It feels like a punch to the jaw. Not that he knows exactly how that feels, but the time when he was kicked in the cheek during a Vocal Adrenaline lift in his freshman year must be a close approximation.

He knows what a stage kiss looks like. What was happening on that stage was anything but a stage kiss, excepting the fact that it was a kiss, and on a stage. Though, when he said kiss, he supposed that it was more akin to that scene in Hairspray.

It hurts him almost as much as it did the previous week when she all but confirmed that she was singing songs from Funny Girl to... him. He'd always considered it to have been their film - apparently she didn't view it in the same way. Had that kiss in the auditorium meant nothing to her? It seemed that way.

He needs to find a way to distract himself from this. Perhaps this was a stage kiss. He'd never needed to clutch at straws before, but this was an exceptional situation. Turning to his co-director, he enquires as to whether this had been a scripted plan. It's difficult to hide his disappointment when he denies it.

They say that three is a magical number. Somehow it didn't feel that way when this made a third heartbreak courtesy of Rachel Berry. He can't do this any more. He feels like so many of those victims in love triangles, like Glinda during the second act of Wicked. Maybe he'd return to his uncle's house and record On My Own.

He's suddenly glad of the fake ID in his pocket. Whichever way the results went, he didn't want to be around them. He hopes that they lose for behaving unprofessionally (and not just for making him feel this way).

Maybe he'll stay in New York. Being trapped on an airplane with them would be too much. Perhaps he could ask for a flight downgrade to standard class - the culture shock that would ensue would be worth it, and isn't that what iPods were created for?

Rachel Berry was his first serious relationship, his first love and his first, second and third heartbreak. He has no doubts that he'll never attempt relationships again.