A/N: Guys PLEASE review and leave feedback because I REALLY need to know if this is going well. I want to do Merthur justice, not just put up a crappy fic. Any kind of criticism would be highly appreciated :*

(there were some mistakes in the chapter because i had accidentally uploaded the wrong document. Its all pretty much the same actually except a few small blunders and the horizontal lines)

The dim moonlight only just illuminates the still, dark lake and its surroundings. The chilly November breeze picks up and a man, almost hidden in the shadow of a tree, pulls his coat tighter around himself. His long, pale fingers slide themselves deep into the pockets of his jeans as he slowly walks closer to the edge of the lake. The wind blows his dark hair back, exposing his forehead and he bows his head a bit, hiding his face further behind the woolen blue scarf that is draped over his shoulders, around his neck.

Merlin comes here more often than anybody can count. But he can be seen here most at night. At night when it's all quiet, he can sit here in without being disturbed. No people, nothing. Just silence. Almost like the silence, he remembers, that surrounded him once, over a thousand years ago. A silence that was deafening only punctured here and there with his sobs.

His shoes slide a bit over the damp grass as he reaches the edge. His eyes swivel once over the lake and then he sits down, pulling his legs up and hugging them to his chest. His chin rests on his knees and he stares out at the lake, stares without seeing. The past plays itself behind his eyes like a movie. All the mistakes he made.

The mistakes that led to Arthur's death. He knew. He knew. Why had he been so naive? All those chances he had of finishing Mordred. What if he had not contributed to Mordred's escape that night? Uther would have had him executed. The dragon had told him countless times that Mordred would be Arthur's death.

And he had been. No matter how much Merlin was convinced that Merlin would protect Arthur and shape the future.

I'm an idiot, Merlin thinks. And a bitter smile touches his lips as he remembers Arthur calling him an idiot more times than he can count. The breeze caresses his face gently and he allows his eyes to slide shut.

He wonders how it would have been, had Arthur not died in that manner. If he had lived his life normally. He would have still died eventually, a few decades later. Merlin would still be just as grieved and just as hopeful, waiting for Arthur to rise again.

Immortality is no gift, Merlin thinks bitterly. It's a curse.

He had met several people over the years, who craved immortality. They had grown scarcer as belief in magic lessened and then finished completely. If only they knew.

A very soft gurgling sound reaches Merlin's ears and his head snaps up, eyes sharp. They sweep over his surroundings, lingering longer over the lake. Where had it come from? He strains his ears, nails digging into his palms.

Another gurgle sounds and Merlin stands up, not daring to breathe as he notices soft ripples rolling over the surface of the lake. Without realizing, he takes a few steps forward, the tips of his shoes touching the edge of the water. First a couple, and then steady bubbles come from somewhere beneath the water. Something stirs and the ripples turn into small waves. Merlin strides forward, wading into the cold water, without paying attention to the cold seeping through his clothes and clinging to his body, making him shiver.

The surface of the lake breaks as a silver blade rises up, a pale hand clutching the hilt. Freya? Merlin thinks but just one proper look tells him that his not the hand that had risen out of the lake twice before. It was one more familiar than that.

'Arthur.' The word escapes his lips before he realizes. His knees feel and weak and the only thing keeping him up is the image before him. He's frozen, shocked. Arthur, Arthur, Arthur, he thinks, unable to register anything else. Another arm has emerged from the depths by now and Merlin watches, hypnotized.

A gasping and sputtering manages to break through Merlin's trance and his eyes widen as he realizes Arthur is struggling to come up. In less than a few seconds, Merlin is grasping the arms and tugging Arthur up while trying to keep his own head above the water as well. A blond head surfaces, gasping for breath. He looks up and the blue eyes find Merlin's. Arthur grasps the dark haired man's arm with his free hand and holds himself up.

'Arthur...' Merlin whispers holding him tightly and resisting the urge to hug him till every last molecule of air leaves Arthur's lungs. The Once and Future King stumbles forward and buries his face in his warlock's shoulder, his fingers digging into Merlin's arm. They both ignore the cold and the chin-high water surrounding them. 'Arthur, it's really you...' Merlin realizes Arthur is trembling. 'It's really cold.' He murmurs. 'Let's get you home.'

Sliding his arm around Arthur's waist to support him, Merlin guides them out of the lake.

Arthur sags and falls to his knees as soon as they reach the grass.

'Arthur!' Merlin crouches beside him and takes his face in his hands. His eyes are half closed and his breathing, labored. In better light, Merlin notices the dark circles around Arthur's eyes. 'Tell me what's wrong, I can fix it. Where does it hurt, Arthur?' His heart beats harder and he's close to panicking. 'Please...' He whispers, barely holding back the tears.

Arthur's fingers curl around Merlin's wrist, gripping it tightly. His eyes roll back into his head.

'What? What is it? Why won't you say anything?' His thumbs trace Arthur's cheeks and he closes his eyes, letting his magic flow through his hands, seeping into the shivering man before him. His eyes widen and he gasps. A dead end. Whatever it was that Arthur had, it was not something Merlin was able to access. It was like a blocked passage. A dark room. And it was sucking energy out of Merlin by the second, exhausting him. He stops his flow of magic, feeling dizzy. He would have to figure this out at home.

'Come on, Arthur.' He mumbles, but Arthur's eyes roll back into his head and he loses all consciousness. 'Arthur.' Merlin chokes out, patting his cheek. Sliding his arms under his head and knees, he lifts the king and carries him up to his BMW. A golden glow of eyes later, the back door swings open and Merlin carefully settles him on the smooth leather seats. 'Everything will be okay, I promise. I promise.'

He rushes to the wheel and drives them home, almost colliding with a vespa and a car on the way.


Merlin's fingers tremble as they unbuckle the leather straps of Arthur's armor. His hands move automatically, still remembering the pattern after all these years. The armor makes dull thudding sounds on the carpeted bedroom floor as he drops it piece by piece, concentrating on keeping Arthur standing my magic.

A concentration which waivers slightly as his fingertips brush against Arthur's smooth abdomen as he tugs off the soaked tunic. A familiar shiver tingles through his body, one that he had tried hard to forget. Even when Arthur was alive. Merlin bites his lip and steadies himself before picking up a dry towel and guiding it over the blond man's chest and back. Then he drapes it over his head leans in slightly to be able to dry his hair more easily, their cheeks brush and Merlin flushes.

His hands let the towel slip and he stares at Arthur, strands of hair falling over the slightly furrowed brow. Merlin smiles softly as he remembers that gentle frown is what Arthur had every morning after he had gotten out of bed and into his fresh clothes for the day. He had never been a morning person.

Something inside Merlin longs to hold Arthur in his arms. He had waited so long. A millennium. More. Just to see Arthur again. To hear a frustrated 'Merlin!' only the way he could say it. To be made fun of and then gruffly told none of it was true. To be hugged once more like he had been when Arthur had found him after Morgana had cursed him.

The yearning makes him feel like someone is twisting his stomach. He swallows the lump and settles for a soft kiss just beneath Arthur's ear. 'I missed you so much, Arthur.' He mumbles and hesitates only a second before pulling away and stopping himself from inhaling any more of his neck.


'Shit.' Merlin swears. 'Shit.' He runs his fingers through his hair, tugging them exasperatedly. Anxiety engulfs him and he starts pacing around his apartment, digging into stacks of books looking for anymore of Gaius' books on magic and the Old Religion. Nothing. He couldn't figure out anything. He had found nothing that was even close to what Arthur had. He didn't have much to go on, either.

Something that blocked magic from touching it, made the victim unconscious and...?

He felt like he was letting Arthur down. Disappointing him. He holds his head in his hands, trying to calm down.

A crash sounds from the bedroom and Merlin sprints to his room. 'Arthur?' He pushes open the door and finds a wide eyed and very panicked once and future king who stands up quickly. His legs are trembling, his face paler and faint beads of sweat clinging to his forehead.

'M- Merlin-' He rasps out, stumbling forward. Merlin closes the distance between them and slides his arms to Arthur's back, holding him tightly.

'It's okay, I'm here.' He whispers, hugging Arthur's rigid form. 'Everything is okay, Arthur.' his fingers brush the hair at the nape of his neck.

Fingers clutch at Merlin's shirt at his waist and Arthur's body relaxes, if only slightly. 'Merlin...' his breath hitches and the fingers dig into Merlin's skin. 'Don't- Don't let me die Merlin please...'

'I won't, not this time. I promise. Nothing will happen to you.'

Arthur doesn't respond.

'I promise.' Merlin repeats firmly and tugs him back towards the bed. 'You need to rest. Tell me what's happening, where does it hurt? Anything.' He sits him down and tries to keep the desperation out of his voice.

Arthur hugs himself tightly and stares forward without answering, rocking back and forth slowly.

'Arthur?'

'I don't want to go back Merlin. I don't. I don't. Don't let me go back. Please. Plea-'

'Arthur, I won't. Trust me. You'll stay here with me.' Merlin tries to keep his voice steady and keep hysteria at bay. His arms slide around the blonde's shoulders and he pulls him close, resting his head on his own shoulder. Arthur doesn't seem to notice, and keeps staring out into space but his shaking calms a bit.

The warlock tries to make sense of the things going on. What was Arthur talking about? He didn't dare ask him in case he snapped again.

Merlin's thumb rubs circles on Arthur's temple absently. His mind whirs with struggle for explanation. 'Here,' he murmurs softly. 'Lie down for a bit, I need to get my laptop.' He lays Arthur's head on the pillow gently and lifts his feet back onto the bed. 'I'll get you something to eat, okay?'

Arthur's unblinking, blue eyes are unnerving and Merlin turns to go. Immediately Arthur's fingers wrap themselves around his wrist tightly and Merlin faces him once more and sees the panic in his eyes. 'Don't, Merlin.' he whispers desperately. 'Don't leave me.'

'Arthur I'm just going to get my-'

'NO! Merlin-'

'Okay, okay. It's okay. I'm going nowhere, see?' Merlin swallows and sits beside Arthur, back against the bed, pulling his legs up. He tugs the sheets till they're over both of them. Arthur considers this for a second before his fingers loosen around Merlin's wrist but he doesn't let go completely, instead he turns to his side and stares without seeing once more, nose almost touching Merlin's thigh.

The dark haired boy rests his palm against Arthur's forehead to check for a fever. The blond leans into the touch and his eyes flutter close. After getting over the initial surprise, Merlin presses his hand gently and his long fingers are soon combing through the soft, golden hair. His vision becomes blurry and he can only be grateful that Arthur isn't awake to see him cry. To see how helpless he feels, unable to rid his friend of the thing that was hurting him. Consuming Arthur's sanity. Making him feel so scared. Arthur. Arthur of Camelot had rarely been scared. And those few times he had been, he had never admitted it. Merlin could only see it in his eyes. Which he had learned to read over all those years. They are still the same. An open book to Merlin. And now they show things he has never before seen in his eyes. And he can't quite place them but he knows they aren't pleasant.

The golden lashes rested against the pale cheeks are what break him. Break that last strand that was holding him together. Merlin's body shakes with silent sobs.

Merlin can't see Arthur like this.


'Arthur?' Merlin says softly, shaking his arm. 'Wake up, you need to eat.'

Arthur opens an eye and frowns. 'Shut up, Merlin.' The sheets are pulled back up over his face.

Merlin bites his lip to hold back the hysterical laughter that threatens to come gushing out of his throat. 'Somebody's feeling better.' He lays the tray on the side table.

A muffled 'what' sounds from beneath the covers and Arthur sits up abruptly. He squints against the bright light and looks around.

'Oh.' His face darkens. 'I…'

The same panicky look slips back into his eyes and Merlin bites his lip harder. 'I made your favorite stew.' His hands shake as he picks up the bowl. Arthur looks at him, uncomprehending.

'Your favorite stew.' Merlin repeats weakly, sitting beside him and holding out the bowl. Arthur blinks at it.

'How- how are you feeling Arthur?' Merlin asks tentatively.

'It hurts less,' He responds quietly.

'Where does it hurt?'

'It's not… It's not in my body.'

'What do you mean?'

Arthur takes the bowl from Merlin and looks at it, turning it in his hand. 'This is a strange bowl.' He says, almost inaudible. He looks around the room again and then his clothes. (One of Merlin's large hoodies and a pair of slacks. Merlin had to remember to buy clothes for Arthur later.) 'What kind of place are we in, Merlin?'

The dark haired boy sits at the edge of the bed and sighs, running his fingers through his hair. 'This is my- our home now.'

The spoon clinks against the china bowl and Merlin sees Arthur taking a spoonful from the corner of his eye. 'What- What about the castle? Isn't that our home?'

'Things are… Different now. It's been,' Merlin hesitates. 'Over a thousand years.'

'I don't understand, Merlin.' He puts the stew back on the tray and holds his head in his hands. 'I don't understand anything.' His voice is small.

'Hey,' Merlin whispers and shifts to be beside him. His fingers graze Arthur's knee. 'I'll explain everything to you. Don't worry, please? It's okay, it's not a big deal.'

'How would you know?'

'I just…' Merlin exhales heavily. 'Arthur, I know it's going to be hard for a while. Don't be too troubled over this. It's the least of our concerns, I'm worried about you.'

'I'm fine.'

'You said it hurts less, where- How does it hurt?'

'What happened? After I… Died- What is that noise?!'

'Cars.'

'What?'

'Um, horseless carriages?' Merlin tries half heartedly.

'Horseless? Sorcery?'

'No, its not… Sorcery isn't believed in, anymore.'

Arthur's head snapped up. 'What?'

'Magic died out. People don't think magic is real now.'

'How did it die out, Merlin?' a confused look adorns Arthur's face and Merlin has to stifle a smile.

'They killed a lot of people who were thought to have magic, Arthur. Not in Albion, the land you brought together but in other kingdoms. Eventually there were very few people with magic left. '

'What happened to Camelot- Albion?'

Merlin swallows and looks away. 'Gwen ruled for a very long time, Arthur. But there was no heir and...' He trails off, biting his lip.

'And what?'

'There was a woman ruling. We countered many attacks successfully. Many died defending your kingdom. Sir Percival and Sir Leon were only two of the many knights who died. But that didn't last forever. After forty five years, our army was weakening. Gwen didn't always know how to have the men trained. Sir Leon met his end only six years after you…' Merlin clears his throat before continuing. 'I helped where ever I could, Arthur but we dealt with many traitors still holding grudges about Uther's rule. The neighboring kingdoms were ready to bribe heavily for inside information and spies. Everyone wanted a piece of the united land of Albion that you left behind. We were flourishing. But...' Merlin hesitates and looks at his hands. 'Not all magic is good. Some sorcerers assisted the attacks. There were only a handful of them left. Some were good while others just abused their magic.'

Arthur looks at him expectantly, waiting for him to finish but he doesn't go on. 'What did they do?' Arthur asks, urging Merlin to tell him the rest but the warlock only fumbles with his fingers. 'Merlin.'

'I let you down, okay?' Merlin bursts out and gets off the bed, back turned to Arthur. 'I failed. I'm an idiot. I fell into their trap. One of them, a young girl, she came to the castle seeking my help. She said a small group of sorcerers was living just outside Albion but they couldn't escape because King Hieneth's men were patrolling the woods they were living in, constantly. King Hieneth was killing every sorcerer because many of them were thought to be our spies because we accepted old religion and magic. I rode with her to- to help… I thought… I thought…' He wipes the tears away hastily with the back of his hand and continues before he cant speak about it anymore. 'By the time I realized that… It had been a trick. It was already too late. I- I came back to a fallen Albion and- Gwen, she was- they killed-' A sob escapes his lips and he buries his face in his hands.

'Merlin you didn't-' Arthur's warm body is beside him in a second and he is turning Merlin around by the shoulders. 'It wasn't your fault. Look at me.' His hands gently cup his face and thumbs wipe away Merlin's tears. He tilts his face up but the dark haired boy doesn't meet Arthur's eyes. The other man lets his thumbs travel down to Merlin's lips and trace them gently. Merlin's eyes widen and Arthur leans in just a bit, brushing their lips together.

'Arthur,' He murmurs against his lips, eyes fluttering close. Arthur pulls Merlin in for a proper kiss, their lips barely touch when the doorbell tears through. Merlin jumps and stumbles back. 'No.' he whispers, his face turning pale. 'No, Arthur. We're not- Not again. Not this time.'

Trying his best to ignore the hurt look on Arthur's face he strides out of the room as the bell rings again.


A/N: I really hope you guys enjoyed that ^_^

Review because Merthur is canon :3