If life was the kind of movie that's Oscar bait - epic, bleak and depressing -, he would have come back from Africa a broken man. He hasn't seen nice stuff and some scenes are sewn on his eyeballs, but he's far from broken. He's learnt how to fix houses and how to build schools.
He's full of energy and Yankumi can see that as soon as he appears before her. He's leaning against a door frame and wearing an expensive suit. His arrogant smile lacks all the self-doubt it used to contain and she barely refrains from jumping at him and giving him the hug of the century.
She tells herself is because he'd find it embarrassing.
If life was an inspirational movie - the kind that has teachers on it -, her students would be a bunch of unfits and a gallery of hot topic issues. They are but for the first time in ages, Yankumi is teaching girls.
Girls that bully. Girls that make bad boyfriend picks. Girls that gossip. Girls that fall for their teachers.
Yes, Yankumi is teaching girls and the inspirational movie is just not happening.
If life was a shonen manga - with tournaments and well-endowed women -, Yankumi would feel comfortable. Pure slapstick and punches. As much as she's always enjoyed romantic fantasies, her students' hormone-fuelled exploits are starting to worry her. And it's not because they tend to involved Shin. Not at all.
She spends her lunches with Shin plotting kidnapping stunts and mugging ploys.
She tells herself that's all there's to it.
If this was a soap opera - wacky hijinks and over the top drama -, the gossiping would escalate into Yankumi falling down some flight of stairs or a fake pregnancy. Instead, the girls soon start making uncomfortable comments in class and giggling any time they see 'Sawada-sensei'.
Yankumi doesn't know whether to feel flattered or bullied.
If life was a slapstick comedy - and apparently, Yankumi's is -, her students would arrange fateful meetings and romantic lunches. They'd start putting themselves in danger just to give Shin excuses to save the day - even if it mostly ends with Yankumi saving it instead -.
They do.
Yankumi doesn't notice.
If life was a Jane Austen book - snark, balls and social commentary -, they'd get together after months of misunderstandings and misdirection. Their relationship would slowly grow, filled with jokes and inner changes. She'd pretend to like somebody else first and he wouldn't know why it bothers him.
Yankumi 'falls in love' with a stranger - another teacher, another cop - but Shin does know. He knows and then he acts.
If life was a Hollywood movie - the good kind, the kind with Classic Stars and brand new Technicolor -, the sunset would fill the screen, they'd be alone and the violins' melodies would surround them.
Instead, they're hiding in the school gym, the footsteps of Yankumi's students are getting dangerously close and there's no soundtrack to be found.
She doesn't care. It's the best kiss she has ever had.
If life was a porn movie - with bad production values and groan-worthy puns -, they'd be perfect and nobody would fall off beds or break lamps.
Instead, it's oddly comfortable, Yankumi giggles more than she should and Shin drops the 'experimented lead man' act quickly.
It's perfect in its own way.
If life were a shoujo manga - and if she was a high-school student -, she'd be running with a toast in her mouth and then she'd run into the love of her life and fall on top of him.
For the first time in months, she can stay in bed and she would, if she weren't full of energy any day, any time. She gets up, cleans her teeth, smiles to the mirror and then realizes he's still in her bed.
He lazily drags one arm from below the sheets and waves to her.
It isn't a shoujo manga, but, after all, toast is overrated.
