Emmett's POV

I had nothing to do whilst sitting on my bed staring at Rosalie doing her yoga. Arrgghh what the hell am I supposed to do. I had already run out of things to think about Nessie and Jacob doing stuff to disturb Edward. I'd snuck into Alice's closet and burnt 5 of her outfits with a Bunsen burner I got from school and Jasper had had to leave the house after I kept changing my emotions. SCORE!

What shall I do? OOOOOO I know! I'll count the dots on the ceiling! One, two, five, ten, three, seven, one hundred! Damn those speed counting classes! I heard Bella and Edward going down the stairs.

"Calm down, Edward, nothing's actually happened. It's just Emmett thinking about it ok?"

"But…but…it felt so real!" Edward sounded desperate. My evil plan has worked! MWAH-HA-HA. Hmm, maybe I could go push them down the stairs!

"Don't even think about it Emmett!!" yelled Edward. Maybe I could go push them down the stairs. Maybe I could go push them down the stairs. Maybe I could go push them down the stairs.

"SHUT UP!!!" he screamed. Lolz. Hehe lolz, that's a funny word. LOLZ! LOLZ! LOLZ! LOLZ! LOLZ! I heard Edward scream and Bella slammed open the door.

"Emmett! What the hell? What the hell are you thinking to make Edward scream so loudly?" she asked annoyed. Rose stood up and smirked at her.

"Yeah, usually you're the only one making him scream, right Bella?" she said. I snickered.

"Right, you want some tips lil sis?" I asked. Edward appeared behind her and crouched to spring at me. I laughed, Like he could take me down! Bring it on big boy! He snarled as he heard that thought. Bella had a huge smile on her face.

"You better run, Emmett," she advised and looked at Edward who was shaking with anger just like that stupid moronic mutt. This got through to Edward and he smirked. Bella turned around and saw his expression. She glared at him. He immediately scowled again.

"That's my daughter's soul mate Emmett," he growled, with a look of disgust on his face.

"But you hate him right!" I said enthusiastically.

"Of cour—" he caught sight of Bella's face, "I mean, what are you talking about! I LOVE that flea-bitten, mangy, scrawny pup. What's not to like?" Rosalie snorted.

"Umm, how about smell, looks, taste and generally everything about him?" she said. Woo! Go Rose! State the obvious. That's what I like about her! My babe. I started remembering last night. What a vixen! I wondered if Bella was as good as her.

"EMMETT!" Edward sprang at me, snarling. We crashed through the window and landed in Esme's flowerbeds. Shit. We were so dead. I rolled us over and bared my teeth at him. He pushed at me and launched me across the garden. I hit something hard. Double shit!! Jazz's gonna kill us for wrecking his motorbike!

"Edward!" I heard Bella shout.

"Emmett!" Rose pulled me off Edward whilst Bella held Edward back. He glared at me. Something the matter little brother? I asked him. He growled. Then his expression changed abruptly. His eyes were wide as he grabbed Bella and ran with her into the forest. Weird. I turned to Rose. She didn't look as if she cared much.

"What do you think that was about?" I asked her. She shrugged, inspecting her nails. I turned back to where they had disappeared to.

"Hey, maybe—"

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BABY!!!?" Something barrelled into me from the side.

"AAAGH!!" I screamed loudly. Jasper was pummelling me and he was so fast, I didn't have time to react.

"STOP!" Esme yelled. We slowly backed away from each other.

"What's going on here?" she asked. Jasper and Alice pointed at me.

"That buffoon crushed my baby!" he said, glaring at me.

"It wasn't my fault!" I said, "I tripped over the fairy house and landed on the see-saw which flipped up a custard pie which landed on Edward and he stumbled back and fell on the bike!" That was such a good story! So totally believable! Best one yet!

"MmHmm, you know what Emmett I would believe you if you showed me the evidence!" said Esme who was now tapping her foot impatiently.

Shit. What am I gonna do now? But that was the least of my worries. Esme was literally red and was staring at her plants and if a vampire could have exploded she would have!

"Wha…huh…you…them…EMMETT!"

"I did not do it! Why do you always look at me?" I yelled. Carlisle, who was now outside, was having a mini fit of laughter. He raised his eyebrows.

"If you didn't do it then who did?" he asked.

"Edward did it!" I screamed

"Both of you are grounded for 2 whole months!" Esme who was now on her knees staring at her plants shouted. Hmm well I guess it is better than doing the laundry.

"And Emmett! Laundry duty for that time! Go do your clothes! Now!"

Jeez for a vampire mom she was so mean. I guess I'll go and do the washing it might take a month away. NOT!

"Fine, but now I know who's your favourite!" I yelled at her. Her eyes went dark with anger. Carlisle stepped forward, slightly alarmed.

"OMC! OMC! EMMETT RUN!" Alice screamed. I turned and bolted into the forest.

***(((***)))***(((***)))TIME WARP***EMMETT*** TIME WARP(((***)))***(((***)))***

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WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT!!! TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR…OMC THIS SOUNDS LIKE LOOOOOOONEY TOOOONES!

Duudez we are like writing this for you on the school computers. Damn I cant type!!!!!!

Sos anyhoos this is on skorpian672's and .To .Be. Bitten's accounts so we didn't copyright it k's?

WHO WANTS MORE!!!!!! We do! LOLZ! LOLZ! LOLZ! LOLZ! LOLZ!

WE LOVE ROBERT PATTINSON aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa HEHE

NO WE DON'T YOU FREEEEEEK!

OK SHUT UP NOW byeeeeee! Say bye sadia!

I only have two lines not fair!

Dude

You rule if you leave a comment woooo now I have the same amount =]

Riiiiiiiight HA NOW I HAVE MORE MWAH HA HA!! BYEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Sophie n Sadia