A/N: Can two thirds of the Dream team stand by each other? Or will they find that they can't work it out? Is love really all you need? Have I been listening to too much Oldies?
Okay, my friend broke me down by constant email bombardment, so here goes: My first (And so far only) Ron/Hermione story. Of course, it won't be regular. Of course it will be funny. Of course this A/N is over.
PS: Sometimes inspiration comes from the most unlikely places. I was watching cartoons, and in an ad for the Powerpuff girls, it showed Bubbles (the red one) with a random kid, and she was shouting "Release the cheese!" from like, a high rise. I looked back down at my laptop, and saw this story just form in front of my eyes. It moves fast, so enjoy while you can!
Poetic License Alert: They're in their sixth year, and Hermione has a first year cousin named-what else-Cheese. Also, they can use a radio in the next chapter because I don't wanna think up something else. Let's just say all the parts were enchanted, then put back together, ala Mr. Weasley.
If I Can't Have You
"Ronald Weasley! Release the Cheese!" Hermione shouted, running into the common room.
"But Hermione! He's hidden my chess set! And he won't give them back!" Ron pleaded, trying to look innocent, even as the first year he was holding by his ankles was turning red.
"I don't care, put him down!" She screamed.
Ron obeyed the letter of the law, if not the spirit. He let go of the kid's ankles, and the boy collapsed into a heap.
Scrambling to his feet, the boy gave Ron a dirty look before turning to Hermione. "Thank's Hermy, my blood vessels were starting to burst."
"Cheese, don't call me Hermy. Why'd you hide Ron's chess set?" She asked patiently. Ron was glaring at the Hermione's first year cousin, who for some reason unknown to anyone at Hogwarts but Hermione, was known only as Cheese.
"He took my chess set first!" Cheese insisted. "He said I wasn't good enough to have a set!"
Hermione looked at Ron, who was slowly turning red.
"Mione, he wasn't good enough! He was mistreating that thing, throwing it around and dropping it in his soup-why, if it'd been an animal, it would have been taken away by now-"
"Ron, when the prefects need your help, we'll ask for it." She snapped. "Give him back his chess set. Cheese, go get Ron's."
Ron grudgingly handed over a small, battered chess set from his pocket. Cheese grabbed it and ran up the boys stairs. He returned seconds later with Ron's set, which gleamed in it's freshly polished cherry-wood box. He handed it to Hermione, stuck his tongue out at Ron, and ran up the stairs again as fast as he could.
Hermione handed the box to Ron. "Now, if I hear once more of you picking on first years, Ron..."
"Hermione, if anything, he's been picking on me!" Ron insisted. "The little snot's already tied my shoelaces together, hid my chess set twice, and spilled cranberry juice on my new white dragon-hide cloak from Charlie-"
"I don't want excuses, Ron. Leave Cheese alone." With that, she retreated to a chair by the fire to start her homework.
Ron stood aghast for a moment, then stalked over towards Harry, who was helping Ginny with a large astronomy project.
"Is it just me, or has she gotten scarier since Cheese showed up?" He muttered, sinking into a chair, squashing Jupiter and several quills.
"She's just nervous about being a good prefect so she can make Head Girl." Harry muttered distractedly, trying to find the planet Ron had just squashed.
"Well, maybe it's also because he's her only relative here." Ginny mused. "Weren't you nervous when I came?"
"I was nervous when *I* came here, mostly 'cause of Fred and George." Ron rolled his eyes at Harry, who snickered. "I wouldn't be that nervous if Cousin Amos showed up." He glanced back at Hermione, who was trying her best to ignore Cheese while he flittered around her chair.
"Well, Cousin Amos is an accountant." Ginny pulled the squashed papers out from under Ron. "Cheese is a wizard in training."
"Pretty bad one, if you ask me." Ron muttered.
"Your problem Ron, is that no one ever does." Ginny replied cooly.
"Why do you hate that guy anyway?" Harry asked, distracting Ron from Ginny's last statement.
"He's just so...annoying, for lack of a stronger word." He glanced back at Cheese and Hermione, just in time to see him knock over her bottle of ink. "Clumsy, also. He's just also always...there." He waved an arm in their direction again.
"Seems to me that what bugs you is he's always around Hermione." Ginny grinned slyly.
"That is not why!" Ron answered a little too quickly, turning red.
"Is he making it hard for you to get a moment alone?" Ginny asked in a syrupy voice.
"I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer." Ron answered anyway. He stood and marched up the boy's stairs, oblivious to the small first year that had been crouched behind his seat, who had heard every word.
Okay, my friend broke me down by constant email bombardment, so here goes: My first (And so far only) Ron/Hermione story. Of course, it won't be regular. Of course it will be funny. Of course this A/N is over.
PS: Sometimes inspiration comes from the most unlikely places. I was watching cartoons, and in an ad for the Powerpuff girls, it showed Bubbles (the red one) with a random kid, and she was shouting "Release the cheese!" from like, a high rise. I looked back down at my laptop, and saw this story just form in front of my eyes. It moves fast, so enjoy while you can!
Poetic License Alert: They're in their sixth year, and Hermione has a first year cousin named-what else-Cheese. Also, they can use a radio in the next chapter because I don't wanna think up something else. Let's just say all the parts were enchanted, then put back together, ala Mr. Weasley.
If I Can't Have You
"Ronald Weasley! Release the Cheese!" Hermione shouted, running into the common room.
"But Hermione! He's hidden my chess set! And he won't give them back!" Ron pleaded, trying to look innocent, even as the first year he was holding by his ankles was turning red.
"I don't care, put him down!" She screamed.
Ron obeyed the letter of the law, if not the spirit. He let go of the kid's ankles, and the boy collapsed into a heap.
Scrambling to his feet, the boy gave Ron a dirty look before turning to Hermione. "Thank's Hermy, my blood vessels were starting to burst."
"Cheese, don't call me Hermy. Why'd you hide Ron's chess set?" She asked patiently. Ron was glaring at the Hermione's first year cousin, who for some reason unknown to anyone at Hogwarts but Hermione, was known only as Cheese.
"He took my chess set first!" Cheese insisted. "He said I wasn't good enough to have a set!"
Hermione looked at Ron, who was slowly turning red.
"Mione, he wasn't good enough! He was mistreating that thing, throwing it around and dropping it in his soup-why, if it'd been an animal, it would have been taken away by now-"
"Ron, when the prefects need your help, we'll ask for it." She snapped. "Give him back his chess set. Cheese, go get Ron's."
Ron grudgingly handed over a small, battered chess set from his pocket. Cheese grabbed it and ran up the boys stairs. He returned seconds later with Ron's set, which gleamed in it's freshly polished cherry-wood box. He handed it to Hermione, stuck his tongue out at Ron, and ran up the stairs again as fast as he could.
Hermione handed the box to Ron. "Now, if I hear once more of you picking on first years, Ron..."
"Hermione, if anything, he's been picking on me!" Ron insisted. "The little snot's already tied my shoelaces together, hid my chess set twice, and spilled cranberry juice on my new white dragon-hide cloak from Charlie-"
"I don't want excuses, Ron. Leave Cheese alone." With that, she retreated to a chair by the fire to start her homework.
Ron stood aghast for a moment, then stalked over towards Harry, who was helping Ginny with a large astronomy project.
"Is it just me, or has she gotten scarier since Cheese showed up?" He muttered, sinking into a chair, squashing Jupiter and several quills.
"She's just nervous about being a good prefect so she can make Head Girl." Harry muttered distractedly, trying to find the planet Ron had just squashed.
"Well, maybe it's also because he's her only relative here." Ginny mused. "Weren't you nervous when I came?"
"I was nervous when *I* came here, mostly 'cause of Fred and George." Ron rolled his eyes at Harry, who snickered. "I wouldn't be that nervous if Cousin Amos showed up." He glanced back at Hermione, who was trying her best to ignore Cheese while he flittered around her chair.
"Well, Cousin Amos is an accountant." Ginny pulled the squashed papers out from under Ron. "Cheese is a wizard in training."
"Pretty bad one, if you ask me." Ron muttered.
"Your problem Ron, is that no one ever does." Ginny replied cooly.
"Why do you hate that guy anyway?" Harry asked, distracting Ron from Ginny's last statement.
"He's just so...annoying, for lack of a stronger word." He glanced back at Cheese and Hermione, just in time to see him knock over her bottle of ink. "Clumsy, also. He's just also always...there." He waved an arm in their direction again.
"Seems to me that what bugs you is he's always around Hermione." Ginny grinned slyly.
"That is not why!" Ron answered a little too quickly, turning red.
"Is he making it hard for you to get a moment alone?" Ginny asked in a syrupy voice.
"I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer." Ron answered anyway. He stood and marched up the boy's stairs, oblivious to the small first year that had been crouched behind his seat, who had heard every word.
