It's Alphonse!

written by and posted for TimCHell (she has no account and we share this one XD) by KumikoKun

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The end. --

Just a Little Roleplaying

You never forgave him because he left us.

I understand that. I understand because I never forgave her.

She left us too, brother. You just refused to see it.

I hated your sympathy for her. You smiled brightly for her when she frowned so sadly. And I was left in the dark.

How pathetic a figure she made sitting there, demurely in front of the window. Waiting for him, always she waited for him. Like me, she waited for the person she in which she saw no fault.

Because no matter my resentment to you I couldn't ever hate you…it would be so much easier to hate you I think. It was easy hating her. Every task she took upon herself, she managed with sadness.

Even the task of raising us. You my Brother, refused to see it. Your eyes were so clouded by duty. Duty to her...

I remember the way you clutched her hand with one of your own. And how all that was left was for me to grasp futilely at the other. Eventually I didn't even bother to attempt to hold you to me.

Hers always eclipsed my love.

Why do you still refuse to see, brother? She never saw either of us. Not really. She saw only him in you.

And she never saw me at all.

She was a husk. A husk filled with sad regret holding on to the memories your face kept alive for her. And then even those memories weren't enough to hold her. She left us completely. Her husk failed to be animated any longer by her sorrow.

And you had to try and bring her back.

Wasn't I enough? Or did you simply crave the role she provided for you. The role of a living memory. A testament to what she had lost. The role of you as her child was always second for her. And you accepted it gladly, just to see her empty smile.

She always shadowed me in your heart, didn't she?

Why did it take that night of loss to make you realize your true role? The role you were born into, not forced into by a shattered soul.

The role of brother, of protector…

Why did you choose her above me, even after her death? Why did it take my pain to make you see that role which you had been left with?

She was never there…can't you see that? No, even now you can't.

She was never there, not really.

And to her, neither were you.

fin

Phew, well this fic attacked my brain as soon as I got off the phone with you Jenn. It took about fifteen minutes to write and about as long to type...I hope there wasn't too much bleeding involved. Ya know? XD

It's not even close to what I think Al feels, but at least it's something.