The Experiment

Mr. Ratburn had done it again. Three different math exercises, an essay, a history reading, a biology assignment (or was it chemistry...?), and even a few extra credit projects were all due in one day.

His students were furious. They met up at the Sugar Bowl for some brain food before their big nights of studying, all of them complaining about the mounds of homework they were being asked to do. And as a sign from the gods, Buster's backpack burst at the seams, sending his books and belongings all over the cool, tile floor.

"Okay, that's it!" Buster screeched, sliding back his nearly untouched sundae and standing on the booth. "We shouldn't stand for this! We should show him he's giving us too much! We should-"

"Sit down, Mr. Baxter."

"Yes, Sir," Buster murmured to the owner, sitting down with a defeated expression as his friends passed him his things. "Thanks, guys. Anyone with any ideas?"

"Well yours is just stupid," Muffy glared. "If we don't do our homework, he'll give us all detention. I can't have that on my flawless record. Mumzy would be furious with me, and I bet Daddy would take away my allowance. I canNOT have that happen," Muffy spat, sipping her strawberry milkshake while glaring in Buster's direction.

"Unfortunately, while Muffy's diction is condescending in nature, she has a very valid hypothesis," Brain nodded.

"In English?" Francine asked.

"She has a good point," Arthur translated.

"Oh," Francine said flatly before smiling nervously, "I knew that."

"I think we should just get home and do our assignments," Arthur shrugged. "Maybe tomorrow will be better and we won't have to worry about our workloads."

The group agreed and left quietly, disappearing into their rooms to work. They all hoped Arthur's hypothesis would be correct, but at the end of the next school day-

"I can't believe it happened again!" Buster exclaimed, carrying his things in his arms. "I just got this backpack last night! My mom was already mad. She's going to be...be...supernova this time!" he cried. "Arthur, can I just stay with you tonight? Please!" Buster begged.

"Arthur can't have you over because he has a presentation on the Latin countries...all of them," Francine emphasized. "We've never had an assignment like that. What in the world was Ratburn thinking?"

"I don't know, but I have a feeling it's not going to change any time soon," Arthur sighed. "Let's just go home and do the work. None of us can afford a detention."

"Actually, I was thinking more on what Buster said," Muffy murmured, rubbing her fingers. "I can't go on like this and keep my hands beautiful enough to fulfill my dream of being a hand model," Muffy swooned. "I'm not doing any of my assignments tonight. I can't afford the loss."

"I can't do my assignments," Buster muttered. "I don't think my planner is in this-"

"I'm carrying it for you," Arthur said, holding up a pile of Buster's things that he held in his arms. "Muffy, you can still do your work. Just type it all and turn it in that way."

"No, no, Mr. Ratburn doesn't accept work like that. I already tried," Muffy sighed, rolling her eyes as Bailey pulled up. "Just try to remember me when I spend my days in detention," she said dramatically, piling into the limo and disappearing into the distance.

"I'm starting to agree with her too," Francine whispered. "I have family coming over in two days, and I really need to prepare for a Jewish ceremony I'll be going to. I think I'll be joining her in detention tomorrow."

"Count me in!" Buster cheered.

"Wanna go get some brownies from that new bakery? I hear they have some filled with cream cheese icing," Francine smiled. Buster yelled loudly, half of his things falling out of his arms as they quickly walked away.

"I guess that just leaves us, Arthur. Are you going to do your assignments?" Brain asked.

Arthur sighed, "What choice do I have?"

Brain nodded, turning up his street and leaving Arthur alone with his troubles.

The next afternoon, Arthur and Brain were the only ones who left when school let out. Everyone else was stuck in detention for not doing their assignments. Their punishment? To work on their late work ON TOP OF the new work. Arthur felt relieved not to be apart of that group, as did Brain, but he also wondered what Mr. Ratburn's purpose behind the homework was.

"I hate to leave you so soon, Arthur, but I have a presentation on the mythology of many cultures...all of them!" Brain exclaimed. "Good luck with your assignments, and I do hope we overcome these challenges soon."

Arthur nodded, his thoughts on the work he had yet to do. He would spend his entire night in his room again, giving up his television time and leaving dinner early. His parents had yet to notice, it seemed, but he doubted they could do anything either. He would just have to complete his assignments and hope for the best.

As he wrote away at his essay on ancient cultures, Jane came into the room with a wide smile. Arthur looked up, his expression grim.

"Oh, Arthur, it's not as bad as you think," she smiled. "I have a guest here for you, a very important guest. Finish up that paragraph and come down to see him."

Arthur obeyed, careful to wipe the woodchips from his pencil sharpener off his sleeves before walking downstairs. He had no idea who could be that important other than maybe Grandpa Dave or one of the neighbors, but when he entered the living room-

"Arthur Read, it's a pleasure to hear you're hard at work," Mr. Ratburn smiled.

"T-Thanks," Arthur stammered, a look of confusion flooding his face. What did he want?

"I dropped by to inform you that you are the last one standing in my experiment-"

"Experiment?!" Arthur cried.

"Sit down and don't interupt, dear," Jane giggled. "It's actually fascinating."

"You knew?!" Arthur exclaimed.

"It's perfectly alright, Arthur," Mr. Ratburn said, watching his studious student sit on the couch. "I started doing this experiment a few years ago to help fulfill a course objective set out by the state. Normally you students only become aware of such objectives when you reach high school or college, but you've been following them your entire lives.

"Anyhow, I was asked to survey my students to see which ones would make the best workers later in life. I was given standardized materials, much like the state tests you've taken in the past, but I found them to be ineffective, as many students out of boredom would make pictures with the bubbles instead. I was allowed to keep a few of my favorites," he chuckled, immediately stopping when he found himself to be alone in his amusement. "My point is that I give these massive assignments to my students to see who performs them the longest."

"And I won?" Arthur asked.

Mr. Ratburn nodded, "Alan called just an hour ago apologizing for failing me. He hurt his hand trying to build a model for his presentation, thus he is somewhat out of the competition. You see, I'm not angry or upset with your classmates for turning against me. In fact, I respect the ones who tried but eventually decided it was too much. You'll encounter the same problem in a workplace.

"I explained this to Alan without good results, so I thought I'd come to you. When you reach your future adult career, you may be given more than you can handle. It's perfectly acceptable to negotiate with your supervisors to keep from harming yourself. You'll need to work on that skill, Arthur, if you want to avoid burn out," Mr. Ratburn said, pulling a pamphlet about stress management out of his pocket.

"So all of this was just an experiment to see how we will work as adults?"

"Yes, Arthur, that is correct. In ten years, when most of you will have entered the working world, I will survey you and your current supervisors to see how effective the experiment is. Until then, the data will remain safe and sound in my private files," Mr. Ratburn smiled, standing. "I must leave now, but I want you to do me a favor, Arthur. Watch some cartoons or play outside. Do something other than work yourself to death."

"I will," Arthur smiled, looking up to his mother once Mr. Ratburn was safely out the door. Because Jane was so proud of her son, she removed DW from the room and gave Arthur the television for the night. He watched a Bionic Bunny marathon until he fell asleep.

Buster was furious when he learned the truth. He was no lab rat, no guinea pig. He was a human being with a fragile system, and he planned to get back at Mr. Ratburn for almost giving them all serious punishments over something not even real.

He drew up plans, sketching them out and writing out more plans as his evil genius mind continued to run non-stop.

But Buster didn't understand the point of the experiment. He did not understand its purpose, its key features.

So the next morning when he woke up a failure, he was even more defeated. He slowly walked to school the saddest of all Lakewood Elementary students, his ears so low they nearly dragged the floor.

~End

Theme 006: Teaching A Lesson

Challenge: Mr. Ratburn gives too much homework

A/N: I completed this one-shot for a challenge I'm doing with TheUltimateCombo. For the list of themes and challenges, see our profiles.