Disclaimer: not my characters, all J.K's. shucks.

I wish that I could be a nobody. I hate always being watched. I hate having to live up to everyone else's standards and expectations. I wish I was a faceless, namless, nobody. Life would be so much simpler. Why am I supposed to save the world? Who decided to put a 14 year old kid in charge of the survival of all decent wizards everywhere? Whose idea?!?! I shouldn't have to deal with this. I'm supposed to be worrying about girls and acne and my voice cracking, not whether I can defeat the greatest dark wizard of all time. Just once I'd like to make it through a school year without having my life threatened. Ron has it so much better than me. He has a big loving family, a house with happy memories, an average past and present, and probably an average future. What I wouldn't give to be average. But no, I have to be the Boy Wonder, the kid that wouldn't die. I can't die. I can't let Voldemort win because I won't. I don't want to and I shouldn't have to, but I can't let him win either. Everyone's eyes are on me, watching to see what my next move will be. Why can't it be Neville!!!!!! Why won't they just leave me alone! I want to be a nobody! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

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I wish I could be a somebody. I hate always being pushed aside. I hate always being left behind and forgotten. I wish I was rich and famous, a national celebrity. Life would be so much better. Why can't I be well known and respected? Why am I stuck with the overbearing family, the crumbling house, and nothing special about me? Just once I'd like to make it through a school year without someone insulting my family. I want to win something, do something great, something no one has ever done before and will never do again because I did it the best. Harry is so lucky. Everyone knows him, everyone loves him; he's the saviour, the Boy who lived. He gets credit for everything he's done and a lot that others have done. He gets so many chances to fight bad guys and get the girl and make a difference. Sure, I get pulled along for the ride every once in a while, but I'm never the star. Why won't anyone acknowledge me? Why won't anyone listen to me. Why won't anyone look at me? Why?!?! LOOK AT ME!!!!!!

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I wish I wasn't a coward. I hate always being polite and nice and courteous. I hate not being able to haul off and hit someone if they insult me. No, I have to be practical. I can't let my temper get the better of me, I'm smarter than that. Life would be so much easier if people respected me, or were even scared of me. I could walk the halls without having to protect my books from vandals, or having to avoid legs stuck out to trip me in class. I wouldn't have to put up with insults about my heritage, my intellect, or my looks. No one would dare. Just once I'd like to make it through a school year without being called a name, beaver face, mudblood, even bookworm. Draco doesn't know how good he has it. No one trips him in class or makes fun of him for getting good grades. He can say whatever he wants and get away with it. He can punch a first year because he feels like it and Snape will turn away like nothing happened. I'm tired of being nice. I'm tired of responding with tact insults instead of punching the daylights out of someone. Why can't girls kick and punch? We have just as much rage as guys, but no, we're expcted to act mature and ignore cruel comments. What If I don't want to? Why can't I be vicious and harsh? Why won't they respect me? Why can't they? Be afraid, dammit! FEAR ME!!!!!

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I wish I could be nice. Not really super nice, no throwing petals around and hugging strangers, but nicer. I hate being feared. I hate it when first years squeal in terror when I come close. It makes me more mad so I'm even meaner to them. Why am I forced to be the leader of sadistic wierdo's? Life would be so much easier if people liked me. Not fear me, maybe not even respect me, but see me as a friend. Can't I be someone other than my father? Just once I'd like to make it through a school year without being compared to him. Hermione has the right idea. She's always surrounded by friends, she can hold a decent conversation with insulting anyone. She's nice. She laughs. I can't do that and I hate it. I want a friend. I want someone who likes me for me and not my money or my power or my connections. Why aren't I allowed to be loved? Why can't I stop insulting people for one second and let them see I'm not such a bad guy. I can't because I can't. I must be feared. I must uphold my honor and keep my damned father happy. I don't want to, I want to be nice and friendly and liked. Why not? Why can't I act like every other kid and flirt with who I like and hang out with who I like? Why can't I be liked?!? Like me! Like Me! LIKE ME!!!!!!!

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