Who Will Love You?
By: Teno Hikari
email: tenohikari@cs.com / teno_hikari@yahoo.com
* Disclaimers: Yami no Matsuei is owned by everyone 'but' me. However, if I had a choice, I would own Tsuzuki, Muraki, Tatsumi, Oriya... Oh what the hell ::runs off with all the bishounen::
* Summary: AU. Follows the Family Heirloom Arc... or squeezed between it, I guess. Whatever.
* Warning: yaoi (m/m), angst, implied suicide-homicide-sex, gore; you know the stuff that life is all about.
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Prologue
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He's watching you again.
Always watching when you return from your assignment or his father's bedroom. This time he keeps himself concealed in shadows, ducking his head when he thinks he's been spotted. You don't have to look at him to know that he's there. You sense him - smell him - taste him. Get a hold of yourself, he's just a child right now. Innocent little Kazutaka. You chuckle at the thought of how he would seethe at that comment.
His presence almost makes you smile on your way back to your quarters, moving like a shadow, undetected by the servants. Although it doesn't really matter; it's not like they care. They know who you are. Rumors spread like wildfire among the help. You aren't a friend nor a member of this wealthy and respectable family. Oh no, you - Tsuzuki Asato - are property.
As you approach your destination, you wonder if your master needs you now. Doubtful, he doesn't like to play when you've returned from his 'errand'. Not that you can blame him, you've gotten pretty messy on this one. Yes the rich black attire does hide the bloodstains, but it's coppery sent mingled with the stench of death is all around you.
Ironically, it 'is' you.
Once you're secured inside Muraki's gilded cage, that you call 'home', you're free to shed your 'work' clothes. Once the dark sun-glasses and gloves come off, you role up the sleeve of your shirt and stare. Ugly crisscross scars mar your wrist and force you to remember.
Blood. How much blood did you spill that day? Absently tracing the mark with one finger, your mind goes back and you try to remind yourself why this happened. The fingernail rakes deeper and you wince... and then smile.
'I cause myself pain... to prove that I still feel.' But you already know what you feel. Think again. 'I cause myself pain because I deserve it."
And?
'...I enjoy it.'
You can't deceive yourself anymore. Past experience in life have taught you a painful lesson, a wound that will never heal. So you relish this torment by letting Muraki do whatever he pleases. Soil your hands with blood as his assassin or eagerly crawl to bed as his whore; that's all he'll ever see you as. After all, who will ever love you, a descendent of darkness and an angel of death?
No one.
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Author's Notes
Okay this is actually a desperate attempt to pull me back into the YnM fandom once again. Really, I haven't wrote anything new for about... a year now? I really need a beta-reader, free invisible cookies!
As for the story, the second person POV in this story was inspired by one of Sarryn's 'By the Night: Control's Submission' (dark CarrotxZaha ficlet... God, I love that story) is actually Tsuzuki. The rest of the chapters will switch POVs... I haven't decided yet. Anyway, please - please - review!
By: Teno Hikari
email: tenohikari@cs.com / teno_hikari@yahoo.com
* Disclaimers: Yami no Matsuei is owned by everyone 'but' me. However, if I had a choice, I would own Tsuzuki, Muraki, Tatsumi, Oriya... Oh what the hell ::runs off with all the bishounen::
* Summary: AU. Follows the Family Heirloom Arc... or squeezed between it, I guess. Whatever.
* Warning: yaoi (m/m), angst, implied suicide-homicide-sex, gore; you know the stuff that life is all about.
-------------------------------
Prologue
-------------------------------
He's watching you again.
Always watching when you return from your assignment or his father's bedroom. This time he keeps himself concealed in shadows, ducking his head when he thinks he's been spotted. You don't have to look at him to know that he's there. You sense him - smell him - taste him. Get a hold of yourself, he's just a child right now. Innocent little Kazutaka. You chuckle at the thought of how he would seethe at that comment.
His presence almost makes you smile on your way back to your quarters, moving like a shadow, undetected by the servants. Although it doesn't really matter; it's not like they care. They know who you are. Rumors spread like wildfire among the help. You aren't a friend nor a member of this wealthy and respectable family. Oh no, you - Tsuzuki Asato - are property.
As you approach your destination, you wonder if your master needs you now. Doubtful, he doesn't like to play when you've returned from his 'errand'. Not that you can blame him, you've gotten pretty messy on this one. Yes the rich black attire does hide the bloodstains, but it's coppery sent mingled with the stench of death is all around you.
Ironically, it 'is' you.
Once you're secured inside Muraki's gilded cage, that you call 'home', you're free to shed your 'work' clothes. Once the dark sun-glasses and gloves come off, you role up the sleeve of your shirt and stare. Ugly crisscross scars mar your wrist and force you to remember.
Blood. How much blood did you spill that day? Absently tracing the mark with one finger, your mind goes back and you try to remind yourself why this happened. The fingernail rakes deeper and you wince... and then smile.
'I cause myself pain... to prove that I still feel.' But you already know what you feel. Think again. 'I cause myself pain because I deserve it."
And?
'...I enjoy it.'
You can't deceive yourself anymore. Past experience in life have taught you a painful lesson, a wound that will never heal. So you relish this torment by letting Muraki do whatever he pleases. Soil your hands with blood as his assassin or eagerly crawl to bed as his whore; that's all he'll ever see you as. After all, who will ever love you, a descendent of darkness and an angel of death?
No one.
-------------------------------
Author's Notes
Okay this is actually a desperate attempt to pull me back into the YnM fandom once again. Really, I haven't wrote anything new for about... a year now? I really need a beta-reader, free invisible cookies!
As for the story, the second person POV in this story was inspired by one of Sarryn's 'By the Night: Control's Submission' (dark CarrotxZaha ficlet... God, I love that story) is actually Tsuzuki. The rest of the chapters will switch POVs... I haven't decided yet. Anyway, please - please - review!
