TITLE: Christmas At The Office
AUTHOR: Vid Z.
TIMELINE: 2005
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show Stargate: SG-1 are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
SUMMARY: On Christmas during his first year at the Pentagon Jack receives a most surprising visitor.
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Sitting in his office in the Pentagon on Christmas Eve was not how Jack had imagined one year ago how he'd be spending it.
Back then he had expected to spend this year's Christmas like he'd done every year: with Daniel and Teal'c, to avoid the loneliness and emptiness of his own life. Carter always visited her brother during Christmas, something Jack had fully approved... family is important and we must never lose contact with them. The previous two Christmases she'd gone to San Diego with Pete and Jack had rightfully assumed that the strange couple of two people no-one would ever have expected to be together; would've been married by this Christmas.
Yet, too many times Jack had spent the holidays alone at home, his barren home, lacking any and all Christmas decorations, trying to drown ghosts of the past with copious amount of hard liquor. Then, at midnight he would leave a message on Sara's answering machine, letting her know he was still alive, knowing she was sitting by the phone, waiting for his call, but not picking up.
Never picking up.
She never did that and now that it was tradition he didn't mind anymore. The first time he'd called her had been that first Christmas after Charlie's death. After hours of psyching up to go ahead and send the bullet, he had specially modified for best effect, through his brains and end his misery, he had in the end decided against it, believing he deserved years of pain and suffering for killing his only child and destroying that child's mother. He knew that Sara knew what he was trying to get himself to do, which is why he knew she wouldn't be picking up the phone when it would ring. She didn't want to pick it up only to hear a police officer tell her her husband had offed himself. With time, that had become their tradition.
She sat by the phone, like she'd done so many thousands of days through the years before, and waited for his call. When he called she didn't pick up, just sat there in her airmchair, shedding silent tears, as he left his whispered message and then hung up without wishing her a merry Christmas. Just saying those words would've felt like twisting the knife in the wound, adding salt in liberal amounts. He knew he'd hurt Sara by not opening up and letting her in, but it had never been done intentionally. He still loved his wife, the first few years after their divorce he had still even been in love with her, there was no way he could bring himself to hurt her. Not by wishing her a merry Christmas. How could it even be merry when Charlie wasn't there with them to experience it?
They didn't talk on Christmas.
They talked on other occasions. The rest of SG-1 didn't know, but he was in regular contact with his ex-wife. She called him on New Year's, he called her for her birthday in February, for her father's in May, she called him for his in October, they met on Charlie's grave for both the boy's birthday and the day of his passing. They kept their tradition up even after she'd remarried. Steve was a good guy and Jack approved of him. What was more, he even liked him and the two men had forged a good friendship, quite uncommon for a husband and an ex-husband of a woman to do.
This year Jack was about to spend Christmas alone once again. Teal'c was off-world, Daniel was visiting his grandfather. With the old man being way up there in years Daniel wanted to spend as much time with him as he could while there still was time. And Carter was... who knew where she was, Jack sure didn't. Contrary to Jack's expectations and wishes nothing had happened between them after they'd been transferred out, even though they saw each other at least once a month (since she had to report to him on her department's progress). None of his invitations and tries to jump-start a relationship had worked, the cabin vacation had born no fruit with Sam being as distant as always, and now they were even more distant than they'd ever been. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. Truth was, they'd grown apart ever since Sam had started her sex-only affair with Pete, which had much later transformed into a relationship, which is when their distance had become a real thing. Another relationship down the drain, Jack had already resigned himself to the fact that there would never be anything between him and Sam.
Finally, years too late, he had realized it was time to move on.
But move on to what and with whom? Because he hadn't let go of Sam back then he had hurt an amazing woman, who'd been in love with him, not just loved him, and hadn't been afraid of showing it. After never believing he was capable of using someone as a rebound or a temporary stand-in until Carter was finally willing, he had done exactly that. He had never despised himself more and every time his mind's eye again showed him the pain in Kerry's eyes he hated himself even more.
By the time the knock on his door came Jack was well into another Christmas depression. Pathetically grateful for this unexpected visitor he called out, wondering who could it be "Enter."
To his surprise it was his personal assistant, a 27-year old Lieutenant, Clarissa Thomas.
Well, the term didn't exactly describe her role fully, Clarissa had been given to him to help him get what he needed or wanted when he'd been first assigned to this strange new city and had had no idea where everything was. She also acted as his yeoman when Sgt. Josie Ashmond was ill or had days off. The young woman was extremely capable and knew her way around town and around any obstacle she encountered. Had she been a man and assigned to a field unit, she would've doubtlessly been a 'scavenger' or 'organizator', men only the luckiest units possessed, men that could "procure" anything their unit needed. These men were extremely desired by units that had to go through appallingly slow and inefficient official channels to get needed supplies. And of course by the MPs...
"I thought I told you 5 hours ago to go home, Lieutenant." Jack reminded her, looking half-sternly down at his half-Calabrian-half-Cherokee assistant.
"You did, sir." she smiled, not in the least intimidated.
Jack shook his head. Just six months and already knew how to handle his attitude and snarkiness. The last woman, rest her soul, had needed about a year to accomplish that.
' Note to self: ask Thomas if she was related to Doc Fraiser. '
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Clarissa looked up at her boss with compassion and confusion in her heart. Here was one of the best men she knew (and also THE best looking one) and he was about to spend alone the holidays that emphasize the importance of family and friends.
Jack's manner was gruff, but beneath that skin of titanium everything was soft. He was a good boss, one of the best she'd worked for. He ruled with a strong fist, but he was fair. And he never pushed his people past their breaking point or demanded more than was allowed or needed. He never questioned or rejected day-off-requests, this was an office and not battlefield where a man less could cost them all their lives.
True, he expected only the best of his people, but that was because every last one of them was the best at what they did.
Everyone in the office knew what the project was about, even now, more than six months later, Clarissa could still hardly believe it was true, and some of the personnel had even been assigned to the SGC previously and had known the General for years, even while he'd still been a Colonel. O'Neill's XO, bird Colonel Louis Feretti, had actually been working with the General for more than 20 years by now.
With such a number of former SGC personnel working there, it hadn't taken long for the story of the General's ill-fated love for his former 2IC to reach Clarissa's ears. It could've been called a star-crossed-lovers story, or a modern Romeo and Juliet, but could not for the fact that Juliet had never gone to another man, but had been steadfast and faithful in her love for Romeo and, contrary to Carter, had not only tried to find a way for them to be together, but had also done everything she could've done for her and Romeo to have a chance. Something, sadly, Carter never had. Mixed with her anger at the older woman for hurting the General had also from the very start been a relief that the man wasn't officially taken, that she still had a chance, if she ever got up the courage.
Yet, with every passing month and consequent visit by the blond Lt Col, Clarissa noticed a bigger slump in the General's shoulders, the sparkle of life in his eyes duller and the glaze of resignation and hopelessness replacing it. Clearly, things with his paramour weren't going as he'd hoped, even though they were no longer in direct chain of command. Eddie, the General's driver, even reported that those two times the General and the Lt Col had gone on a date, the Lt Col had not wanted to ride with the General and had rather called a taxi to and from the restaurant.
While her heart was breaking for the man she'd come to love, Clarissa was hating herself for feeling happiness and relief he was still single.
Having overheard his talk to Teal'c and Dr Jackson on the phone, she knew he'd be alone for Christmas and had, obviously correctly, assumed the lonely General would spend the holiday at the office rather than going to his empty townhouse.
Like a good soldier, she was to achieve her goal by making an assault when her target was the most vulnerable. Her professors at the OCS would've been proud...
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"Then what are you doing here?"
She held up a manila folder she'd taken with her in case he asked her exactly this "I forgot something and saw the light in your office. So I decided to come and check it out."
Jack frowned "You are working on Christmas Eve?" the disapproval was clear in his voice. "Don't you have better plans for tonight?" the words were gruff and even offending, but the tone in which they'd been delivered was not, Jack's care for his subordinates coming through.
She barely stopped herself from pointing out she'd found him in his office. Instead she recognized this for the opening she'd been waiting for, for months. "No, sir, I haven't. And what is your excuse for not having any plans for the evening?"
Internally she winced at questioning her boss so freely, but, she consoled herself, it was for a good end. If this worked neither of them would be lonely ever again.
Jack's eyebrows rose as he took in the younger woman's retort. He was about to berate her, but she crossed her arms over her chest, widened her stance and stuck her chin out defiantly. He gave up, knowing he wouldn't be achieving anything. Besides, there had to be something more behind Clarissa's sudden attitude, she had never been insubordinate, and he had a feeling he'd find out what this was all about if he let it go. Curious as to what was going on, Jack did just that.
"Well, Danny is with his grandfather, T is off-world, Feretti is with his wife and kids..." he stopped there, a thoughtful expression taking over "Who would've thought that Louis would ever get married and have a family... Good on him, though." his eyes then cleared and again focused on his subordinate standing before him.
Suddenly she grew nervous, apprehension suddenly taking her over "Um... since I have no plans and you have no plans... what do you say to spending the evening together?" watching his eyebrows climb she realized Jack assumed she only wanted an affair with him, so she hurried to reassure the man "Don't worry, sir, I'm not the type to put out on the first date. Or even the third. I first have to be deep into a serious relationship with the man before I have sex."
The truth worked and Jack's brow cleared.
"I just meant, dinner together. We could go out or I could cook something..."
Baffled, Jack realized this lovely young woman was actually asking him, an ancient old relic,out on a date, and from what she's told him, it wasn't about finding someone to get her rocks off.
He was glad she hadn't betrayed his belief in her and turned out shallow, the type to do one night stands and pick up men for only sex. There are too few young people nowadays that are like Clarissa. And the stories you hear about Colleges... orgies, drinking, depraved and immoral behaviour, out of control parties fit for Ancient Romans at the height of their decadency and debauchery,...
Clarissa wasn't an Academy graduate, she'd gone to OCS after University of Kansas, her home-state. And the fact that she'd studied as hard as she had, graduating among the top 5 of her class, and had not fallen prey to various cliques on the campus, engaging in their past-times, was a credit to her character, personality, integrity, honor and virtue. Another reason he liked and respected her and because he liked and respected her he knew he knew he had to say no, but he would have to tread lightly. He'd be breaking her heart as it was, he didn't want to cause any more damage than he had to.
"I'm 30 years older than you." was the first objection he thought of and he felt it was necessary to make the situation clear to her. She was young, this crush she had on him would disappear soon. At least, so he thought.
She obviously disagreed with his assessment of the situation. "Not 30." she had the audacity to roll her eyes "Only 21, sir."
"Still old enough to be your father." he interrupted.
He could see he was starting to piss her off. Her dark chocolate eyes became black and thunderbolts shot from them, her bronze-skinned face flushed and she spread her legs to give her better stability, as if preparing for a fight. Blowing her nearly black hair out of her eyes she regarded him for a second.
"But you AREN'T my father." stressing out the word she sent him a fierce glare when he was about to make another comment.
"Look, sir..." thinking it was best she decided to nip any further protests in the bud "Yes, you're older, but you're not my father. Truthfully, I'm not into older men, my previous boyfriends were all the same age as I, so I don't have any Daddy-issues/Electra Complex/Authority Figure Fixation, or whatever you'd like to call it. I'm not wanting to be with you out of some twisted reason like getting a confirmation from you I wanted from my father, or anything else sick like that. I see you and want you for the person you are and nothing else. And it's not a crush... I'm not a teenager. I'm old enough to recognize it for what it is. I respect you and I sincerely like you and I want to get to know you better." seeing Jack was about to add something she glared and cut him off "In a private manner, sir, off-duty."
"I'm also your CO..." Jack finally reminded her of what he believed was the most valid reason against it.
"I'm not under your command, sir." she shot his argument down immediately "General Jumper is my commanding officer, I'm only being loaned out to you. And this loan period ended today when you sent me home, btw.. The deal was 6 months, after my vacation ends after New Year's I'm going back to work for the General."
Jack was quiet for so long she was starting to get afraid of his answer "You sure?" Jack finally squinted.
She didn't know what he was asking her. Was she sure about her chain of command or was she sure about him?
Either way, there was only one answer.
"Yes, sir!"
Jack shook his head and chuckled at the young woman's enthusiasm. Well, if she was sure...
"Then stop calling me 'sir'. If anyone overhears you they will think we're into dominance/submission or something."
Clarissa smiled in obvious relief, having held her breath for the last half-minute in the fear he'd reject her. She didn't know how she would've survived that.
For a moment Jack was afraid she might jump into his arms or something like that, but was proven yet again that his young assistant, erm ex-assistant-now-dinner-date, was much more mature than others her age and definitely more than he'd given her credit for.
Getting to know her better might not be such a bad idea after all, there were obviously depths to her that might be quite attractive.
"Okay, then wait for me outside, I'll be just a second."
Nodding she left his office, smiling all the way.
After shutting everything down and securing his office, Jack joined Clarissa in the ante-office.
Looking into the young woman's eyes sparkling from happiness, Jack himself felt joy and surprise at being able to make a person happy just by agreeing to spend time with her.
Nodding to her, they turned as one and walked off towards a better life.
THE END
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