Hey guys, this story is loosely based on the popular American sitcom 'How I Met Your Mother'. For all those that know it, the series ended last month. So I actually thought that one can actually adapt the tv series into SAO. I do see potential in Klein being similar to Barney. However, I don't I will changing much of the SAO characters personalities to suit like those of the cast. I hope you guys enjoy this prologue, this is my first time writing comedy. I'm not exactly an expert in it but it was worth a shot!

Disclaimers: I do not own Swords Art Online, not any of it's characters and story ideas. Furthermore I do not own 'How I Met Your Mother', all credits are due to their respective creators.


How I Met Your Father

14th October 2048

"So kids, today I'm going to tell you an amazing story. A story of how I met your father. "

Aoi rolled his eyes. "Are we being punished?"

"No. Just Listen."

Karin looked up momentary before returning focus to her phone, while her brother stretched out his legs and planted them on top the coffee table in front of him.

Wow, we didn't do a good job of raising these kids. Aren't other children more respectful to their parents?

"Well, it began during the time when I was stuck in the death game, Sword Art Online…"


2nd December 2022

The sword skill Linear pierced through the Kobold's Sentry which exploded into myriads of polygons moments later. I sheathed my iron rapier, quietly admiring the silent beauty of the destruction of the mob. The cold labyrinth inhabited by hundreds of these creatures emitting a distinct hush, as though in congratulations to my victory.

It was the third straight day since I had entered the dungeon, continues fighting without rest, except in between the respawn timer. I do not know when the last I ate. The more tired I felt the more I pushed myself to go faster. It's only a game. There are no limits.

"That was impressive." A male voice behind me broke the silence.

Oh no, not another one…

I spun in 180 degrees, drawing my rapier from its resting place. I darted straight towards the unknown figure, my choice of weapon glow a faint green as Linear activated. My body felt as though I was being pushed by a hand behind, increased in speed, a few meters away from the stranger I thrust forward my right arm.

The tip of my blade barely missed, only by a few milliseconds of reaction speed.

"Whoa! Hold on, it wasn't an insult!"

"How long have you been watching me?"

"Umm… For the past two hours I think. But it's n-"

I jumped at him before he could finished, throwing a wild shot at his chest. He quickly side step me, causing me to lose my balance and stumbled on to the hard labyrinth ground. The rough texture brushed against my bare skin as I scrambled to get up.

"Don't come close to me!" I said, keeping the distance between us separated by my rapier.

He took a step back, arms raised in the air.

"Look lady, my hormones are in check. I mean no harm."

I glared at him; he was wearing all black, a black cloak, black pants and a black shirt. Clearly signs of someone with malicious intents or is just emo.

"What do you want?"

"I just want to say that you are really good."

Is this all he has to say after watching me for the past two hours?

I studied his face, a baby face, but I could tell he was around my age. His innocent smile eased my worry a bit; it was not a smile a pedophile would make. I relaxed my stance, returning my rapier to its scabbard, dusted some dirt off my red skirt.

"To beat this game, you have to be more than good."

He nodded at my response. We continued to exchange glances of each other's eyes, creating an extremely awkward silence. It was as if both of us were seeking to scour for information of the other with just our bare vision.

Grugurgrpgurrghghghg. My cheeks flushed red at the rumble that originated from my abdominal area. I clutched my stomach while attempting to avoid eye contact with the other player.

He nearly burst out laughing but hastily covered his mouth with his hand, however a mischievous snicker escaped.

"Here." He said, pressing his middle and index fingers together to drag down the translucent menu. A piece of black bread materialized in his hand after several taps. "Take it."

I shook my head whose colour was still similar to that of a radish.

"The Kobolds are about to respawn, I have no time to eat."

I pivoted my back to him.

The temperature suddenly exploded as my arms felt wobbly as they fell to my sides, a heavy weight sensation fell onto my shoulders as my knee gave way and plunged into the tough ground. Darkness faded in…


My eyes fluttered open to large tree branches covering most of the clear morning sky or roof of the first floor. Some generic birds were chirping; they weren't mobs, just SAO's way of imitating the great outdoors. I slowly pulled myself up into a sitting position, the sharp grass poking my bare skin.

"Good Morning."

My neck sharply twisted to find same player that I encountered yesterday. He was reclining against the base of a sycamore tree about seven metres away from me, his sheathed sword laid beside his left arm.

"Why didn't you abandon me?"

"It would have been a waste of map information."

What's with this guy?

His gentle smile contrasted my frown.

"Anyways," he continued. "After you fell asleep, I just did whatever I wanted."

My iron rapier was already drawn, almost piercing where his heart would be. The several metres that was supposed to be between us, disappeared in a seconds flash.

"UWAH!?"

"NO… NOTHING! I DID NOTHING!" His arms again raised in the air, the flames that surrounding my body instigated his face to pour out sweat like Niagara.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BODY?!"

"I SWEAR I DID NOTHING TO TAMPER YOUR HONOR!"

A scene of a hand groping my private and sensitive parts flashed in my mind briefly. My hands trembled violently, nearly dropping my instrument of punishment. I supported my arm with the other to remedy.

"D-DON'T YOU DARE LIE TO ME! When you were looking for that map data- you must have done things to my body… like those things…"

"I'M INNOCENT!"

His anxiety level must have shot through the roof; his eyes permanently widened as his mouth continues in vain to defend what his teenage body may or may not have done.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

I cocked my arm backwards, full of killer intent of striking the perverted heart out of this body of polygons that lies before me.

Grugurgrpgurrghghghg.

He collapsed in laughter, completely forgetting that he was mere moments away from death. My ears burned red hot as red spots again flared my cheeks.

"It's just a game. It's just a game." I angrily mumbled to myself, while punching my stomach as though it was a punching bag.

"AHAHAha I forgot that you still haven't eaten yet." The same black bread manifested in his off hand. "You should read eat first."

Not refusing the offer this time, I stretched forth my left arm and received the bread, making myself comfortable on the grass. The dark texture of the bread, made me wonder whether it was burnt or fungi had decided to reside in it.

"I doubt this will taste any good."

"You got to put some work into."

"Hmm?"

"Here." He shoved a jar beneath my nose. A soft scent of milk aroused my sense of smell.

"Cream?" I hurriedly applied the contents of the jar onto my bread.

Without any further moment of hesitation, my iron clad jaws clobbered the bread into submission, which it willingly submit to be transported for digestion (although I doubt digestion happens in the game).

My eyelids relaxed as the nourishment mingled in my mouth. The creamy smoothness blended more than well with the hard layer of black crust. I could feel my taste buds tingling for more, while my mind traced back to the real world. Am I back?

"Do you want another?"

It's only a game.

"No enough. It's not like I tried so hard just to eat delicious food."

Our eyes locked on with each other. My heart beat faster. A drop of sweat slide down my temple.

I lifted myself up, breaking eye contact as I turned away from him. I could still sense that his eyes were still fixed on my back.

"Besides, I want something else." I said, turning to face him again.

He raised an eyebrow.

"What is it?"

"Your name."

He couldn't help himself but chuckled at the request.

"It's Kirito."

"Well Kirito-kun, I'm Asuna. It's a pleasure to meet you!"


I hope you guys did enjoy. Please leave constructive criticism in the reviews, I really do need them. Also if you guys have suggestion on how I can implement the humor better in my writing that will be awesome. Thank You!