Just a little one shot for the holidays. Hope you guys like it!
The long, winding road to Storybrooke seemed neverending in the dark night, although Emma Swan was closer to town than she wanted to be. She rarely made it home for Thanksgiving, but she always came home for Christmas. David and Mary Margaret wouldn't allow her to miss that holiday. She's never hated Storybrooke, in fact she loves it. It was the first place that felt like home to her. She just couldn't live there after everything that happened there. She had to get away, to be somewhere on her own for awhile. Neal broke her heart and tried to have her to take the fall for his crime, but she didn't. Thankfully the Sheriff was able to see through Neal's obvious set up and let her go. Ever since then it had been hard to be in Storybrooke, but over the years the pain has started to fade. She hasn't been in a relationship since then either. There was never anyone who was worth the risk.
After high school she left and went to college, from there she went to law school. What she wanted the most was to make sure the justice system wasn't failing those who needed the most. What happened to her didn't happen to everyone; innocent people don't always go free. She wants to be sure when someone got arrested and went to jail that they are truly meant to be there. That the criminals went to jail for their crimes and the trial was fair. Now she's swamped with cases in the district attorney's office day in and out. At first it was about serving justice, but now more than ever it seemed to be less about that and more about how many cases she won. In fact she wouldn't be surprised if someone in the office had a tally going on at that current moment. So busy that even today she wasn't able to leave her office until late on Christmas Eve. Her work was important and she didn't really have a life outside of that, but that's how she wanted it, how she liked it. Well that's how she liked it until recently. Emma has missed her family and friends and she felt like she was missing out on something they all had. Really she missed him, but she always missed him.
Emma finally crosses the town line and it's like nothing has changed. The same old Storybrooke, same stores, and the one traffic light that many in town ignored anyway. Emma isn't quite ready to head to David and Mary Margaret's house, so she parks her car in front of the only bar in town, The Jolly Roger. She knows it's his place, but he probably won't be there on Christmas Eve. Liam's probably got him in some ridiculous, ugly Christmas sweater drinking eggnog by the fire or something like that, there may be chestnuts involved. Hell she's just hoping the bar is open, but deep down she wants to see him too. She'll have to wait to see him tomorrow if he's not here tonight. He might be one who she's missed the most, but she'd never admit that to anyone. Sure enough the bar is open and all the regulars are still there. Some recognize her and wave. She gives them polite wave and turns her attention to the bar.
Killian Jones is standing there with a smirk on his face, pouring her some whisky. She takes her place on the barstool in front of him. Fuck, he looks good, he always looks good. Tight black jeans, a black button up shirt, and a black vest never looked better on him.
Killian sucks a deep breath in when she walks through the door. She's a breath of fresh air and my god is she beautiful. She's in a suit that is crumpled and wrinkled from the drive he suspects, but damn she still takes his breath away, she always has.
"You remembered," she teases him and he just shakes his head.
"Swan, I could never forget you. Hardly been in town a day and you already need to escape your brother and his happy wife?" he asks skeptical.
"I haven't seen them yet, I just got in," she explains before taking a sip.
"I'm honored you came here first," he teases her as he wipes down the bar.
"I'm surprised you're here on Christmas Eve. I thought Liam would have dragged you into some sort of family event," she comments, ignoring his.
"Ah well there was something earlier, but as soon as the children were asleep I slipped away."
"I knew Liam wouldn't have let you off so easy," Emma smiles, thinking of Liam, Killian's older brother. Liam is the same age as David, so really she grew up with two older brothers always watching out for her. Some could even call them overbearing at times.
Liam loved Christmas with all its traditions and never let them miss any of them when they were younger. As they got older and had careers some of the traditions slipped, but never Christmas traditions it seemed as those were set in stone.
"How is work? How is Boston?" he asks her, curious as to why she came here first before heading home.
"Work's fine, Boston is the same," she shrugs and he can tell when she's lying. She's always been an open book to him.
"Come now, Swan you're going to have to come up with a better lie than that. Even David will be able to see through that one and he has a pretty thick skull," he smirks.
"Cheeky bastard, how'd you know?" she smiles.
"You're an open book, love. I always know when you're lying," he shrugs and they share a lingering gaze, which Emma breaks first by looking at her glass before bringing it to her lips.
"My work doesn't feel the same. Everything feels like a competition. It's how much work you do and how many cases you win, not that you got closure for a victim's family or that the criminal was put away. I just don't know if it's what I want anymore," she sighs.
"What do you want Emma?" He asks her a meaningful look in his piercing blue eyes.
"Hell if I know," she mumbles. She was hoping that here, at home, she could figure out what she want her next move to be, but being here and seeing him made one thing for certain she knew she didn't want to go back to Boston.
"You'll figure it out you always do," he says before walking away to tend to another customer. Her phone rings and she picks it up.
"Merida, why are you calling? It's Christmas Eve," Emma answers the phone.
"The Dawson case, the judge called he made his decision," her associate council tells her.
"Shit, he said there wouldn't be a decision tonight. What the hell happened?!" she snaps.
"I have no clue, but he wants us to meet in his chambers in an hour," Merida says worry in her voice.
"I'm not in town. You'll have to go and put me on speakerphone," Emma sad running a hand through her hair. She left town because the judge said he wouldn't decide until after the holiday.
"I don't think he'll like that," she comments as Killian makes his way back over to her.
"I don't give a damn what he likes. This is what he gets for asking us to come in on Christmas Eve," she says mad as hell.
"Alright I'll call you when I get there," Merida says and Emma hangs up on her.
"Need another drink?" Killian asks.
"No, I have to talk to a judge in under an hour best if I'm sober," she says sitting up a little straighter.
"I don't think I've ever seen you like this," he comments as he passes her a glass of water.
"Like what?" she asks as she raises an eyebrow.
"As a lawyer," he says as she sweeps her hair up into a messy bun. It reminds him of all the days they spent studying in high school. Some things never change with them. Her eager and ready to get to work, him just happy to be spending time with her.
"When I'm home I don't usually need to be one. Besides most of my time is spent being one it's nice to come here and just be Emma, not Assistant District Attorney Swan," she explains.
"I suppose, but it suits you nonetheless. Fighting for justice and all that," he shrugs. Over the course of the next hour Killian watches Emma prepare for the phone call, which she picks up on the first ring. The ruling was one that was going to make her job easier for once and she was fully prepared to fight the douchebag of a defense attorney, but she didn't have to the judge made sure of that.
"We will pick this back up after the new year," the judge concludes and Emma hopes he sticks to his word this time. She signs off the call telling Merida to spend some well deserved time with her family. Killian sets a new glass of whisky down in front of her.
"That sounded like good news, celebrate a little, Swan," he says.
"It was although I want to wring that Judge's neck for not letting me enjoy my holiday away from work," she sighs, releasing her hair from the bun. Her golden hair cascades down her back and across her shoulders.
"It sounds like you don't enjoy your job anymore," Killian says.
"Maybe I don't," she shrugs, "Enough about me, what's new with you, Jones?"
"You know me I like the quiet life. Running the bar and sailing when I can is enough," he confirms what she suspected. Oh by the way I've been in love with you since we were kids fancy running away into the sunset with me? He adds on inside his head. A long time ago he realized she was the one for him, but their timing always off or she wasn't around. He could never bring it up to her because she scared easily and if he told her how he truly felt well she'd likely run off without so much as a backward glance. He never wanted to risk it. He couldn't risk losing her.
"Hmm do you ever change, Jones?" she teases him.
"No," he grunts and watches how Emma lights up with laughter at his response. She finishes her drink and places some cash on the bar.
"It's been fun, Jones. I'll be around for awhile, but I'll see you tomorrow," she smiles as she heads out into the dark, cold night. Will Scarlet walks up to the bar after Emma's departure looking for another drink.
"Are you ever going to do something about that or just be a miserable, fool for the rest of your life?" Will asks while Killian pours his drink.
"Scarlet, mind your business," Killian says as he passes him the drink. Will shrugs.
"Miserable fool it is then," he smirks then walks away from the bar and Killian just shakes his head, not knowing how to deal with Emma Swan.
Emma gets in her bug and heads to David and Mary Margaret's. She had to get out of there. Things were getting dangerous, another couple of drinks who knows what would've come spilling out of her mouth. Especially the fact that she has been in love with Killian for so long now. He doesn't need to know that. If he had ever felt anything for her she would've known by now, he would've made some sort of move, but he never did. Killian never seemed interested in her in that way. It took her a long time to accept that she would probably always love him and there was nothing she could do about it. He didn't feel the same about her, but there was one time before law school where she could've sworn that he was going to kiss her, but they were interrupted and nothing happened. That moment made her wonder how he felt about her. She couldn't exactly say I've been in love with you for an embarrassingly long time do you feel the same way about me or have I ruined everything between us? No matter how much she wanted to. Especially on nights like tonight where he looks devilishly handsome and the buzz from the whisky is urging her to act on her impulses, urging her to pull him in for a kiss and take him to bed finally. No. No. She absolutely cannot do that. Their families celebrate holidays together, she couldn't risk that they wouldn't work out and then see him at the Christmas dinner table. No, they are better off as friends.
Emma cannot be thinking about Killian anyway she has to figure out what the hell to do with her job, her future. There is this nagging voice in her head telling her to leave Boston all together and come home, but that's unrealistic what would she do here? She would be bored out of her skull. It wouldn't work, no matter how much she wanted it to. No matter how much she wanted to be closer to her family and friends.
She parks the car in front of her brother's house and admires the lights that David put up this year. Each year he always seems to out do what he did last year. Emma uses her key to slip in the front door and see that Mary Margaret has decorated every available space in the house. She shakes her head at the extravagance that her sister in law and friend always achieves. Emma locks the door and takes her bag up to the guest room laid out for her. She barely manages to take off her suit jacket before she crawls into bed and falls sound asleep.
Christmas day is a very big deal in the Nolan household. Everyone is up at the crack of dawn. Well more accurately, Emma is dragged out of bed and David makes sure she has coffee before she can say a word about it.
"I didn't even hear you come in last night, when did you get here?" David asks. Mary Margaret comes down the stairs with their newborn child in her arms.
"Somewhere around one or two. I was up with Leo when she snuck in," Mary Margaret smiles as Emma looks down on her nephew.
"My god he is the cutest kid," Emma smiles down on him. He sticks one of his tiny tiny hands out from his blanket and Emma lets him grab onto one of her fingers.
"Yes, my son is very cute, but answer our questions. It couldn't have taken you that long to get here," David says suspicious. Leo lets go of her finger and Mary Margaret sits in the chair next to Emma.
"I wasn't that tired when I got here, so I went to the Jolly Roger," she shrugs and sips her coffee.
"How's Killian?" Mary Margaret asks and David begins to make pancakes.
"The same you know he never changes." Mary Margaret and David exchange a significant look, "What?" Emma asks.
"Oh nothing. Tell us about you and your work. We hardly hear about it anymore," Mary Margaret changes the subject.
"It's always busy," she sighs.
"You don't sound happy about it," David comments while flipping a pancake.
"I need to find a new job, I just can't keep doing this anymore. No one cares about the victims or giving the criminals a fair trial. They just want to win and if you don't want to win you're weak. I don't know what else I could do."
"You should come home," David says flat out, no beating around the bush. He was never one for subtlety.
"David, what would she do here?" Mary Margaret asks looking confused.
"There is a job here that would be perfect for her. Look I was talking with the district attorney out here, you know the tri-county one. There isn't really a need for a full time in Storybrooke alone, the three surrounding counties share one. He's got to be close to eighty and wants to retire," he says as he places plates full of pancakes in front of the two women. David grabs his own plate and joins them. Emma mulls this over in her mind. It would be good work, better than the scorekeeping she's doing now.
"I don't know," she shrugs still unsure.
"She has a life in Boston. I would be hard to leave her friends behind," Mary Margaret says and David rolls his eyes. He won't say it, but he knows she doesn't have friends outside of a few people at work.
"I know you, Em. The fact you haven't said no means you're considering it. Just think it over," her brother says kindly. She nods, but glares at him the same time, he can't think she's gone soft all the sudden. He just chuckles and continues eating his pancakes.
The rest of Christmas morning goes by without a hitch. Smiles and opening of presents under the tree. The three of them bought entirely too much for a baby under a year old, but frankly none of them could help themselves.
Later in the day the Jones clan comes over while David and Mary Margaret are arguing over who makes the best mashed potatoes. Liam and his wife, Elsa, are followed in by their charming children Jack and Nora. Killian walks in last, but not least with his arms full of presents. Emma directs him to the tree and helps him set down the gifts under the tree. Even with all the presents they opened this morning there still isn't a lot of room because Mary Margaret simply loves buying kids toys.
"Do you think we have enough presents?" Killian jokes.
"Don't say that to Mary Margaret; she'll run out and buy another toy," she says semi-serious. Killian just shakes his head. They walk back into the kitchen but are shooed away by both married couples insisting that they have everything under control. Killian and Emma drink eggnog by the fire.
"God I would kill for a cigarette right now," Killian says in a hushed tone.
"I thought you quit," she states.
"I did, but bloody hell holidays always make me want to smoke. Elsa caught me this morning trying to sneak away to get a pack," he shrugs. Emma chuckles.
"I'm sure she gave you the lecture of a lifetime," she nudges his shoulder.
"Aye."
"What's so bad about the holidays? There's always good food, good wine, and family," she says with this twinkle in her eyes.
"Aye all those things are great, but suppose the family bit makes me more on edge."
"What about your family makes you on edge?" She has this tone of indignation in her voice. Her brow furrows at his statement. She knows he has something that is weighing heavy on him, but she can't tell what.
My god he looks at her and can tell she has no idea how he feels about her. How being in the same room with her makes him want her more and more each time she's here. How in the bar last night he wanted to reach over the bar and kiss her senseless. How her beauty takes his breath away. How he would do anything for her. He can't keep this in any longer. She has to know.
"Seeing you," he says looking at her directly.
"Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean?" Emma snaps getting defensive. Her shoulders becoming tense.
"Because when you're here it just means you're going to leave again and I hate when you leave," his voice tinted with sadness. She doesn't understand what the hell he's going on about. Does he not want to see her anymore? She stands up in a hurry. She has to get away from here. The possibility that he may not want to be in her life is too much.
"Maybe it would just be easier if I never came back," she snaps and walks out. She doesn't even pay attention to her family in the kitchen and storms out the front door.
Shit, that is not how he wanted this to go. Killian could never find the right words to say to her. He jumps up and goes out after her.
"Dammit, Emma." he calls out after her. He's not far behind her when the front door shuts. He wrenches it back open and chases after her. The door slams shut behind him.
-CS-
"Should we go…?" David asks, nodding towards the front door.
"No, I think Killian's doing what he should have long ago. Let them work it out," Elsa says with an all too knowing look.
"Finally," Liam snorts, while pulling the ham out of the oven.
-CS-
"Emma," her name falls out of his mouth. She's standing on the far end of the porch with her back to him.
"When you stop being my friend? When did you want to stop seeing me?" she almost barks out at him. Not seeing him anymore might just crush her. Hell, it will kill her. She crosses her arms and looks at him waiting for an answer.
"Bloody hell, Swan. That's not what I was trying to say! I don't want you to leave because I want you to be here. I hate it when you leave because I don't want you to go. I never stopped wanting to see you, in fact I want to see you all the time. Because I love you and I have since we were young. I don't think I'll ever stop loving you," Killian admits. It's like her world stops. He loves her? Killian Jones loves her?
"What?" she says not believing him or this moment. He steps closer to her and all she can do is stand there in shock. He stops when he's right in front of her.
"Emma Swan, I'm in love with you." She grabs him by the front of his shirt and pulls him in close. His lips crash against hers. One of his hands is in her hair and one on her hip, pulling her closer. The kiss feels urgent, like if it ends it will never happen again. Eventually it slows down when they both realize the other one isn't going anywhere. When they finally come up for air they are both shivering from the cold air.
"You never said anything," she almost whispers, her forehead touching his.
"Neither did you," he whispers back. They pull back and his hand slips easily into hers.
"What do we do now?" she asks.
"We'll figure it out as we go and get inside, it's fucking freezing out here," Killian says leading her into the house. When they enter their family and friends are waiting for an explanation. Upon seeing their linked hands Elsa nudges Liam.
"I told you they needed to work it out," Elsa says with a smirk on her face. Emma blushes at this and everyone immediately has million questions. They did not think about this at all. They don't have any of these answers. She knows she loves him and he loves her, but other than yet they don't know how any of this is going to work. Emma looks to Killian a little panicked and he squeezes her hand.
"I haven't even taken the lass on a date yet, so stop with the questions alright. How's dinner coming along?" Killian asks as casually as possible. Everyone drops the topic and rushes back into setting the table. Emma takes plates from Mary Margaret when Leo starts crying. She needs to do something to take her mind off what just happened. She needs a minute to process it.
Once they're alone again Killian approaches her, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"Are you alright, darling?" he asks, concerned.
"I'm-" she's about to say fine, but that's not true at all, "processing everything. I'm not going anywhere. I just didn't think about the logistics of this. I didn't even think of what to say to them." she shakes her head.
"Don't worry about it right now. I promise we will work it out. Try to enjoy dinner," he smiles at her. She nods not knowing what to say to him. In those few minutes on the porch everything changed between them. For the better she hopes.
The rest of the day goes by smoothly. The food is good as always and the couple glasses of wine she has helps her calm down a bit. The gift exchange is fun as always. The kids make a small mountain out of all the wrapping paper.
When the kids grow tired is when everyone heads out. Before Killian leaves he pulls Emma aside.
"I would like to talk about us, is tomorrow alright? I know it's been a long day," he says in a hushed tone.
"Yeah I would like that. I'll come by before you open the jolly?" she asks and he nods.
"Aye, I'll be waiting." His lips brush across her cheek and causes her to blush ever so slightly. After the door shuts behind them Mary Margaret turns to her.
"So Killian?" she asks with a smile. David on the other hand looks a little grumpy.
"Um yeah," Emma says, unsure where this is going.
"I'm glad you guys admitted your feelings for each other. I think you'll both be a lot happier," her friend smiles.
"You knew?" David scoffs at this comment.
"Ems everyone knew about both of you. I'm surprised that you two didn't know about it. You two weren't being sneaky about it at all." He begins with the dirty dishes and Emma picks up a rag and helps him.
"You guys never said anything," she says.
"Well you never confirmed our suspicions. We were waiting for you to come to us," Mary Margaret shrugs.
"We knew about Killian though. He told me one night after too much rum," David says handing her another plate, which she dries.
"Just after you started law school," Mary Margaret says. Emma just nods. God, they had so much to figure out. Emma changes the subject after that she needed to talk about something else.
-CS-
It's the middle of the night and she can't sleep, she tosses and turns. Finally she gives up on sleeping altogether. The situation with Killian is bothering her too much. For hours now she's tried to think of literally anything else, but she keeps coming back to him. She gets up and stuffs her feet into some boots and throws on her jacket. Emma jumps in her yellow bug and heads to Killian's apartment above the Jolly Roger. The bar closed hours ago, but many years ago he gave her a key in case she ever needed to see him after hours. Really that should've been a sign he loved her, but apparently she was blind. They both were. She makes sure to lock the door behind her. She makes her way behind the bar and to the small staircase in the back. When she reaches his door. She collects herself before knocking loudly, hoping that will wake him up. A few minutes later a sleepy, shirtless Killian opens the door.
"What the bloody hell do you-" he finally sees her, "Swan?"
"I know it's late, but I couldn't sleep and I was thinking about us and I couldn't wait until tomorrow," she says in a rush and he chuckles.
"All right, come in," he opens the door wide for her and she bustles in. He leads them to the couch. They both take a seat, Killian still looks like he's half asleep.
"What is it that's bothering you so much?" he asks her.
"On Christmas Eve you asked me what I wanted and I said I didn't know," she says.
"Aye, I remember," he says prompting her to continue.
"I know what I want, now. I want you. I love you and I don't want to be far from you. I don't want to stay in Boston, I hate my job and you have the bar. I want to come home and be with you," she says looking into his deep blue eyes. She blinks and he's pulling her into his arms. This kiss is so different from their first. It's soft, gentle, and loving. She slides onto his lap, closing any existing gap between them. He pulls back and tucks a piece of her hair behind her ear.
"I would do anything to be with you, love. You don't have to move," he tells her.
"I want to. There's nothing for me in Boston. Everything I want is here. Besides you can't leave the Jolly where would everyone in this town get a drink," she teases.
"Aye, that is true; the town would run dry. You're sure about this?" His fingers finding their way into her hair.
"Definitely, it's been a long time coming," she nods. She kisses him again, god she could kiss him all day with lips like his. Something switches in the kiss it becomes passionate and raw. Like nothing else matters in this world, but them in this moment. Her hands tug on his hair and he groans. He wraps his arms around her and holds onto her tight as he stands up. She wraps his legs around his waist. All the while they never break apart, it feels like they are trying to make up for lost time. All the years they could've been doing this.
Killian kicks the door to his room open and she knows everything will be alright with him by her side.
The next morning Emma wakes up curled into Killian's chest, sunlight streaming in through an open window. With nowhere to be she smiles and snuggles further into his chest. Killian hums waking up slowly his arms tightening around her waist. His lips brush against her forehead.
"Good morning, love," he mutters, his voice thick and deep from sleep.
"Good Morning indeed," she smiles. Emma would have no problem waking up next to Killian Jones for the rest of her days.
