MY FINAL LEXIS
BY: Lorenz Aimee D. Mutia
I heard a knock.
Someone opens the door.
As I open my eyes, I saw my mom, who was with a nurse.
.
Death is near
I was adopted, from an orphanage. My parents can't have a kid of their own and it was my mom who decided to adopt me. She loved me like her own. My dad was furious. When he asked my mom to choose over me or him, Mom, with no second thought, chose me. My dad decided to leave us, and never came back. Mom was with me since then, and raised me with her family. Mom is a doctor, so there was no problem with the financial aspects. I was given everything I wanted, and they filled my childhood memories with love and happiness. But it was shattered, when it's time for me to go my own way.
I'll carry on.
I went to a private school where I branded everyone as a freak. They're all like me, minus the misery I've experienced when I was there. Wealth is a basis for having friends. Family background for them was a big deal. Academic setting was a big issue. The only thing like about me is my physical appearance. I strongly disagree with them, and that caused them to hate me so much. There came a time that I punched a classmate, because he won't stop teasing me. I remember walking out of class, in a verge of tears because I shouted at my teacher. I take into account how many times I sat in the bench outside the discipline office.
I hear the call.
"Why did you do that?" Mom was screeching at the phone.
"No big deal Mom. I'm only suspended." I was smirking.
"Answer me, Perse. Are you doing this on purpose?"
"Why would I do that Mom?"
"…"
" I'll make sure, it's never going to happen again Mom."
"…"
"Bye Mom. I LOVE YOU!"
That's how I live my life today. I was changed by the people around me. My life is a mess, from the way I live it. That's why I never trusted anyone, even myself. But when I met the guy whom I thought who would accept me for who I am, things changed.
Through it all, the rise and fall.
Ahren was the only friend I ever had in school. He was my complete opposite. He was a transferee when I was in junior high. He came from a far country, from Australia. I don't know what's wrong with him, for he was bullied by those idiot guys who were my classmates. He was intelligent and respectful (um, can I tell he's cute?).
We became friends by accident. He tripped over a stock of bottled chemicals in our Chemistry lab that caused him burn his arm. I was passing by that time, (for I walked out again on class) and I heard his cries for help. I gave him first aid, and called the teachers. He was rushed to a nearby hospital. I was with him all those times, and that caused us to have a certain connection.
A year later, we are more than just friends. I clearly remember that. We were on a vacation with my family on Forks, and we were watching the midnight sky.
"Perse?"
"What?"
"I want to say something"
"Say it."
"I don't know where to start."
I was getting impatient so I stood up and started to walk away from him
"Perse, they say you're pretty, but that's and insult because you're beautiful."
My feet froze at that spot, and that words echoed through my ears
"I LOVE YOU."
I can't believe he's saying that.
"Nice joke. Quit it off."
"I'm not joking."
"I know you loved me as a friend, thanks for reminding me."
"I want the two of us to be more than friends."
"What do you want me to say?"
"It can be a 'yes, I love you too' or a 'no'. It depends on you."
"I don't know what to answer that."
But deep inside, there was an answer that was waiting to be spoken.
We were together since.
I would not care at all.
When the school found out that the two of us we're going out together, we became instant celebrities. They've been telling that I don't deserve Ahren. Imagine, the school's Einstein, dating the school's professional mutineer? What a nightmare it was for them. But every time those school gossip girl ask me about it, I say a very simple phrase: "Chemicals react, opposites attract,"
But of course, there are still those "hidden barriers" that try to separate us, including our family secrets, which I have been keeping from him for so many years. This isn't a perfect love story, and we all know what might happen next. I was dreading that day would come, and I least expected it on our first anniversary together.
Disappointed faces of your peers.
I didn't know that his parents came over here to visit. The worst part, my adoptive father was their family friend, who also came with them. Later did I learn about that, my father was the one who told Ahren about my past. His parents advised him to break up with me.
"Why didn't you told me about everything?"
"About what?"
"Your past, that you're adopted!"
"Is that an issue for you?"
"It's everything about you!"
"I can't believe this is happening, you're mad because I didn't tell you about that?"
"No, because I thought I knew you so much, I thought you would hide a thing like that from me! You don't know who you really are, where do you came from and who are your real parents. Is that you're telling me that you'll never hide anything from me?"
"Now you know, will it change me?"
"No, but I don't want to be connected with you anymore."
"You're acting like a kid."
"Yeah? Maybe I am!"
".."
"Goodbye, Perse."
Take a look at me.
I was back to who I was before I met him, even worse. I learned vices, got kicked out of school and nearly committed suicide, because of depression. I continued all of those until I no longer recognized who was looking back at the mirror. But that's not it.
I was involved in drag racing. I met friends there, whom shared the same experiences just like I do. We took out our emotions through racing, but I am now facing the end of my life because of it.
My car, driven by a friend hit against a tree. That accident got me paralyzed. I was staying in the hospital for almost three months. Mom only knew when it was all over the news.
"Mom, I think we should let go." We were the only ones in the ward that time, and I'm fully decided to do that.
"Of what?"
"Me"
"No." Her voice was stern.
"I'm decided Mom. I'm ready to die."
Tears was falling down her cheeks.
"I love you Mom. That was the only thing I could ever give you back.'
She nodded at me.
She presses a button. A few moments later, l heard a knock. And as my mom opened it, I feel that she will be strong enough to see me die. She smiled at me, for the last time in my life. And as I was looking at the syringe, with the substance injected out of it , I knew it will be the end of my dreadful life. As my thoughts dissolved into nothingness, I hear my mom saying "I'll carry on without you, Perse."
