The Fork in the Road

It had been a long time since she thought of him, the passionate way she loved him. He was her everything and there was a time when she would have given anything to have him walk back into her life. But that was five years ago, five years of tears and fear he never loved her at all. She threw herself into school, not allowing anyone to get as close as he was. Not even Angela was allowed near her, she had this wall built around her so high and was terrified at ever letting anyone get close to her. She walked around the world was in it, but didn't experience it like she use to. She did that for her first two years of college at Washington State University studying English. She took six classes a semester, always making sure she was never out on the 'party scene.' She just couldn't seem to enjoy herself like they did, didn't want to find the new 'cute guy.' She'd rather hide in her books and write her papers, never letting anyone see the person she truly was inside. The one thing that never changed -- her clumsiness. She would fall down even on the smoothest of surfaces and then one day, someone caught her.

"Woah there, are you ok?" He said, his voice smooth as he pulled her back up on her feet, reaching down to grab her fallen books.

"Ya, thank you." She said, not looking at him. She knew who she wanted it to be, and knew it wasn't him. The voice was wrong, the way he caught her was wrong. Yet there was something that seemed familiar about him, calming.

"You should be more careful." He said and laughed.

"I get that a lot." She said with a smile, the first in she didn't know how long. "My name's Bella."

"I'm Daniel. It's nice to meet you." He said and shook her hand.

It still amazed Bella how easy it started. They went for coffee, and she learned he was in a couple of her classes but was always too afraid to talk to her. She laughed at it now, how really away from the world she truly was at that point in her life. But then Daniel came along and seemed to slip into her life without her really noticing it and she loved him, she truly did. But she was still holding back, she couldn't give herself to him utterly. It wasn't in her anymore, she wasn't sure her heart existed for anything besides pumping blood through out her body and nothing more.

"Bells, I've missed you." Charlie said as she came in the room. Pulling her into a hug and seeing her with a genuine smile on her face. "Bells, is there something you want to tell me?"

"Depends, do you have your gun on you?" She joked and Charlie just laughed.

"Yes," he said and then smiled. "What's his name?"

"Daniel and he's a good guy, I think you'll like him."

"But do you love him?" He asked and I know what he meant, do I love Daniel the way I love HIM. I just smiled and shook my head.

"He loves me and I do love him. He makes me happy, something I haven't been in a very long time." She said, hoping her father accepted it, she did love Daniel and she was sure he loved her. What else was there?

Charlie met Daniel the following weekend and they hit it off. They went fishing, and talked sports, it seemed they had more in common then Bella ever imagined. It worried her a little, he was just too perfect. But he still had Renee to meet, so she hoped her mother would find a fault because it seemed she was too jaded to find one herself. In Daniel's own way he was just too good to be true, but didn't she think the same thing about HIM? As they dated over the last two years of college, she became more and more attached to him, he even went to meet her mother in Jacksonville over Christmas. She was terrified as Renee picked them up at the airport, but she soon realized that fear was unwarranted.

"I have to say, you seemed to have found a perfect boyfriend." Renee said as they sat in the kitchen drinking coffee late at night.

"Being as I just ran into him, yeah. I still can't believe we've been together for two years. I mean it just seemed to go by so fast." She said and Renee watched her smile.

"I haven't found any faults and I tried. He gets along with Charlie and Angela was practically singing his praise on the phone." She said and Bella just listened. She knew what all her friends thought of her. She was lucky to have landed someone so perfect, someone who did all the little things that no one else seemed to notice but her. Flowers and little notes for no reason, showing up when he promised to show up.

As Bella thought back on all those memories she still couldn't believe they brought her here today. As she looked over at the window, she had to smile. Even though she was happy to be here, it still seemed so far away, like she was living someone else's life. She wasn't really here, it was a dream and she would wake up soon and it would all be gone. She walked around the room, staring at all the little trinkets, trying to decide how she needed it all. To her the only thing she needed was the dress on the back of the door. As she pulled down the zipper, she felt a wash over her of where she found it.

"Come on Angela, how can I do this without you?" She said as she pulled Angela in another dress shop. In search of her wedding dress, Daniel had purposed, after two years he got down on one knee and asked her to marry him and she was helpless to say anything, just nodding her head. Speechless didn't begin to cover what she felt at that moment.

"Slow down, your wedding isn't for three weeks, and you have your moms dress if you hate everything here too. Besides, since when do you like to go shopping?" She asked and Bella just shook her head. They some how ended up in Portland, Oregon looking for a dress while they visited some family of Angela's.

"This is it," Bella said as she seen a dress on the last rack. It was perfect, the same one she had seen in her dreams for so long now. "It's the last one and is actually my size." She said and ran to try it on.

After they found the dress, and had the alterations measured, they went to have a cup of coffee. As they walked in the coffee shop, there sat Alice and Edward. Acting as if they were anyone else, drinking coffee as they socialized. As they walked in and headed to the counter, Edward immediately looked up to see her and Bella froze in place.

"Bella what…" Angela started and then looked over at Edward and Alice and knew what was wrong. "Oh that can't be good." She said and started to look over at Alice and Edward, knowing they couldn't avoid saying hi now. Bella seemed to walk over without even realizing she was doing it. She was drawn to him, no matter what she thought.

Alice was so nice to her, as was Edward when he finally found his voice. However neither knew what to say once they seen her engagement ring, and heard her wedding was only three weeks off. She watched the pain cross Edward's face but turned away, this was what he wanted for her -- wasn't it? She was doing so much waiting, trying to figure out what came next for her.

"Bella I always hoped you would be happy." Alice said as she hugged Bella goodbye.

"Thanks." She said, her eyes still locked on Edward's. She didn't notice the note that was slipped into her pocket until they were back at the hotel.

"Wow, that was weird. I never thought we'd see them again." Angela said and Bella nodded, she was still playing it over in her head as they went to their rooms.

"I'm going to turn in early. I have a headache, but enjoy your night out with your sister."

"Are you sure?" Angela asked and Bella nodded. There was a lot going on in her mind. She took off her coat off and found the note in the pocket when she pulled out her phone.

Bella - I know you are wondering about a lot. I honestly didn't know you were going to be there, but you needed to know we all still love and miss you. I hope you truly did find your happiness for you always deserved it, more then anyone else I've ever known. But if you are still trying to figure it out, then you know where to find your answers. 5th floor, Plaza Hotel Room 506

Bella must have stared at that note for hours, trying to figure out what Alice expected of her. Did she want her to go to talk to her -- or to Edward. So she did the only thing she could, got drunk. As she sat there drinking, she started to get courage and knew it would only lead to one place. As she got in the cab, she knew she shouldn't be doing it but couldn't help herself. Alice was right, she needed answers!

"Plaza Hotel please." She said and he took off. The moment she got in, she went to he elevators and headed up to the fifth floor. As she rode up, she tried to think of what to say, but as she begun to sober up, the courage started to falter and she was left alone with her thoughts. Bella rode the elevator twice before she got the courage to fit off on the fifth floor, and then another ten minutes trying to knock on his door. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she knocked. "You can do this, you can do this." She said and waited for him to open the door.

As Bella finished her hair, she couldn't help but continue to think of that day, how they stood there staring at one another trying to figure out what to do. Or what to say to one another. She had to laugh at the way Edward looked at her, as if seeing a ghost.

"What are you.." he started but she couldn't formulate the words, honestly she didn't know why she went, just that she had to. When Edward realized he wasn't going to get an answer, he pulled her inside and closed the door. "Bella, why are you here?" He asked again, but Bella just went to the window and looked out at the city lights.

"A year, I went into the woods every day for a year. Waiting for you to just appear, to pop back into my life like it was all a bad dream. Just come back and say it was a mistake and that you couldn't help but come back. I spent so many nights dreaming that, only to wake up to the cruel way you left me." She said and heard him sigh. "I was just so guarded after you left, so afraid if I trusted someone else they would just hurt me like you did, even Angela had to work to get through all the walls I built around myself."

"Bella, you didn't answer my question." He tried again, not wanting to relive the hell he put her through, as she turned to face him, it was written all over her face.

"I don't know, I don't know why I came. It just was this nagging feeling in me, something I had to do. I don't know why I came over to you at the coffee shop. I didn't want to, the entire walk over my head was screaming to walk away --- run out of there and back to my hotel and wait for Daniel to get here. But my didn't seem to get the message as they continued to walk over to you." She said and felt the tears sting at her eyes and blinked them back. "Why? Why didn't you come back for me?"

"Because I promised I wouldn't. You didn't need me disturbing your life and I honestly was afraid of what I would find. The moment I left you I realized how much of a coward I truly was so I hid. I ran as far away from you and anyone else as I could. I hid myself in the woods, trying to feel anything but guilt and shame." He said and took a deep breath. "But I did come back, once. I just needed to see you were ok,, but I seen you with some guy and you were laughing. You were walking through Forks and had that smile on your face that lit up the whole street. You were wearing that blue blouse Alice bought you for your birthday, the one with the green stitching, and dark jeans. You looked just as beautiful as you always did." He said and she watched as he pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes trying to regain control of himself. "You were happy, so I walked away. I didn't want you to see me there, I didn't want to ruin the life you built around yourself."

"How did you know that it would affect me, that I would still care?" She said, trying to sound brave, but the shake in her voice betrayed her.

"You're Bella and you don't throw away feelings. You don't turn them off and pretend they were never there. Whether you still loved me or not, seeing me would bring back memories, good and bad and it wasn't fair." He said and sat on the edge of the bed. Bella leaned on the dresser shaking her head. She knew he was right.

"About a year ago?" She said and he nodded. "I said I felt like someone was watching me and looked around knowing if someone was, it was you." They both sat in silence, trying to figure out what happened next, what they said next to one another.

"Bella, why are you here?" He tried again after nearly an hour of silence.

"I get married in three weeks." She said and he waited, knowing there was surely more. "I love him, and I was set to have it all work out perfectly, I even found my dress. It was all suppose to go off without a hitch and then I walk into a coffee shop and you're there. Only to back to my hotel, in hopes of forgetting it ever happened, and have my panic attack. But then I find this in my pocket." She said and threw the note on the floor.

"I didn't…" he started and Bella just laughed.

"Of course you didn't, you didn't have to. That's what Alice is for, the hopeless believer in fate or whatever else she thinks of this week." Bella said and Edward remained quiet.

"Bella, this says if you are looking for answers come here. Are you?" He asked and she felt the tears continue to fall. "Bella, do you love him?" Edward asked and Bella started to cry.

"Its so easy with him, no arguing no defending him to Renee or Charlie. They love him, Angela thinks he's perfect. Nearly three years together and we haven't had one problem. Nothing to rock the boat or cause us to argue." She said and knew Edward was analyzing her every word. "Yes, I do love him." She said and took a breath, closing her eyes. "But the love I feel for him is so different then the love I will always have for you. There's no competition there. Five years, ten years, it doesn't change the outcome. You put the two of you in front of me and tell me to choose and I will always choose you. The way I loved you was so passionate, powerful and more overpowering then anything I have ever felt. I tried, I really did try to get you out of my life, to leave you in the woods in Forks but I couldn't do it." She said, trying to wipe away her tears.

"What are you saying?" He asked and she just shook her head, he still didn't get it. "You are engaged and I am out of your life. I don't know what you want from me." He said, and she cried more, it was all too much for her.

As Bella pulled her dress on. She stopped thinking of that day, it was still so confusing to her. She pulled up the zipper and did her make up.

"Are you ready?" She heard as someone knocked at the door

"Five minutes." She called back and smiled, realizing it was almost time. She adjusted the garter on her leg, wanting all the traditions to be in place. Then pulled the veil down over her face and took a deep breath. "This is the last time I'll look in the mirror and see Bella Swan." She said to herself and walked out of the room and stood at the top of the aisle. Looking up to lock eyes with her groom. As the music started and she walked down the aisle, it was easy to think of the days that led to her wedding day.

As Bella went back to her hotel room that night she didn't know what she was suppose to do. She grabbed her suitcase and packed it. She did know she needed to get away from Portland. She made sure that everything was out of the room and left Angela a note apologizing for abandoning her. Then she called to get her wedding dress.

"I know but even if the alterations aren't done its fine, I'm leaving town and need to take it with me." She said and left to get the dress. When she drove to the airport, she put her luggage on the plane and waited for take off. She just wanted it to all be over. The moment she landed she went to her dad's house. She knew she was home a day early, but hoped she could explain it.

"Bells," Charlie said the moment he seen her but she just started to cry. "Bells, what happened? Angela called and said you left a note last night."

"Edward was in Portland." She said and hugged her dad tighter. "He was at a coffee shop with Alice and I had to walk over to him, if for nothing else then to see how he is."

"He was your first love sweetheart of course you had to see him." He said, not knowing how to fix things. As Charlie stood there holding his crying daughter, Daniel came walking through the door.

"Bella?" He said as he seen the two of them and immediately went to her side. "What happened? Why are you home so early?" Charlie figured they needed a minute and left, leaving Daniel and Bella on the couch. "You're really starting to scare me."

"I had to leave Portland, I didn't know what to do but to come home." She said and took a deep breath. "Remember when we met, and I told you I was still heartbroken?" She said and he nodded. "My high school boyfriend, the one who left me, I seen him and his sister, my best friend while we were dress shopping. He said he was happy for us and wished us all the luck in the world. But seeing him, looking at him when he looked the same as that time was too much. It brought back so many feelings and thoughts and I just had to leave."

"Of course you did, he was your first love and he broke your heart, what did you expect to happen? I can't imagine what it felt to see him, but I do know that it must have hurt. But that doesn't matter now, because we are together and I will spend the rest of my life doing what he didn't have the guts to do -- stay!" He said and kissed my forehead.

"I love you, and I know there is no one that I belong with more then you." She said and dropped her head in her hands.

Bella smiled at the courage she had then, standing in the face of fire and figuring out what came next for her and her future. She kept going down the aisle as he took her hands in his, helping he up the step and lifting her veil so his eyes locked with her brown ones.

"Dearly beloved…" the priest started and looked on at the bride and groom before him, their youth and commitment to one another amazed him. "Now, do you Isabella Marie Swan, take Edward Anthony Cullen to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do," she said automatically. Never feeling more certain then she was in that moment.

"And do you Edward Anthony Cullen take Isabella Marie Swan to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do," he said and as the priest finished their vows and they exchanged rings, they were both elated. Feeling as if they were finally given the life they deserved…together. As he pulled her into their first kiss as his wife, Edward was sure he'd never again let her go. Bella was more occupied on staying one step ahead of her husband, never giving him the opportunity to leave her for any reason.

Bella stood there in shock as he looked at her. It was still incredible to her that he could doubt what she wanted, what she always wanted. She waked over to him and grabbed his hand, putting it to her accelerated heart beat.

"I want you to love me like you did in high school when we met. To go back and erase all this pain and stay like you promised me you would." She said and he reached to wipe away her tears.

"You still want me?" He said as he cupped her face in his hands, closing the last couple of inches between them.

"Forever and always, I've never loved anyone the way I loved you." She said and pulled away.

"I'm not going anywhere yet, I'll be here all weekend. You go and see what you want, tell him its over, or never come back here again. Either way it is your choice this time, no games no false promises. I've lived in hell all these years apart and never want to live that way again. But I had no right to make that choice for you the first time, and no right to make it now. I love you Bella, and I never stopped, I have always wanted to be with you and grow old with you and even though its never possible for me -- I can still sit and watch you as we share our lives together." He said and kissed her, putting everything he had left in him into that kiss. Hoping it was enough to win back his one and only love.

As Bella walked out of his hotel room Edward felt a mess, he was worried she wouldn't walk back through that door. He didn't leave the room, and banished Alice to the family in Alaska. All he wanted was to be alone in his pity while he waited. He watched as time ticked by slowly, knowing she would fly to Forks, and wait to talk to Daniel and her family. Then take care of any hang ups before coming back -- if she came back.

"Go away," Edward called from the balcony as he sat staring at the night sky. That's when he heard the door open and was about to let his anger unleash when he seen Bella. "You came back," he said and stood up to face her.

"I had to," she said and dropped her bags. "It wasn't fair to Daniel to marry him knowing in my heart it was always you. Even when I picked my wedding dress it was the one I always envisioned myself marrying you in. Everything about the wedding was for you, and I couldn't pretend anymore. I love Daniel and I know I belong with him. He's practical and stable -- completely safe! But he isn't now or will ever be you! I will never have the passion and love I feel for you with him. You only get that once -- and I have found it all with you!" She said and kissed him.

Edward and Bella pulled apart as they walked down the aisle. They were so happy in the little chapel, neither needing the big wedding. They had another couple stand up as their witnesses, and got rings from a local jewelry store. As for the rest of it, they found it perfect. Bella wore the dress she bought for her wedding to Daniel and Edward bought a new suit. As for their families, neither wanted the big show they knew would be with a big wedding. Thought Edward was sure Alice was going to be furious, he didn't care, all he wanted was Bella and he had her -- forever and always!

A/N: alright this only got written because I was hounded by a good friend of mine. (You know who you are…lol) and as always I don't own Twilight or the characters. But I did have two songs in mind while I wrote the story:

"White Horse" - Taylor Swift (first half of story)

"The Way I Loved You" - Taylor Swift (second half of story)