This is my first fanfic in One Piece fandom. It's set shortly after the Dead End Adventure. I'm not entirely sure about characters ages, especially whether Sanji and/or Zoro had or had not turned 20 already at this particular point of the story line. If I`m incorrect in this, feel free to x out "Dead End Race" and just fill in any earlier competition the crew won without having had the opportunity to collect their prize. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own "One Piece" or any of the Straw Hat Pirate characters. I am not making money with this.


+++Chapter 1: Do You Own a White T-shirt?+++

'Teenagers,' sighed Nico Robin, folding her hands on the backrest of her chair and resting her head on them.

Zoro frowned, 'What do you mean?'

He followed the archeologist's gaze across the crowded tavern, the sailors, pirates, town-folk, the wooden tables loaded with tankards and food. Men playing dice or cards, talking, eating, brawling, to the sound of a musician walking between them and playing the violin... It was typical tavern in a typical backwater town, the first and only one the Straw Hats had hit on after the desastrous finish of the Dead End Race and subsequent flight from the marine. They had not even been able to collect the prize money.

The crew was spread about the room, and everyone was doing what they did best in order to overcome the vexing loss: Luffy was already bloated with food. Usopp had gathered a small audience for his tales. Chopper, who sat with them, looked about him with the nervous attitude of a shy animal of the woods. Zoro and Robin had chosen to sit at a separate table, having found a common interest in certain details of East Blue renaissance sword-production ('blooming old blades' in Zoro's usage, 'relicts of the late Hetith-dynasty Fleur-de-lys' in Robin's terminology).

Nami sat at the bar, talking animatedly to a tall sailor with tatoo-covered arms and a black pony tail, and in some distance -

'Oh,' said Zoro. 'You're talking about the stupid cook.'

'I expected him to hyperventilate and nosebleed,' said Robin. 'There's a whole band of girls over there, having a celebration of some kind. But all he does is keep an eye on Nami while looking daggers at the stranger she's talking to.'

'So I said: Idiot.'

'Zoro.' Robin looked him up and down, amused. 'How come you guys have been traveling together for so long and know so little of each other?'

'Know?' mumbled Zoro, unconsciously clutching his swords. 'I know lots about the others. Luffy's one of the most effective fighters I ever met, and Chopper's skills as a doctor are unprecedented. And in the same way that they're unique, the cook is an exceptional dumbass.'

'He's just young,' argued Robin. 'Technically, he's still in his teens. And emotionally?' She shrugged, 'Well, I suppose he's simply not figured it out for himself yet.'

'Figured out what?' Zoro wondered if he should tell her that the cook and he were actually contemporaries. Talk about knowing the guys you're traveling with... But then she might decide to find him technically young and emotionally half-baked, too. And since those attributes did not apply to him – which he happened to know for sure, as sure as he carried three swords at his side – he decided that there was no need to dwell on this detail.

Robin's enigmatic eyes scrutinized him as if she sensed his secret thoughts. 'What, do you think, would happen, if Sanji was given a chance to spend some time alone with Nami?'

'As a matter of fact, he has spent plenty of time with her. On the ship - '

'I'm not talking about night shifts on board or being held hostage by some weird would-be king, holding out for Luffy to show up and pull the "bail-out" card,' Robin insisted. 'I'm talking about a real chance for romance. Only the two of them. Guards down. Masks off. What would happen?'

Zoro stroked his chin, thinking, 'Er – probably – "this" and "that"?'

'Or other,' suggested Robin.

Zoro snorted derisively, 'When it comes to "this" and "that", any concept of "other" ceases to exist in that pervert's twisted imagination.'

'Don't think so,' said Robin plainly. 'Five-thousand berys I can prove you wrong.'

'Huh?'

'I'll give you five-thousand berys, if we can catch Sanji and Nami kissing tonight. And I mean "love-kissing". If they don't, it's five-thousand berys for me.'

Zoro's eyes narrowed, 'That's a lot of money.'

'Ah. So you do think you might loose.'

'Nami won't kiss the stupid cook,' Zoro pointed out. 'After all, she's got taste. But he'll not miss the opportunity. Alright. I'm on. Five-thousand berys.'

'One condition: Whatever the outcome, Nami must never learn we put money on this.' Robin looked over at the red-haired navigator. 'It's not exactly what friends do, manipulate each other. This is a matter of trust.'

'And pride. I'm no blabbermouth,' said Zoro with a warrior's dignity.

'Agreed then.' Robin's smile became purposeful. 'The night's not getting any younger. Let's start by getting off some masks and shaking some guards.'

For a moment, Zoro expected her to cross her hands and call upon the devil's fruit's powers. But she only called out to the little reindeer sitting with Usopp and Luffy at the other table. 'Chopper? Could you come over here for a minute, please?'

The blue-nosed reindeer's superior hearing perceived her call even over the noise of the tavern. He got up and padded over. 'What is it, Robin?'

'I have a favor to ask. See these girls over there? Would you go to them for me and tell them –' Robin stooped down and whispered into Chopper's ear. When she finished, the little reindeer looked first at the table of partying girls, then over to the sulking cook. 'I can do that. But why?'

'Because you're so cute there's no way they can deny you anything.' Robin gave him a friendly shove. 'Now go.'


A shadow fell on Sanji, and someone set their glass on the table in front of him.

'Hi,' the someone said.

'Who -oopiee.' Sanji's gaze took in the manicured fingernails, the slender hands, wandering up, steadily up and – Angels existed. He was a believer now. Evidence had just touched down next to him, smiling at him and presenting her divine cleavage.

'I'm Mel,' the blonde said. 'I'm a birthday girl.'

'I'm a lucky devil,' he managed to get out.

Mel "The Gorgeous" was in the company of a dark haired girl in a sexy leather outfit. That other girl said, 'He says you're a cook,' casually pointing the thumb of the hand that was not holding her drink. Her bracelets jingled. Sanji saw that Chopper was talking to Mel's friends, a party of six. They looked over, whispered, giggled, took their glasses, started to move.

'Well, actually I'm a pirate,' he said, feeling lightheaded from an acute lack of oxygen. What was it again about – oh, yeah. Breathe. 'One of the Straw Hats.'

'Monkey D. Luffy's gang?' The girls exchanged awed glances. 'Thass cool.'

Their friends arrived and quickly spread around the table, making it impossible for Sanji to focus on the little voice in his mind that asked suspiciously what Chopper was possibly up to.

'Hey, girls. He's one of Monkey D. Luffy's crew.' Mel raised her glass, 'Here's to straw hats!' The other girls chimed in, looking at Sanji with curious eyes. Sanji drank to them quickly, before the brewing nosebleed could embarrass him.

'The reindeer says you've had quite a hard time, lately,' Mel continued. 'He said he's a doctor, and we should come over here and keep you company, if we and you didn't mind.'

'That's what he says, eh?' Sanji's gaze fixated her two best arguments for making a man want to embrace the chance of welcoming her at his table.

'Well, we don't mind. Do you?'

'Huh?'

'Mind. Do you mind?'

'No. No, I haven't got a – mind to - ' Embrace her arguments, the little voice in Sanji's head commanded, dropping the subject of questioning Chopper's intentions. Do it! Now!

'But you've got a name, haven't you?'

'Sa- Sanji.'

'Hi, Sanji. As I said, I'm Mel. The lace-and-leather cat here is Leila. Meet Sandy, Vio, and the ginger over there is – '


'What are you doing?' asked Zoro irritably. 'Our bet is about the love cook and Nami. Not about him flirting with a bunch of town girls.'

'Not to worry.' Robin looked over at the party, where the leading girl, a well-endowed blonde, was introducing her friends to Sanji. The girls raised their glasses as they were presented to him, from the left to the right, and he returned the salute to each of them.

'Damned fool!' Zoro was not amused. 'Now what? At that rate he's going to be out of it before Nami even entered the scene.'

'Nonsense. He can take much more than that.' Robin beckoned to Usopp. 'Usopp? Oi, Captain Usopp. Can I have a word with you?'


On answering to her beckoning, Usopp received a slightly modified version of the story: He was told that Sanji intended to take another shot at getting on closer terms with Nami and was working up the courage to do so. And Robin was worried, because things seemed to get a little out of hand. Of course, she could not get involved, and Zoro, well, the impracticability was self-evident. So would Usopp please go over and check on his nakama?

Usopp saw the logic in her reasoning, checked – and was worried by the level of deterioration he already noticed about the blonde cook.

'Oi, Sanji. How many fingers am I holding up?'

'Get lost. Six.'

Surprised, Usopp looked at his hand, 'But I raised only one hand?'

'I don't give a shit how many frigging hands you have. Bugger off, Usopp. I'm busy.'

Usopp patted Sanji on the back and said in a conspiratorial tone, 'At some point it's absolutely socially acceptable to fall off one's chair, you know?'

It was a pirate's way of saying, 'Don't you think you've had enough, pal?'

Sanji, well in his cups, gave him a piece of his mind on shitty social conventions that had so far kept this gentleman from squashing a certain green-haired microbe in front of two ladies and hindered him from kicking that pony-tailed ass over there into orbit now.

Usopp clutched Sanji's shoulder and said urgently, 'Sometimes, it may even be the smarter idea to just slide under the table and be over it.' That wasn't pirate slang, but Usopp's personal opinion. 'To hell with pony-tailed jerks, Sanji. Give it a break.'

Sanji raised his glass and drank to "hell-with-pony-tailed jerks".

The girls cheered. Relishing their approval, Sanji drank to each of them in turn, this time from the right to the left.

After that, he didn't need any particular reason to continue drinking.

As long as they kept the sake coming, he just did.


Luffy had eaten his way through the kitchen's supplies and was forced to take a little break. The tavern owner had come up to his table, red-faced and dabbing at his forehead with a hanky. He announced that if the gentleman planned on ordering another dish, the cook needed to go shopping for more food.

Luffy told him cheerfully that planned on ordering a lot more dishes and that of course he would wait patiently for the man's return. Meanwhile, he seized the opportunity to look around. Night had fallen outside, and the lamps had been lit. Merry folks were crowding the tavern, and his friends were among them.

He spotted Nami, sitting right at the bar with a broad-shouldered rogue, talking eagerly. Robin was at a table at the other side of the room, smiling, sipping her drink and looking over to Sanji. The cook was in female company, as was to be expected. Luffy just hadn't thought he'd attract so many chicks this time. This was a sleepy backwater town, after all. But the girls seemed to have a celebration of some sort and agreed on accepting the blonde cook as their fellow party animal.

Luffy's eyes strayed on, searching for Usopp and Chopper and Zoro. He found only Zoro, in the act of sneaking out of the tavern. The swordsman held the door with one hand and raised the other to Robin, as if to give a secret signal. Then, quick and silent as a wisp of mist, Zoro slipped out.

Something was fishy here.

Luffy moved over to Robin, hoping that the tavern's cook didn't return just now, think him gone and stop cooking. Judging the situation over at Sanji's table he doubted he could get his own chef-de-cuisine to prepare one decent ham-and-cheese sandwich any time soon.

'Hi, Robin.' He slid on to a chair next to her.

'Hi, Luffy.'

'Robin? If I'm imagining things, please say so. But I've got this feeling – no, I definitely watch my crew sidle off, one by one.'

'That's right.' Robin finally turned her attention to him.

'Why?'

'Because I asked them to.'

'Why?'

'Just a little scheming on Zoro's and my part. We want to see Nami and Sanji figure it out.'

'Figure out what?'

'Whether it's "this" or "that" or "something other", when they're left to their own devices.'

Luffy considered this very carefully.

'But Nami's talking to a brute, and from what I can see, Sanji's already three-quarters out of his skull on sake,' he pointed out. 'How are they going to figure out anything under such circumstances?'

'They will,' Robin assured him. 'Or I'm very mistaken and a lousy observer. – Luffy, you're next. Make sure they don't notice you leaving. Usopp, Chopper and Zoro are waiting outside. I'll be with you right away.'

'I still don't see the point in this. But if the others are on, so am I.' Luffy stood and casually made his way to the door, whistling and talking to himself, `Now, let's see...where's that stupid restroom again?'

'Over there,' said the violin player helpfully and pointed his bow.

'Oh, thank you,' said Luffy and dashed in the other direction.

Holding the door ajar, he imitated Zoro's signal, feeling that it gave the whole affair a wonderfully conspiratorial touch. Robin jerked a nod, and he was gone. Now it was only her left.

And, of course, the pair in question. Luffy had a point: Being each occupied with their own business, the cook and the navigator seemed not to care about or even notice each other's presence. Robin felt a small sting of uncertainty. Had she gone too far? Sanji seemed beyond caring and noticing anything save the most immediate diversions, and there was a dazzling plenty of them within reach, indeed.

Then, the sailor's brutish hand touched Nami's shoulder.

And just as reliably as the navigator flinched, the cook's head snapped up.

Smiling secretly, Robin sneaked out.


'Ten percent, if you collect our prize money for winning the Dead End Race,' insisted Nami. 'Ten percent. That's good payment for so easy an errand. I mean, it's not like we're going to rob someone. We won that thing. The money's ours. If not the marine had moved in just as we were about to cross the finishing line...'

'The marine,' the sailor echoed. 'That's the problem. If they still hang around there, waiting for you, I might be in trouble.'

'Still, ten percent –'

'Eight,' the sailor offered.

'Now, you're really trying my – what? Eight?' Nami stared at him, wide-eyed. 'That a joke?'

'A new argument in the bargain,' the sailor said. 'I'll have eight percent. And the rest is made up of other goodies.'

'Other goodies?' Nami frowned. There was a change in his voice and expression that she didn't like at all. But before she could pinpoint what it was, he already gave the cue.

'You're a beautiful woman. I'm sure, we could come to an agreement that would leave you with more cash – and me with more fun to get out of the deal.'

'This deal is about money,' Nami said coldly. 'Not about fun.'

'No way we could change these harsh rules?' he asked, touching her shoulder. His rough hand felt like a dead weight on her body. 'Seven percent? Six?'

'Take off your paw!' Nami flinched, instinctively casting a searching glance over to Luffy's table.

Luffy was gone. So she was on her own. Fine. She could cope.

'Stop talking such nonsense, Caras,' she said firmly. 'So, it's ten percent ca- '

She blinked: Her vis-a-vis was gone as she spoke, swept off his chair by something striking with deadly precision and almost too fast to see. Ten foot further, he crashed into a table and went down.

'What in hell,' Nami asked dangerously, 'was that about, Sanji?' She turned to him slowly, took in the sight of him, and her eyes widened. 'Geez, what happened to you? You alright?'

Sanji, pale and swaying, jerked a nod. 'You?' he asked.

'I'm fine.' Quickly assessing the situation, Nami thought that his visible eye had that peculiar glazed-over look she only ever saw on him when he came out of battle wounded or crawled into his hammock after partying with the boys.

The boys.

Looking for someone to hand the intoxicated cook over to, it occurred to her that not only Luffy was missing.

'But – where are the others?' Nami asked, perplexed.

'Gone,' said Sanji darkly. 'Couldn't stand watching you strike deals with this scum.'

'What'd you say?' the sailor shouted.

Sanji cast him a one-eyed mean look, '...watching you strike deals with this deaf scum.'

'Sanji, stop!' Nami gestured wildly and started to explain, 'Remember the prize money for winning the Dead End Race? Luffy says we can't risk going on shore on Partia now. So I've come up with a plan. We'll send a messenger.' She pointed at the sailor, who was picking himself up. 'Caras here says he can do it. We were just about to agree on his share.'

Sanji scratched his head. 'Looked to me like you were going to be a share of his share.'

Nami flared. 'I. Can. Handle it, thank you.'

'Shit. You really think about making that deal, don't you?!' Sanji tried to grab her by the arm, missed and nearly landed face-first in her lap.

'Ey! Watch it!' Nami pushed him back, while swiftly sliding off her chair. When she stood, she found Sanji's finger waving in front of her nose. He was leaning on the seat of chair she had sat on, and talked to her in a torrent of hasty, slightly slurred words, '...things more important than money, Nami, just think about it, all those things like enough food and romance and not sitting on an island in the middle of nowhere, waiting for a ship that may or may not pass by, and love, and devotion, and girls in white t-shirts taking a shower, and, and – love and showers, and –' He stopped and asked, as an afterthought, 'Do you have a white t-shirt?'

'Get off, Sanji,' Nami said with forced clam.

'Huh?'

'You heard me.' Nami's voice rose. 'You're dead drunk, and you dare come to my table in that condiction, kick my business partner and suggest that I might have agreed to an absolutely disagreeable deal.'

A blank look of surprise crept on to Sanji's face. 'N-Nami-swan? You're not mad at me?'

'Don't ask. Just go. Now.'

Now, there was fear in his voice, 'But Nami – ?'

She bit her lip, shook her head and made a brisk "this-way-to-exit" move with her hand.

'Alright.' A small, defiant spark shone up in Sanji's eye. He slapped his hand on the bar. 'Shit. Fine. If that's how you want it – ' He cast her one last glance and, seeing her determined, staggered off. Nami watched him thread his way past the tables, fighting the small stings of her conscience. He really seemed hurt. But she couldn't have stood looking him in the eye for one second longer. Because she had to admit that for one moment, one brief moment before her nakama arrived, some foolish part of her mind hadn't found the idea of making an arrangement that saved her cash money as repulsive as it actually was... Oh, she knew she would never have accepted in the end. But she was shocked and feeling ashamed that it had to be Sanji and not herself making the wretch pay for his infamy.

'That was quite a show,' Caras said, reclaiming his seat. 'Continue with business?'

'Let's hear your offer,' said Nami absently.

'Five percent,' he said, looking her up and down with greedy eyes. 'If you put on a white t-shirt. Your blonde watch-dog got a point: It must look gorgeous on you.'

Slowly, Nami clenched her fist...


'All hands on deck!' Luffy pressed his back against the tavern building's wall and peered around the corner. 'Sanji's come out.'

'Only Sanji?' asked Usopp, craning his neck to look past Luffy. 'What about Nami?'

'Dunno. She must still be in there.'

There was a loud cracking noise inside, as if some heavy body crashed through half a dozen tables, damaging several bystanders as it went down.

'What was that?' asked Chopper, casting a quick, scared look at the wall beside him.

'Oh, that's probably Nami beating up some drunk groper,' said Luffy.

'What's up with the stupid cook?' asked Zoro.

The pirates watched Sanji walk unsteadily away from the tavern. After a few strides he stopped and, looking up at the sky, ran a hand through his hair.

'Shiiiit!' he yelled at the few stars. 'Nami-swaaan!'

He picked up a lump of dirt and chucked it against the brick wall of the nearest building. He took a pull on his cigarette, then, as if feeling a sudden distaste, threw it to the ground and trampled on it, screaming with rage. Usopp and Chopper clung to Luffy, shaking: Acting like he did, the blonde cook was putting the fear of Sanji into them.

Zoro muttered unflattering words, and Robin smiled as if she knew things and approved of what she saw.

'Didn't you say they'd figure it out,' Luffy asked of her.

'I did,' she agreed. 'But I never claimed it would be all doves and violets.'

The tavern door opened, and Nami stepped out into the open. Seeing Sanji hopping and stamping on the spot, her grumpy looks turned into an expression of surprise. 'Sanji? What are you doing?'

Pushing his hands into his pockets, he started to walk away.

'Sanji. Wait!' Nami hurried to catch up with him. 'Oi. Wait for me.' She fell in step beside him, totally oblivious to his icy silence. 'The deal is off. You were right, that guy was a total dumbass. But jus you wait. I'm going to find another messenger. I'm going to find him soon. Nothing's lost, especially not our money...'

'...treat me this way.'

'What?' Nami frowned. Suddenly, it occurred to her that something just was not right. It was Sanji, she realized, her nakama and devotee. He was supposed to listen to her, approve of her cleverness. Instead, he looked at her with cold anger in his visible eye.

'I said you have no right to treat me this way,' he repeated. 'Shout at me, send me away, when you were about to behave foolishly, and with me only trying to protect you...'

Nami was stunned, 'You think me foolish?'

'Well, when it comes to berys you know darn well you tend to switch on the calculator rather than your brains.'

'You dare?' Nami stopped in her tracks, bristling. 'How am I supposed to feel? You have no right to gatecrash my conversations and beat up my business partners.'

Sanji stopped, too. 'Business partner? That guy was a pervert.'

'How would you know? You haven't even spoken with him.'

Volume was rising steadily.

'I don't need to speak to a pervert to know him. He groped you. That says about all.'

'He touched my arm. What's the big deal?' shouted Nami. 'You asked whether I owned a white t-shirt!'

'A simple question that you never answered,' shouted Sanji.

'What if I said "yes"?' yelled Nami. 'You'd ask me to wear it in the shower, wouldn't you?'

'What if you don't?' yelled Sanji. 'You wouldn't, would you?'

'You drunk nincompoop! That doesn't even make sense!'

'Holy shit, Nami, what part of "Do you own a white t-shirt" do you need explained? Before you feel qualified to make a relevant statement?'


'Er,' said Luffy behind the corner. 'They're not really fighting about Nami's selection of t-shirts, are they?'

'No,' said Chopper. 'They're fighting over rhethorical implications of simple questions and the necessary qualifications to make a statement.'

'Huh?'

Usopp said sadly, 'I told him that sometimes it's more desirable to just slide under the table and be over with it. Really, Luffy. I told him.'


Meanwhile in the street, an agreement of sorts had been reached:

'Okay, so I'll get myself a white t-shirt,' yelled Nami. 'But only if you stop being so damned perverse and picture me wearing it in the shower!'

'That's not perverse, that's fucking normal. I'm nineteen,' Sanji yelled.

'I'm tired, and you're both perverts, screaming like that in the dead of the night,' a man's voice yelled from a nearby window. 'Shut up!'

A shoe came flying and hit the street. Sanji picked it up, spotted the man who'd thrown it and, racing up the wall, slammed it back at the red, angry face. The man staggered backwards and disappeared from sight. There was a commotion, some more screaming, a woman's voice joining in, and a dog barking. Sanji landed, not as elegantly as he used to, but safely enough. He looked up at the window.

'Now, what was that again,' asked Nami, exasperated. 'You attacked a harmless family man.'

'Just in case you missed it, Nami-san: He almost hit you with his shitty shoe.'

'Acting like my bodyguard again, aren't you?' Nami blustered, getting ready for round two. 'I won't stand that from a guy who knows starboard from larboard only by observing which eye his fringes are hanging down over.'

'Other than you, this fringed guy can at least tell sugar from salt without tasting it first,' retorted Sanji, acidly. 'And wasn't that an egg timer I saw you using the other day?'

'Already wondered where you'd left it, did you?' snarled Nami, viciously.

Sanji froze.


Hiding behind an unguarded carriage, the Straw Hat Pirates cringed.

'Ooooh,' whispered Chopper, putting his paws to his little cute mouth. 'That was low.'

'Maybe he's too drunk to process it?' Usopp suggested, hopefully.

'Uh-uh,' said Luffy. 'Look at his face. Went right through the heart.'

'Way to go, Nami,' mumbled Zoro. 'This way, I'll never win my five-thousa- '

Robin shoved her elbow into his ribs. 'Shut up!'

'Shhh,' hissed Luffy. 'Chopper. Your hearing's better than anyone else's. Come over here and listen. I want to know what happens next.'


In the street, time seemed to have stopped, and the silence stretched. Nami had actually taken a step away from Sanji, as if respecting his personal space now could somehow make up for her venomous words. Her mind raced: What in All Blue had made her say that? Sanji never used an egg timer. He could prepare a perfect four-minute-and-thirty-four-seconds egg down to the last second without ever once consulting a watch. Every Straw Hat knew that.

And now Sanji stood there, gazing past her at the darkness between two buildings. Looking cold, looking distant.

'I – ,' Nami began, then stopped. She wasn't prepared to apologize. Hell, he'd provoked her, hadn't he? Practically started this row by suggesting she needed his help to handle a tavern clumsy...

He patted his jacket for cigarettes.

'Sanji?'

Still not looking at her, he produced the box and put a cigarette in his mouth.

'Maybe – maybe we both got carried away a bit,' Nami suggested.

Sanji fumbled for his lighter.

'Sanji?' Irritation crept into Nami's voice, but it wasn't directed at the cook. She was thinking about Luffy. Where was he when she needed him to maneuvre out of this awkward situation? 'It's getting late. Don't just stand there, smoking. Let's go back to the Going Merry and find the others.'

Sanji took the smoke out of his mouth and regarded at it as if he'd never paused to look at a cigarette before. 'Nami?'

'Yes?' Don't look at that thing, dammit. Look at me!

'Got a light on you?'


'He asked for a light,' Chopper translated, holding a paw behind his ear and listening concentratedly.

'Huh?' Luffy looked up at Robin. 'A light?'

Robin smiled her enigmatic smile and held up a lighter well-known to the Straw Hats.

Zoro guffawed.

'You nicked Sanji's lighter?'asked Usopp, perplexed. 'But when? How?'

'I had a lot of helping hands at my disposal. And plenty of opportunity while he was busy hugging the tavern girls.'

'Idiot cook,' growled Zoro.


In the street, Nami patted her tight shorts and shirt and eventually admitted that, no, she had no light on her.

'Shit,' said Sanji, who'd continued searching his own pockets. 'All I got left are some old-fashioned matches and nothing to strike them on.'

He presented the small sticks to Nami.

She narrowed her eyes. 'What's the problem? Something wrong with your soles?'

'Stuck,' Sanji put on a crooked smile and shoved his hands in his pockets.

Alarmed, Nami checked the mobility of her feet. They were perfectly okay. So was the surface of the street, and she felt a little silly. Well, what with the things they'd seen, you could never know. Just to make sure, she asked, 'Stuck? What do you mean, "stuck"?'

'Stalled by King Booze.' Sanji shrugged nonchalantly, the cold smoke between his teeth.

Nami's eyes widened, 'You mean you're too drunk to strike a match against you sole? Don't be silly! I saw you going up that wall and smash a shoe down on that man.'

'Ah, the blessings of forms and training routines in martial arts.' Sanji shrugged again. 'Once you've reached a certain level of mastery they tend to become an automatism. Striking a match seems easy. But it can be so much more complex in comparison. Hey. If you're going to laugh - '

'I'm not going to laugh.' Nami sighed and reached out her hand. 'Give me a match.'

She took a match, striked it against the sole of her shoe and offered it to Sanji. Behind their cupped hands he lit his cigarette and took a long pull.

'Thanks,' he said, looking considerably relieved as the blue smoke started curling upward.

Nami shook the match and dropped it.

'Come on,' she offered. 'I'll take you home.'


'No, no, no, no – no!' said Chopper, exasperated, shaking his head. 'Nicotine on top! That human is a doctor's nightmare come true! Does he know what he's doing?'

'Well, at any rate he's not doing what he's supposed to,' growled Zoro.

'Patience,' said Robin. 'They still have a little walk ahead of them.'

Chopper continued making his professional point, 'We've got to get Sanji to rest. He can't go on like this for much longer.'

'He can,' assured Robin.

'Well, he shouldn't,' the reindeer insisted.

'That's a different thing.'

'Oi. Zoro's gone,' said Usopp.

'Wonder what he's up to?' said Luffy.

Robin smiled, standing silent and tall like a dark angel.

+++End of Chapter 1+++

A/N: Well, they are on their way now. :) I was having a little problems saving the layout, so if you happen to be re-reading: Sorry for the initial confusion. And please, review :)