Dean looked at the grave of the man he secretly loved. One tear escaped his eye, than another, until he thought he couldn't cry anymore. "Damn it Cass," he cursed, "I knew you needed me, I knew I needed to be there, but i wasn't," Dean hit his head against the stone that said Castiel. Just Castiel. No other words. No reason of death. Just Castiel. Dean laid the flowers down on the grass in front of it and let out more tears. Someone came up from behind him.

"Sir, it's almost closing time," The voice said.

"Fifteen more minutes?" Dean asked.

The man was about to say something but silently nodded and walked away.

"Cass I love you, I didn't know how to tell you when you were here, but now that you're not here it seems a hell of a lot easier," He tried to say more but it all was muffled due to his crying. Finally Dean said more, "Cass if you can hear me, if you are a ghost or anything I freakin' love you. I would do anything to get you back. I would rather tell you in person than at your grave but Cass I miss you and I need you," he was going to say more but stopped. He kicked the grave and walked away cursing.

"Dean are you ok?" Sam asked as he looked at Dean who was chasing the last three Cherios around the bowl of milk with his spoon, "You seem a little off."

Dean looked up, his eyes were red from crying, "ya, I-I'm just tired."

"Dean you've been using that same escuse for a week now. You need to get over Cass, its been a year now," Sam said clenching his fists.

Dean looked up at him, dropped his spoon in his milk, and walked back to his room.

Sam sighed as he dropped his head on the table. It was a little harsh but it has been a long time since Cass died.

A moment later Dean came back out with the keys to the motorcycle that he hated. "Dean where are you going?" Sam asked.

"For a drive," Dean mumbled as he shuffled out the door.

The motorcycle hummed with life as Dean looked around. He stood at the grave of Cass. "If I don't see you when I do this, I want you to know I truely love you," Dean said as a tear fell down his cheek. This time only one fell.

He walked out the entrance of the courtyard and climed on his motorcycle. He sighed as he put the keys in and looked up. The last thing he saw was a tree.

"Dean! Dean!" someone was yelling as Dean came to.

"Sam?" Dean asked quietly.

"Dean are you ok? What the hell were you thinking?" Sam asked.

Dean thought about telling him the truth but decided not to. "Sam," was all he ended up saying.

Later that night Dean was brought back to the bunker.

"Dean I still can't belive you tried to kill yourself!" Sam exclaimed, "Where you even thinking about me?" Sam yelled.

Dean looked down. "Yes," he sighed, "I was thinking about everything, you, dad, mom," he was going to add Cass but didn't want to start crying.

Sam rolled his eyes, "I'm going to sleep. Don't try to kill yourself again," he said.

Dean pulled a picture of Cass out of his pocket and smiled. He than thought of all the times they spent togther and thought of if Cass liked him the way Dean liked Cass.

"Cass if you can hear me please give me a sign that you are here," he said.

Nothing happened and Dean sighed. He put the picture on the table and got a bottle of beer. Beer made everything better.

The next day Sam woke up to see Dean asleep on the couch. He smiled. Dean woke up. "Hey Dean," Sam said, "how you feeling?" he asked.

"Like shit," Dean replied. Sam bit his tounge. Soon Sams girlfriend came downstairs and kissed Sam. Dean sighed and rolled over on the couch wishing he could do that to Cass.

"Dean me and Sarah are going to run to the store, need anything?" Sam asked.

"More beer," Dean replied.

When they were gone Dean sat up and looked in a mirror. He looked horrible. He sighed and went to go sit down again. He heard a loud clatter coming from the kitchen. He got up not grabbing a gun and walked to the kitchen. Laying on the floor was a pan that was apperantly made from a company in Mexico called Cas. Dean smiled a little. "Cass are you here?" he asked somewhat excited. A candle lit and Deans smile grew. "Cass if you couldn't hear me before I love you," he said not afraid to say it anymore.

"I know," a voice behind him said.

Dean turned around and threw his arms around him. He buried his face into the familar trench coat and let out a few tears. They were tears of joy. Cass hugged him back and whispered, "I love you too,"

Dean hugged him even tighter, and knowing the moment couldn't last forever eventually let go.

"How? How are you here?" Dean asked.

Cass had a wide grin on his face, "Honestly I don't know. I was dead one second and now here I am. I'm not a ghost either," He said.

Dean smiled. "I missed you," he admitted.

Cass looked down not knowing what to say. "Why didn't you tell me before? That you loved me?"

Dean stared at the floor wondering how to answer. "Because," he paused, "Because I didn't know how to tell you," he said. Cass knew that it was also because he was scared to tell him.

Dean knew it was akward but he kissed him. Not on the cheek, not on the hand, but on the lips. He was going to pull away but Cass hugged him. Soon they heard the door open and quickly pulled away.

"Dean I'm here!" Sam yelled walking in the kitchen. He dropped both of his bags suprised to see Cass. "Cass?" He asked.

"In the flesh," He said with a smile. Sam shook his hand. "How?" he asked.

Cass told the same thing he told Dean.