The train station was quiet, almost silent. There was nothing to be heard, other than the faint sound of singing crickets and the odd whoosh of a train in the distance. All of the day's commuters had gone home, resting in their beds. What staff remained stared at books or leaflets, sipping strong, bitter cups of coffee, trying to grasp onto what little alertness they could to carry on counting down the minutes until they could go home. Occasionally they would hear the sound of distant echoes of footsteps, and look around futilely to see if there was anyone around to assist. But there was no one there. No one except a sad looking girl sitting on a bench by the rails, staring blankly at the next platform over and absent mindedly fiddling with her suitcase, her brown eyes shining with unshed tears.
Lucy had been dreading this day. She had been planning it for a week, and it had come faster than she ever had intended. Everything had worked out perfectly, to a T, which was strange, given that Team Natsu was almost impossible to organise without something being broken in the process. It was almost as if the universe wanted this to happen. Natsu and Happy had gone home without a fuss when she told them she wanted a night alone, appeased by a sordidly large meal she had paid for. Erza and Gray has understood when she had asked for a break from missions for a while, not asking questions when she had claimed it was due to the anniversary of her mother's death. They merely looked at her with caring, warm eyes, and promised to keep Natsu quiet for a while. That was what broke her heart the most, not only using her mother to lie, but that they had believed her without suspicion. They had no reason to suspect her of lying, they understood the pain, they trusted her, and she broke that trust.
Looking down at her shoes, Lucy took a shaky sigh, and ran a hand through her hair. 'It doesn't matter', she told herself. 'Most likely, they will never see me again. In time they'll forget.' Yeah. Sure. Because Fairy Tail forgot their family so easily.
"Miss…?" A voice jolted her out of her thoughts, and she looked up at a very exhausted member of staff. He smiled wearily. "I'm sorry. Your train is here." She looked up, wondering how her thoughts had managed to pull her so deep that she had missed the sound of a train pull up right in front of her. Standing up and slinging her bag over her shoulder and picking up her suitcase, she looked back at the man, and quietly said, "Thank you", before turning and climbing onto the train.
It was almost completely empty, as expected, but Lucy chose to sit in a private compartment, anyway. She could feel the tears threaten to spill over, and she couldn't risk creating a scene. Not now. She carefully placed her suitcase on the overhead shelf, a task she realised was a lot more difficult without Natsu trying to help her. But she managed, and quickly sat as the ticket inspector came her way. Without a word, she held out her ticket.
"So where are you headed, miss? It's an odd time to travel, don't you think?" He asked, carefully stamping the ticket. She smiled courteously, and merely said;
"A long way away. I had to be there as soon as possible. Now seemed like the best time to avoid the rush." 'Liar, you know what you want to avoid.' She thought. Her smile became strained. The inspector was oblivious, though, as he handed back the ticket with a lazy grin.
"Right you are, miss. I hope nothing is wrong, at least! Have a pleasant journey." He said, continuing to move down the train. Lucy sighed and leant back into her seat. Her hands began to shake, knowing what was coming next. She had been dreading this more than getting on the train, but it had to be done. She reached for her bag, and pulled out the letter. As the train pulled out of the station, she read it over and over, as she had when she first received it, trying to find some loop hole, something, anything that meant she didn't have to do this. But the message was clear. So she carefully folded the letter back up, placed it back in her bag, and looked at the back of her right hand. The symbol of her new found family stood stark against her even paler skin.
"Lucy had never known why the act of removing one's own guild mark was so abhorrent with the others. She never truly understood when Natsu told her Yukino was broken by Sabertooth's punishment. She sympathised, of course, but she couldn't understand. But faced with the prospect now, she understood just how terrifying it was. She was about to rip away her identity, her family, her home.
Taking a deep breath, she forced her hands to still, as she placed her left hand over her mark. 'Now or never', she thought, as she focussed her magic into her left palm. She knew the spell. The question was whether she knew it well enough.
Suddenly, she felt unbelievable pain. Not a sharp pain, or even a physical one, but a long, slow, burning pain, focussed on her hand and in her heart. Trying to push through it with a quiet whimper, the tears she had been holding finally spilled over, when unbelievable feelings of loneliness, hopelessness and hurt crawled through every corner of her mind, wiping it blank to any positive feeling she had ever experienced, or so it felt. A numbness spread from her right hand through her whole body. When the spell was complete, she fell back carelessly into the seat, not even realising she had been tensed into a ball the entire time. It had only been a few seconds, but it felt like hours. Hours of despair.
Now she understood, she knew why only the guild master could safely remove a guild mark. They were like trained surgeons. They know just how to remove the mark safely, without causing unnecessary damage. What she had done was the equivalent of voluntarily ripping her heart out with nothing but a blunt butter knife. And damn, did it hurt.
She quietly sobbed, not holding back her tears this time, watching the lights of Magnolia fade into the distance. 'It's so beautiful', she thought, as at last the town disappeared behind a hill.
"I'm so sorry", she whispered, cradling her hand to her broken heart.
Hi all! I just want to give you a heads up. While this will be a multiple chapter fanfic, I will probably not be uploading the next chapter for another few months, so you might want to follow before you forget if you want to read more. This was a late night bout of procrastination, and I have a dissertation due in a month, so I really can't afford to write more right now. But rest assured, I have had this story in my head since September, and I've been going crazy wanting to write it down, so once uni is done, there'll be nothing to stop me!
