Ciel watched his butler from his window.

This had turned into one of the earl's favorite hobbies, watching Sebastian garden through the large window in his study. The demon had such elegance about him, he moved so swiftly, with every movement blending gracefully in one fluid step. His fingers worked with the plants so carefully, never breaking or bending a single one, treating them as if they were all alive and he knew them personally. His sense of aesthetics was so refined; he knew where to put each individual bud and blossom to make the garden look its best. With his thoughtful eyes scanning the area in front of him, Sebastian could pick out every unruly weed and wildflower and remove the unsightly blooms.

Yes, watching his butler could put Ciel at ease, no matter what was going on around him. These moments, with earl hiding behind glass and butler hiding behind flowers, were the only moments Ciel could let his emotion play out on his face. He could show the world his happiness and peace. But the world never saw him from the confines of his study. But if he closed his eyes, Ciel could almost imagine Sebastian looking at him with the same passion and care he looked at the flowers with. Ciel could almost feel those gloved fingers running down his arm and caressing his cheek, telling the young boy his schedule for the day.

These were the moments Ciel looked forward to. Seeing his savior like this, reassured Ciel that everything, no matter what, would always turn out fine. No matter how many times Finny destroyed the garden; Sebastian was there to fix it. No matter how many awful predicaments and kidnappings Ciel found himself stuck in, he knew Sebastian would be there to save him.

But these were also the moments Ciel hated most. He had never seen the kind, caring expression on Sebastian's face during these moments ever directed at him. Ciel wouldn't go as far as to say he was jealous of a bunch of plants. However, there was one thing Ciel would admit to being jealous to though. This was also the reason why Ciel would never confess. He would never, could never tell his butler how he felt because… because Sebastian loved someone else.

Sebastian had said it himself. One day, Ciel decided he desired to know more about his inhuman butler. Asking his about his life before contracting the boy destined to death, Ciel had discovered something he would have had preferred never to have known.

Sebastian was married.

Sebastian had twin daughters.

Besides being the most devastating, heart-crushing news, it was also the most obvious. Of course Sebastian was married. What was Ciel expecting, for Sebastian to love what was soon to become his meal? For Sebastian to love a much younger human who couldn't even tie his own shoes? For Sebastian to love Ciel? That was impossible and the young earl knew it. Nothing he said or offered could ever change that. Ciel could never give Sebastian what his wife couldn't. Ciel could never give Sebastian children or clean the house when he was away. Ciel could never do any of that.

So the love-struck boy had unhappily resigned himself to living with the man he loved, and leaving the other to live without this information.

Because what was he supposed to do, confess?

Ciel Phantomhive would never confess. He would never get in the way of Sebastian's current relationship. Because how could a demon ever love a human?

I found out I might be bi. (Please don't let that scare you off). I know a girl. I like her. And I mean, like her like her. I was going to tell her today. Then she told me she got a new girlfriend. I just about died on the spot. Went to my study period and moped. Unashamedly. I have every reason to mope. So deal with this slightly gloomy fanfic.