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Forgive me any grammatical errors. Like that one...

Summary: Every year Susan writes three letters to the three people she misses most, and three people write a letter to Susan… Sibling bonding, non-slash.

Letters from a lost Soul

I remember that day more clearly than the rest, I think we all did. It was just so real… more than anything other…

Susan Liyal's neat handwriting flowed across the thick paper as if she was writing for the Lord himself.

She wasn't, she was merely writing for the 13th anniversary. To many people this date meant nothing. But to Susan it meant everything.

Every year on this exact date at around noon Susan would walk down to the grave yard, she would then read the letters aloud to the person before placing the letter on the grave and walk away.

Her husband said it was not healthy. Patrick Liyal said she that doing this just made her cry and he hated to see her sad. Her response was simple. If she cried on this day she would be able to handle the rest of the year.

Her children knew about their aunts and uncles who had been killed in 'that awful incident', but they did not know that their mother would go and cry her eyes out once every year over them.

Her friends did not understand. Susan had always talked about how much her sibling annoyed her and how she could not stand to be around them. They had understood tears the first couple years, but at this point in a person's life most people would miss them fondly, not with heart wrenching grief like Susan.

I would tell you what her relatives thought of this odd custom of Susan's however the only relatives she had where distant and hardly associated with Susan.

Susan herself would never explain what she would write in these letters. All she would say was that 'you would not understand, you could never understand'. Patrick accepted this, the children did not know, and her friends thought she was crazy.

So when Susan placed on her black hat and walked down the stairs with a bundle of letters clutched in her hand her husband kissed her cheek and let her pass without comment.

The cemetery was something Susan had never liked, it was bland and dark. It was rare even to see a bird nesting in the trees that surrounded the place. Susan's feet made no sound on the wet grass, and the flowers gave off no sent.

When she reached the graves she stood for a moment and let the cool wind rustle through her dark hair.

There were nine graves in total, seven for the incident she came for today, and the other two (her parents) for another tragic moment in Susan's stained past.

The seven stones could not have been duller. Date of birth and date of death was proceeded by a name all in the same bland handwriting.

Though there were seven graves she only ever wrote three letters. She felt it was not fair to write more than that, for then she would be writing things she would not be sure about, and for Susan that was too hard.

She tried not to look at the graves as she pulled out the first letter (at random) but she could feel their presence pulling her forward.

She looked down at the letter her handwriting was easy to read.

Lucy

Susan tore her eyes from the letter for a moment, she closed her eyes and pretend she was somewhere far away…

Then she opened the thick paper, her hands trembling as if she did not know what the letter contained.

To my dearest Litter Sister,

Susan took a deep shuddering breathe and looked around the graveyard. As far as she could tell no one was around. She turned back to the letter eyes stinging and began to read. Before she started she sunk to the ground sitting in a most un-lady like manner on the grassy bank of the cemetery.

In my last letter I told you that I missed you, like I have every year. This year again I must tell you that I miss you more than anything in the entire world (and not just this one).

I have a story for you Lucy. Thomas (you remember me talking about my son right?) told me that they were kind creatures and that he wanted one as a pet. I could not help but think of you Lucy. What would you have said to your little nephew if he told you he wanted a pet Lion?

Susan smiled through the tears that had clouded her eyes.

Oh Lucy if only you could have been there to tell him that Lions where not pets. I could not; I was too caught up in trying to think of what you would have said to him.

There where smudges on this part of the parchment where Susan's tears had fallen.

I guess you expect me to tell you about all the wondrous and terrible things that have been happening in my life so you can know what has been happing. But this time I do not want to. This time to want to remember.

I have been trying to remember lately. I mean more that any person should. I want to remember every detail Lucy. I want to remember what everything smelled like, and the taste on my tongue.

Do you understand Lucy?

I remember the banquets and the feasts and the battles. But I want to remember more.

Like Remember those flowers we got from Germighte? They were five colors, red, pink, purple, yellow, and orange. Each flowers had eight petals and the stems where two shades of green. I remember all that. But I can't remember what they smelt like. I remember that we loved it. Edmund thought it was so 'girly' and Peter sneezed when he went near them. But I don't remember what they smelt like…

It's not that big a deal… but I wish I could remember. And that's only one example.

I can't remember what color of the curtains in my room either. They where blue right? But sometimes I think they where green… I guess it does not matter. Who really cares, As long as I remember the important things. But I can't help thinking that because I am forgetting these little things that I may be forgetting the biggest thing of all… But if there is something I am forgetting I don't think there is any hope of me remembering at this point. So I guess I am not forgetting anything…

I miss you Lucy…

I wish you could have been here.

Maybe then I could remember…

Love from your sister

Susan

By this point Susan's had tears cascading down her face. If she had been wearing makeup the black marks would be making her look as if she had been punched. However Susan had not worn makeup (dark makeup that is) in 10 years.

The letter was not much; in fact it made little sense when you thought about it. But that did not matter, Susan had written it for her sister and that is all the really mattered.

Susan folded the letter back up and placed it to her right on the soft grass.

She waited a moment, letting wind kiss her face then she pulled out another letter.

Edmund

Susan's hand shook as she pulled this letter out. After all Edmunds letter was always the hardest to write. Not that she loved him more or less than her other siblings. But the last words she had said to him where out of spite.

My little brother,

I know what you would say if you saw this letter. You would just wave it off and say "Susan it is not big deal. I know you did not mean it." But I still mean every word I say Ed.

I'm sorry.

I know that on that last day when you called to ask me if I was going to come that you really wanted me there. I let you down. I told you that I never wanted to talk about that place again.

Looking back at that I realize how stupid I was. I would do anything to go back to the moment and ask you to wait for me to come.

I can see you shaking your head at me and telling me that I am being stupid and I need to stop asking for your forgiveness because you never held it against me.

But really Edmund you are the last person who should be lecturing people on letting something go.

Still Edmund, I am sorry.

You would not believe what happened last week Edmund. Someone came to the door, which looked exactly like our favorite Calomen prince.

In fact I even said "Rabadash what are you doing in London!" Before I realized that it was just the neighbor's nephew coming to talk to Patrick.

Susan smiled through her tears at the memory. For a moment she had actually thought she was back in Narnia when the Price was visiting.

He also sounded just like that terrible price the way he asked Patrick for a loan. You remember Patrick runs a back right? I believe I said that awhile ago… anyway Patrick didn't give him a loan; good thing too he was a terrible man.

I wish you had been there Edmund, you would have said some awful things to him just because he reminded you of someone who had hurt me. That's alright though.

Anyway Edmund I love you and I want you to always know that I never meant what I said and if I would I would take it all back.

With all the love,

Susan

Susan was smiling for she could picture Edmunds expression as though he was right in front of her, he was smiling, but shaking his head making it known that she had no reason to apologize.

Susan, still with a sad smile on her face, picked up the next letter

Peter

Susan unfolded the letter while the tears started to come harder, this was her older brother, the one who had always protected her, the one who she had yelled at...

To my ever loving brother,

Remember that argument we had when we were on the way to America? When I first mentioned that Narnia was a funny memory? At the time I didn't mean it, I was only saying I had forgotten because there where people around and you where talking about something that to me was embracing. A game we played as children.

I still wonder what made me do that. When he got back from America I still believed, I believed every word of Lucy and Edmunds story.

I thought it was easier to not believe though.

I believed it though. I sincerely did. I believed I was doing the right thing in trying to forget, and I don't understand how I could have tried to make you understand that.

I was wrong Peter, I know that now. In fact I knew that on The Day.

It had been after Susan had hung up the phone with Edmund that she had felt and odd tugging at the back of her heart. At the time she had ignored it, however at ten to four, when the train would be arriving Susan heart had been in so much pain that she had run out of the house intending on getting a taxi to take to the station… but she had stopped halfway there. For her heart had suddenly broken…

It had been five hours later that the police had come and confirmed what she already knew in her heart.

To this day Peter I have no idea how I knew you were gone. I guess it does not really matter how I knew, but the fact I did. There was a family down the street who lost their seven year old daughter to a car incident, when I heard I went to see them and give my condolences. They were in tears throughout the whole conversation as I told them about how I had lost my whole family in one day. I cried with them.

Susan was crying harder now, her voice shaking as she read the words off the paper.

I love you Peter, and I always will, I will never forget you. And I will always believe.

Forever,

Susan

This letter had been the shortest. Mostly because she had been crying so hard when she wrote it that she could not stop her hand from shaking.

Susan took a deep shuttering breath. Then she stood, the letters still clutched in her hand.

The cemetery looked much the same as it had when she had first arrived, grey/green grass, silent, and sad.

She then took each letter and placed it on the proper grave.

For a moment she looked at the letters resting on the soft ground.

Susan turned and walked through the dim gates of the graveyard. She didn't look back. Once outside she took out the cloth inside her pocket and wiped her eyes, then standing tall Susan made her way back into the dismal streets of London.

Behind her the wind changed, blowing towards the east. The letters for a moment flapped on the ground.

The first letter started to flap across the ground before drifting up into the wind. The second was tossed up before is hit the third letter which had skidded around the stone for a moment. Then all three letters rose high into the air drifting off into the east.

A small girl holding her mother's hand looked up at the sky and saw three papers drifting across the sky.

"Mama, mama look!" she said pulling on the adults hand and pointed to the sky. "What are those?"

The mother looked at the papers floating in the wind. "I don't know sweetie, someone must have lost them."

"Will they miss them?" The little girl asked looking at the papers at they disappeared into the blue sky.

"Oh I am sure they will, however they will move on, maybe the papers will even be returned to them one day." She answered smiling at her small child.

"I hope so." The daughter said sincerely "losing something is always hard."

The mother laughed at her daughters words as the two walked home.

The letters meanwhile had started to go faster, twisting and turning in their own personal gale. They flew over the city, over fields, over forests, over woods, and finally over the sea…

"Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see."~C.S. Lewis Quotes

tbc…

So this was going to a one shot, however I am going to add one more chapter that will be short, but I think you will like it!

PLEASE REVIEW!