Old Man Ansem was hoping around
The World that Never Was like a big playground
When suddenly Vexen burst from the shades
And hit Old Man Ansem with a Vexen grenade.
Old Man Ansem got pissed and began to attack,
But didn't expect to be fought by Auron!
Who proceeded to open a can of Auron foo,
Until Roxas came out of the blue
He was beaten up by Auron,
And they both got flattened by the Vexen mobile.
Before he could make it back to the Vexen Cave,
Axel! (^_^) popped out of his grave
And pulled an AK-47 out from under his spikes,
And blew Vexen away with a rata-tat-tat
But he ran out of bullets and ran away
Because Mickey Mouse came to save the day!
Chorus:
This is the Ultimate Battle,
Of retardation.
Somebodies, nobodies and heartless
Absolute chaos,
This makes no sense but we'll sing it,
Anyway
This is the Ultimate Battle,
Of retardation!
Old Man Ansem took a bite out of Mickey Mouse,
like Speedy Gonzalez took a bite out of tacos.
Auron came back covered with a tire track,
and Zexion jumped and he landed on his back.
And Vexen was injured and trying to get steady,
While Axel came back a machete,
But suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped.
Marluxia and Venasaur took him out with a vine whip.
And he saw Old Man Ansem sneaking up from behind
And he reached for his scythe which he just couldn't find,
'Cos Vexen stole it but he was dumb and he tripped,
Zexion deflected the petals with his fist,
And he jumped in the air and he did a summer salt,
While Axel tried to pole vault
Onto Mickey Mouse but they collided in the air,
And they both got hit by a Xion stare!
Chorus
Heartless sang out in immaculate chorus,
When down from the Heavens descended Sephiroth
Who delivered a stab which could shatter planets,
Into the crotch of Marluxia's pants.
Who recalled his Pokemon,
And he cried in pain,
As Vexen changed back into an alien.
But Sephiroth saw through his stupid disguise
And he stuffed Vexen's head with banana fries!
Then Leon the Great and Mansex the White,
Cloud, Arieth, Yuffie, and Nobodies of all kind,
Larexene with Genie, Demyx is a weenie
Luxord with his cards, Xigbar's drunk and sleazy,
Terra, Sora, Namine, Riku, Ansem, Pete,
Xaldin's sideburns too, Goofy, Donald,
Leaxuas, Mulan, Hades, Mushu, Simba,
And Tron!
All came out of nowhere, landing fast,
and they kicked Sephiroth in his dark mystical ass
It was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw,
with civilians being all "WTF?"
The fight raged on a few days or so,
Many lives were claimed,
Even the Naruto show.
But the victor finally stood,
the rest saw their better,
A blood stained moogle in a very fuzzy sweater!
Chorus
