I remembered my first day of school. How this brown haired boy would chase all the girls. He went for them one by one. First he hunted down Sakura, her pink haired best friend. When he had her back up against the wall he leaned in. I could see that Sakura was fighting him but I was too far away.
I was in the soccer field playing ball even if the boy had tried to refuse my friend, Tenten and me.
Girls didn't play soccer. They were supposed to play on the swings, with dolls and skip rope.
I wanted to move around, I wanted to run and I wanted to play soccer. I had told the teacher and he had forced the boys to play with us. I remember tackling that one dark haired boy Sasuke and sending him to the nurses office. That hadn't earned me their respect. The incident had lost me my femininity. I was now a butch monster, not a girl.
All this happened after Sakura got cornered and captured by Kiba and wasn't really relevant to the incident being described.
He had a wild look in his eyes. Sakura tried to push him off screaming now. She punched him, kicked him and scratched him to no avail.
He came closer to her face. She didn't know what was about to happen. She didn't know why he was up all in his face. She was probably afraid he was going to bite her or something in that area.
He didn't.
He leaned in.
He kissed her.
He kissed her without her permission. She squirmed tried to stop him. She hadn't wanted to kiss him. She wasn't strong enough to fight him off.
Kiba was a first grader who collected kisses. He chased after all the girl one by one and all of them fell victim for him. Helpless and without mercy they were all kissed by him. The other boys thought kissing girls was disgusting but they all cheered them on seeing how the girls feared and fought him.
I was well aware that my day would come and if surely did. He had saved me as one of the last girls, I might have been the last girl too. I still remember it.
It was recess, we had just eaten lunch and we were all outside playing. The better part of our class was playing tag. I hadn't known who was chasing me. I just heard steps and ran too. Someone grabbed my pony tail from behind breaking the rules. You're supposed to tag not yank. I stomped on his feet.
I heard the air leave his lungs. It didn't stop him. He still swung me around. Most of the children were watching and a few were still running. They all knew what was bound to happen. Kiba was about to collect me.
As he came closer I clawed him in the face, right then left. I pushed him on the ground and ran. I didn't want to kiss him and it should have been my choice to kiss someone. I didn't want him to be my first kiss. I wanted it to be special and with someone I cared for.
Kiba had gotten up minutes later when the teacher saw him and rushed over to his limp body lying on the ground.
When recess ended I was called into the principal's office. I was in trouble for hurting Kiba. Not a word about why I had done it. I was the one in trouble.
The next recess Sakura yelled at me. She was mad at me for not stopping Kiba when she was assaulted. She was mad that I had been strong enough to fight him. She was mad that I hadn't been kissed. Screamed that I had deserved it and she hoped he would try again.
He didn't though.
It was funny that I had gotten in trouble and lost my best friend because I wouldn't let a boy kiss me against my will.
In third grade a rumor circled. Tenten had sucked off an eighth grader behind the school next to the soccer field she practically lived on.
It had been Kisame, the friend of Sasuke's brother, Itachi.
I hadn't known what a blow job had been until Tenten confirmed the rumor and explained. I had been mortified. I had been disgusted. As far as I knew boys used their dicks to pee with only. She had only been nine at the time. She hadn't even reached double digits.
The thought haunted me. Sucking dick. I certainly didn't want any part of that. Tenten didn't mind. She got to play with the older boys if she got down on her knees. She was too young to actually know what she was doing. She didn't know it was sex. She didn't know it was bad.
Problems had arisen when she had been caught one day.
The gingered ninth grader Sasori had pulled up his pants and tried to pretend like nothing. Tenten's pants were wet on the knees from the ground when she was pulled to the principal's office. She was explained what was wrong, why she wasn't allowed to preform blow jobs on the boys in middle school. Sasori had gotten a scolding from their teacher who rushed sex ed to prevent anything like this happening again.
Too bad it only gave the teenage boys more inspiration.
Too bad nobody told Tenten that hand jobs were also off limits.
She was still allowed to play with the older boys.
In seventh grade people started sending love notes, having valentines and dates. It was also the year we started learning about our bodies. It was on a scientific level only. We girls were told about sex. I learned what sex was in seventh grade. I was one of the few who had learned something new.
I wouldn't say I've lived a sheltered life.
There was nothing that was off limits at home. I was allowed to watch whatever I wanted on the internet and television. I had up until that day sincerely thought sleeping together meant just that, sleeping. I had told several of my female friends that I used to sleep with my childhood friend Shikamaru.
They had looked up to me when I told them. He wasn't as innocent as me, he had several times corrected me saying he or I had slept over. Still the boys would wink at him and the girls giggle.
I stopped saying that I used to sleep with Shikamaru and we stopped having sleep overs all together.
Over the summer we started eight grade and we were all teen agers. We were officially teens and we felt old. We felt grown up and mature enough to make our own decisions.
Temari the new girl was a new addition to our class. She quickly became one of us girls. We shared everything. Sakura told us she was the first to have a boyfriend, Sasuke. I couldn't tell her I had the same feelings for him. I couldn't. Our friendship had never recovered and we merely tolerated each other for the sake of the group.
Tenten was the second to get a boyfriend. Neji. He went to an all-boys private school. We had never seen him. She didn't mind telling us what they talked about, what she allowed him to do to her, what they did together and how they both enjoyed it.
Temari wanting to up everyone told us how she had slept with a boy before she moved. He had been her first boyfriend and they had decided to have sex before she moved. She told us every detail. That included her and his face and sounds. She illustrated their position with the help of quiet and shy Hinata who didn't seemed shocked with all of it.
There was one thing missing from Temari's story. The part where they had learned about reproducing and using protection to preventing Temari from getting pregnant. Temari wasn't part of our group for long. She was thirteen and pregnant. Her parents pulled her out of school as soon as she started showing.
Temari had expected to surprise everyone with her story. It didn't. Everyone in the group thought she was the second of us to have sex thanks to my linguistically blunder. All eyes were on me and Tenten asked me if it had been the same for me, Sakura joined in wanting me to tell the full story too. I said I wasn't one to kiss and tell.
After Temari started showing our teacher sent home a letter. Our school would teach sex education early. Parents who didn't want their children to be part of the class was asked to keep their children at home the following Friday.
I had to take home an extra note.
Our teacher had heard about the rumors of Shikamaru and me. He wanted to voice concern about me, asking my parents to pay extra attention to me.
It was humiliating. Father was enraged. I tried to tell him it was all a misunderstanding. He wouldn't have any of it. He wouldn't hear a word. He was friends with Shikamaru's parents and called them as soon as he was done yelling.
Shikamaru with his parents came over straight away. They had gotten the same letter. I tried again telling them the full story. They wouldn't hear it. They initially blamed themselves. They should have known better letting us have sleep overs together. Things were bound to happen.
Shikamaru was a teenager, a teen boy.
I was still a princess. Incapable of having a remotely sexual thought, idea or desire.
It was Shikamaru who had tainted me. It was his fault. A girl could never convince a boy to have sex with her and it couldn't have been a mutual decision either. It had to be him.
I was told by my father that my virginity should have been cherished. It should have been protected. Shikamaru was told none of this. He was free to do as he pleased as long as it wasn't with princess Ino.
Mother being more liberal handed the both of us condoms not speaking a word of the matter. She decided to let teens be teens but she didn't want to become a grandmother. She had heard about Temari. Father asked if we had used protection. I told him once again I was still a virgin. He rushed to the closest pharmacy buying a pregnancy test taking my response as a no. The test came out negative and gave some relief and credibility to our story.
The next day at school I had approached Shikamaru wanting to apologize for the mess I had created. I had asked to speak with him alone. His friend Choji had made the sounds of a feline and Kiba had asked if we were off to do it.
Shikamaru hadn't let me speak before he did what Kiba had tried without succeeding in first grade. He had stolen a kiss. He had stolen my first kiss. I had expected it to be different. To be madly in love when I first kissed someone. He apologized shortly after.
I decided I had enjoyed it. I didn't have romantic feelings for Shikamaru. I did enjoy his company so I kissed him back thinking it would be what he wanted.
That initiated Sakura and Sasuke's make out sessions in the hallway when teachers weren't present. It started their trend of disappearing into empty rooms with locks on the inside. Sakura would never tell what they did in there. My guesses and hopes were that they were just kissing. It was the only thing they did in my mind even if I knew better
Shikamaru and I decided that nothing could ever happen. Our parents would never allow it due to the note we had been sent home with. It wouldn't work.
In tenth grade Temari came back too and they started dating earing Shikamaru the title "playboy," and deemed him a player. Since Temari had put out once she had to do it now too. Shikamaru was the most experience in the class everyone though.
Entering high school there were more pupils from all parts of town. I had already gained a reputation as a slut. Merely because I had long blond hair, a skinny body, larger breasts than all the girls in class, bent the dress code and because everyone though I had lost my virginity to Shikamaru the year before.
First year of high school I started dating. We were placed in new classes and one of the boys asked me out. His name was Sai and was some pale version of Sasuke.
Our date went poorly. It had been my first date ever and he had asked me to sleep with him for paying for our dinner even if I had offered to split the bill. He had told me the most gruesome things the football team had claimed to be doing with them. It had been all lies. Sai didn't believe me and called me a slut tease.
There was no second date.
Not because our first date had ended so poorly. No. That wasn't a problem to him. He daily sent me texts asking for a second date or something more. I would refuse him. I even sent him a long text explaining why. I had to block his number in the end.
It didn't stop him from telling everybody one we were going out. Not as much going out as to having sex at his place, constantly.
Unlike the young girl in the school yard I felt helpless. I couldn't scratch him in his face, I couldn't stop him, and I couldn't do anything but deny the whole thing. After the Shikamaru incident nobody believed me. Not even my closest friends. They demanded details and I wouldn't give them any. They didn't like that. Girl friends shared everything, especially best friends.
Shikamaru approached me on the bus shortly after the rumor started spreading. It felt awkward at first. I knew why he was suddenly seeking contact again. He laughed asking if I remembered the talk at my house. That would be forever etched in my brain.
Then came something else I would never forget.
"I never thought the great Ino Yamanaka would give it up so easy, and to Sai the least. I hope it's not true."
Shikamaru, my childhood friend. The one who had known me the longest thought I had slept with Sai. He believed the nasty rumors. Looking back I wish I had the courage to deny it. Tell him how Sai had harassed me and spread those nasty lies about me.
I sat quietly.
I jumped off at my stop, went home and contacted Sai. If everyone thought the worst what was the harm?
Sai expected me to lay down right from the bat. Everybody already knew so why not just do it? I didn't want to do it with him. I didn't feel that way for him. He wasn't the one for me. I knew that but there was something about him. How he never gave up on me, how sweet his texts had been he was always complimenting me for my beautiful eyes and long slender legs.
I e
went out with Sai for a month. He kept pestering me to sleep with him. I wasn't ready for that. I had only kissed two boys so far in my life. I didn't want it. I wasn't mature enough and I knew there was no rush.
High school and Sai introduced me to home parties. At home parties there was alcohol. Sai would always make sure to get me drunk and find a room where we could be alone. He told everyone we were having sex and I didn't fight it. We never did but there was no harm in saying we were everyone though so anyway.
Sai was growing bolder by the party in those rooms alone with me. At first it was just innocent kissing, then making out, then he started putting his hands down my panties. I didn't enjoy it. It didn't make me feel good and I would always push him away. He never learned.
At the last part I had fallen asleep on the bed. I had too much to drink. He awoke me by slapping my cheek with his cock. It was my first meeting with a real male reproductive organ.
It terrified me. I had seen pictures. I knew what it looked like. I didn't know what it looked like right in my face. I pushed him away. I didn't utter a word to him. He told me it was a joke and asked me just to taste it. Just a little, just having it in my mouth would be fine.
It wouldn't be fine. I courtly told him what I felt about it.
He didn't take it good. It wasn't fair to him. We were going out and he should the least get an occasional blow and hand job if I was going to be wearing a chastity belt.
He didn't get it. I wasn't ready for sex. I had no desire. I had yet to be horny.
I didn't want to be pressured into anything. I had tried masturbating several times on my own. In the bath, under my covers, watching porn, thinking about men I found attractive celebrities as well as men from my life. Nothing had worked. I didn't have any sexual desires.
This night I decided I wouldn't drink anything Sai put in front of me. I would get my own drinks and make sure I didn't end up in any room alone with him.
The party started out easy and slow. Temari hadn't gotten a babysitter for her son but the rest of the crew had showed up. It was a regular party beside that it was Sakura's first party since her boyfriend had dumped her. She was in desperately in need of some TLC and attention.
Sai didn't like that. He often came by encouraging me to do shots. Sakura complimented him on how fun he was. Her next boyfriend would definitively be fun like him. The group gushed over Sai. They had been so pleased when they heard that we had started going out as in dating and not casually having sex.
They had all scolded me for turning him down. It didn't help the case that I had showed him the texts he had sent me, all the dirty things he had written he wanted to do to me. It showed that he was passionate they had told me and asked since when was Ino Yamanaka a prude.
She had always been but they had placed me as a slut. It was ridiculous. They were hardly eight year but the main topics of conversations were sex and drinking. I was only fourteen and they thought I had had multiple partners. I hadn't had a single sexual desire.
It left me thinking there was something wrong with me.
I was the only one in the group who didn't want to talk about sex. I still had teddy bears in my room. I was immature and needed to grow up. I started thinking that sleeping with Sai wouldn't have been the worst decision.
I went over to the couch and sat down next to the black haired boy. It was just that it was the wrong black haired boy. It was Sasuke.
He told me that I had come over to beg him to take Sakura back or that he had done a mistake he didn't want to hear it. I hadn't come over to talk to him about Sakura. He awarded me with a drink and I took it.
I hung around him for a while. I had for several years thought he was the most handsome man I had ever seen. I concluded that those feelings were gone.
A few shots later I couldn't take the lingering looks from my friends and excused myself. I was breaking the rules. I was supposed to hate Sasuke for breaking up with Sakura. I never saw the reason or logic behind that. Sasuke had never done anything to me.
As expected I received a scolding from each of the girls present for talking to Sasuke before they wanted to know what we had talked about, word for word.
I was rather tipsy and repeated as good as I remembered. The topic changed to how horrible Sasuke was and how none of us would ever talk to him even if he was the hottest guy at school. I remember telling them this was all stupid. They asked me to go back to him then if I loved him so much and I did.
I had some more shots. I didn't know where Sai had taken off to. I didn't want to know at the moment because it would mean that I would know who he was with.
Sasuke leaned over and whispered something in my ear. I shook my head. I had no desire to sleep with him. He pretended to start to cry telling me what a great person and friend I was. I felt bad for the boy and lead him into an empty room.
It was all according to his plan. He sat down on the bed with his head hanging low. He started telling me about Sakura and where it went wrong. Sakura had already told some of it but this was Sasuke's perspective.
I didn't know what to say when he was all done. I hadn't wanted to know all of this. I hadn't wanted to know intimate parts of their relationship. I couldn't leave him either. He placed his hand on my inner thigh and thanked me for listening. We were done discussing the subject.
His lips locked with mine. I could feel where one of his wet tears had fallen. I knew my friends would let me hear it the next day. Now I blamed the alcohol flooding in my veins making me take this bad decision.
Sasuke pushed me on my back and lay down next to me. As we were kissing his hand traveled up my skirt. I jumped out of bed ready to leave the room. I didn't want that from him. Not when I was drunk and he had recently broken up with Sakura.
He grabbed my hand to stop me from leaving and told me all the words I wanted to hear. How beautiful I was, how amazing I was and even if I was such a good friend as I was I didn't need to worry about Sakura. We were all mature enough to make our own decisions.
Somewhere along the way we started kissing and somewhere along the road I was pushed down on my knees and once again found myself with a dick in my face. I tried to get up again. I wanted to get away from the wrinkly otter. It was the only thing I could think of a wrinkly otter. They weren't even similar.
His grip on my shoulder was too strong and I couldn't get away. I tried and he placed his other hand under my cheek making me look up at him.
Couldn't I do just this one thing for him?
He was only asking me one thing. He only wanted me to suck it cock. It wasn't any bigger deal than to ask me to take notes for him the day he was sick, share a book when he had forgotten his.
It wasn't a big deal.
If it wasn't a big deal it shouldn't have been a big deal when I told him no. It shouldn't be a big deal when I had already fucked half of the grade. I was about to protest that accusation when he entered my mouth.
I didn't want him there. I screamed. The hand on the back of my head kept me in place. I was the one crying now. I didn't want to have him in my mouth, not his dick.
The taste was awful. It was a bitter taste.
It didn't take long before he started moving. I could feel how he started changing in my mouth growing from semi erect to harder than a rock. I could feel it pulsate. I remember him thanking me for having such a tight mouth, for making me feel better. He thanked me for showing me that he didn't need Sakura to fulfill his needs.
I could feel his cock twerk. This was the boy I had played soccer with in first grade, this was the boy I fought over having the best grades at school this was the boy I had a crush on for so many years.
His cum tasted worse than his pre cum. It was so much of it, it was thick.
He didn't make me swallow. He slipped out and a plop sounded in the room.
He patted my head and left.
I spat the cum out on the floor. I tried comforting myself thinking he hadn't taken my virginity, that he was smaller than Sai.
I wiped my mouth, straightened my hair and left the room.
The party seemed to slow down and almost stop when I entered. I didn't know why until the next day. I heard there were pictures but I never saw them. Still everyone at the party had gone outside, looked through the window to see everything happening.
Sakura had been the one who had lingered the longest. She hadn't seen the part where I broke down sobbing because my mouth had just been raped. She didn't see the part. She had only seen the part where I willingly went down on my knees for her ex-boyfriend.
I lost all my friends after getting raped and my rapist got back with his ex-girlfriend.
In ninth grade I embraced my reputation as a slut. I cut my hair short telling everyone it had been so long I never seemed to get all the sperm out of it.
I had no real friends. I swung around those guys who wanted me around. I had a crew of girls who wanted to be just like it. People thought I was the best for putting out, that I was cool and would give them what I wanted.
In ninth grade I was still a virgin and had no desire to change that. I was merely adapting.
I was still going out with Sai. I had gone further with him then I had entering high school. He was able to forgive me if I did the same for him. If I got down on my knees for him like I had done Sasuke things would be find between us.
It didn't matter that I hadn't wanted then or now.
He asked to cum on my chest one night. It was the least I could do when I wouldn't sleep with him. I said now. He pushed me on my back and did it anyway.
He broke up with me the next morning. We had had our fun but he wasn't getting enough. He was a teen, he was young only once and wanted to make the most out of it.
I didn't love him but it left me heart broken.
In tenth grade I befriended Shikamaru again. He didn't seem to mind my reputation and I didn't need to act around him.
Temari didn't react kindly to our new friendship.
She accused me for stealing yet another of their boyfriends. I was just a simple and sad whore. Nobody loved me so I had decided to ruin everything for those who were loved.
Shikamaru didn't like the tension. I got the hint and kept clear of him again. It had been a good three months.
I befriended an older girl instead. She was in the eleventh grade two years older than me. She was a party girl. She was the kind of person everyone had decided I was. She was so empty. I could see it in her face that she had already given up on life and accepted her faith.
I heard later that year that Temari and Shikamaru had broken up. I did feel some guilt but if she had just let us be friends it wouldn't have been a problem. I wasn't out to steal Shikamaru. I just wanted a friend who wouldn't judge me.
In tenth grade Karin helped me put out a rumor that Hinata had sex with her father.
It had become my goal to hurt each and every one of them. Temari had dared me. Taking down two of them had been so easy leaving only two more. They would be just as easy because I was strong. Nothing they would say or do would ever hurt me. My skin was thick. I was a survivor.
The rumor escalated and that fast. It reached pupils as well as teachers.
One day two police officers came to our school. They were looking for Hinata. She quietly slipped out of her seat not bothering to bring her book bag. She disappeared for a week after that. Nobody saw her or heard anything from her.
When she returned to school she sought me out with tears in her eyes. I was expecting her to get mad at me mad for the first time in history. She grabbed my hand sobbing as she thanked me. I had saved her. I had done what she never had the courage to do.
It turned out that her father had been abusing her for years. Why she always kept so quiet. How badly she wanted to run away, to be gone forever. She had stayed to protect her little sister. If she wasn't there to please him he would hurt her little sister.
She was getting help now. The day the police had gotten her was the first night she could remember she went to bed without being terrified. Scared that her father would come. She was safe now. She had even slept the whole night through. She was safe and I had saved her.
She was living with her cousin now. She was being taken care of. Neji, the same boy Tenten had a crush on. Hinata was safe and maybe someday she would be happy again.
I could have used Hinata as a passage through what I was dealing with. We could have used each other as support. I didn't see clearly what was happening around me at the time.
Eleventh grade came, our last years. We were seniors. We were the oldest in school. We had the most experience. We were the most mature. We were kings and queens of the school.
Hinata was throwing a back to school party and had shyly handed me an invitation much to the dismay of her friends my old friends.
I had showed up for her party. I had gotten drunk and been introduced to her cousin Neji. He was nothing special. Attentive, low-voiced and mellow. I had leaded him on from the start. I had noticed Tenten's meager attempts to get his attention.
I got it by pulling my top further down and letting him touch my breasts.
I had heard the spiteful and horrid words they used to describe me in their group. I was out to steak another of their men after having ruined Hinata's family.
I let him take me to his bedroom. I didn't mind. I would tell him I was still a virgin and wasn't willing to take it further than kissing. He was fine with it. Didn't want to pressure me into doing anything I was uncomfortable with. I liked that.
We eventually fell asleep holding hands.
Around five in the morning felling my body shake. There was a pain coming from my crotch. I groined trying to blink the sleep out of my eyes.
It didn't take me too many seconds before I realized what was happening. A hand was placed over my mouth before I could scream. I tried to wiggle away. I tried to move. I was trapped.
I could feel him sliding in and out of me. He was slow to start with before he picked up his pace. Reaching his climax he removed his hand. I tried faking some moans thinking it was the polite thing to do the right thing to do.
I just wanted it to be over. Wanted him to get off me.
I felt what had become a familiar feeling yet I had never felt it outside my mouth or hand. He was cumming. He slid out and lay down with his back towards me. He didn't even say a word. He just got back to sleep.
I couldn't sleep.
My world had been changed. I was hurting.
I slipped out of bed when his breathing had become rhythmic and stabile.
I was sore making my way home. I hoped that my parents wouldn't be up. Wouldn't have noticed that I was missing.
It had been my own fault for leading him on for tempting him.
I would tell Tenten what had happened the next Monday. She slapped me and we were sent into the principal's office.
Another man had been added to my list. I had taken them all. They had been handed and given to me. I had what they never had and it hadn't changed for the better.
I still didn't feel complete. It felt like they all had broken off a piece of me. One I never thought I would get back. I thought I would have this nagging feeling for the rest of my life.
I was the slutty whore who didn't enjoy sex. I wasn't interested in it in any way.
I kept up my charade until I moved away for college. There I could start as Ino Yamanaka. Just Ino Yamanaka. What had happened to me, what people had thought about me wouldn't matter. I was getting away from it all. I would keep to myself and study.
It didn't work as I had planned. It never does.
I wasn't alone.
I was starting my third year when I bumped into Shikamaru. For three years we had gone to the same school not seeing each other. We made plans to change that.
He took me home that night after we had dinner. I hadn't expected him to do so but I agreed. He had a small apartment with his friend. He wasn't home at the moment and we were alone.
I hadn't been with a man since we had graduated high school. I hadn't desired to be with a man, not woman either.
It didn't take long before we started making out and he took me to the bedroom. I couldn't go through with it. I started crying and he stopped immediately.
I told him this story, starting with the kiss and ending with being raped in my sleep. The first time I had ever told anyone.
I expected him to throw me out. Tell me freaks weren't welcomed. Never to look at me the same since I was broken, not know what to say or possible do the worst thing ever and push me on like all those men had.
He didn't.
He did something I never expected anyone to do. He put his arm around me pulling me close.
"I'm here for you, it wasn't your fault."
It turned pretty dark pretty quickly. I'll possible return to this at one point or another because I had other ideas and things I wanted to write in.
If anything has ever happened to you, just remember that it wasn't your fault ever. As much as it helps coming from a stranger online, I'm here if you ever need me.
Take care, much love
EMG
