It all started after a night like no other. The wind was blowing garbage cans over and a few kids got trapped in a couple of trees. Just your normal rain shower. But the sky was purple and the clouds were red. Which was an obvious sign that something bad was gonna happen. That morning Eddie Dombrowski had to wake to something horrible. Something... unthinkable...
Heather stared at James in udder disbelieve. "What do you mean you're going to be a vegetarian? You don't even like vegetables and you definitely don't like long periods of time without meat. Which could pose a problem."
"Heather JEEZ! Don't be so negative. I'll just PRETEND I'm not eating meat." James nodded at her from across the table.
"That kind of defeats the purpose doesn't it, James? I mean... if you want to be a vegetarian, you do it for you and the animals you want to save... so eating the animals is kind of pointless. AND you're eating a hamburger as we speak!"
"You just don't get it. First of all, this is Happy BURGER! They don't serve anything that wasn't living at one point! And second of all, the animals are already dead when I meet them... duh! So if I'm a vegetarian, I just don't kill them. You're stupid!" James rolled his eyes and sat back in his chair. Just then the door burst open and Eddie flew in holding a bag from the grocery store. A soft pink liquid was spilling out of it onto the floor. "Oh my god, Eddie! What happened?"
"I-this morning... it was early... I didn't know who else to turn to!" Eddie collapsed into James' arms and both men burst into tears. "WHY GOD?"
"I don't know! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT WE'RE CRYING ABOUT!" James sobbed into Eddie's grease soaked shirt.
...20 minutes later...
"Okay seriously, why are we crying?"
"This morning... sniff... I woke up and..." Eddie handed the bag to Heather. "Here! It's just too painful!"
"Wow it's... wow... " She shook her head and sat the bag on the ground. "It's a Watermelon." Heather said,. "Only it looks like it's been stabbed a few times. Did you need help cutting this up, Eddie? 'Cause I got time."
"I didn't do that you sick freak!" Eddie spat back in disgust. "Somebody didn't know that I don't lock my door, broke a window, climbed in, and murdered my watermelon. I was saving that for a special night. I'd grown attached to her... and now... SHE'S GONE!"
"You could always just cut it up and eat it. It'd be less... painful?" Heather covered her mouth and tried not to laugh. "But who would do such a terrible crime?" She chuckled.
"Stop laughing, Heather! It was probably you who did this!" James stared at Heather suspiciously.
"Wow, James... I'm surprised you haven't accused yourself yet."
"GASP! Why would I do such a horrible thing? I don't know, why would I? Stop that! Stop what? Acting suspicious! I'm not acting, self... I'm not acting! OH MY GOD I THINK I DID IT! I think I murdered Eddie's watermelon... Why did I do it... That was so mean of me."
"Shut up, James. you couldn't have done it. You wouldn't have been smart enough to keep quiet as long as you have.. When did this happen Eddie?"
"Well, I walked into the kitchen at around 2 in the morning to find Claudia standing there with a gun, but she always does that. Pulling her, 'Oh I'm such a loser I'm just going to shoot myself' routine, ya know." Heather nodded. "But somebody else was with her. Another taller, or maybe shorter, girl. With longer or shorter black or blonde... or red.. hair. I'm not sure. Maybe it was a guy. So, who was it? ...Heather?... Heather..."
chirp chirp
"Wow, Eddie. I have no idea. Let's make a list of all the people who have a problem with you." Immediately, Heather regretted that decision. Luckily James was smart enough to understand why it was a bad idea.
"Nah, that would take too long."
"What do you mean it would take too long? People love me!" Eddie was turning red and sweating.
"Yeah, and they love how you kill there pets and... them... too." Heather forced Eddie into the seat where she had been sitting and sat across from him. "Look Eddie, there's something you need to know. You only won the 'Little Miss Silent Hill' pageant because all the other contestants tested positive for HIV or Steroids." Heather said.
"No... No! I won that contest because I'm beautiful! ...I'm beautiful..." Eddie started crying again.
"We're never going to get anywhere if we just keep sitting here. And Eddie, you'll never find the murderer if you just keep crying. It's not doing us any good. Let's go look for clues." Said James jumping up from the table, banging his knee, falling back into his chair, crying for fifteen minutes, and then carefully standing back up. "WHOO!" Heather followed with Eddie sniffling behind her.
"Where to first, Heather?" James asked.
"Uh... We'll need supplies. So let's go to Walmida-Mart and get some stuff."
Eddie looked at her with a raised eyebrow, "What do we need to get?"
Heather turned beet red and scratched the back of her neck. "Just... stuff... LET'S GO!"
