Warning for reference to child abuse.
1. "I am a hero!"
Sayo doesn't have many memories. They were wiped away, smeared like a dirty window.
What she does have are these tiny hands begging for attention, warm eyes on her face.
Sayo looks down, fingers smeared with syrup. Her father, or this man who holds her like one should, picks up her sister and pulls her away, back towards the booth. "Let her eat, Yuki. Pancakes are one of her favorites, remember?"
Are they? She frowns. She can't remember. But the syrup is sweet. Perhaps that's what she really liked. "It's okay, dad. She's bored."
"Course I'm bored!" Her sister is six, and without the scars on her cheeks, the white bandages on her armpits, the stumble in her steps, she is ordinary. "Nee-chan is over there."
Their father has a nice laugh, warm with a tinge of hospital smell and mint to drown it out. Sayo doesn't like the first scent, but she's eleven. It has nothing to do with her. Or, rather, she is not allowed to let it have anything to do with her. She takes another bite. Her knife is on the other side of the table, hidden behind the napkin holder. The fluffy food has been cut up for her.
Her papa doesn't have to worry. She won't use it again, and never on them anyway.
The strawberry is a little sour. She wrinkles her nose at first, but Yuki's eyes are on her and Sayo quickly smiles again. Yuki doesn't have to worry either. That shadow made sure of that.
"What are you doing on the floor? You're all she has now, why are you crying?"
She swallows heavily. The eggs looks like cat eyes, so she avoids them. Her fingers itch for the bandages, but she dollops butter on the fatty food instead.
It's good.
Sayo looks up at Yuki. "Aren't you gonna eat?"
Yuki blinks, as if realizing what she's doing, who she's staring at. "Un… but..." Her face contorts again. She's so open, Sayo thinks to herself. So much like a baby bird. No wonder she's the maiden. Or something. Whatever the metaphor is. "I want a bit of Nee-chan's."
Dad looks ready to scold her again, amusement and exasperation making his lips twitch. That's often how he acts whenever Yuki's around, like things are okay. Or going to be okay. He isn't really any different when they're alone, except…
Sayo reaches for the hat on her head, purple and fluff. The tears on it are dry.
Her father has such a strong name and a stronger heart. Why does he cry?
Well, maybe it's good that he does. She's not going to, after all.
She plays with her purple locks, grabbing a bite of her pancakes and passing the fork to Yuki. The girl bounces in her seat, smiling with glee. Her white hair floats as she moves until Dad sets her down, taking the fork with a laugh. Sayo takes it back and continues to eat. She's smiling herself, without realizing it. Yuki makes her smile, whether she knows it or not.
"Up now."
Whether it's a good thing or not.
Eventually, the meal comes to an end. Yuki is still eating. Sayo is staring out the window, watching people walk their dogs. It causes a vague pain. She doesn't like it much, but her fingers itch to pet them.
"Did we have a dog?"
Dad pauses. Yuki keeps eating for a few seconds and swallows a blob of whipped cream. "Nope! But you nursed one back to health. It liked Nee-chan a bunch apparently. That was a while ago, though!"
"It was, huh?"
"Papa doesn't trust me with dogs," Yuki says. She looks at him like that's a crime. He chuckles.
"Yuki, he was too small to ride."
"But-"
Sayo feels the laugh come out before she hears it.
They are so nice, these people. Whether they're family or not, they're so nice and normal, while she's just…
"It looks like you can't heal those yet. Let me help."
The stitches are still in her skin. They itch.
"Maybe when I come back, you guys will have a kitten!" The thought makes her smile for some reason. The idea of small animals, small things worth protecting, it makes her heart swell.
It's the mother in you.
No, no it's not. It's not. She's not. She's not one of those-
"Onee-chan?"
She turns, realizes her fingers are bleeding. "What?" Sayo smiles because it doesn't hurt. "What's wrong, Yuki?"
Yuki looks at her and their purple eyes reflect each other, only one is more like spilled juice instead of wine. "Are you thinking about Mama again?"
-Thinking about her hitting the floor with the steel buried so deep you can't get it out, thinking about pain, pain, pain and that low, sweet voice saying that one stupid word like it's her name-
Sayo smiles and it's big and real. "Nope! I'm just thinking of..." She swings her legs back and forth, looking up at the ceiling for her lies. "I'm thinking of all the monsters I'm gonna have to beat up today! I have to make sure I get 'em all! And it, see, it makes me so mad!" She grins wider and this time it hurts because it's not real. Her hands flap a little.
"Why would anyone wanna think of hurting you when I'm here?"
Yuki brightens. She's still little, she can do that. "Cause they're dumb of course!" She strikes a pose. "No one's gonna mess with Yuki, cause she's got her own hero!"
"Right, right?" She pokes Yuki's plate. "So, eat, okay? Imma watch for monsters!"
"Un!"
Dad relaxes when Yuki looks down. Sayo's smile dims, but she keeps it on until they leave. Her eyes glisten at her father's touch, but she doesn't cry. She can't cry. She is Yuki's hero, her big sister. She can't let her see tears, never ever.
A/N: Silly FFN and its ridiculous word counter. Finally got it to where I wanted. So, if you haven't read If the Moon Shines, this is a tiny tie-in collection expanding on things that i think of and won't appear in the main storyline. They might get a bit spoilery. If you want a link to the main fic, it is, of course, up, though this is a lower rating because there is less blood and gore and cursing. Doesn't mean there isn't any. I mean, think shonen anime. But if this needs to go up in rating, I will put it there. Anyway, please review and do check out the main when you have a free moment. Any genre can and will happen. it's not all about Sayo, though she is fun to explore.
Challenges: Diversity Writing Challenge: I1. Ficlets ahoy everyone.
