Note: This is in the middle of Breaking Dawn. In my story, Jacob never imprinted on Nessie, instead, someone else...

With a pleased smirk, she set a silver bowl on the floor next to me.

"Enjoy, mongrel."

"Thanks, Blondie"

She snorted.

"Hey, do you know what you call a blonde with a brain?" I asked, and then continued on the same breath, "a golden retriever."

"I've heard that one, too," she said, no longer smiling.

"I'll keep trying," I promised then dug in.

She made a disgruntled face and rolled her eyes…

He woke up to the sound of a man droning on about some coffee grinder on TV, an afghan spread over his long body, sitting on the old beat-up couch in his family room. Popcorn was askew all over the table next to the couch.

Jeez…How did I get here? He thought groggily, and shrugged it off. He must've fallen asleep in front of the TV again.

Then, his thoughts snapped back to that weird flash-back of a dream he had about her. He cringed. He had imprinted on a vampire just a week ago. A snobby, sarcastic, blonde vampire. One who was married! Rosalie.

He hadn't changed into wolf-form for a week. He spent his days inside all day, moping around the house, having no idea what to do. I mean, a vampire? An evil, cold, stinky VAMPIRE? This was just too much for him. I mean, he was still getting over the fact that Bella was pregnant with Edward's baby. He couldn't be imprinting now! He was still trying to get over Bella, and now he's imprinting? This just couldn't be happening. But it was.

He hadn't told anyone yet, nor did he want to. He wanted to keep this all to himself.