Disclaimer: They're not mine, I know :(
He had been terrified today. Yes, even Aaron Hotchner had the ability to get scared. Of coarse, there were no outward signs of this terror to his team but the feeling coursed through his body none the less.
The gunshots had sounded and Hotch drew his weapon instantly, directing his team to surround the psychopath. This process was so automatic that it felt like nothing. But when he heard her screaming, when he turned and saw her blood cascading down her arm, and when he saw the single tear that escaped from her eye, his heart split in two for the pain she was going through.
The idea that if that bastard had had only a couple more minutes with her, she might be dead right now killed him. So much that he wanted to rip something apart. Pull the seams and make something break because than maybe this would be okay.
Hotch's head was spinning as they loaded her into the ambulance, fighting the medics like hell. He could see that Emily was at her wits end, and was just about to loose it. She hated being taken care of and she hated being weak. That's probably why she wouldn't look him in the eye. Not until he softly reprimanded her, making it an order that she accept the treatment and shut up.
Hotchner shuttered as he was given the option to get out before they left for the hospital. Why the hell would he leave her? Her arm had a fucking hole in it. That's when Hotch knew that he couldn't deny his feelings anymore. In that moment, nothing else really mattered. He had followed the rules his entire life, and Hotch was tired of being screwed over by the results. Staying away from her just made his bed so much colder at night. Sometimes, the chill actually made him 's why Hotch couldn't stay away anymore. He clutched her hand tightly, trying to give Emily as much comfort as possible. The rules just didn't matter anymore. They couldn't.
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Emily wasn't annoyed or irritated. After being shot and admitted to a hospital, once Emily got back to Quantico she wasn't really upset. She was only tired.
Just as she was getting comfortable, she heard a sturdy knock on the door. She groaned as she forced herself up off the couch. The events of the day seemed to wear on her already tired state, and she couldn't even bring herself to pour a glass of wine to drink the day into oblivion.
"Who the hell could that be?" She mumbled angrily to herself.
"Hotch?!" Emily looked stunned once she saw who was behind the door the door.
"Hey." That word, so simple. His face so raw and un-Hotch like that Emily didn't know how to take it.
"Um, hey." She answered back. And before things got a chance to get awkward, Hotch started talking.
"I stopped by to see how you were." Emily squirmed slightly as Hotch looked he over, the silence not nearly as bad as his cold, hard stare.
"I'm fine, Hotch, no need to worry." She assured him, crossing her arms over her chest in a pathetic attempt to hide from him. She didn't have the guts to actually move away from him. Or the will to even try.
"Want to come in?" She invited, without thinking at all. What are you doing? Inviting your boss into your apartment! He sure as hell isn't looking at you like he's your boss. The truth was, Emily would have invited him anywhere just to get him to stop looking at her like that. Well she couldn't make him go away, and the only other thing was to let him in. Her tiredness seemed to deplete when she saw his smile. Damn that was gorgeous. This man had her, whether it was allowed or not. Hotch always lifted her up so she smiled back at him as she stepped aside.
"Thank you." Hotch said as he came in. He went right for the couch, the one Emily was just sitting on, and sat down contently. Almost like he did this every day. It was to comfortable for Emily. Something about this whole set up made Emily really nervous. She couldn't comprehend why.
"Can I get you anything?" She asked, following him tentatively.
"No." He answered simply. Again with the small simple words! Jesus he could be so hard to read sometimes.
Hotch was shocked that she invited him in. He thought he was going to have to force his way in tonight, convincing her that he needed to talk to her and that everything would be a fight, but she was always surprising him.
"You sure? Water? Soda?" she suggested. He just shook his head.
Giving up, she plopped down next to him on the couch, a full cushion apart. Emily couldn't help it, she let out a painful gasp. Her damn shoulder was relentless in hurting no matter what motion Emily made. Hotch ached for her. A bullet's a bitch.
"I'm so sorry about your shoulder, Emily." He looked up at her with the most apologetic eyes. The light brown eyes made her melt. Her heart fluttered and Emily cheeks burned a little.
Damn it, she couldn't take this! She had no clue what was going and it scared the shit out of her. Her boss is sitting in her home making her feel so, so comfortable. So not what your boss should make you feel.
"What are you doing here, Hotch? This isn't normal. You wouldn't be making an 11 pm stop to Morgan's house if he had been shot." Emily rambled on. Hotch just ignored her, looking around. He was enjoying the exclusive glimpse into her private life, he felt so included. Glancing down, a game of Monopoly caught Hotch's eye.
"Monopoly? You play in your free time or something?" He joked, looking back into her eyes. She stood up, grabbing the box in a huff. Sitting on her couch was one thing, judging her clutter was another.
"My nephew was here a couple weeks ago. I haven't had a chance to clean up, considering we've been away on a case." She answered defensively.
Hotch stod up quickly and grabbed the box from her hand, feeling slightly awkward. He didn't know why, but he sat down and opened the box.
"What are you doing!" Emily demanded, shocked.
"Play with me," Hotch looked up at her, "come on." He prodded.
Emily stared down at the scene, playing out before her. She almost wanted to laugh. "Hard-ass Hotchner wants to play Monopoly? Seriously?" Emily taunted him. She sat down next to him and began to collect the 50 dollar bills from the massive pile of fake money.
Hotch had to look down at the board to hide his grin. Emily had just sat down, and willingly played with him. He knew it was weird, being so excited about a juvinilee game but this was Emily he was talking about! The very fact that their relationship could get anywhere near this point gave him hope.
"I do a lot of surprising things after work." He commented, a couple seconds later.
"I guess you do." Emily said, looking at him.
"I guarantee you." Hotch continued the quip as he looked into her eyes. Her face was mesmerizing and Hotch couldn't get enough of it. It was like a drug.
Emily was so confused, everything that was happening seemed so unreal. His gaze was so intense, just beaming into her. Something magical and real was happening between them, undeniable. Emily didn't want it to stop.
Hotch couldn't control himself. He didn't want to anymore. The daring agent hesitantly began to lean towards Emily, their faces approaching closer and closer. Their kiss seemed eminent, their lips so close they could feel each others breath. Hotch just wanted to know what it would be like. It had been so long since he had even considered anyone else besides Haley and Emily was just so appealing, he needed to feel her lips on his. Hotches eyes began to close, just as Emily spazingily turned her head.
The motion so awkward and shocking to Hotch that it didn't register right away. He almost kissed her freaking ear. He shuttered and turned away feigning hurt.
Emily released a shaky breath she had been holding. "Do you want to be the dog, or the thimble?" She gasped out, staring down at the tiny metal in her hand. She didn't want to look up She didn't want to know what was happening in his head right because she really couldn't even handle her own god damn issues.
Jesus freakin christ! I almost kissed Hotch! My boss! I actually wanted to kiss my boss. God, I'm such a slut.
"Ugh, thimble." He answered, sounding so disappointed. He went to take the shiny silver piece from her hand, and when their skin touched, Emily felt electricity. She felt that tingle rush up her arm.
"I'm, ugh, going to go get a drink or something. You can, um, finish setting up the game." Emily stood up, rushing out of the room. She couldn't breathe in that room. She couldn't breathe with her boss sitting so intimately next to her, his eye so comfortably close to hers. Not touching, yet so close and soon to be touching. Like their lips had been. Oh god, she needed to leave. So, to the kitchen she escaped.
Emily was more concerned with the fact that she liked it so much. Before she had really realized what was happening, the feelings were there. And they were so undeniable.
"Emily." She heard his voice from behind her. Instantly her muscles tensed. He cleared his throat, reminding her he was their. She breathed deeply, preparing herself for whatever conversation was coming. She saw what was happening, but the idea was so foreign. Rapping her mind around it seemed so impossible.
She turned, finally, seeing him standing there in his classic grey suit. Emily then truly noticed at that moment how attractive he was. Dark hair with stunning brown eyes. His face laid gorgeously upon his body, which Emily knew was built.
"I don't know what is going on here, Hotch, but I'm not so sure I like it." Emily spurted out. She couldn't deal with this. Crossing these lines, it was so terrifying.
"Aaron." Hotch stated simply.
"What?" she snapped out. "Hotch, what the hell are you talking about? Don't screw with me like this!" Emily forced out bitterly. She stepped up to stand toe to toe with him, making sure he knew she was dead serious.
He didn't back down, just shrugged his shoulders. "Call me Aaron… that's all that I meant." He held her steady gaze.
"Aaron!" she screamed, "I don't know what you think what's going to happen here, but I'm sure as hell not going to let you take advantage of me. You're my boss, my supervisor. Nothing can happen between us." Emily punctuated every word of that last sentence, breaking their eye contact. She stepped back, not even believing what she had just said.
Hotch got even closer to her. "Don't say that." He whispered. "Please don't say that." He begged.
She looked into his eyes and saw his sincerity. "You really want this?" She spit out at him. He stared back at her with those same eyes, as if he was about to give one of those one-word, simple phrases that drove Emily insane.
"Yea." He nodded.
Emily stared at him, her rage growing. Hotch didn't think anything else could ever be cuter. Screw it. Life was just too short. Hailey had taught him that. Years of marriage wasted, gone.
So he did what felt right. Outside of the job and the protocol and the criminals, Hotch did what felt good. He kissed her.
Grabbing the back of her head, he eagerly pushed his lips against hers, forcing his tongue into her mouth. Emily would have thought that Hotch would have been gentle and sweet.
But he was the exact opposite. Rough and passionate, and acting so dominate. Emily was so shocked. She absolutely loved this.
It felt so amazingly right to her.
But it was way to fast. She pulled away, with a slight whimper.
Panting, Emily was instantly trying to explain. After all, she was a profiler. She knew how he was feeling. "This is just to fast for me Hotch. I like you, god, I had no clue before but I really like you." She smiles at his smile, considering it a good sign. I just can't go getting so physical with my boss. Not so fast.'
She was still panting with exertion, and trying to read his face for a reaction. But, of coarse, he had morphed back into his hard shell exterior and she couldn't read a thing.
He nodded, at least, giving her something.
"Please call me tomorrow." He tightened his hold, needing her to understand how serious he is about pursuing her.
"I will." She answered, whole-heartedly.
He smiled, that rare Hotchner smile that made Emily's stomach flutter. He bent down, kissing her cheek and lingering every so slightly as he was pulling away. Just so she'd know what he was restraining himself from.
And just like that, he was gone, the door closing with a bang. Seconds later Emily was back on her couch with an aching shoulder. The only thing she seemed to be focused on, though, was the undeniable feeling of regret, for making him leave.
Staring at the monopoly game still lying there, she chuckled at everything that had just developed. Simply amazing.
Emily had no clue what was in store for her, though, as she trudged to her bedroom to get changed, take a pill and fall asleep.
tbc..
What do you think?? Please review.. I've worked on this for awhile and I hope it's good :)
