Title: Mirrored Emotions (1/1)
Author: KatrinaVT
Date of completion: 25th August 2005
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Time: 1996, Order of the Phoenix.
Rating: PG
Word count: 5388
Pairing(s): None active. Mentioned Sirius/Remus. Pre-Remus/Tonks. Loosely implied Snape/Remus.
Characters: TONKS, Remus, Snape, Mr and Mrs Weasley, Fred and George, Mad-Eye Moody.
Warnings/Spoilers: Character death (Sirius)
Disclaimer: The characters and the place all belong to J.K. Rowling, and I am making no profit from this at all. Sadly.
Summary: After Sirius' death, Tonks wants to comfort Remus, and has to confront her own feelings and is shocked to learn she's not the only one who feels that way for Remus.

Tonks sat at the table in the kitchen of number twelve Grimmauld Place, silently staring at piece of toast on the plate before her. To her delight, she had been let home from St. Mungo's that afternoon. She still felt rather shaky, but it was good to be away from there. Hospitals were an awful place to be when you were already feeling depressed. She would have gone mad if she'd stayed there any longer, even though she'd been encouraged to stay there a few more nights.

"Cup of tea, dear?"

She looked up with a faint smile as Mrs Weasley placed a large mug of strong, steaming tea in front of her.

"Thanks," she whispered, taking it and sipping it, shifting as quietly as she could in her chair so as not to break the silence hanging in the room.

She was accompanied at the kitchen table by Mr and Mrs Weasley, and Fred and George. Everyone else was in the living room, or in bed. It had been a week since Sirius had passed away.

It didn't seem right to be here anymore, she thought, not with Sirius gone. The house just wasn't the same without him, and everyone else must have thought so too. Everyone seemed to be moving very quietly and talking in near whipsers, even Fred and George were somber, and she hated it. Sirius wouldn't have wanted that. Saying that, she couldn't find the strength to act remotely cheerful if she'd tried.

The only noise in the house had been coming from the constant rejoicing of the portrait of Mrs Black, probably hoping the house would go to someone more worthy in her eyes now. That murderous bitch Bellatrix, no doubt. The thought made her sick! But she'd heard Sirius had left everything to Harry, which was some comfort. She wanted to ask if that was true, but it didn't seem right to. There was probably only one person in the house who could have answered such questions about Sirius' personal affairs, and he was standing at the far side of the kitchen, staring blankly out of the window with an untouched cup of tea in his hand, that he'd only accepted at the harrassing of Mrs Weasley.

"I think..." Mr Weasley heaved his chair back and stood up, "that something a little stronger than tea would be better here."

Tonks watched him as he walked over to a tall cupboard and took a bottle of fine scotch from it, and poured several glasses of which he handed around the table, ignoring the disapproving "Arthur!" that came from his wife, as he placed two glasses before Fred and George, who could not have looked less delighted.

Tonks put her tea down, and took the glass as it was handed to her. She hated bloody scotch, but maybe a stiff drink would help a bit. She watched as Mr Weasley slowly approached Remus who hadn't shifted his eyes from staring into the distance.

"Remus," Mr Weasley touched his arm gently and Remus flinched and turned to look at him as if he'd been woken from a deep sleep suddenly. "Have this." Mr Weasley took the tea from his hand to replace it was the glass of scotch.

Remus forced a small, grim smile and turned back to the window.

Tonks watched him with deep concern. He hadn't said a word since she'd returned that afternoon, not even to greet her or enquire about her state of being. Not that that was an issue, it just worried her to see him so silent and distant.

Mr Weasley came to stand at the head of the table and raised his glass in a solemn toast. "To Sirius," he said, and took a sip of his drink.

"To Sirius," everyone echoed, and Tonks shuddered a little as she gulped down a mouthful of her drink.

Remus still remained silent, shakily lifting his glass to his lips and taking the smallest sip of it and swallowing awkwardly like it was choking him.

"Well, then," Mr Weasley said, putting his glass down on the table with a small clunk that made Remus tense a little.

Well, then, what? Tonks wondered, but he said no more and sat down again looking very grave as Mrs Weasley quietly got up and with a swish of her wand started loading a whole day's worth of washing up into the sink.

Tonks shifted her chair closer to Mr Weasley's, grateful of the noise so she could quietly speak to him. "How's he taking it?" she whispered, nodding towards Remus' back.

Mr Weasley shook his head. "I really don't know," he said, taking another sip of his drink. "No one's got a word out of him since we came back after... well." He sighed. "He's not eating, I don't think he's been sleeping. He certainly hasn't been to bed in the last three nights."

She looked over at Remus again. He looked even more pale and exhausted than usual. He looked like he hadn't seen a comb or a razor or a change of clothes in a few days. All she could see of his eyes as he stared ahead were the dark circles beneath them.

"Probably still in shock," George murmured from opposite her, as he watched Remus with the same amount of concern. "Poor bloke."

"Wish there was something we could do," Fred said.

Remus shifted his weight to his other foot and his shoulders tensed some more, as if he knew they were talking about him.

"We just need to give him some space," Mr Weasley said quietly. "He'll talk when he wants to, and then we'll be there for him. But for now, everyone leave him alone."

Tonks felt Mr Weasley gently squeeze her hand as tears sprang to her eyes, and she gave him a sheepish smile as she wiped her tears away quickly. What gave her the right to cry if Remus wasn't crying? Sirius had been her relative, and her friend in the short time she'd known him, and she wanted to cry for him, but it didn't feel right in front of Remus. That would all wait until she was alone in her bed later. She hadn't really known Sirius that well, she thought. She'd known him somewhat when she'd been a very small child, but she didn't remember that all that clearly.

"He'll be all right," Mr Weasley said reassuringly. "We'll look after him, when he wants us to. I don't think it'll be long now." He looked at Remus again, and Tonks followed his eyes to see a small tremor pass over Remus' drawn face. "The cracks are starting to show."

Tonks nodded. Mr Weasley was right, none of them should invade Remus' space until he was ready for it, but she wanted nothing more than to walk over to him and wrap her arms around him and hold him tightly until he felt better again. Of course a hug wouldn't take away the pain of the loss of his lover, but it might help just a little, for just a second. Let him know that he could turn to someone, let him know he wasn't alone. He'd been alone for too long.

She felt the tears sting again as she thought of all the years Remus must have spent alone, thinking that the man he had loved had been guilty of the crimes he'd been committed for, then to get Sirius back only to lose him so quickly again. She knew something of the quarrel they'd had before Sirius had been sent to Azkaban, of Remus resenting Sirius spending so much time with the Potters, and of Sirius suspecting him of being Voldemort's spy. So pointless. If only she could get her hands on that Peter Pettigrew! He was to blame for everything.

She thought Remus and Sirius had argued quite a lot over the time they'd been at 12 Grimmauld Place too. Such petty, silly arguments that didn't even matter. They must have thought they had all the time in the world again. Time hadn't taught them anything. Poor Remus.

They had been happy, though. She'd seen them fooling around together, and secretly cuddling like old childhood sweethearts. She'd heard them at night from her room below theirs, laughing over some old memory, and making love with soft gasps and cries laced with very animal-like noises. She'd heard Remus howl in passion on more than one occasion, even though he had been perfectly human at the time, and it had sent shivers down her spine. It did now and she blushed to be thinking about such a thing at such a time. It was completely inappropriate.

Sirius would have found it funny. She could see his smile now, the grin that made him look like a cheeky teenager, the grin he had always given her at breakfast the morning after he and Remus had had a particularly... active night.

She felt herself losing the fight to hold back her tears, and gulping the rest of her drink down in one go, she pulled her chair back from the table and stood up. "Excuse me," she murmured, making to dart out of the room before she lost control of herself completely.

Mrs Weasley started after her, but neither of them got out of the room because a figure had appeared in the kitchen doorway. Severus Snape, dressed in his black robes.

"What does he want?" George muttered disdainfully, starting to get up.

"George!" Mrs Weasley said sternly, shooting him a look with raised eyebrows that made him sink back into his chair quietly. "Come in, Severus."

Tonks stepped back from the door and leaned back against a cupboard as Snape quietly walked into the room, his robes swishing behind him, but not with the usual energy they had.

Remus' hand tightened on his glass and he drew an audibly shaky breath as he tensed painfully.

"I don't know if this is the right time for visitors," Tonks dared to say as Snape walked slowly over to Remus who was looking more agitated by the second, even though he still hadn't turned back from the window. If Snape upset him, she swore to herself that she'd do something very vile to him.

"Remus," Snape said quietly.

"Severus..." Mrs Weasley said, in an even sterner tone than she'd used on her son, and she watched him carefully.

"Remus," Snape said again after he had got no response.

"What?" Remus finally whispered hoarsely, looking down at the floor. Tonks could see his hand trembling on the glass.

Snape stopped a foot or so away from Remus, though he made no attempt to make eye contact with him. He too seemed to be having a job to peel his eyes from the floor.

"Remus, I'm sorry about..." Snape swallowed and looked decidedly uncomfortable.

"Yeah..." Remus whispered to silence him before he could say anymore.

"About Sirius," Snape said, looking up at him at last.

Bastard, Tonks thought, like you care, you hated Sirius! But she was surprised to see there was nothing nasty about Snape's tone of voice, or his face, for once. But why show sympathy to Remus now? He hated him, didn't he?

"Are you?" Remus turned to face him, emotion flashing in his eyes, and contempt in his voice.

Snape glanced uncomfortably at the Weasleys and Tonks. She had never seen him look uncomfortable before. He was probably afraid of accusation.

"Remus, can we go somewhere quieter?" he said.

Remus shook his head sharply. "I've got nothing to say to you," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "What do you want, Severus? Have you come to gloat?"

"I... no," Snape answered with a sigh, speaking very quietly as if he was ashamed of anyone other than Remus hearing what he had to say. "I just wanted to see if ... if you were alright."

"Well, I'm not," Remus snapped. "Obviously. But I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of seeing it."

Snape's jaw tightened and he swallowed, taking a few moments as if to consider his words before he spoke quietly again. "If you want to talk..."

"To you!" Remus cried, with a little cry of laughter. "Talk to you! Why would I want to talk to you! You hated Sirius, you hate me, don't come here now acting like you're my friend! You've come to gloat, that's all! You've come to gloat, hidden behind this mask of concern!"

"Remus..." Mr Weasley got up from his chair and walked towards him.

"Sirius is dead, I'm alone, and so's Harry!" Remus ranted, his voice losing it's steadiness. "Come on, Severus, say what you want to say! Gloat! Come on! No one here is fooled by you being all concerned! Why don't you show your true colours and dance for glee!" He threw his glass down at Snape's feet. "Have a drink, why don't you! Though I'm sure you've cracked open the champagne already!" He stumbled backwards, as if all his energy had been sucked from him in those few words, and he slumped against the worktop, lowering his head as a ragged sob escaped his lips and his tears began to flow.

Mr Weasley had said it wouldn't be long before he cracked, but this was rather sooner than anyone had expected.

Tonks glared at Snape and she heard one of the twins mutter something nasty from over by the table. She wanted to tell him to get out, she wanted to grab hold of him and physically throw him out, but she was too surprised how genuine he looked. He was still looking at Remus, but there really was nothing nasty about his features. He couldn't mean what he said. Everyone knew how much he hated Sirius and Remus. He must be up to something.

"Severus, I think you should go," Mr Weasley said, slowly reaching to touch Remus' shoulder. "This isn't a good time."

Remus pulled away from Mr Weasley and turned around to lean his elbows on the worktop, and buried his face in his hands as he sobbed pitifully. Tonks felt a knot in her stomach, and rushed forward towards him but Mr Weasley put a hand out to stop her.

"Remus..." Snape stepped towards him, with one hand awkwardly extended towards him.

"Don't touch me!" Remus shouted, spinning around again to slap Snape's hand away, as tears rolled down his suddenly-flushed cheeks. "Leave me alone! You don't give a damn, so don't pretend you do! If you're here to comfort me, it's only for one selfish reason, don't think I don't know that! So keep your slimy hands off me!"

Tonks was sure she imagined Snape looking hurt for a second, before the old bitterness she knew crept across his face agan. That was more like it. Arsehole.

She stepped back towards the table and reached for her wand, but Fred beat her to it and stood up with it raised and aimed at Snape.

"Fred!" Mrs Weasley squealed, diving to grab it from him.

"Don't," George said, pulling on his brother's arm to make him sit down again. "He's not worth the trouble." Then both twins fixed identical glares at their old teacher.

Tonks turned back and glared at Snape, balling her fists, ready to punch him if he said one more word or took one more step towards Remus, but before he could Mr Weasley took Remus by the shoulders and steered him towards the door. Remus glared at Snape like he could have hit him himself, then pulled out of Mr Weasley's hands and darted through the living room.

Tonks heard the sound of his feet running up the stairs and a few seconds later a door upstairs slammed shut.

Mr Weasley hung back, looking like he wanted to follow but was unsure whether he should, the twins were both still glaring at Snape, Mrs Weasley was looking flustered, and Snape himself was staring at the space where Remus had stood, slowly turning his eyes to follow the path he had run out in, then quickly looking back to glare right back at the twins, his lips twisted in a nasty grimace, his eyes moving slowly, as if they weren't quite in sync with the rest of his body.

Tonks made up her mind then. If she stayed, she'd do something horrible, so without a word to the others, she left the room and ran up the stairs after Remus. The door of the room he had shared with Sirius was closed, and Alastor Moody was standing on the landing his dressing gown, with his wand raised as if something was about to attack.

She stopped at the top of the stairs, and slowly walked towards the door, from behind which Remus could be heard trying to contain his sobs. She shivered. She hadn't expected him to get that upset so suddenly.

"What happened?" Moody whispered.

"Snape," she told him, not feeling it was necessary to explain anymore. "And Remus got a bit... Well..." she gestured to the door.

"Leave me alone!" Remus cried from inside the room. "Go away."

Moody sighed as he peered through the door. "He doesn't look like he should be left alone," he whispered, lowering his wand. "You wait here, he needs a friend." And with that, he hobbled off back to his own room, leaving Tonks alone on the landing.

"Tonks," Mrs Weasley called quietly to her from half way up the stairs. "Maybe you should come away."

"I'm not leaving him." She walked back down the stairs to meet her, shivering again at the sound of Remus weeping. "I'll stay here until he comes out. I really don't feel good about leaving him on his own."

"All right," Mrs Weasley nodded. "But if he wants to be alone, you should let him be."

"Yes, I will," Tonks replied a little shortly before turning and walking back up the stairs. Mr and Mrs Weasley were lovely, but sometimes they gave off this air of 'I know best' that really annoyed her. They were your typical fussy parents.

After trying the door handle once more, she seated herself on the top step of the stairs, wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her head on her knees as she finally let go of her silent tears. It wasn't just Sirius' death making her cry, it was the sound of Remus crying behind the door she couldn't get through. After a few minutes, he stopped trying to keep himself quiet and wept freely. It was heartbreaking. She wondered if anyone could die of a broken heart. Remus sounded like he could. Every now and again a small canine-like whimper could be heard amidst the hoarse sobbing, and it made her cry all the more, thinking of the noises she'd so often heard from that bedroom.

She thought Remus might not want her to be listening to him crying, but he didn't seem to care who heard. She wasn't going to leave, anyway. She'd wait until he opened the door, then she'd go and comfort him. He did need it. She didn't believe he truly wanted to be all alone with his heartache.

She'd never felt such an urge to cuddle someone in her life, and it was rather odd. She'd never had anything of a maternal instinct about her... though Remus was much older than her anyway. Same thing though, wasn't it? Wanting to cuddle and comfort and care for someone. Whatever it was, she'd never felt it so strongly.

She must have waited there an hour or more, before she heard the lock of the door slide back, and she jumped to her feet, wiping her tears and waiting for the door to open. When it didn't, she slowly walked up to it and pushed it open.

"Remus?"

She stepped inside the large room, that was in complete darkness apart from a candle burning on the cabinet beside the bed, on which Remus lay with his back to her, stripped out of his worn jeans and wearing striped boxer shorts and his old jumper. He was hugging a pillow, and she could see he was shaking with silent tears.

"Remus..." She stepped inside and started to close the door, waiting to be told to go away, but when Remus said nothing, she shut the door and walked over to him. "Are you all right?" She cringed as soon as she said it. Stupid thing to say! Of course he wasn't all right!

He sniffed and curled up tighter to the pillow he was holding.

"If you want me to go away I will," she said, walking around the bed to the side he was facing and cautiously sitting down on the edge of the mattress.

"I don't want you to go," he whispered, glancing up at her with reddened eyes. "I... I don't... don't want to .. be alone..."

Tonks swallowed the lump in her throat so she could keep her voice steady when she spoke to him. "Shh, you're not." She reached out to gently push a strand of greying hair back from where it had stuck to Remus' cheek. He looked so much older than he was, so completely knackered, why couldn't life just give him a break for once! "We're all here for you, all of us. If there's anything I can do..."

"I want him back," he whispered, closing his eyes tightly as more tears seeped from them. "I just want him back! It's not fair!" He buried his face into something on top of the pillow as his sobs stifled him again. It was a shirt that had belonged to Sirius, Tonks realised. The very one he'd been wearing the morning before he'd left for the Ministry.

"I'll stay with you," she told him softly, shifting to sit nearer to him, stroking his hair with one hand, and reaching to take one of his cold, shaking hands with the other. "I'm here, Remus, I'm not going anywhere."

He gripped her hand tightly and shuffled closer to her so that his head rested against her thigh, and she kept stroking his hair as he cried. She didn't know what to say, so decided on keeping quiet. Words were rather useless here. Nothing she could say would make Remus feel any better, nothing she could say would bring Sirius back, or make his loss more bearable, and she didn't think she had the strength to speak without bursting into tears herself.

Eventually, Remus' sobs grew quieter, the shakes racking his body got calmer and his grip on her hand got looser. He was exhausted by his tears. Still she kept hold of his hand and kept stroking his hair. He made no attempt to move away from her, so she shifted to lie beside him on the bed.

He looked up at her, his eyes heavy and bloodshot and he shivered, holding her hand tightly as if he was scared she was going to leave now. "Tonks..." he whispered, coughing slightly as if talking hurt him now.

"Shh." She put a finger to his lips. "It's all right, I'm staying with you."

He sniffed loudly, curling up closer to her, tensing a little as footsteps began to come up the stairs, then there was a knock on his door.

"I'll get rid of them," Tonks whispered to him, then asked out loud. "Who is it?"

The door opened with a creak and the black shadow of Snape appeared, carrying a candle and a cup.

"What do you want?" She stood up quickly and walked around the bed to get between Snape and Remus. She felt a strange fire inside her heart to protect Remus. Strange. She'd never felt that before, even though she'd always worried about his frailty. Sirius had always been there to take care of him, to rub his back when it was aching the day before he was to transform into a wolf, to make sure he didn't overwork himself when he was exhausted after the moon had changed. Sirius wasn't there to do that now, but she was. Sirius would want her to take care of him.

Snape stopped for a moment then continued to walk towards her. "I've made this for him." He held the cup out. "It will help him sleep."

"Oh." Tonks took the cup from him and looked closely at it, lifting it to sniff it. It certainly smelled and looked like an innocent sleeping draught. Why was Snape being so nice? She glanced at Remus, who hadn't turned over or even seemed to acknowledge Snape's presence. "Oh," she said again. "Um.. well..." She never thought she'd be saying such words to Severus Snape, especially not in relation to Remus. "Thank you."

"We were at school together," Snape told her quietly, glancing down at the floor then back at Remus.

"You hated each other," she said shortly. "You still do."

"There was a bit more to it than that," he said, looking at Remus again, and opening his mouth as if to say something more.

Perhaps it was just the candlelight, but Tonks imagined again that she saw something softer about his face. He looked a lot more open, suddenly. A lot less rigid, and he was actually a lot better looking without that scowl marring his face. Not handsome, not by a long shot, but not so completely horrible. She wanted to ask him more, but he'd decided not to say anything else, and the guard had gone back up.

It wasn't important anyway. She'd heard of all the tales from school, there was nothing that he could say that wouldn't put Remus or Sirius or James in a bad light.

"Remus," she said, walking back over to him and touching his shoulder. "Sit up and drink this." She placed the cup down on the table and slipped an arm beneath Remus to try to get him to sit up. There was nothing to Remus, she should be able to lift him upright easily, but she still felt weak from her injuries. She was still unsure whether he wasn't aware of Snape or was just ignoring him. He leaned heavily against her, exhausted. Maybe he didn't need the potion after all. She was rather reluctant to give him anything Snape had brewed up. After all, the last Wolfsbane that Snape had made had caused Remus' transformation to be slow and painful and he'd certainly done it out of spite. He'd had too much of a smirk on his face when he'd protested he'd perhaps accidentally gone a little heavy handed with one of the ingredients.

"It will give him nice dreams," Snape said quietly, as if he didn't want to say it at all. It was the same tone of voice he'd used in the kitchen, like being nice was something shameful. "Here, let me..." He slipped his hands under Remus' arms and pulled him into a sitting position.

Someone had surely made him do this to make up for him upsetting Remus. She didn't want to believe he was doing it for any selfless reason, and she didn't like the way he was looking at Remus. It wasn't a look she'd ever seen before.

"Remus, drink." She put the cup to his lips and tilted it so he could drink from it as Snape held him up. "Drink all of it, it'll make you sleep."

He whimpered and tried to pull away from Snape's hands (apparently he was aware of him after all), but Snape held him firmly until he'd drunk all the potion, then carefully laid him back against the pillows. Remus rolled over again quickly, turning his back to Snape and clutching at the pillow he'd been hugging before.

"Werewolves..." Snape began quietly, stepping around the bed to pull a patchwork quilt up from the end of the bed to cover Remus with in a way that was almost tender, as if they weren't arch-enemies at all. It made her feel quite peculiar. "It's known for some to have a pressure point on the lower end of the spine that can help them relax if massaged. I... think you might be able to get him relaxed enough to fall asleep."

Tonks nodded, carefully slipping her hand beneath the covers and up under Remus' jumper to rub his back, as she'd seen Sirius do so many times. She hadn't known it was a special spot, but she knew where it was from watching Sirius.

Remus whimpered again, and fidgeted. She must have pressed too hard. She murmured an apology and massaged the area more gently. She could feel him relax, and heard his breathing deepen as he drifted into sleep.

He whimpered Sirius' name. Was he dreaming about him? No, he still sounded too upset. Glancing back awkwardly at Snape, and having no idea where the urge came from, she lay down next to Remus again, slipping beneath the covers next to him. She lay close to his back, wrapping her arm around his waist and slipping her hand beneath the hem of his jumper to gently stroke his soft, warm skin, tracing the too-smooth lines of scars with her fingertips.

He shifted back against her with a soft sigh. "Sirius..."

"Shh." Tonks held him closer to her, feeling a strange sting in her soul for a reason she couldn't comprehend. She wanted to tell Remus it was just her, but her voice betrayed her and wouldn't let her speak. If he found comfort in thinking that Sirius was holding him while he drifted off to sleep, who was she to stop that? Of course she could always try to... But no, that would be too wrong and rather sick.

"He'll sleep now," Snape said, reaching out as if he wanted to touch Remus, then he pulled his hand back and quickly left the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

"OK..." Tonks whispered, staring after him. She felt decidely uncomfortable all of a sudden, being here with Remus like this. Funny, that. Perhaps she should put a little more space between them, he probably wouldn't like this if he was awake. But no, when she tried to pull away, Remus shifted back against her again. Still thinking she was Sirius, probably. He wouldn't do it for any other reason. Would he? And why would she want him to?

Her heart was thumping. What was that all about! And why was her hand trembling at the feeling of Remus' bare skin? Why was she feeling completely guilty? She wished she'd asked Snape to stay now. What had been up with him anyway? Why had he been so nice? And why had he looked at Remus so... fondly?

She felt sick. She was beginning to realise what the funny feeling was. It wasn't altogether a nice feeling, it felt hot and cold all at once and it was sitting heavily in the pit of her stomach where it had been brewing for months without her knowledge. It had disguised itself as embarrassment for a long time, but she now understood the burning feeling she'd felt when she'd heard Sirius making love to Remus in this very bed, the butterflies she'd felt fluttering in her chest every time she'd seen them hug or kiss, the shortness of breath when she'd first looked into Remus' large, almond-shaped, amber-coloured eyes.

The realisation was creeping over her like a feverish sweat, taking her breath away and bringing tears to her eyes. Why hadn't she noticed before! She'd never felt jealous of Sirius, she'd always thought it was sweet how he and Remus had been reunited after so long. It was awful to be feeling like this. It was awful to be lying in Sirius' bed with Remus in her arms! It had to be wrong, she couldn't be feeling this way!

But the truth was, she was in love with Remus, and something was even more worrying than that, something she didn't dare to think about, though she couldn't stop wondering about it however hard she tried - she had only realised this because she'd seen her own feelings for Remus reflected in the inky eyes of Snape.