Gibbs: For the spn_25 com over at Livejournal. Major thanks to Val for betaing AND being my muse!


A hunter's past experiences were their strongest assets. That was why new hunters didn't make it long unless they found someone older to help them. Dating was the same. Only Sam was without a mentor, and there was no incantation that was going to get him out of this one.

He heard the footsteps behind him long before anyone else would have, but didn't look. If it was a monster it would only speed up the inevitable.

"That bad huh?"

Sam glanced over his shoulder at the blonde as she plopped down beside him.

"Hey Becky."

"Sam…just talk to Jess," she replied. The young Winchester looked down at the concrete of the steps outside his apartment and sighed.

"I can't."

He heard the motherly tsking from Becky as she shifted closer to put a hand on his shoulder. "You can't really fault her for wanting to know about your family Sam." He knocked his tennis shoe against the lowest step, still not meeting her eyes.

"It's not really something I can talk about."

"Sam…if they…" Becky stopped, he could picture her expression perfectly—sitting there chewing on her lip. "Sam if they were…if they ever…" He whirled on her, eyes widening.

"It's not like that!"

Becky raised her hands placating, "But if it was kiddo…you know you could come to us? Me and Zach…we…were here for you." Sam deflated.

"Nothing like that happened Beck…it just…wasn't ideal."

She reached over and pushed the bangs away from his face, "So tell her that."

He huffed. "She wants openness Beck, that's something I can't do."

"Why?" She softly asked.

"Because. It's too hard to think about my family 'cause every time I do I miss them so much it hurts and it gets hard to get through the day when all I can think of is what I lost and how much I wish things had been different! And that for once I could have a normal family so I could actually see my brother instead of awkward phone calls once a month!"

Becky smiled, rubbing circles on his back comfortingly. "Tell her that," she said, drawing out something from behind her. She handed him a bouquet of pink and purple wild flowers.

"They're her favorite," she explained, squeezing his shoulder encouragingly before standing and heading back in. Sam looked at the flowers and a smile crossed his lips.

Maybe he wasn't completely on his own.