AN: I can't believe I've acctually finished a story! It's short, but hey, this is a BIG step for me. I've been writing for years, and not once have been able to complete my stories. *pats self on back* zeroo friends. Haha, ANYWAY, I did not expect this story to happen, I was falling asleep when I came up with the idea, so I just grabbed my phone and furiously started writing on a sticky note app, again, zero friends. It just felt so perfect.

Summary: When Lucy persuades Levi to purchase some new perfume heavily laced with pheromones during a shopping trip, it turns the guild into a madhouse of testosterone. Gazille seems to be the only way of helping her escaping this mess. But she is just so damned alluring, and it's driving him nuts. GazilleXLevi one-shot. T for mild language. Sounds dirtier than it is. (;

Disclaimer: I WISH I owned Fairy Tail. But sadly I do not own nor am I associated with the manga/anime series Fairy Tail, I also don't make any money by writing. I'm just here to write about them for free and what not. Gazille and Levi belong to Hiro Mashima. *sighs heavily and walks away.*

Enjoy the crack. :}


It had been a pretty peaceful day in the guild of Fairy Tail. It was cloudy and quiet and many had been off on missions. Those who stayed simply decided to lay back and take it easy. At the bar, a familiar blonde summoner and a petite bookworm sat idly chatting.

"I'm glad we went shopping today." Lucy chirped as she sifted through one of her many shopping bags.

"Me too." Levi agreed. "I needed some new clothes. And I'm glad you persuaded me to get some new perfume, I think I needed some."

"Ooh! Looks like someone went shopping." Mirajane sang as she glided out of the kitchen. "What did you ladies get?"

"I just got a few new tops; a couple of mine were burned on our last mission." Lucy sighed. "At least it makes it a good reason to go shopping."

"What about you Levi?" Mirajane grinned.

"Oh I just got a few clothing items and some perfume."

"Ooh! Let me see!"

Levi pulled out a deep blue petite rotund glass bottle capped with a silver branching design.

Sapphire eyes immediately lit up. "Ooh Allure! I've heard about this. It's laced with pheromones, and it guarantees any guy will fall for you! Oh Levi you must try it on now!" The platinum tressed barmaid beamed.

Levi giggled. "Oh Mira you know that stuff never works. It's silly."

"I think it sounds interesting Levi you should try it."

"Lucy?"

"Please Levi? Come on." Mirajane beamed.

The cyan haired beauty hesitated for a moment. "Um...well alright."

Mirajane wasted no time in snatching the elixir and dousing the petite bookworm. Levi coughed as she breathed the intoxicating scent of sandalwood, vanilla, ylang ylang, and rose.

"Mirajane!" she choked

"There." The blonde smiled. "I think you smell wonderful."

A little while later Levi was reading alone at one of the tables when Jet and Droy came over to talk.
"Oh Levi you look stunning today." It was Droy.

"Yes absolutely radiant." Jet followed.

"Uh...thank you guys?" Levi peered from her book. She flashed them a smile. They were so sweet, even if they were a tad strange sometimes.

"Oi Levi! You smell nice today." Gray joined in.

Levi blushed. "Thank you."

Juvia's face turned red, "Juvia thinks Levi is after Gray too."

"No no Juvia!" Levi cringed.

"Hey Gray where are your clothes?" Erza inquisited.

Gray yelped. "Again?"

"It would not be manly not to say that your hair looks manly today Levi." Elfman contributed.

"Ahh thank you?" Levi sunk deeper into the table. This was getting really uncomfortable really fast.

Gazille and Pantherlily were enjoying a nice silent stroll toward the guild when something caught his nose.

"Do you smell that?"

"Smell what?"

"That smell."

"Which smell?"

"You can't smell it?"

"I have no clue what you're talking about."

"Maybe cats can't smell it?"

"I guess so. But what is it?"

"I dunno."

"Then how are you smelling it?"

"It smells...good. But I don't know what it is. It makes me feel all warm." The Iron Dragon Slayer shivered.

As the two entered the guild his smell heightened and increased as he noticed a swarm of mages crowding around a table. Gazille simply shrugged and continued his way up to the balcony. When they were up there, he decided to see what all this damned commotion was about. As he peered over he spotted the smart girl in the center of the chaos. Suddenly intrigued, he could make out only gibberish and nonsense being said around the group but noticed Levi's quickly reddening face.

"Any idea what's going on?" Lily broke his concentration.

"Nah. Probably something stupid." Gazille waved as he lounged against the wall.

Mirajanes eyes twinkled as she observed Gazille eyeing a certain cyan haired beauty.

Levi on the other hand was feeling very uncomfortable. She was sure her face was on fire as she concentrated on the table. She only wanted to read in silence. She dared to glance up as she spotted Gazille on the balcony, she then quickly thought of an idea.

Making pleading eye contact with Lucy who was currently holding down Natsu for being "inconsiderate." The blonde nodded, and the bookworm started to slowly sink underneath the table, book in tow. She stealthily crawled through the crowd of feet until she finally reached the outside. As quietly as she could, she maneuvered her way up the balcony stairs until she reached the top. When she looked up, she caught eye contact with a smirking Gazille and a slightly amused Pantherlily.

"What happened to you?" Gazille gave her bedraggled form a once over. Just then the scent caught his nose. It was her. And it was really strong.

"I don't know. But you have got to help me."

"Why?"

"I need to get out of here. Please?" Maple eyes met with his crimson ones in a pleading manner.

There was a period of silence before Gazille groaned and got up.

"Alright. Alright" he sighed "Just keep up with me okay? Come on Lily."He motioned toward the Exceed as Levi nodded.

Levi held her breath as they inched closer to the door. Gazille was right, as long as she stood right beside him no one could see her hidden by his tall form.

Mirajane smugly watched them sneak out of the guild. Suddenly she had an idea.
Inches away from the door, Levy reached out to push when she heard, her name being called, as she turned she spotted Mirajane waving farewell.

All was silent as the focus landed on the odd couple by the door. "Shit." Gazille hissed. He pulled her out the door by her arm as quickly as possible. Cries of sadness and protest arose as he sprinted with her in tow down the village street. Confused Levi just followed.

Pretty soon they stopped at a fountain surrounded by a park with benches.

Levi tried to catch her breath. "That was so close. Thank you Gazille. I owe you." She flashed him a grin.

"Eh." was all he said as he looked the other way. He told himself she should leave, but it almost felt impossible. He seemed...allured...by her somehow. Sure he thought she was amazing, and he couldn't deny she was a looker, but lately he was just intrigued by everything about her. Every time he looked at her, he felt guilty for what he had done to her. She never deserved it. But regardless, she had forgiven him anyway. She no longer feared him. It was a prospect that was totally mind blowing to him. It all frustrated and confused him. She pulled him in, just like a magnet, damned pheromones. Shaking his head he turned around and sat on the grass.
Levi plopped down beside him as she opened her book to read.

Unperturbed by their proximity she sat there in peace for some time. Just then Gazille realized what was causing her magnetism. "Pheromones." He stated.

"Excuse me?" Levi was startled.

"You smell highly of pheromones. It's intoxicating."

Levi blushed. "Um sorry?"Just then a realization hit her. She groaned, "Mirajane!"

"Hn." Gazille grunted.

"So that was why I kept getting odd compliments, I knew something was off! Mira was right; the pheromones in that perfume really did work." She huffed.

"Careful. Don't want to go around attracting the wrong people." Gazille snorted.

"I think I'll decide who the "wrong people" are." she giggled playfully. "So you can actually smell them? Your sense of smell must be amazing!"

All Gazille could do was nod. She did indeed smell very good. He almost wanted to bury his face in her skin and just breathe. But he didn't want to freak her out. That was weird right? He wanted to slap himself. Why was he putting up with all this? This wasn't like him.

There was a comfortable silence as Levi went back to reading. After some time he felt something on his shoulder. He looked down to see a head of blue hair resting on his left bicep, she had fallen asleep? He sighed and turned his face the other way. His face was slightly red as he didn't dare budge. After all she was so damned attractive.

Where the hell was that damned cat?

Lily smugly sat at the bar next to Mira observing the commotion in the guild.
"Where do you think they went?" he asked.

"I have no idea. I hope someplace lovely." She shrugged.

"Knowing Gazille he might have just dropped her off somewhere and left. Although..." He pondered, "…I don't know. He seems kind of infatuated with her."

"Yes I've noticed." Mira smiled as she dodged a shoe from the rowdy gathering a few meters in front of them.

Lily chuckled, "Did you plan this?"

Mira smiled and shrugged, "I have no idea what you're talking about. I just start the job and let fate take care of the rest."

"Clever."

"I like to think so."

"Cheers to that." Lily lifted his mug of water and clinked it with the cup Mira was wiping off.

"Cheers." The fair-haired mage grinned.

"Natsu, you idiot, what are you doing!" Lucy squealed.

"But Lucy you smell so good!" The salmon-haired fire mage had his arms wrapped around the honey-eyed spirit mage as he crushed her in an embrace.

"Natsu let go!" Lucy huffed, blushing slightly.

"Nooo." He cried.

"Mira! Did you do this? Can you help me? Please?" The blonde pleaded

"Sorry Lucy, my hands are full." Mira apologized.

Lucy cried out in frustration as she ineffectively tried to squirm out of his hold. This was going to be a very long evening.