Our story begins...
No, Sorry, begins is quite the wrong word. The beginning of this story is needlessly complex and shall be revealed in due time. However, the interesting part of this story, the part you came here to read, begins on the 2nd of May, 2016. A young man sits at his desk, toying with the Honorary Placronym which he received exactly 4 years ago, on his 13th birthday.
What name do you suppose would be inscribed on the aforementioned Placronym?
Samuel Kane.
Hmmmmm... Not bad... You're already doing a lot better than some readers I could mention...
Your name is SAMUEL KANE. You are an AVID READER with a fascination with OBJECTS OF ANCIENT LEGEND, regardless of their IRRITATING FAKENESS ATTRIBUTE. You enjoy COMPLEX MENTAL PUZZLES despite feeling you have quite a bit of room for improvement. You enjoy SCIENCE FICTION and FANTASY, but find the film adaptations often leave you VEHEMENTLY DETESTING THE DIRECTOR. You live with your father, a rather eccentric man with a bizarre fixation on GAMES OF CHANCE. As was previously hinted, today is the 17th anniversary of your birth. It is also the main server for a NEW GAME that you have been anticipating for months. However, your FAILURE TO OBTAIN A COPY OF THE GAME DISK has rendered this fact something of a moot point.
Your ChumHandle is ancientAcadeima and you refuse to waste valuable time on such frivolity as a typing quirk.
What should we do next?
Retrieve Arms From Desk.
...You know what? I take it back. Your no better than any of the other Readers. You should be ashamed.
Fine, you wish to go down that route? So be it.
You slide open your desk draw to reveal your precious Revolver.
Alas, as you live in the Great Britain, instead of in say... the USA, your gun is little more than a rather bad-ass paperweight. Some of your Friends in the states don't quite grasp why the British government has placed laws against carrying firearms in public. Ok, one friend. To be fair, he has a fascination with guns that borders on obsessive, so his opinions may not be a true representation of the general population...
Ah well, cool though your pistol is, you doubt you'll have cause to add it to your strife deck any time soon.
What now?
Cthulhu Fhtagn
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
Oh boy do you love H. P. Lovecraft... Gods rest his soul.
Anyways, looks like someone wishes to remind you of the fact it is the anniversary of your birth. Personally, you don't really care much for birthdays, one way or the other, save for the fact you usually get more books.
Answer Chum
