A/N: Hellooooooo, readers! :D So, first off, *claps hands together* most of you are aware that I wrote a story called "Night Terrors" (one-shot focusing on Hiccup and Valka bonding), and I had someone (snoopykid by name if anyone wants to know) request a fic with a similar plotline, only with Astrid in the place of Valka. So, yes, there are similarities, but it's also different, so...yes. And no, you don't need to read "Night Terrors" before reading this. You can if you want, but seriously, I'm not asking you to or anything. ;) Enjoy! :D
Everyone has some moment in their lives that they wish they could forget. Everyone has a something they wished they never witnessed, felt, or saw. Everyone has regrets of some sort. Everyone wants to forget something, be it something large and life-changing, or small and insignificant.
For Astrid, one of the biggest things was watching Hiccup sob over the body of his dead father.
There were many things besides that that Astrid wished she could forget, of course, but the one mentioned earlier must have been the most unnerving. She wasn't used to seeing Hiccup cry, especially not like he did the day his father was killed right in front of him.
Hiccup was a mentally strong person, with a strong will of mind and a can-do attitude that always boosted the others around him wherever he went. He had a sense of confidence about him that would make anyone trust him in whatever he was doing. Even when he was adjusting to life without his leg, he would trip, fall, and get up again a moment later.
But seeing him like he was only three months before, screaming "DAD!" while he tried to rouse his father was almost too much for Astrid. It was such a contrast to how he normally acted that it freaked her out to a large extent.
She knocked on the wooden door to the Haddock residence. Although it had been nearly three months since the battle, she was still worried about Hiccup. The first few days after being appointed Chief of Berk, she had helped him and talked to him, and reminded him that even though he was Chief, he didn't have to run himself ragged and that he could still sleep at night without worrying about someone else needing his help.
He hadn't gotten better at getting to sleep at a decent hour, but he was also letting Astrid and his friends help him more often, which made Astrid pleased. At least he was doing that much and not pretending that he could do everything alone.
It didn't take long before Valka opened the door and met Astrid's eyes, looking surprised, but not entirely shocked. It wasn't the first time Valka opened the door to Astrid standing there.
"Good evening, Valka," Astrid said, almost nervously. Even after three months, she still hadn't gotten used to the fact that Valka was Hiccup's mother.
The air was cold and crisp, like it normally was. The sky was dark, so Astrid figured that saying "Good night" would have been more appropriate than "Good evening", but she, quite honestly, couldn't bring herself to care. Valka knew what she meant, and that was the important thing.
"Evening, Astrid," Valka replied. "What are you doing here?"
"I was coming to see if Hiccup was alright," Astrid said. Valka stepped away from the door, and Astrid accepted her invitation in. The house was quiet, and Toothless was sleeping in front of the fireplace.
"Oh," Valka said as she shut the door quietly. "He's sleeping."
Astrid spun around to face Hiccup's mother. "Really?" she asked. Valka nodded. "I'm surprised you got him to get in bed," Astrid commented. "Normally, he doesn't get to sleep until midnight."
"I didn't get him in bed," Valka said. "He passed out at his desk. Toothless helped me get him to his bed, but...still."
Astrid sighed. It wasn't the first time Hiccup had passed out, either. "Aww...the poor idiot…" she murmured. "What was he doing this time?"
"Oh, he was working on some new plans for Gobber," Valka filled her in quickly. "I believe...something along...oh, wait, no...yes, he was working on some new plans for buildings...I believe. Yes. He said he wanted to work on some more, since most of them were destroyed by the ice."
Astrid nodded. Even after three months, Berk wasn't even close to being back to normal. It seemed as though no matter how hard the Berkians worked, there would always be more ice to clear away, more houses to repair, and more problems to be sorted out.
"I was going to drop the papers off with Gobber," Valka said. "You're welcome to stay, if you like. Maybe if Hiccup wakes up you could make sure he doesn't try to get up. He's pushing his limits, and quite honestly, I don't think he knows that he is."
Astrid nodded. "Sure," she said. "If he tries to move, I'll make sure he doesn't." She wasn't surprised by Valka's offer. She would often times stay out until late helping Hiccup with different things. It came as no big shock.
Valka nodded and collected a stack of papers. Afterwards, she bid Astrid goodbye, said she would be back soon, and headed off.
Astrid patted her sides and sat down at the table. The silence of the house was broken only by the crackling wood in the fireplace and Toothless' snores. Something about the house just felt...off. Astrid couldn't put her finger on what it was, but it just seemed different. Strange, even.
Toothless' ears twitched, and Astrid was instantly looking in the dragon's direction. After another moment, Toothless' eyes opened, and he lifted his head, sniffing the air.
That meant something, didn't it? And probably not something good, either.
Astrid didn't have much time elsewise before Toothless bolted to his feet and rocketed up the staircase. Astrid, only half aware of what she was doing, sprang to her feet and raced after the dragon.
She didn't have time to think about what could have been wrong before they reached the loft. It seemed quiet enough, and Astrid wondered for a second if Toothless had called a false alarm, when there was a small, very quiet moan.
Hiccup was on his side on his bed in a fetal position, from what Astrid could make out. When she approached the bedside, she noticed that his face was contorted in a grimace, and she couldn't help but feel terrible for him.
He always got nightmares after the Red Death, and sometimes, he even got nightmares after the time he was struck by lightning, the day Toothless was almost banished. But Astrid never saw Hiccup have nightmares the way he had them after the death of his father. According to Valka, he always woke up screaming bloody murder and not fully knowing where he was or even who he was.
Sometimes, Astrid wondered what he saw in his dreams, while the other part of her was happy it remained a mystery in her mind. It would probably break her heart to know the truth, and she knew it.
Hiccup groaned again, rolling over on his other side before rapidly doing it once again, so that he was tossing and turning. Astrid wanted to wake him up...when she looked at Toothless, she realized that the Night Fury must have wanted to, too. So, she reached out and grabbed Hiccup's shoulder, giving it a firm yet gentle shake.
"Hiccup," she whispered harshly. No response. "Hiccup," she said, louder the second time. "Hiccup!"
"No," Hiccup murmured. "Don't...don't...Dad…"
Astrid's eyes widened. No, not this dream. Not this one. She knew how this one ended. She knew the scene Hiccup was reliving. She had to wake him up. Wake him up, before he -
"NO, DAD! NO!"
Too late.
Hiccup lurched forward with a breathy shriek, promptly falling off the bed afterwards and hitting the floor with a clump. Astrid whispered his name in confusion and worry as she raced to the other side of the bed.
She touched Hiccup's shoulder.
And he screamed.
Toothless went berserk while Astrid tried in vain to get Hiccup to calm down. She was terrified. This wasn't what she normally saw from him...heck, she never saw this from him. Valka wasn't here, either. She would know what to do...she was Hiccup's mother. Astrid didn't have the faintest idea on what to do.
She put her arm around his shoulders. He shuddered violently and thrashed, and Astrid's heart nearly broke. "Please," she whispered. "Calm down...calm down, please…"
Hiccup jerked away, and she didn't try to restrain him. "N-no! St-Stop it! Don't do it...Toothless!" Hiccup yelled. His eyes were open, but they were unfocused and glazed over, and Astrid wondered if he was really awake or not. "NO! DON'T TOUCH HIM! YOU MONSTER!"
Then, he reached for Inferno, and Astrid just about had a panic attack. She didn't know what he would do once he got his weapon, and the fact terrified her.
"No, Hiccup!" she shouted. She wasn't fast enough to stop him from arming himself. The fire lapped Inferno's blade, and Hiccup swung his sword.
Astrid grabbed his wrist and held it tight, gritting her teeth. She was stronger than Hiccup normally, but...she didn't know what he saw in his nightmare. She didn't know what kinds of horrors he witnessed over and over, time and time again. She didn't even think he was fully awake.
That didn't make it any less terrifying, though, because right now as she tried to keep Inferno's fire from touching her skin, he was stronger than she remembered him being.
"Hiccup!" she yelped. "Stop!"
"No! Stop it!" Hiccup cried. "Stop it! Stop! He...he...DAD!"
She decided to try a different approach, because screaming at Hiccup certainly wasn't going to do anything. "Hiccup," she tried calmly. "Hiccup…Hiccup, I know, I know you're scared…" He struggled against her hold, but she didn't let him go. "Hiccup," she said forcefully.
He met her eyes, his green eyes wide and terrified. His sporadic breaths turned into even yet wheezy ones, and his grip on Inferno loosened.
Astrid pried his fingers off the hilt the rest of the way and took it from his hand. Afterwards, she retracted the blade and tossed the weapon aside. "Okay, there," she said. "There, see?"
Hiccup blinked at her. "Astrid?" he whispered.
"Yeah, idiot," Astrid whispered back. She smiled softly. "I love you."
That was all it took before he leaned forward and captured her in a tight embrace. She had been expecting it, so she was able to return the hug.
"Astrid," he gasped into her shoulder, clinging to her tightly. "Astrid."
"Yeah, I'm right here," she assured him. "Right here. And I'm not going anywhere."
She sat there holding him, until he started sobbing. He squeezed her tightly, and she held him back with more ferocity. "Okay, hey," Astrid whispered. "Hey, you're okay...Hiccup?"
"I'm sorry," Hiccup choked. His warm, salty tears soaked her shoulder and collarbone, and she hardly realized it. "I'm...I-I'm...so sorry, Astrid…"
Astrid shut her eyes and held him just a little tighter. "You shouldn't apologize," she whispered, running her fingers through his sweaty hair. "You didn't do anything...you didn't do anything wrong…" She was still terrified, though. She made sure Inferno was far away enough, just to be safe.
"But...b-but…" Hiccup sobbed. He choked briefly before his crying continued. "I...I can't...I can't do anything…" he whimpered. "I can't...I can't...I can't even...even close my eyes...without...without...seeing...him dead…"
Astrid didn't want to imagine what that was like. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "I'm sorry." She was sorry, too. She was sorry he had to go through all this. She was sorry Hiccup was suffering so much. She was sorry she didn't know what to do to help Hiccup while he was having a night terror. She was sorry Stoick had died. She was sorry she couldn't do more.
There were so many things she was sorry for.
Toothless crooned and tried to approach, but the minute he did, Hiccup shrieked and sprang backwards. "No!" he cried. Astrid let him go, not wanting to force him to stay if something was terrifying him. "No, st-stay away!" Hiccup pressed himself against the wall, his knees drawn up to his chest. Toothless' ears went flat against his head, and he bowed his head with sorrow. He tried to approach again, and Hiccup only looked more terrified than before. "Please...please stay...away…" Hiccup begged.
"Hiccup," Astrid tried to approach him again, crawling towards him slowly. She understood why Toothless scared him, really, she did, but it made her heart ache, especially seeing Toothless' reaction.
She didn't have time to react elsewise before Hiccup dove into her arms again. Astrid was more than happy to be Hiccup's shoulder to cry on, but she was worried for his sake now more than ever. She and him were close, of course, but even then, Hiccup hardly ever let his guard down around her, like he was doing now.
"What's wrong?" she asked, although she was pretty sure she already knew the answer.
Hiccup, in response, whimpered. "He...he...plasma blast...killed my father…" Hiccup cried. "Please...don...don't want…"
Astrid pulled away and grabbed his hands, holding them in both of hers. They were shaking, and Astrid rubbed her thumbs over his knuckles. "Hiccup," she said, "I want you to get something straight, alright?" Hiccup nodded shakily. "Alright," Astrid said. "Hiccup, who killed your father?"
Hiccup paused. "T-Toothless," he said.
Astrid squeezed his hands. "No," she said. "No, Toothless didn't kill Stoick. Drago did. Drago used Toothless. Drago controlled Toothless. Toothless didn't know what he was doing. Toothless is innocent, Hiccup. Drago is the one to blame."
Hiccup looked at her, his teary eyes meeting hers. She was pretty sure that if she watched him scream or sob or fall into a night terror again, she would simply lose it and cry along with him.
"Oh gods…" Hiccup whispered. "Oh...oh gods...I know. I know, I...I just...I can't…" Hiccup shut his eyes tightly, his teeth clenched. Astrid pulled him into an embrace once again, and he let her, his arms hanging limp at his sides.
"I know," she said. "It might take a while, but...it'll be alright. It'll be fine."
"I miss him," Hiccup sobbed. "I miss him...I miss him so much, Astrid."
Astrid held him a little tighter. "I know," she said. "Oh, I know, Hiccup. I do, too." She knew she would never miss Stoick as much as Hiccup, but in honesty, she did miss Stoick. She knew him well, and she enjoyed his company. She was still trying to grasp the fact that he was gone.
But she couldn't think of that now. Now, she had to be there for Hiccup. "Let it out," she coaxed. "Let it out...it's alright...I'm here for you...let it out…"
She lost count of how many minutes she and Hiccup spent like that, but at length, Hiccup stopped crying, his sobs reduced to small gasps he was taking instead of smooth breaths.
After feeling it was safe to move, Toothless approached the duo. Hiccup turned his head and laid his hand on Toothless' muzzle, and Toothless nuzzled Hiccup's side.
"I'm so sorry, Toothless," Hiccup said. "Please...c-could you forgive me?"
In response, Toothless licked him. Hiccup made a small noise of disgust, but did nothing elsewise. "Alright," Hiccup said. "Th...thank you, Toothless." He dropped his head against Astrid's shoulder again, feeling too exhausted to even hold it up on his own.
Astrid felt it, too, and knew that she should probably get him back into his bed so he could sleep. "Here," she said. "Let's get you back to bed, and you can sleep, if you want…" She tried to rise to a stand and pull him up with her, but he wrapped his arms around her neck and held tightly as if she were his lifeline, and as if he were terrified at the mere thought of letting her go. "Hiccup," she said, "I'm not going anywhere…I just want to get you into bed..."
Hiccup's eyes said it all, and Astrid knew he didn't care whether or not he slept on the floor. Astrid sighed, sitting back against the ground. "Alright," she said. "I'll just stay here, then. But seriously, you can lay down. I know you're tired."
Hiccup sighed with relief and laid back, his upper body in her lap. "Thank you, Astrid," he whispered, and promptly passed out, finally exhausted from panicking, crying, and his duties of the day. Astrid didn't let him go, even after he was sleeping soundly. Toothless curled around Astrid and his rider and put his head down, sleeping almost instantly.
Then, the sound of the door opening and closing met Astrid's ears, followed by a few moments of silence before footsteps were heard. Valka appeared in the doorway, looking first at Astrid, then Toothless, and then Hiccup.
"Hiccup," she breathed, racing towards him and Astrid. She put her hand on his sweaty brow and brushed his damp bangs out of his face. "Oh, he's warm," she murmured worriedly. Astrid hadn't noticed it before, but Hiccup's skin did feel unnaturally warm.
"Is he going to be okay?" Astrid asked, simply because she didn't know what else to say. "He's not sick, is he?"
Valka shook her head. "Thankfully, no," she said. "Well...not yet, anyway. He's just worked up, poor thing...did he have another night terror?"
Astrid's head shot up in her direction. "Another one?" she questioned. She felt her heart break when Valka nodded. How many times did Hiccup suffer like he did that night? How many times did he go through that torture? "How did I not know about this before?" she asked.
"He begged me not to tell you," Valka said. "He didn't want you to think he was weak…" She took her hand off Hiccup's forehead and rose to a stand. "Hang on, I'm going to get something for his head." She turned and raced off without another word, returning minutes later with a soaking, dripping wet rag which she proceeded to put on Hiccup's forehead. "There," she said. "That should cool him down. He gets so worked up...he's made himself sick a few times before, and it's not something I want to happen again."
"How many times, exactly?" Astrid questioned.
"Maybe two or three-"
"No, Valka," Astrid said. "I meant, how many night terrors has he had? In total?"
Valka sighed. "I don't know," she said. "Maybe five or six over the course of three months...the healer said that it's normal for someone traumatized to have them, and she gave me some herbs to help him sleep afterwards, but still. I can't stand seeing him like that."
Astrid understood what she meant. "I know," she said. "Me neither. How...how do you do it? I mean, how do you get him to stop panicking?"
"I don't know, Astrid," Valka admitted. "Sometimes, all it takes is him hearing a familiar voice, but...it's not always that easy. Normally, being gentle and caring is the best way to coax him out of them, but even then, that doesn't always work, either."
Astrid frowned with worry. "Didn't the healer say anything to help you?" she asked. Valka shook her head. "What about the herbs? Could we give him some of those to help him sleep?"
Valka nodded and rose to a stand. "Yes," she said. "I'll go get some ready."
"Should I go ahead and wake him up?" Astrid asked.
Valka shook her head softly. "I wouldn't just yet, dear," she said. "You know how hard he's been working everyday without stopping. He's exhausted. We'll wake him up when I have the herbs ready, and then he can go back to sleep after he takes them."
Astrid nodded. "Alright," she said. "Just hurry, though, please. I don't want him relapsing into that nightmare again."
Valka was out almost as soon as whose words left Astrid's mouth, and Astrid refocused her attention on Hiccup. She took the rag off his forehead momentarily and used it to wipe the tear streaks off his face. He whimpered and sighed, cracking his eyes open just barely.
"Ast...Astrid…" he whispered.
"Shh," Astrid said softly. "Rest. You'll feel better for it."
Hiccup sighed and shut his eyes once again. "Th...thank you, Astrid," he whispered. "Thank you so much…"
She didn't even have time to make a reply afterwards before Hiccup was sleeping soundly once again, and Astrid smiled warmly at him.
He had been broken by the death of his father, and crushed by watching Toothless being forced to do it. Hiccup was twenty by age, but sometimes, Astrid still saw him as a young boy who needed someone to be there for him and look after him.
At that moment, Astrid made a promise. She would be the one there for him. She would be his shoulder to cry on. She would piece the broken boy whom she loved dearly back together.
No matter what it took.
Author's Notes:
HICCSTRID. I SHIP HICCSTRID LIKE AN ARMADA OF...SHIPS. I really do. I don't think anyone works better with Astrid than Hiccup, and vice versa for Hiccup with Astrid. I used to have a few other ships for Hiccup, but then…
LOL, NAH. HICCSTRID FOR THE WIN. XD So, I like Hiccstrid...and I know, I know, I torture Hiccup in a lot of my stories...and I want you to know that it's not like I like hurting Hiccup or making his life miserable! I just...I just...I like writing other character's reactions to it.
Does that make sense? No? I thought nothing less.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, GUYS, I JUST LEARNED SOMETHING. IN RACE TO THE EDGE, THERE MIGHT BE A MUSICAL EPISODE.
THERE MIGHT BE A MUSICAL EPISODE. WE MIGHT GET A MUSICAL EPISODE, GUYS. Ha, funny...I don't know if I'll be laughing all the way through it or crying all the way through it. Lol. I still can't get over the time where Ruffnut was singing in the episode, "Free Scauldy", where she was all, "Don't let the enemy see you're afraid, or else he's gonna gut you with a rusty blade!" I was laughing so hard there. XD
IF HICCUP AND ASTRID SING "FOR THE DANCING AND THE DREAMING" TOGETHER FOR SOME REASON, MY HICCSTRID SIDE IS GOING TO EXPLODE!
So, guys, I was wondering: which story of mine is your favorite, and what's your favorite part about it? I'm just curious, because hey, I want to do the genre that people like to read. ;) Soooo...
Until next story!
-BeyondTheClouds777
