Here's my Christmas oneshot, and I'm getting it over and done with before I forget and get bitched at by Rose or someone.
Cheater!
In the home of a Hyuuga, not far from the rest, not a ninja was stirring, not even the best. (Lol, I made a funny. ~Strife)
Although I am lying, and he is downstairs, the kids and his other are really in bed. Now what was he doing? I might here you ask, and the answer is simple:
HE'S CHEATING.
Not with a women, nor man for that fact. (I made a funny again. ~Strife.) But with his eyes he is seeing the presents insides. (Damn me. ~Strife.)
What do you mean he's cheating? Why, he's looking at what he's going to get in the morning, for Neji Hyuuga never likes surprises.
And with a smirk on his face, with knowledge he shouldn't know, he crept back upstairs and back to his room. Pulling the covers away with a flick, he saw his wife's sleeping face, peaceful and sound. A flash of guilt struck him, but he pushed it aside, and crawled into bed so quietly you'd never know that he was moving.
Ah, but one person did, and that was his wife. She said with a grin much to Neji's dislike.
"Those weren't the real presents, hun. I'm onto your tricks, and their hidden away. Someplace that you'll never even check, because it's right under your nose and you'll never guess it."
A scowl on his face the cheater got up, walked out of the room and into another. This year would be different for sure, because Hyuuga Neji had to look for more.
"Where could they be? I can tell they're in the house, but where has that woman put them?"
He checked in the kids' room and under the sink, again near the tree and into the basement. He checked in the TV cabinet and to the kitchen's he crept, but to no avail; not a present in sight.
"She has to be kidding, they aren't where they should be. Maybe the presents really are under the tree."
But mind games were for Ino and he married no Yamanaka, he married a- Wait. Now he's got it.
He went up to the attic and to a large chest, put in the code and open it with a smirk. None.
"If they aren't in the weapon chest then where the hell ar-" Footsteps were heard behind said cheater, but he stayed calm, staring into the confines of the black hole which was a chest.
"You'll have to wait and see, Neji. But, now it's my turn. If you promise not to look, I'll show you where they are."
The Hyuuga agreed with that sneaky wife of his and followed her to the bedroom where she lifted the covers.
"Under the bed?"
"Under the bed."
--
After long hours sleepless agony, Christmas morning was there. With bounds as great as Lee's the children jumped in the room.
"Christmas!" They shouted, but Neji knew too well. The great cheater had been cheated at his own game.
Downstairs he was led, and back to the tree, they sat down with the camera and garbage bags, to watch the children's joy.
Once all was said and done, there were 3 gifts left. 2 from the cheater and 1 for him. The mistress opened her's first, and hugged him for the thought. 1 expensive katana and a diamond necklace were ok, but she didn't need those things.
He opened his next with a depressed look on his face. Just a note. It read:
Dear cheater,
Finally beat at your own game, eh? Well, I forgive you.
"Forgiven for what?" You'd ask.
For being an ass.
"What'd I do?" You'd ask.
You were an ass, hello!
"What the hell did I do to be an ass?" You'd ask.
For getting me presents.
"What? Are you insane?" You'd ask.
Yes, but so are you. Ass.
"Can you stop calling me that and answer my questions?" You'd ask.
No. Ass. I don't need jewelry or weapons to be happy. Ass. I need more than that. Ass.
"What would be more than that?" You'd ask.
A lot of things. Like, for instance, going for a walk, smiling, cooking supper, not cheating on me with presents, some love and affection for no reason. Ass.
"Stop making me feel guilty." You'd say.
Wow, no questions? Ass. I'm making you feel guilty? Like last night when you knew you were being bad yet you acted as if nothing was wrong?
"Well, yeah, but that's not the point." You'd defend.
Yes it is. I love you, Hyuuga, but damn; You're an ass.
Love, TenTen.
P.S. I expect a good New Years. Ass.
Neji looked up from the letter to see his wife gone. He looked around and she wasn't there. Probably in the kitchen or something. Was he that much of an ass? What the hell did he actually do? Nothing, and that was it. He was an ass because he did nothing.
"Have you come to a conclusion?" A voice came from behind him.
"I'm an ass?"
"Good boy."
--
Happy? I'm posting it today, and yet it's Thanksgiving. I'll probably post a Thanksgiving one too.
Ok, I don't think many of you got this. The point of the story: Neji is a child when it comes to Christmas presents and he trys to cheat by looking through it and into the present, but TenTen hid the real ones. Then, she explains to Neji that he's an ass and he needs to do more stuff for her, and that would be the best Christmas present. Yeah. His 1 present was advice in the form of insults. Sucks to be him; Sleepy from looking for his presents and then owned by TenTen.
Oh, did I forget to mention that he's an ass? Didn't think so.
~Strife.
