Disclaimer : I don't own anything. Super Smash Bros. is the property of Nintendo and HAL Laboratory. Enjoy!

Master Hand and his Rants

Chapter One : The Anger Strike

"Hey , hey , hey , hey , welcome everyone to the Master Hand Show. I'm your host , Master Hand!" , shouted the happy hand.

The audience claps.

"Today's guess is a plumber who recently moved from Brooklyn to the Mushroom Kingdom. Please welcome Mario!" , shouted Master Hand.

Mario walked in and took his seat besides Master Hand.

"Welcome Mario! How are you feeling?" , said Master Hand.

"How am I feeling? BEEP I feel TERRIBLE! Every bad things has been happening to me!" , said the angered plumber.

"How bad?"

"Horrible!"

Peach was floating across the building. Suddenly a terrible strong wind came.

"Whoa! It too freezing cold! Oh well." , said Peach as she was continuing to glide.

Unfortunately , the wind blew her away.

"AAIIEE!!!" , screamed the princess.

The wind blew her to the studio.

Back at the studio…

"Any profanity you have to say before I beat you shitless?" , shouted the angered Master Hand.

"Yeah! BEEP you!" , shouted Mario.

"Okay that's it!" , said Master Hand as he pushed the button to bring security.

"Bring it on fool!" , said Mario as the guard surrounded him.

"That's it you dumbo! I don't want to see your – " said Master Hand as he was cut off by Peach who landed on Mario's head.

"Mamma Mia!" squealed Peach.

Mario was blinded by Peach and Master Hand pushes a button and sends them into a pit which they fall and died.

Audience claps…

"Success!" , said the Happy Master Hand.

Suddenly out of nowhere , Yoshi was standing angered by Mario's death.

"Oh boy." , said Master Hand.

Yoshi accidently fell into the pit but survived by hovering to a ledge.

"Well folks. I guess that's it for now but listen up all right?" , said Master Hand.

The audience cheered.

"The one thing I fucking TODAY is not to get angered by people so easily!"

The morale of the day appeared.

"So it should say 'You weren't the first nor the last to let shitty anger problems to ruin your life." He said as the morale showed crossbones with a skeleton.

"Or you might do this" , he said to the audience showing a video.

The video shows Mario killing security guards with a shotgun.

"And you end up like this!"

The next video shows Mario's and Peach's grave.

"Well we'll be right back soon."

Screen fades away.

Review please!