Every day is a new day, and you'll never be able to find happiness if you don't move on.
-Carrie Underwood
Numb. That was a good word for how Maggie felt. Numb. From the moment she saw her sister's limp body in the arms of Daryl, she had felt like everything was gone. She broke down, her cries were loud and she didn't try to hide them. She didn't care that she was bringing in walkers, she didn't care that she was vulnerable to the world.
When Glenn wrapped his arms around her she shrugged him away. She didn't want comfort, she didn't want anything at the moment but her sister alive and in her arms. She wanted to hug her, see the large innocent smile that always brightened up the room, but that would never happen. She would never hear her sister sing again, hear her cheerful voice.
When she had finally pulled her attention back to the reality around her she had shakenly got to her feet. Daryl was standing in front of her with her sister in his arms. His eyes were filled with tears just like her. She reached out and placed a hand on her sister's blood stained hair. Her lip trembled, hand shook uncontrollably and her body tensed.
Beth's eyes were closed, her dark eyelashes covered her eyelids. Porcelain white skin, faint pink lips open in with a small gap. Her once bleach blonde like hair, was stained with blood. Dark maroon, almost black at the top of her head.
Maggie's fingers traced the side of her little sister's face. A weep fell from her pale lips as she memorized every feature of Beth's face. She wanted to remember, remember the look of a angel, because that was what her sister was. A angel, a beautiful saint who was taken from this cruel world.
She was in a better place now. With their father, the ones they had all lost and loved. She was happy now, she was living more now than she ever was alive.
...
A week had passed, a week. The longest week of what felt like Maggie's life. She was broken, everyone knew it. They walked a thin line around her. They were cautious in what they said or did. Someone had a eye on her at all times. They believed she would be like what they told her Andrea was like when she lost her sister.
Suicidal, that's what they thought. Maggie wouldn't lie, she had thought about it, more than once. She had pictured it, walking into a herd of walkers or taking a gun and putting it in her mouth.
She had no one now, not even Glenn. No matter how hard he tried to comfort her, no matter how hard he tried to be there for her, all it did was push her away. She found herself pushing away from him with every word he spoke to her and every touch. She was like a snail, retreating further and further into her shell.
When they sat by the fire at night, eating whatever they had caught she would stare into the flames. Her lip between her teeth and hands tucked into her pockets. They would give her food and water, begging her to eat and drink. She would take a bite of food and sip of water to get them off her back. They were trying to keep her alive, she knew that. They cared about her and that was what was pushing her away.
She wasn't the only one effected by Beth's death. Daryl had been close to her, they had grown a bond during their time together. He had cared for her when she couldn't and for that she would be internally grateful.
Daryl had handled her death different than she did. The first day he had cried for her, but the next he had grown cold. Avoiding everyone even Carol, the woman he was closes to. He was more quiet than usual, kept away from everyone. Walked in the back of the group and acted out. When he got mad he'd whip stuff around and yell, saying things everyone knew he really didn't mean.
They both had different ways in coping by far. They were both hurt in ways only a few of the others knew. Some of them knowing just to let them be and giving them wanted they wanted. To be alone.
...
When the second week after Beth's death came some of the group had become concerned. Maggie had hid deeper into her shell with each day. Glenn had become forgotten in her mind, just as well as the others. Her father had died and in that same week Beth, but also her; a piece of her had died and she knew she would never get it back.
They stayed in a old house in the woods. It had been long forgotten and still had some things they could use. They planned to stay there for the night, sleep, eat and get as much rest before heading out into the world again. All of their feet had been worn down, shoes tearing at the soles, feet blistered and bloody. Two weeks of consistent walking.
Maggie offered to take the first watch. It been sunset and everyone was sitting down to eat. She held a riffle in her hand and walked around the house from a distance. She watched the colored leaves fall from their branches and the wind blow around the trees. It was peaceful, calm, it was times like this she forgot about everything, the death around her, walking corpses, savage people.
When she had ran into Daryl, he was sitting against a tree his hand in his hair. She expected to get shouted at, but instead he had just stared at her. She was the first real person he had actual eye contact with in weeks. He had been doing the same as her. Forgetting.
Their eyes lingered on each other, reading the emotion on each other's faces. She could see the pain he was hiding, his mask had broke. He could read her just as well.
That's when he finally lashed out, he yelled at her. Tossed his bow to the leaf covered grown. Spitting words at her trying to make her leave. He didn't want her to see him vulnerable like she just had. He had got in her face shouting and throwing his hands in the air. He blamed her for Beth's death. Called her out on everything she had done wrong. He wanted to make her leave, but that's what she didn't do.
Maggie stood there, taking the abuse. Not flinching, or crying. She did nothing, but look at the broken man before her. When he was finally done he turned his back to her and she did something that she never thought she would, she hugged him. Her arms wrapped around his torso and her head lied between his shoulder blades.
Daryl had then let it out. He cried, falling to the ground with her arms still wrapped around him. His sobs were loud and his body was shaking, his breathing became hard and he punched the ground. She didn't say anything, there was nothing to be said.
So when she let out a puff of air and looked out to the sky, a pink, red, orange sky. Her arms still wrapped around Daryl, she let it go. Her eyes glistened with tears, her fingers shook and her body went limb.
It was some time later, the sky had turn to twilight and the cold night air filled the woods. They had finally broken apart and sat side by side. The woods was quiet, the noise was coming from the house where some of the group were still awake.
Maggie was still numb, she knew that. But there was finally something in her that had wanted to feel. She felt better, but she wanted more and that was what she was going to get.
It started out with just a kiss, two people in need of human contact. To feel the emotion that had locked away. She didn't plan to go further, but somehow their kiss turned into biting and scratching. Their clothes on the ground and bodies against each other.
Maggie's back dug into the tree with every thrust. Her nails dragged down his back drawing blood. It wasn't making love, it was fucking. It was feeling.
He wasn't treating her like the others. Like a porcelain doll that would break with just the wrong glance. He was hard and ruff, not caring if she about to break or not. He was treating her like a human being, the first one to do so in a long time.
It had ended just as fast as it started. Their bodies glistened with sweat from the moon in the dark night sky. They didn't speak, just dressed. They had felt for the first time in what felt like forever. It may not of been the way they wanted to feel, but they were finally feeling and they excepted that.
...
It was a month later. Maggie had finally felt like she could breath again. She had slowly came back from her shell. She had finally talked to others and eat without being asked to. She was finally becoming her again.
There were still those moments when she would freeze up and retreat to her safe place. In those moments she would seek him out. They would take off from the group and feel, they would feel in a way that they needed. A way that they could not find on their own yet.
There was something about it, them together; that had filled in the spots still broken. They weren't in love, they weren't taking their time like a couple would. No, they were like animals in heat.
It was wrong they knew that. They knew there would be consequences for their actions. There friendship they once had would never be the same. The relationship she had with Glenn would never be the same.
The group had become fully aware what they were doing. No one had said anything but the looks on their faces, however said it all. Some judged, they saw what they were doing and didn't understand. They had seen it as week and foolish, while others understood. They had know the pain, and how hard it was to get back what you lost.
When Rick had lost Laurie, he ran. He hid in the tombs of the prison, killing walkers and losing his mind. It took him weeks before he had finally fully came back to them. Judith and Carl were to him what Maggie and Daryl were to each other. The thing that kept them going.
Yeah, so maybe it was just sex, but that was what was making them move on. It was the fact of them knowing that they were both going through the same thing, feeling the same emotions. Even if their emotions to it had been in different ways.
...
Five months after it happened, she was finally smiling again. A sincere smile that would make you smile back. It had become easier to finally live again. Sure there still was the constant threat around them, but she was happy.
They were finally in a place they could call home. A actual place where they lived amongst others and didn't jump at every sound.
She was different, there was no way she was ever going to be the old Maggie again. She had tried at first. Starting her relationship with Glenn again. She loved him, still does, but not in the way she once did. They had tried, they really did, but at the end of the day it wasn't the same.
When she slipped off the ring she had worn to symbolize the love they shard for each other; she felt like she had lost a small piece of her, but at the same time gained something also. She would lie if she said she wasn't sad, but it had to happen and she excepted it.
The group still treded lightly around her, not as bad as before though. They never mentioned Beth's name except once. Carl had let it slip when they were enjoying a dinner together one night. Everyone had turned to look at her and she tensed in her seat. The room became silent and she just smiled. Told them she was fine and shrug off the awkwardness. She was slowly moving on and it may if hurt, but it was something she had to face.
She lived in a small two bedroom apartment that she shared with Michonne. The two had grown closer, bonding over similarities they had to each other. Michonne didn't talk about Beth, or bring up anything about the past months unless Maggie had done so first. It was easier to talk to her about it than others. So when she brought it up, which was rare, she didn't feel judged or opinionated.
Daryl had finally moved on, returning to his old self, but there was still was a small part of him that wasn't quite there. The time they spent together became lesser and lesser, to the point where it was no longer happening at all. That had been when they arrived to there safe haven.
They avoided each other, not ever spending more than a few seconds in the same room. It to a level bothered her, she loved him. Not in the lets go get married right now way, but the your my good friend way. There had been times when she missed his touch; missed the way he had fucked her until she forgot her own name. Those were things that helped her escape from the pain around her, things that helped her come back.
It had been a late spring night when he finally talked to her. They were sitting on the rooftop drinking moonshine that some town people had made. They were enjoying being able to be care free for a night. They were drinking, talking and the next minute fucking.
There lips locked against each other, teeth biting lip. Her hand gripped his shoulderis and her nails digging holes in his skin. His hands held her thighs as he thrusted into her. Moans fell from their lips, and sweat dripped from their bodies. They broke apart, catching their breath. They didn't talk, they didn't do anything besides lie on the ground and stare at each other. It was the last time, she knew it, he knew it. It was time to move on.
...
Two years, that's how long it's been. The safe haven they lived in grew, people had found their way to the one of few places they could call safe. Well at least for now.
Maggie had been living, she worked with new people and had finally opened herself up. She went out on dates, well if you could call them dates. She saw a few people, some being great while others not so much.
Her old group had moved on, they were in relationships, having kids. Carl had his first girlfriend, Judith was talking in full sentences, Glenn had found someone who loved him like he deserved, Sasha had found someone, like her brother had. Rick, Michonne, Carol, even Daryl had found someone.
There was a part of her that felt like she was still staying in the past. Not alowing herself to find the happiness she wanted. Beth would pop into her memory everyday and she would feel the memory pulling her back, trying to keep her there, not letting her go. She was happy and was trying to move on, but she was still holding herself back and she hated it. It was a weight on her shoulders she longed to disappear.
...
Eight years, that's how long it took. Eight years before Maggie could say she was really happy.
Somewhere along the way she had lost who she was, sunk down low again and lost who she was. It happened fast and was over faster than the first. It was like a relapse, she had wallowed to much on the past that it effected her future. She never thought losing her sister would do this much damage to her, and she ended up finding out it didn't.
Therapy, the thought if it made her laugh in the world before now. She never thought it worked, until the day she had really tried it. A therapist lived in the safe haven and started to take people as patients. She had been skeptical at first, but now was thankful she had done it.
Now she had a real life, she was living and not wallowing on her past. She was looking at her future.
She wasn't married, she didn't want to be. That was something she learned about herself, she didn't want marriage. It was a good thing too because neither did he. It was a surprise to her when she first saw it. They had been talking, not about anything important ether. It was just normal everyday talk, when she realized she felt something more than friendship. She was hesitant to act on it, not sure how he would feel. It ended up he felt it too.
They loved each other, she wouldn't say it was the type of love you'd see in the fairy tails, but it was love. It wasn't expected and some people were surprised. They weren't perfect, In fact they argued more than they should. They would fight like cats and dogs at times, then of course have the best makeup sex ever.
They were together four years when they became forever part of each others lives whether they liked it or not. A small baby girl had bind them together. She had blue eyes and dark hair, porcelain skin and long eyelashes. They named her Annabeth, at first she had been skeptical of the name; scared it would trigger to many memories, but she was wrong. It had been one of the best decision she ever made.
She had finally moved on.
Reviews are appreciated, took me hours to write and will take you seconds to review.
