No this is not sunshine and flowers story but it is NOT a death fic but it is pretty damn close. This will NOT be a happy one and involves a lot of pain for our favorite female agent. This was an idea that literally came to me in the dead of night and I knew I just had to write it.

This will be darker than Distress and Solitude so be warned, but I hope that you enjoy it and stick with me until the end.

Enjoy, I still do not own LA…. Sad I know.

An op gone wrong leads the team to believie that Deeks is dead; as the months pass Kensi falls deeper and deeper into depression causing her to lose her last connection to Deeks. But a trip to the hospital leads to a discovery that just may vitalize the Alpha team.

There Is No Light In This Darkness

An Explosion

Chapter 1

Kensi's P.O.V

An explosion…that was all that I saw before the heat seared my face. I felt everything within me stop; this… this could not be it. Looking up I see the flames curl around the building, I could hear the fire trucks sounds in the distance, and somewhere amongst all of it I could hear myself screaming.

"NO! Deeks!" I got up to run towards the destroyed building but a pair of unnamed arms held me back. "Let me go! Deeks!" Then I felt… cold… numb. My knees give out and I land painfully on the pavement, tears streaming down my face.

"No…" I whisper. "Please god no. Marty." Then everything goes black.

Callen's P.O.V

An explosion… I felt the ground shake with the force of it. I felt my heart stop as I looked over to Kensi. Tears were already falling and her body shaking. Then she started screaming, no words… just screaming. But when the words started, I wished she had just kept screaming.

Sam wrapped his arms around her waist and held her back as she moved to run towards the explosion… and explosion that desecrated the block, I knew deep down that no one could have survived.

"No," she whispers. "Please god no. Marty." That is the first time I hear his first name pass her lips, that is when I knew…

Sam's P.O.V

An explosion… I had seen many of them in my years as a Navy Seal then as a Federal Agent. But this one… this one stopped my heart, caused me to freeze. Looking to her I see the disbelief… the horror. Then screams began. In my many years I have also heard screams… screams of pain, but this, this noise that comes from Kensi, it is not just lost, it's pain, heartache… despair. Then she starts screaming his name…

I see her intentions even before she knows what she is doing; I move and wrap my arms around her. Now I don't just hear her screams I feel them, I feel them in the way her chest heaves, in the way her heart is beating so fast that I can feel it through her back, I can feel the waves of despair radiating off of her. Then I feel her knees give out and she slips from my arms, leaving the burning building in my line of sights, the flames curling around the roof, the cracking of collapsing wood support beams.

"Marty." Is the last thing she utters before fainting, I barely catch her head from hitting the pavement. I look down at her, and the tears streaks become visible against her skin, even unconscious her face is contorted and wrought with invisible pain.

Nell's P.O.V

An explosion… it radiates off of the screen in OPS, the sound permeates through the speakers, then I hear it. Kensi's screams, so sudden and so full of emotion I jump and gasp. Everyone in Ops, from Eric to the techs, tense, we know who was in that building, we know what those screams mean.

I see them on the screen, I see her fall to the ground and hear her whisper his name, "Marty." I turn my back to the image and lean over the center table. No one speaks, OPS is silent as everyone looks at the burning building, not knowing the implications that this would have on OSP.

But I did know this; nothing was going to be the same again, this team would never be the same, Kensi would never be the same.

Eric's P.O.V

An explosion… a single event that changed everything in an instant, I could almost feel the ground shaking as the explosion ripped apart the building, ripped apart the female agent. Her screams sent chills down my spine and forced me to sit down sending my chair rolling back before coming in contact with a desk. Then, everything went silent save for the cries and sobs of Kensi.

I want nothing more than to tear my eyes from the screen, from the flames but nothing I tell myself gets me to tear my eyes from the scene unfolding.

"Marty." Is the last thing she utters before I see her faint on the big screen in OPS, Sam barely able to stop her head from bouncing on the pavement. Looking around I know instantly that everyone knew… everyone knew that OSP was going to be oddly silent for the first time in five years.

Hetty's P.O.V

An explosion… I see it from the privacy of my office but that doesn't make it any less heart stopping. I slowly lower my tea cup suddenly losing all taste for the soothing liquid. But when the screams start my hand involuntarily shoots to cover a gasp; never in my many years on the job had I heard such a sound, certainly not from Kensi.

I wish that my eyes were deceiving me in my old age but I know that that is not the case, that this was the grim reality, that this place was going to seem empty, OSP was going to be awfully silent and without the loved banter. No more discreet touches and glances, no more.

Nurse Amy's P.O.V

Hours earlier

I ran along the gurney supporting a badly beaten shaggy John Doe. Police had found him in an alley with no ID and a bloody pipe next to him. He had a gunshot wound to the torso and sever head wounds, whoever this man was, he was going to have a serious fight ahead of him. I was lost amongst the throngs of other nurses and doctors trying to save the man.

After what seemed a lifetime the shaggy man was settled in a hospital room, but he had slipped into a coma. "Nurse, take his clothes to the storage room please." I nod and walk through the hospital to a nearly forgotten room, used for those who have no one to collect their things.

While I try to pry open a locker the cloths fall from my arms. I quickly move to retrieve them when something floats down to the floor. I place the cloths in the locker and bend down to put away whatever fell.

But when I see the photo I can't help but admire the people in it; the shaggy man with his arms around a beautiful woman with unique two toned eyes. The man was standing behind the woman with his arms wrapped protectively around her waist with a thousand watt smile on his face. The woman was leaning her head into his, her eyes bright with love and happiness.

I felt my heart break for this couple, but mostly for the woman, she must think that the love of her life is dead, with no body, or worse perhaps she thinks he walked out one her. Without thinking I tuck the photo in my scrubs, and close the locker and head back out for my rounds.

My heart was heavy with sadness as a fresh wave of burn victims was brought in from an explosion downtown.

Third Person

On the other side of the hospital a brunette is laying on a hard bed coming around to an empty room. She hears chaos outside her door but can't bring herself to care at all, why would she care when she has just lost everything; the love of her life, her other half, her partner…her secret boyfriend.

A sob violently takes her over as she cries, when that doesn't become a sufficient enough way for her body to let out the grief she screams. A tall bald head man and a steel blue eyed man rush inside and try to comfort the woman but she violently pushes them away and moves to the corner of her room where she curls into herself a cries and cries until she drifts to sleep, the two men standing over her sending every nurse that walks in away with a glare.

Leave a review if you desire

-A. Grayson