Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine.

A/N: This is nothing like my other stories; sorry if you don't like it. It's just a funny one that I've had rattling around in my head the past couple of days. Possibly shounen-ai (like I'm going to tell you the ending) and definatly not to be taken seriously. It's only going to be a couple of chapters (as far as I can tell right now), but actually, this is my only fic thus far that willhave a continuous-story chapter. Wow...Yay me. Dedicated to all of the people who have me on Author Alert, because I feel kind of bad for this being so...different from my usual sort...At least I'm pretty sure that Nissie will like it...


"Maa, it's true!"

Kurenai crossed her arms and glared skeptically at the silver-haired Jounin. She, Asuma, Gai, Iruka, and Kakashi had met almost accidentally at the Ichiraku, just like they had each Saturday since being assigned their genin teams five years ago. The addition of Iruka was more recent, but definitely not a surprise. He and Kakashi seemed to have bonded over their concern for Uzumaki Naruto. Though she rather liked the kid—who was, incidentally the topic of their current discussion—Kurenai could never figure out what it was that drew people to him.

"You're telling me that the most chased after boy in Konoha is…what? In love with Naruto? I just don't buy it, Kakashi."

"Yeah, with that attitude, there is no way that Uchiha is gay." Asuma chimed in, grinning wryly.

"Are you saying that I don't know my own team?" Kakashi quirked an eyebrow at his comrades. "How insulting! Maa, you believe me, don't you Iruka?"

The brown-haired chuunin looked slightly uncomfortable.

"Kakashi-san, it's not that I doubt your observational skills, but I think that if Sasuke were gay, I'd know."

Instead of looking insulted as he had claimed, the silver-haired leader of team 7 looked more and more cheerful as his friends refuted his claim. At that moment, Gai returned from the bathroom.

"What have I missed, my comrades!" By this point, no one even flinched at Gai's ever-exuberant tone.

"Kakashi's trying to convince us that Sasuke is gay." The disbelief in Kurenai's voice was obvious.

At that, Gai looked a bit flabbergasted.

"W-why would you say that, my eternal rival!"

Kakashi sighed. "Little things, the way he looks at Naruto, the fact that he's never dated, even though so many girls chase him…" Again, he noted the disbelief etched in the faces of his friends. "Hey, if you don't believe me…what's say we make a little wager?"

Now it was Kurenai's turn to raise an eyebrow. Kakashi was actually suggesting a 'contest' to Gai? Now there was a switch.

As if reading her thoughts, Kakashi explained. "I don't like that you guys don't think that I know my team. Kurenai, you were the one who was telling us all about Kiba's 'cute little crush' on Hinata earlier. Do you think that you're more observant than I am?"

"Well, no…but…" Trapped, the kunoichi looked at Asuma and Iruka for help. Both men shrugged helplessly.

"Alright! This will be a bet between us, Konohagakure's eternal rivals!" Gai did his nice-guy pose, but Kakashi was already shaking his head.

"How about we let everyone get in on it this time, Gai? They're the ones who don't believe me."

Finally, with some hesitation, Asuma and Kurenai joined in on the bet. The stakes? A full dinner, for all of the teams, paid for by the losers. Of course, this meant that if Kakashi was wrong, he'd have to pay for the entire thing by himself, but, he decided, that was the only way to make it risky enough that the others would definitely join in. If there wasn't a good chance of him having to pay a lot of money, then there was no way that they'd have made the bet with him.

Iruka refused to join in, pleading that the stakes were too high for his Chuunin salary. He couldn't afford something that extravagant, the brown-haired man pouted.

Finally, it was all set, and the five ninja went their separate ways for the night. Well, sort of. Asuma and Kakashi offered to walk Kurenai and Iruka, respectively, home, and Gai decided that he had to run five hundred laps around the town before going to sleep. Either way, none of the others noticed the sly chuckles of the Jounin and Chuunin as they strolled back to the younger man's apartment.


Earlier that day…


"I'm telling you, Ino-pig, we weren't on a date! Naruto's not even interested in me anymore!" Irritated, the pink-haired kunoichi stomped her foot on the floor of her friend's flower shop.

"Yeah, yeah, Sakura-big-forehead. I saw what I saw, and that was you and Uzumaki Naruto on a date. That means that Sasuke-kun is mine for the taking!" The wicked grin on Ino's face looked almost painful, it was so big. Sakura grunted in frustration. There was only one way out of this that she could see, and she wasn't sure if she could pull it off. Wait-a-minute! Who was she kidding, she was Sakura, apprentice to Tsunande, greatest Kunoichi in her village! Of course she could do it!

"No, really! Naruto's not into me anymore! Actually…" Sakura bit her lip, letting the sudden silence draw Ino's natural nosiness out.

"What?" There! Inner-Sakura let out a whoop of satisfaction.

"He was asking me advice about how to get who he really likes." Hook.

"Feh, asking advice from you?"

"Yeah! I'm great at that sort of thing!" Line.

"Yeah, right, whatever. You've never even had a boyfriend."

"But I've had more guys after me than you have, Ino-pig."

The blonde girl waved that comment away, probably because she couldn't dispute its truth.

"…So…who does he like, then?" Sinker!

By this point, Inner-Sakura was cackling with glee. Oh boy, was she going to love this.

"Sasuke."

The way Ino's eyes bulged and mouth hung open was worth every moment of teasing Sakura had ever received from her over-confident friend. At that moment, the girls were joined in the empty shop by the rest of Ino's team, Shikamaru and Chouji.

Warily, noting Ino's expression of shock and figuring that no good would come of it, the boys stepped closer.

"Oi…what'd you do to Ino, Sakura?" Chouji was the one who voiced the question in between handfuls of chips.

"I told her that Naruto's gay."

To say that their reactions were worth it would have been greatly underestimating the joy Inner-Sakura felt at seeing Chouji begin choking on his chips and Shikamaru suddenly very still face. Quickly, the shadow-user pounded his friend on the back.

"Did he actually say Sasuke-kun's name, Sakura-chan!" Ino had broken out of her stupor to ask this very obvious question. The boy's eyes swung back to the gloating kunoichi.

"Hah! No, of course, not! But I could definitely tell who he was talking about…Dark hair, pale, a blood-limit. It was obvious!"

At that, Shikamaru narrowed his eyes. "But…that also describes Hinata-chan. And you must have noticed her crush on him. He probably finally got a clue or something."

But Sakura was already shaking her head. "I know my teammates! I mean, Ino told me all about your crush on Temari-san. Though, I have to say, that was pretty obvious to everyone." At the dark-haired boy's look of horror, she continued in a kinder voice, "hey, she likes you, too."

Chouji, seeing how flustered his friend was getting, brought them back to the topic at hand. "But really, how do you know that it's Sasuke that Naruto likes and not Hinata? He has been spending a lot more time with her than he used to…"

Suddenly, the large boy felt murderous eyes pinning him where he was. His hand paused in the middle of bringing a chip to his mouth.

"Are you saying that I don't know my own teammate! Fine, then, let's make it a bet! I'll prove that it's Sasuke that Naruto likes, and when I do, you guys…each have to teach me a new jutsu! One of yours that I get to pick!" Before the others could protest, the fiery girl continued, "if I'm wrong, and it's Hinata—or heck, Neji, Hanabi, or whoever—that he likes, then…Ino, I'll work in the shop for you for a month, and I'll give you guys some of the best healing herbs available! How's that!"

Still as wary as when they'd walked into the shop; the boys looked at each other, then at Ino. She frowned in thought. Naruto was one of the straightest boys she'd ever met; heck, she'd believe that there was something going on between Shikamaru and Chouji before she'd believe that he was secretly in love with his rival. Though the two had gotten closer over the years—once Sasuke had been brought back from Orochimaru's—they still argued and fought constantly. She'd heard more than one story from Sakura about how one had put the other in the hospital again.

"Fine. You have a week from tonight, Sakura-big-forehead." The blonde kunoichi smirked. "And you'd better hope that you win, because when you're in this shop, I'm the boss."

Neither of her teammates said anything about that last bit. After all, they did want to live to see the end of this bet.

Satisfied, the pink-haired kunoichi nodded confidently and exited the shop. Only when she was out of sight did she let her glee pour out, with almost insane-sounding cackles. Oh boy, this was going to be fun!