The initial shock was unbearable. Where am I? Why am I here? What is this place? The slow process of fully understanding where I had become to be was even worse. The realization of my damnation in Hell was painful. It was hideously different than anything I had ever known. I had only experienced Heaven. My entire existence was inside the domain that was paradise. Gold, light, joy, and our loving father God permeated every aspect of my life and understanding of it. It was a Utopia, until it wasn't. I recall the point at which Lucifer started to distort my love for Heaven. With charisma dripping off his voice, he softly suggested, "There's more. Just think we are below God. He is higher. He is better. If this is Heaven why are we not all equal? Think about what we, the archangels subject to God, are missing out on." This single thought began to corrode my love for Heaven. A feeling of entitlement began to seep into me. The praise I traditionally expressed to God now seemed wrong. Why did God deserve my praise? Why aren't we all equal? Lucifer had planted the seed of greed into my heart and it had not only blossomed, but grew to enormous proportions. Recalling the memory of being seduced into Lucifer's cult is painful, especially realizing how petty and insignificant my complaints were. The irrationality that I thought with still astounds me, but once greed took a hold of my heart, my mind became a broken record player repeating "more, more, more," without end.
Once we were in Hell, Lucifer tried to rationalize why we lost the war. He claimed he intended to end up here, in damnation. He carried on how the gates of Hell welcomed and declared his glory and kingship of the underworld. I could see the denial in his eyes. None of us had known this place existed and none of us had known of God's power. God had been nothing but loving, gentle, and merciful until the war. And even when God defeated us, I could see he did not want to imprison us down here, he still loved us, but he had no choice. Lucifer's attempts to make a "heaven of Hell" had no affect on the rest of the fallen archangels. Hell is dark, fiery, cold, and culminates to absolute misery. The exact juxtaposition of where we once lived. Lucifer proclaimed himself: Satan the God of Hell. He not only tried to up sale Hell, but he tried to have us embrace evil. He wanted evil to become our identity and all we stand for. Lucifer zealously preached, "The war must continue; we will light an evil spark in the universe and fan the flames of malevolence keeping it alive, and with time we will be a part of the fiery destruction that will destroy God and his precious creation."
All the fallen archangels were recruited to continue the war against God. I tried to resist for a long time, but Satan had claimed the crown of Hell, making the rest of us his subjects. With his claimed authority, he forced all of us to be agents of evil. Some adopted evil but, not all of us really supported it. By this time, the Earth had been masterfully crafted by God's spoken word. Many of the fallen archangels, including me, pleaded with Lucifer to leave the Earth alone and allow mankind to live in peace. We all knew if humanity was introduced to evil and sin the war between Heaven and Hell would escalate. Lucifer ignored all our pleas. He claimed victory when he introduced sin to the world, using Eve as his vessel. The fallen archangels and I were no longer army reserves, but now active soldiers fighting for evil on Earth.
I receive a message, beckoning me to Satan's throne. This can mean only one thing: I have an assignment. When I arrive, Satan looks particularly satisfied with himself. He booms, "You are going to Earth. It seems as if evil has been in decline there ever since God or Jesus, or whoever he was, died and was resurrected. A following has emerged of people who strive to promote peace and do good. I won't allow it. We must stamp it out." I shudder. I hate carrying out Satan's work. He continues on, "You are going to unleash death, more death than humanity has ever seen. They will begin to question their God, ask for his protection, but none will come. We will show no mercy." He hands me a vial. It was brimming to the top with a black sludge. "It is from the very depths of Hell", whispered Satan, "I call it Black Death." Satan's schemes are becoming more ambitious. He is thirsty for victory over God, but most of us don't even know what victory looks like for Satan. We had never released such a pandemic on Earth before. Why did he have to pick me for the job? With his last instructions Satan said, "You can start it anywhere, any way you wish, but I want millions dead and those lucky enough to live to have no trust in their God."
Terrified of Satan's wrath, I immediately fly to Earth with vial of death in my hand. I had not seen Earth in quite some time. It had been ages since my last assignment, before Christ even. Much had changed. Civilizations had advanced with huge cities and kingdoms formed. Earth really is a beautiful place, with a beautiful people. Regret fills my heart thinking how I could have been a protector of this place if I had only been content with my perfect life in Heaven. Instead I was seduced by Satan and now an enemy of this world. I fly around for while, discovering the year is 1340. After circling the globe a couple times, I determine the largest Christian population is in Europe. Satan wants me to specifically target these people, to destroy their faith. I need to release this vial of death somewhere, so I fly into Rome. The sun is shining down on the city; it's summer in here. Markets fill the streets with lively people trading their goods. I explore the city, anxious to complete this horrible task. I find a neighborhood full of loving, Christian families. If there is ever a place to do it, it is going to be here. But why does it have to be me? Sickness fills my heart, with the knowledge of what I am about to do. I enter a household with a family of six preparing dinner. A pot of bubbling stew hangs over the fire. While hovering over the pot, I uncork the vial of death. Why? Why did I choose this life? I can't watch. I close my eyes and feel the black sludge drooping out of the vial. When I feel the last drop roll out of the vial, I open my eyes and peer down into the pot. The Black Death had dissolved into the stew. How did I do it? How am I going to be able to live with myself? I rush out of there, zooming all the way back to Hell, where I belong. It's only a matter of time now before the disease spreads and millions die.
Much time had passed since I committed that atrocious deed. I have been in denial ever since, unable to accept that I would destroy so much life to advance evil. A messenger summons me to Satan's throne. When I arrive, Satan is sitting there looking proud. He fondly shares, "Your assignment was a complete success. The world is paralyzed due to the overwhelming shock of death in their world. The Black Death you unleashed killed over 400 million people. Mankind is questioning their God, wrestling with the fact that their loving God would allow such destruction. Well done." I go numb. I am incapable of comprehending what I've done on Earth. I am no longer just a fallen angel, but have devolved into a demon doing Satan's work. I must come to term what I've done with and who I am in order to live with myself for the rest of eternity. With the millions dead due to my hand, I am forced to embrace evil. I accept my position as a demon in the universe. I will promote evil. I will be a part of what destroys God. Besides, he deserves it. God is the one who put me down here. God is the reason I am in Hell. If it was not for him, I would not have had to kill all those people. I accept my mission to wage war against God. I accept Satan as king. I am evil and a soldier of Satan fighting against God in this unholy war. I head to Satan's throne once again, eager for my next task.
