What I Did Not Say
They were falling, sliding, and falling again. She reached out blindly, fingers scraping the cloth of the airship. She couldn't see, couldn't know if they were going to keep falling until no more. The hand around her wrist had a death grip on her, the pulse pounding viciously. A small amount of hope pushed through the terror. He wouldn't let go. No matter if they were five feet or five hundred feet up, he wouldn't let go of her. Was she screaming? She couldn't think straight enough to know. The roaring in her ears was too loud.
Her arm jerked, nearly dislocating her shoulder. The small amount of air she had managed to draw in came out hard and her own fingers clung to him. They had stopped but she was hanging. By a thread? She hoped to the Spirits not. He was hurt; she could hear his pained cries echoing around them. His hand slipped slightly, or was it hers? Either way, she tried to tighten her grip. All she could see was him, all she could feel was him.
"Hang on, Toph!" Like she had a choice in the matter? The humor was lost at the pain and fear in his voice.
"Aye aye, captain," she responded, fitfully surprised that her voice had only wavered a little. Her fingers dug into his wrist hard enough to bruise. She could hear footsteps echoing on either side of them and the horrible creaking and clanking of armor. Helpless, that's what she was now. Dangling from the airship, blind, and out of any ammo she could feel. The way her parents had made her seem to the outside world. Just a poor blind girl who couldn't do anything. She wasn't poor but the rest of that was fitting now.
There was a crash and then another. Sokka was grunting. Was he still fighting? Spirits, she was so useless. All she could do was hang and hold on. Her hand was sweating and she could feel herself slipping. She struggled, hoping to dig in just a bit deeper. Both of their hands were slipping. Panic threatened to shake her lose from his grip. She slipped down a little lower, fingers curling around his own as his hand shifted. Sword gone, boomerang gone, oh Spirits, they were going to die. Thoughts flickered in her head, the images dark and mere silhouettes. I never said it. I never said it. Suki was there, always there.
"I don't think boomerang is coming back, Toph. It looks like this is the end." Was that regret in his voice or was she just hoping it was there? Here they were, about to either be burnt to a crisp or plummet to their death and she was hoping for something, something, to let her say what she wanted.
You're not a coward, Toph, she told herself. You are the best earthbender in the world! The first metalbender in the history of mankind! This could be your last chance. Are you going to die without telling him what for? Rogue tears began falling and, if they made it out of this by some miracle, she would deny them. Her mouth opened, to comfort, to admit, to soothe, to cry.
He gasped and she could hear the air whistling. Her body jerked as something crashed into the airship. Metal screeched and twisted, the horrendous noise masking the rest of the world. Sokka's grip slipped and she fell, letting out a short cry. Her bare feet hit something hard and she clung tightly to the solid mass underneath her. A loud thud echoed as the metal vibrated, Sokka hissing and snarling with pain. An arm shot out, hand brushing him, making sure he was real. The airship under them jerked and she barely made it to her feet, toes digging into the metal. They weren't dead. The fear and adrenaline pounding in her was convincing enough.
"How did that happen? Did boomerang come back?" She wasn't entirely sure if she expected him to answer. Or how boomerang had managed to steer an entire airship into another. She was shaking all over, thoughts as incoherent as the images being fed through her feet. There was another pulse, far away.
"No," she heard, the sound little more than a gasp. "Suki did!" A variety of emotions jumbled up. Surprise, anger, relief, depression. She was still shaking, not knowing which she was supposed to express. Should she say something? Should she keep quiet?
She could feel him hobbling towards their savior and her mouth opened briefly, hoping to say something, anything, before he was out of earshot. Her hand reached out to take his sleeve and then fell limply at her side. A dozen phrases ran through her mind and she desperately wanted to say one of them. Her shoulders fell. Nearly inaudible, she whispered something to placate the sadness in her heart. "Thank you."
