Ever since Jesse became alive again, things have been so much easier. Especially now that he's a mediator. I mean, my friends and family can actually see him, plus he can help me with all my ghost problems. Not that he couldn't before, but still. At least he can as a human. And he understands what it's like to be a ghost, so he can relate to what they're feeling. I mean, he'd been a ghost for 150 years. You'd think he'd pretty much gotten the feel of being a ghost memorized by now. In those four years he's been alive, my life has been pure bliss. With the exception of school, of course. Especially being in college now. But Jesse, being in medical school - and being much smarter than me - helps me with my homework and stuff like that.

Being in college has its advantages though. For one, I don't have to live at home, which means I don't have distractions when I'm trying to study, I don't have to be home in time for Andy's dinners, I don't have a kirfew, and me and Jesse get to be alone. Don't get me wrong, I love Andy's cooking - it sure beats McDonald's - but it's nice not having to be exactly on time or else you get your head yelled off. And occasionally, Jesse will take me out to eat at a decent restaurant so I don't have to eat fast food all the time. Tonight was one of those nights.

Jesse called and said he would pick me up at my dorm at seven and to wear something nice, that he was taking me out tonight. He wouldn't tell me where, said it was a surprise. So I dressed in my black spaghetti strap dress that went down to mid-thigh. Sure enough, Jesse was there right at seven o'clock. He got out and came to get me at the door, then opened the car door for me to get in, just like he usually does. Little did I know that tonight would be much different from all those other nights.

Everything was going like it usually does, while I'm not suspecting a thing. After we ordered and got our drinks is when it happened. Just out of the blue. Well, there was slight warning, but not enough for me to figure it out. It caught me totally offguard.

"Querida, we need to talk." Jesse seemed kind of nervous about something.
"Okay, Jesse. About what?" I tried not to pry.
"I need to ask you something..." It looked as if he were sweating.
"Alright. Go for it."

At this he got down on one knee in front of me and pulled out a small box. It was only then that I noticed he'd been fiddling with something inside his pocket.

"Susannah, will you marry me?"

At first I was speechless. I didn't know what to say. I knew what I wanted to say. I wanted to say yes. But I couldn't. I was speechless. Finally, I managed to gasp, "Oh, Jesse! Of course!" The smile that broke across his face at that moment was unforgettable. The moment in and of itself was unforgettable. Well, and why not? I mean, I'm sure every woman remembers exactly how every moment passed when her man proposed to her. I don't see how she couldn't unless she really didn't care. But then I don't see how anyone could not care when the man she loves asks her to marry her. I mean, how could she say no?

Did I mention the ring? OH, the ring! It was simply gorgeous! I figured he must have spent a fortune on it. I didn't ask of course. I figured it would be impolite to ask how much the ring was.

"I'm going to call my mother as soon as I get home to tell her the good news!"
"You won't have to."
"I won't? Why not?"
"She already knows."
"She does? How? Did you tell her you were going to ask me?"
"Well, actually, I was always taught that a man should never ask a woman to marry him until he got her father's permission first. So I went by and talked to them about how I wanted to ask you for your hand in marriage. And they agreed."

For the rest of the dinner, almost all I could do was smile widely and stare into Jesse's eyes.

After dinner, Jesse was driving me back to my dorm when he asked me if I'd rather go to his place and watch a movie, since it was a Friday and I didn't have school the next day. Of course I said yes. So we went. And we put a movie on. Did we watch it? Well, what do you think?

At some point, maybe after an hour or so, I got up and started pulling Jesse up with me. "Querida, where are you taking me?" he asked in a suspicious, yet playful tone. "Oh, you'll see," I said with a grin. So he followed me. All the way to his bedroom. I layed down on his bed and started to pull him towards me. But all he did was stand there, looking down at me, as if trying to decide whether or not to follow my lead.

"No, Susannah. I can't. You know how I feel about saving it until after we're married. I just can't. Not yet."
"But Jeessssseee..." I whined. "We're going to get married anyway, why wait?"
"Because," Jesse responded. "I told you. You know how I feel about this. I just...I just can't. Besides, we will have plenty of time for that once we get married. Then we can do it all we want."
"But Jesse, we can do it all we want now too. I mean, we're getting married anyway. Besides, what if I want kids when we get married, and we won't have a chance just to fool around without me getting pregnant?"
"Susannah, I-"
"Jesse," I interrupted. "Just shut up and get in bed."
"But-"
"No, Jesse."
"Oh, alright, Querida, but just this once. Then we wait until we are married. Agreed?"
"Agreed." I said with a big grin. Little did I know what was to come after that.

Jesse crawled onto the bed on top of me and began kissing me. We were passionately kissing when his hand moved down to my waist. This was nothing new, but I knew it would finally go further than just slipping his hand under my bra and stopping. So I thought. I mean, after all he did agree to it. Sure enough, his hand slowly started making its way to my bra. I had worn my strapless snap-front like I do every time we go out, just in case this happened, and it was happening. Luckily, he knew how to unsnap my bra, so I didn't have to teach him. I never stopped to wonder how he knew though. I would later find out.

After he unsnapped my bra, he took it off and tossed it on the floor. Then, I started unbuttoning his shirt until all the buttons were undone and took his shirt off. Next, he unzipped my dress and slowly pulled it off over my head. He tossed it on the floor also and continued kissing me. As we kissed, I worked my hands slowly down his muscular abs to his pants. I unbuttoned and unzipped them and took them off of him, with a little of his help. Then he slowly worked his hands down my stomach and began pulling my thong off. I pulled my legs up for him so he wouldn't have to stop kissing me again. I did the same with his silk boxers.

He then lifted me up and pressed me up against the wall. He began moving his lips down to my neck and all I could do was just to let him take over my body. I held him close and began rubbing his back, mostly for something to do with my hands. Then he layed back on the bed and pulled me on top of him, so I just layed on him and kissed him. We rolled over to where he was on top of me and I began gently massaging his abs as he began doing the same to my breasts.

Then his hands slowly began making their way down, caressing my body as he went. He put his left hand on the bed beside me and inserted two fingers of his right hand inside my private area and began pushing and massaging in an indescribable pleasure, all the while still just as passionately kissing me. The pleasure was just so great it seemed as if the only way to handle it was to hold tight onto his body and to keep kissing, harder and harder until I couldn't possibly be kissing him any harder, yet I was. I was kissing him harder, even when it didn't seem possible.

All of a sudden, he broke the kiss.

I started panicking. What was I supposed to do? The only way for me to handle this great pleasure was to keep kissing harder, and he breaks it? What do I do now? I did the only thing I could. I was already breathing really hard from when he broke the kiss, so I started moaning. And it's not like I could actually help it. The moans just sort of started coming out. It was like, my mind was no longer in control. My body did what it wanted.

While all of this was happening, I hadn't really noticed, but he had made his way down, kissing every part of my body all the way down to where his fingers were, and replaced his fingers - with his tongue. I didn't think it was possible, either, to feel pleasure better than what it was before his tongue was where his fingers were, but his tongue felt so much better than his fingers. I guess you could say it's kind of like, would you rather make out with his fingers or his tongue? Of course you would say his tongue. It's the same way with this. His tongue just feels so much better. Of course, not only did I not have his tongue in my mouth - it was somewhere much more pleasurable - I no longer had his body to hold onto. I began panicking again. This pleasure is greater than the last, but I have nothing to keep my mouth occupied and nothing to hold on to? When I couldn't think I could handle the last pleasure, how am I supposed to handle this one? So, once again, I did the only thing I could. My breathing got heavier, the moaning got louder, and I held on to the sheets for my life. Only, my life wasn't really at stake. But then, what was? What would happen if I really couldn't handle the pleasure? I didn't want to know.

As he kept pushing harder with his tongue, my body started moving. I couldn't control it. It was like I was having these weird spasms, only in slow motion or something. I guess Jesse noticed, because his hands moved up and grabbed my waist to steady me. It didn't help much, but it didn't matter. Nothing really mattered except that I was finally having sex with Jesse - my dream since I first moved to California - and that I didn't want it to end. I never wanted it to end.

Instead of holding on to the bed sheets, I thought maybe I could hold onto his hands that were around my waist, so I moved them. Maybe I was squeezing too hard, because then Jesse took those away too. Why does he keep taking everything away? Then he started slowly moving his hands up the sides of my body starting from the top of my thighs, maybe to help calm me down? Maybe he has a better idea of what to do to help calm me down?

I'm not sure if it was the thought that he knows what to do to calm me down, or if it really was hands slowly moving up my body that was calming me down. I wasn't panicking anymore. Then I noticed he had brought his head up, and maybe that was why I had calmed down. Maybe he somehow knew I was panicking, because then he brought his lips back to mine, and we began kissing again, softer this time. We kissed until I had fully calmed down to my regular self. Then Jesse broke the kiss again and whispered softly in my ear with a grin on his face, "Your turn."

This part has yet to be written. Delay due to other site where prohibited. Will continue later.

One morning, about two weeks later, I woke up after spending the night at Jesse's - and no, we have not done it since the night he proposed - and something was wrong. I didn't know exactly what is was, but I didn't feel good at all. Suddenly, something started coming up. I rushed to the bathroom and started vomiting. What was wrong with me? Why was I throwing up?

When it finally subsided, I went to find Jesse to tell him, but I couldn't find him anywhere. I started panicking. Did he leave me? Did he decide I wasn't good enough in bed and he didn't want to marry me anymore? Why would he just leave like that? Then I saw it. The note. It was sitting in plain view on the counter. "Going to get coffee and doughnuts, and hot chocolate for you because I know you don't like coffee. :-) Love, Jesse." So that's where he went. He didn't leave me. Jesse wouldn't do that.

Then it came again. I ran to the bathroom and began vomiting. Again. Why did I keep throwing up? I hadn't eaten anything. I hadn't been doing a lot of exercise. Was I sick? Did I have a virus? That must be it. I have a virus. Better tell Jesse so he doesn't get it too.

Just then someone knocked on the door. My vomiting had subsided, so I put on some clothes and went to answer it.

"Oh, God. What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you."
"Paul, now is not a good time. How did you know I was here anyway?"
"I went to your dorm and asked Mel where you were. She told me how to get here."
"So you just come to Jesse's apartment, where you have no business being, just to see me? Paul, I thought we sorted this out in high school. You can't obsess over me anymore-"

Paul broke me off by advancing on me and trying to kiss me.

"Stop! I'm sick! I don't want to get you sick."
"You don't sound sick."
"It's a virus. I woke up vomiting this morning."
"Vomiting?"
"Yeah. And I couldn't stop. I hadn't eaten anything or anything, so I figured it must be a virus."
"Suze, can I ask you something?"
"What?"
"What have you and Jesse been doing lately?"
"That is none of your business Paul Slater, putting your nose where it doesn't belong! What Jesse and I have been doing is between Jesse and me, so stay out of it!"
"So I take it you've been getting a little busy then?"
"So what if we have?"
"If you have, then that might not be a virus you have there."
"What do you mean?"
"Suze, you could be pregnant."
"Pregnant? Me? Paul that's bull. I can't be pregnant."
"Well, let me ask you this. Have you been using protection?"
"Of course we ha- wait...Now that I think of it, I can't remember if we have or not."
"Yep, you could most definitely be pregnant."
"I don't believe you. I don't think I'm pregnant. I can't be pregnant. That wouldn't go too well with Jesse."
"No, it wouldn't, would it?" Paul said with a grin.
"Don't even think about it! I'll tell him myself. Paul, please don't tell him. I'm begging you."
"So you believe me now?"
"Of course not! I'll even go to the store to get the pregnancy tester to prove it."
"Alright."

So Paul took me to the store and gave me some money to pay for the pregnancy tester. We went back to Jesse's apartment and Jesse still wasn't back yet. There was a message on the answering machine though. It said, "Good morning, Susannah. You must still be asleep. But in case you are awake and wondering why I'm taking so long, there was a wreck on the way to the doughnut shop and traffic is literally not moving at all. Sorry about the delay of breakfast. Bye querida."

"Aw, isn't that sweet? Jesse leaving you sweet messages, thinking you're still asleep. Little does he know that you're pregnant." Paul teased with a grin on his face.
"Shut up. And I told you, I'm not pregnant. Here, I'll prove it." And I went into the bathroom with the pregnancy test. I did everything exactly as it told me to. It showed positive. No. I can't be pregnant. No. All of a sudden I started crying. I couldn't stop it. I just started crying. Now, you have to understand, I don't cry. It just doesn't happen. Okay, so it's happened a few times, but mostly, I don't cry. Then Paul started knocking on the door.

"Suze? Are you okay? What did the pregnancy tester say? Suze?"
"Go away! I don't want to see you!"
"So it was positive?"
"Go away!"
"Come on Suze, don't be like that. Just tell me what it says."

Then I opened the door and yelled at him, "Yes, it's positive! There! Are you happy now?" and I started crying again. Paul came and hugged me, so I hugged him back. Just then, Jesse walked in with doughnuts, coffe, and hot chocolate. His rage was undeniable. He was angrier than I have ever seen him.

"Paul Slater," he said through gritted teeth.
"Jesse, it's not what it looks like!" I tried to explain. Paul had other intentions.
"That's right, Jesse. Your querida just found out she's pregnant and came to me for comfort because you weren't here-"
"Shut up, Slater," Jesse broke him off.
"Oh, come on, Jesse, just admit it, you weren't here-"

Just then, Jesse grabbed Paul roughly by the collar and threw him against the wall. He started punching him, but I couldn't do anything about it. There they were, Paul and Jesse, on Jesse's apartment floor, fighting over me. Just like five years ago.

"Jesse, stop!" I screamed. "Someone could hear this and call the police! Please don't get arrested!" That didn't help much, so I tried something else. "Jesse, Paul's telling the truth! I'm pregnant." That stopped him in mid-punch, and he looked up at me, incredulously. "I didn't want you to find out this way. I told Paul not to tell you, that I would tell you myself, but he didn't listen. I'm so sorry, Jesse." Jesse slowly got up and walked over to me and hugged me. Then he turned around and looked down at Paul.

"You can leave now."
"But-"
"Now!"

Then, with a glare at Jesse, Paul got up and left.

"So it's true?"
"What?"
"You're pregnant?"
"Yes."
"How do you know?" And I showed him the pregnancy tester and told him everything about vomiting, and Paul coming over and telling me I could be pregnant, and going to get a tester and how Paul was right. Jesse was silently listening the whole time. When I was done, he said, "Here. Have some doughnuts before you start throwing up again," and he handed me the box.

"Jesse?"
"Yes?"
"Are you mad?"
"Yes, querida, but not at you. Now eat a doughnut or you'll start throwing up again."

I did as he told me and started on a doughnut.

"How do you know I'll start throwing up again?"
"You forgot I had (three? four?) younger sisters."
"So? Did you live long enough to see them get pregnant?"
"No, but I saw my mother get pregnant (three? four?) times. I know how to handle it."
"True." I agreed.
"So when are you going to tell your parents?"

I almost choked on the doughnut I was eating when he said that. I hadn't really thought about it. How would Mom and Andy take it? Would they be mad? Would they be excited? I'd place my money on mixed emotions.

"Ermm...I hadn't really thought about it. After all, I just found out today. Let's give it some time, shall we?"
"Of course, of course."
"How do you feel about it?"
"How do you feel about it, querida?"
"I don't know. How am I supposed to feel about it?"
"I don't know."

When we were done eating breakfast, even though it was pretty late for breakfast, Jesse looked at the time.

"Oh, no. I'm sorry, Susannah. I have to go to work. I'll be back later and we can talk about this more. Bye," and he kissed my good-bye and went to work.

Since I was pregnant, both Jesse and I decided it would be a good idea if I started living with him so he could take care of me, because I didn't know anything about being pregnant. The only thing was, that meant I had to tell Mom and Andy so they would stop paying for rooming at college. I was still worried about what they would think. And would they even approve of me living with Jesse? Well, it's not like they could do anything about it anyway. I'm over eighteen. They can't control me anymore. They can only influence.

Anyway, I had already started living with Jesse, so I got to see him all the time. He would take me to class every day - when he didn't have to work, anyway - and we would have lunch together and we even slept in the same bed. Hey, don't get the wrong idea. I kept my promise about not until after we're married. Besides, he didn't have any other beds or guest rooms or anything, and being pregnant, I couldn't sleep on the couch. Well, maybe I could have, but I'd much rather sleep with Jesse in a bed. Wouldn't you? That's what I thought. And yes, Jesse offered to sleep on the couch so I could have the bed, but I told him it was okay. It's a queen size bed, so there's room, even when I get big, and you never know when I might need him in the night.

Over the course of the next few days, my morning sickness hadn't been bothering me as much, and after a week or two, it stopped entirely. But by then, something else was bothering me. Jesse had been acting strange lately. Was it because he'd gotten me pregnant on accident and felt bad for it? That sounded like him, feeling bad for something he did on accident. I kept telling him to not worry about it, it was an honest mistake, getting me pregnant, but he said that wasn't what was bothering him. I wondered what it could be. Then, I found out.

Jesse had taken me out to eat at Dan's Bar and Grill for lunch when she showed up. She was an old lady, dead, a ghost. She suddenly popped out of nowhere and apparently scared Jesse half to death because he jumped about a foot in the air.

"Nombre de Dios! How many times must I ask you? Please, leave me alone!" He sounded angry, scared, annoyed, and desperate all at the same time.

"Jesse!" I exclaimed, "Don't be so rude! If someone needs our help moving on, we should help them, not tell them to go away!"

"No, querida, you don't understand-" but he was cut off by the woman.

"So this is the girl, then, whom you call querida? She's the one?"

"Yes, she's the one," Jesse answered quietly, almost shamefully.

"Hmph!" the old woman crossed her arms as she looked me up and down. Her eyes stopped at the ring on my finger. "And that's the ring you bought her? The excuse to make love with her?" Then I understood who the woman was.

"It's not an excuse!" Jesse exclaimed.

"Then why did you do it, Hector? You know I disapprove!"

"I know, I know, but she talked me into it."

At this she turned to me. "So you used your slut talk to lure him into bed with you, did you?" I was shocked. I didn't know what to say.

"Mother!" Jesse exclaimed, a little too loudly. People turned their heads to look. After a few seconds, they realized nothing was going on and turned away. "She is not a slut and she did not use 'slut talk' as you call it. She was just persuasive and I love her." As soon as he said it, he'd realized it and his face started turning red. It was the first time I had ever heard Jesse say he loved me. Or anyone for that matter. The woman also seemed shocked. "That's what the ring means, Mother. It means I love her." This time when he said it, he was confident. He meant it.

With a shocked look on her face, the woman - Jesse's mother - vanished. I turned to Jesse to say something, but I didn't have any idea what I wanted to say. Jesse happened to notice, so he broke the silence - even though it practically never gets silent in a public restaurant - first.

"I'm sorry, querida."

"For what?"

"For everything."

"How long?"

"How long what?"

"Has she been visiting you?"

"Ever since that night. I didn't want to tell you. I didn't want you to feel bad because it was my fault."

"Jesse, don't say that. If I knew she would come back, I wouldn't have asked you to."

"I know. I thought about her when we first started to...you know, but I didn't think she would come back to bother me about it."

"Well, we can't take it back. It's done. And the baby's proof. Or, it will be in nine months anyway..." I said, trying to make light of the whole thing.

"That's true. But how are we going to get her to go back? Since we can't take back what we did, how are we to send her back?"

"I don't know...there's got to be some way..."

"I guess we'll just have to think of something later. Right now we have to either figure out how we're going to tell your parents, or try to find a way to cover it up."

"Well...we could always get married before I get too noticeable."

"If you don't want to tell your parents, then I guess that's what we'll have to do. But we'll have to hurry or they'll wonder why your baby was born in 6 or 7 months instead of 9."

"Well, then, what are we waiting for? Let's get planning!" I said, and, after paying the bill, we went back to his apartment to plan the wedding.

About a month - yes, I know, it's extremely difficult and stressing to plan a wedding in a month - later, I was walking down the aisle with Andy's arm linked with mine. And my real dad decided to show up and he took my other arm. Later, he said he wouldn't have missed it for the world. I think he cried. I also noticed Jesse's mother standing beside Jesse all through the ceremony. And I think at the reception, Jesse's mother and my father really hit it off. Well, and why shouldn't they? I mean, it's not like they could really talk to anyone else besides Jesse, Paul, and me.

It seemed to take forever to get to the end where Jesse was standing, looking hotter than ever in his tux. As nervous as I was, I'm surprised I didn't trip or anything. In fact, everything went great. Except Paul showed up. And we all know what happens when those two are in a room together. Luckily, Jesse didn't notice he was there, which is kind of surprising because he had a chance to scan the crowd and find everyone. I didn't, but for some reason, Paul just stood out from everybody. He also looked hotter than ever, but he still didn't compare with Jesse.

It also seemed to take forever saying the vows and all that. I mean, yeah I know it's important and all...but did it have to take that long? And, well, I guess it's not so bad anyway. I mean, it is my wedding, after all. You know, that day every girl dreams of from the age of twelve. Well, most girl anyway. At that age I was still dreaming of my first kiss.

So after the wedding was the reception, of course. It was held at Mom and Andy's house. I could tell when I got there that Mom had worked extra hard to make the house look perfect. And, well, why shouldn't she? It's her daughter's wedding reception. She had every reason to make it look perfect. And of course, being Andy, we didn't hire a caterer. Instead, Andy made all the food. Needless to say, it was delicious and, of course, cheap.

Brad - oh, did I mention we didn't hire a DJ either? - played the first slow song. Of course, I had to dance with Jesse. Not that that was a bad thing, though. I didn't want anything more than to dance with Jesse. But with everyone watching? I wasn't used to being the center of attention. Luckily, I had taught Jesse to slow dance a few years ago when I was still in high school. Not that it's hard or anything, but you know, being from the 19th century, he didn't even know what it was.

A little later, Brad played the second slow song. This one I danced with Andy. It was a little strange, but he wasn't a bad dancer.

During the third slow song - I think Brad was having fun seeing how many guys I would dance with - I was dancing with Jesse again when Paul popped up.

"Mind if I take this dance?" he asked.

"Slater, what are you do-" Jesse began.

"No, Jesse. It's fine." I interrupted.

"But he's not supp-"

"Don't worry about it." I interrupted him again. "It's fine. Really. It's just this one dance."

He looked reluctant to leave me with Paul, but he did anyway. And I noticed he didn't take his eyes off us once.

"Congratulations," Paul told me.

"Thanks. And thanks for coming. I wasn't sure if you would or not."

"I wouldn't have missed it. Suze," he seemed nervous about something and hesitant to get it out. "Suze, you know, I still love you. And I always will. No matter what happens. You know that, right?"

"Yes, Paul, I know. You've proved that to me already."

"I know, but I just needed to say it. You know? Just to get it out."

"I know. It's okay."

The slow song ended, and to show Paul it was okay, I kissed him. Chill out, it was just on the cheek. A friendly kiss. No meaning to it whatsoever. And he smiled at me. But it wasn't one of those mysterious smiles he usually has. It was a friendly, sweet smile. I'd never seen that on him before.