Did I know? Did I know that by enrolling in the Career Institute I would end up like this? Did I know that I would end up holding my beloved's hand while she took her last breaths? Did I know that I would be responsible of her death?
No, I didn't know.
As I didn't know what her feelings for me were like they were. As I didn't know that underneath my harsh surface there was a soft, sentimental me that could cry his heart out when he saw his little girl lying lifeless on the ground. As I didn't know that the Games weren't ok, that they were barbaric and unfair…
I didn't know I was another piece in their Games.
When I entered the Career Institute I thought it was synonym to be crowned a Victor, I thought walking through that doors meant glory and my father's joy.
I couldn't be more wrong.
I knew her since we were little, my parents and hers were friends. So they often visited us in our house in the Victors Village. My father was a Victor, and I was the oldest brother. I was the role model, the son that would go in the games and win them. Just to follow the tradition. My father was so proud of me. If he only knew what he was doing to me by encouraging me into the games…
But he didn't know, no one knew. All we knew was that when I turned 18 I would volunteer and become the Victor of the 76th annual Hunger Games. So shameful that I wasn't born a year before, so I could volunteer on the Quarter Quell. But things in the Career Institute don't work like that. You don't volunteer until you are 18.
Winning the games was more than an obsession for me. It was everything to me. There wasn't a day I didn't think of becoming a Victor. My training was above my friends, the girls, and my family, above everything. Until she arrived.
In the end I did volunteered, but not at 18. At 16, everybody was confused. I was going against the rules. But Raymond didn't object. It was his turn to volunteer, he was 18 years old, and it was his last chance to win the games. But he was my friend, and he saw why I was volunteering. I looked at him and he nodded. Sadness in his eyes, but not for losing his chance of winning. But because he knew he was losing a friend.
That wasn't supposed to happen; even when her name was read the silence that followed to the call out for volunteers wasn't right. When in the story of District 2 there had been no volunteers at all? When? And why did it have to happen when it was her name the one drew from the bowl? It didn't even make sense; her name was in 5 times, how many times was Cherry's in? 40? 50?
Everybody thought I was volunteering because I was strong, vicious, and ready to go and win. Because I wanted to show everybody that I could win with only 16 years. Everybody thought that I was ready to become District 2's Victor.
And they were not very far away from the truth. I did volunteer to bring a Victor back to District 2. But the Victor I had in mind wasn't me.
I volunteered to bring Clove back home.
