Disclaimer: I don't own Elsword. I am the owner of the feelings in this fanfic
Ephemeral
How long has it been?
How long have I felt this way?
Once again this date, it sends a blade through my heart. I was once weak. I was once bullied. Those children, they would laugh and taunt me, because I was weak. Whenever I fought back, there were too many.
Then again it was because I was different. Red hair. Red eyes. The colour of blood and chaos. My family, I didn't exist to them. Nor will I, because one day I will finally be freed.
At night I would run from my village, from my reality and hope to see the outside world, see what was beyond my knowledge.
Every night I did so, escaping through my bedroom window, and towards the meadow where my place of rest was. A great towering tree, the El tree.
There I would always pray for goodness, I prayed for anything that could take me away, to send me far away where nothing would ever hurt me again.
Then one night, she fell from the heavens. A girl. With lavender hair as soft as silk. A beautiful face.
I didn't know what to think, or to do. There she was, like a goddess that had come down from the heavens.
Every night from then on we talked. Whenever I did, she would send my pain away, all the hurt. Like the angel she was.
Than I came to understand that I loved her, with all my heart I did. I confessed my love for her, she accepted and I never felt more happy in my life.
But…I should have known, that life wouldn't be that kind.
She disappeared. A single note was with the tree.
I was a fool. I was so caught up with my sadness…I never thought to consider hers?
She too, had lived through a life similar to my own.
I dropped the note, letting it flutter away from the wind, hoping that I would never see it again.
That night I cried at the El tree. I didn't care anymore, nor did I want to care about anything again. What was I to do? What could I do?
I was weak.
After her disappearance, as if she had sacrificed herself, my life became instantly better. My family and I moved to a different village, where I started over. I met new friends, and once again fell in love. But I still felt guilty. Here I was, never knowing what happened to the girl I had loved. Was she dead? Was she suffering?
I didn't know what happen at all. Every year, on the same day I would be plagued by memories of her, calling out to me.
But I still moved on. I told my friends about it, and how I blamed myself. They supported me, and remained friends with a fool like myself.
Finally gaining the courage, I left early one morning, and I travelled all the way to my old village. Thankfully no one remembered me. I made my way through the meadow, towards that tree. And there, I left a note.
I didn't know if she would read it. I didn't know if she could. But I had to at least try. And to this day I still regret it. I don't know if my decision was correct, nor did I really think about it. On this day I still cry myself to sleep, thinking and hoping that one day I could meet her again.
I just wanted one more day, one more minute even. Just so I could properly say goodbye, to say I moved on. To finally let go.
So there you have it. Memories. My thoughts.
Even the small amount of time that I had spent with her, I still remember my happiness.
So this is me letting go.
Letting go of my memories that are forever ephemeral.
A/N: If you wondering, yes this is based on an event in my life, and yes these are my true feelings. Yes I still feel guilty. And yes a year has passed, and I hoped to have let this go. For those that knew about this, I thank you for supporting me after all this time. For those that don't, I hoped you liked the story, I know i haven't written anything sad in ages, so it might be a bit...corny? if that's the word. So thank you for reading this and I hope you review. I even expect some flames.
