Author's Note: Those of you familiar with my writing know I always start a story out with the title, characters, rating, etc. The reason I chose not to do so this time is this isn't a story, it is a collection of Alex and Izzie one shots. Most were written ages ago, some going as far back as season two. I will be adding to them periodically. The reason I chose to put my one shots under one title is to make finding and reading them easier. Most are not connected. If ever there is one that is connected to another I will sub-link or make note of that fact at the beginning. I hope you enjoy them! C.

Title: It Was Always You

Author: Darley1101

Rating: PG 13 (slight sexual reference)

Premise: Season Four, Alex and Izzie talk about George, Rebecca, and how they feel about one another.

A sliver of moonlight cut through the cracked blinds of the nearby window. It caught in her short blonde curls, giving them a slight silvery cast. The silver frost expanded onto the creamy skin of her neck and the bit of flesh left exposed by her tank top, which had drooped around her cleavage and ridden up on her abdomen. Her full lips parted slightly, a soft moan escaping.

Tightening his grip on the door frame, Alex told himself it was wrong. He shouldn't be there, watching her sleep. Yet, it felt right, in a sick, twisted way. His hazel gaze couldn't be torn, and when she shifted around, kicking one leg out from under the covers, he sucked in his breath. When she moaned again, he let out a soft groan with her.

"Alex," she mumbled. His body froze. At first he thought maybe, just maybe, she had said his name in her sleep. In the pale moonlight he seen her push herself up on her elbows, one blonde curl falling over her right eye. "Everything okay?"

Gulping, Alex forced himself to nod. In rising, her already drooping top had fallen even further down, exposing more of her breasts. How he longed to slide his hands under that dark colored top, to fill his hands with the large globes of her breasts, to take his fingers and toy with her nipples until they puckered. "Everything is fine," he said hoarsely. "Just couldn't sleep."

"Oh," Izzie yawned, her body falling back onto the mattress. "Hmm. You come sleep here." She patted the empty space next to her, then rolled onto her stomach. One side of her panties had ridden up the soft curve of her ass, taunting him, instilling the need to tuck his fingers under the lacy edge and slide the cotton material back into place, if not off her lithe body entirely. "Come on. Come to bed." Her arm patted the space again.

Say no, his mind ordered. His body was moving toward the bed though. He took a deep breath, told himself he was just going to lay next to her, on his side of the bed, and sleep; just sleep. The air gushed out of his mouth as he gingerly laid back. He stared up at the ceiling. There was nothing interesting up there, unless he counted the start of a cobweb. Still, as long as he focused on the ceiling he wouldn't be focusing on the woman lying next to him. He stifled a groan when she rolled, her body coming up flush against his. One leg snaked up and over his thighs, an arm slapped across his chest. Why hadn't he remembered what a restless sleeper Izzie was?

"Missed this," she mumbled, then yawned, her breath hot on his neck. Tentatively, he wrapped an arm around her waist. She snuggled closer, her breasts rubbing against his chest. He could feel the hard pebbles that were her nipples straining through the thin fabric of her shirt. "Missed you to."

He tightened his hold on her. He had missed her as well, had missed holding her in his arms. He turned his face, burying his nose in her silky curls. The scent of fruit assailed his nostrils. She had always smelled like some fruit. Tonight's scent of choice had been green apple, making him crave a kiss, just to see if she tasted the way she smelled. "Missed you too," he echoed.

Her head lifted a bit, her chin resting on his chest. Gently, her fingers stroked back and forth across his chest. He could feel her staring at him intently. "I really have missed this…missed you." He is a bit taken aback by the clarity in her voice. The sleepiness was still there, but so was an alertness that said she wasn't speaking in her sleep. "I know that I have said some things in the past that weren't, well, very nice, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things. They're not true."

Alex wasn't sure what to say. He had always assumed she had meant every word, that that was her actual opinion of her. He had tried not to hold it against her, yet he had. Every time she smiled at him, he could hear her telling him that he was a horrible person, that he deserved to be alone. He hadn't wanted to replay those awful words, there had just been no shutting them off. Over and over, like a broken record.

"I always assumed you knew that, until Rebecca told you she was pregnant." Her fingers kept moving, back and forth, leaving a tingly trail across his skin. "I wanted to tell you she wasn't. I couldn't though. I had made this promise, to Bailey and myself, that I would try and be a better doctor, that I would keep things confidential."

"I understood." Alex said quietly. He had understood. She had been doing her job. It wasn't anything he wouldn't have done.

"Really? I was so worried you wouldn't. It killed me, seeing you making all those plans when there was nothing to plan for. And then when you accused me of not being happy for you…that stung. I won't lie, it hurt. Because if there had been a baby I would have tried to of been happy for you."

"Tried?" Alex frowned. There it was again, that voice telling him she thought he was worthless and why wouldn't she feel the same about any child he had. A lump formed in his throat. Despite the broken record in his head, he had still held onto the feelings. No amount of trying had rid him of them. In fact, they had grown stronger. Even when he had found out about her and George, he had loved her. Love. He knew now that the feelings were just that. He loved her, even if she would never love him back.

"Yeah. Tried. Not because of you, but her. She wasn't worth it. She wasn't worth caring about as much as you did. She didn't love you. Not like you deserve." The conviction in her voice startled him. He adjusted his head so they facing one another. He was a bit surprised to find their faces only a half of an inch apart. "I…I guess, also because I was jealous."

Hands down, that single word stunned him more than anything else she had said. "Why?" Mentally, he kicked himself for asking. He wouldn't get the answer he wanted, that she had wanted to be the one.

"It wasn't George. He wasn't the one I wanted to move on with, but…you had said there was someone else and…" Her voice trailed off, her head ducking down so that their foreheads were pressed together. "I kept thinking about how you had moved on and I was alone. I didn't want to be alone anymore. And, I don't why I picked George. No. Wait. I didn't pick him, pick him. Not really. I guess the alcohol did. I can't say that I regret it though. It made me realize that my life could go on and that I was ready to move on. Not with him though. I realize that now. I think I always have." He wasn't quite sure he understood. He knew what he thought he was hearing, but was it really what she was saying? Or was it just what his bruised and aching heart wanted to hear. "I wanted you. I wanted to be able to move on with you. I wanted to see where we ended up this time. To start over. Forget about Olivia and Denny. Well, forget them as much as we could. Only you had Rebecca and I wasn't going to be that woman. Not again. The woman who stole some else's man." His though constricted. She was saying it. She was saying the words he had longed to hear. "Do…do you think…that maybe…some day?"

"No," he said firmly. She started to move, her body trembling. He could tell from the shaking that she was trying to not cry. "I don't need to wait for someday." Using the tips of two fingers, he raised her chin so they were once again face to face. "It was always you," he murmured before capturing her lips in a kiss.