Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe.
Prologue
Edward Cullen had never before regretted his job.
Until this moment.
He used to believe that he had never made a wrong choice in his life. Sure, once or twice he'd stepped onto an incorrect path but that was all it was. Just one step. And then he had turned in the opposite direction and walked away. After all, he was only human so it was impossible for him to be perfect.
But as he stared at his Bella, he realized she thought he was exactly that. Utterly perfect. And it would hurt like hell to tell her that he wasn't who she thought he was, that it was time for her to throw him off the highest perch on the pedestal she'd placed him on. Throw him down until he was dirt beneath her feet.
When she found out the truth, she would hate him forever.
"Bella," he whispered, cupping his hands softly around her pale cheeks. For the first time since he'd met her, the warmth from them was lost and that chilled him to his core.
She opened her eyes. Even though they leaked her sadness and her confusion and tore at Edward's heart, he couldn't get over her loveliness, her pale face, soulful brown eyes, and long dark lashes.
He wiped her tears away tenderly with his fingers.
Isabella Swan had ruined him for all other women. And he probably ruined all her trust in men.
"Edward, please tell me what's going on. I don't understand why you're doing this." Her words sounded like a desperate plea and he despised himself for making her beg.
This is wrong. This is so wrong.
Bella wasn't supposed to want him that way. He wasn't even supposed to get that close to her. The instructions had been clear: Become that one friend she relied the most on and then break her heart. No bullshit. It was clean and simple.
So why did something so effortless suddenly become so adulterated and complex?
"Edward, I love you so much," she whispered now. It was her feeble attempt at rooting him there. For if he were gone, she would surely waste away.
As much as he'd wanted them to be Edward and Bella, as much as he wished there was an us between them, he knew that would be impossible. If he told her how much he loved her, it wouldn't be without guilt.
And hearing those words from her were enough to rip apart the tearing cracks in his soul. Because Bella held more than his heart. They could never be merely friends. Fate had had other plans for them.
Hearing those words, Edward's mouth collided with hers in a fit of passion. Their tongues tangled together in that familiar way of theirs. Lips, teeth, tongues all mingled as one.
He tugged her lip between his and shifted his hands from her cheeks to support the back of her head, holding her as if she were made of glass.
Bella, however, was not as gentle. Say it back, Edward. Tell me you love me.
She wrapped her fingers around his unkempt hair and pulled him closer until he was hovering over her.
But then he pulled away, only to lavish her neck with his lips. Edward's right hand slid down to her shoulder, then down her arm, until her left hand was grasped tightly in his right. He felt the rock of Jacob's engagement ring beneath his fingers. He wanted to crush that ostentatious diamond that was so unlike Bella's tastes.
For the first time ever, he felt an anger so violent course through his veins. It shook him and he forcefully returned his lips to hers, taking in the fact that this would be the last time he would get to be with her like this. Because she was never his to begin with.
Jacob was her past. Jacob was her present. And Jacob would be her future. Even though he didn't deserve her. Even if he didn't know her the way she'd wanted.
Edward tasted her tears and it just felt so wrong for making her cry.
Bella could feel his anger and then his surrender. Panic rose in her throat at her realization. He was giving up. He was going to stop fighting for her before he even began.
His fingers tightened on her fourth finger, tugging on it. If he wanted to pull it off, that was fine. She would happily comply. But he didn't. He pushed it farther back until it was digging into her soft skin.
As Edward kissed her like his life depended on it, his hand went limp in hers and he pulled away completely. Bella returned her hands to the blanket in her lap.
It was over.
"Don't tell Jacob, Bella. He's your fiancé. It would only hurt him and I don't want you to shoulder that pain. It wouldn't be fair to him." His tone had become stiff and Bella knew he was hiding behind that hard exterior she had tried so hard to crumble.
He pressed his lips twice to her forehead and once to the top of her brow where her bandage had been fixed.
And then he turned his back to her and in a loud voice, said, "Goodbye, Isabella. Take care of yourself," and then walked out of the hospital room.
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