Nuclear Fusion


Full Summary:
I, Taniyama Mai, would never have thought that the school's cheerful heartthrob Eugene Davis would ever have a reason to attempt suicide. Then again, how much did I really know about the popular exchange student? And what do I do when a helping gesture from me suddenly makes us friends? Well, don't ask me again—it's not as if I can answer that question, myself…

[Slightly inspired by Kagamine Rin's 'Meltdown'.]


IMPORTANT! Read this! DL, DR!

Pairings: Friendship!GeneMai.

Genres: Angst & Hurt/Comfort

Disclaimer: I will never own Ghost Hunt, 'kay? All rights reserved by all concerned parties.


Primary Reaction
Taniyama Mai + Eugene Davis


Should I dive into
the nuclear reactor
I know I can disappear, so I can sleep…
A morning without me
Will be much more wonderful than now
Where everything is in gear
Meltdown, sung by Kagamine Rin

It was granted that at every high school in the world, rumors spread like fire on a leaf pile. And let's just say that here, in this humble high school in the middle of Tokyo, there was a new rumor that had me on my toes when I first heard of it.

The popular pretty boy of the school, nineteen-year-old senior Eugene Davis, was currently in the hospital. I wouldn't have minded if I didn't have a crush on the guy. He was my idol the moment he started school here. He was an exchange student from England three years before, and before you could say "John Bull", every girl in the school had heard of him and of his equally stunning twin brother as soon as they had entered and was itching to have them as boy toys. And I was one of those silly, hopeful teenage girls that hoped to be the center of the cheerful Gene Davis's undivided attention. I confess, I was your typical hormone-driven teenager at that time.

Anyways, the Davis twins both look very much alike, but what sets Gene apart from his younger twin Oliver is his optimistic attitude. I've never met Oliver face-to-face before, but from what I've heard from Keiko and Michiru, he's the type of guy who could outclass icicles in coldness. On the other hand, Gene was the exact opposite. He was a dynamic persona in every aspect.

Anyways, because of his extreme popularity, the news of his being rushed to the hospital was instantly relayed around the campus. It was talked about in hallways, narrow corridors, in classrooms, and at the quad at any time of the school day, may it be at recess, or while everyone is at lunch break, or when the dismissal bell rings. Or maybe even while class is going on.

I admired Eugene Davis, of course, but the fact was, couldn't they just shut up about it? And the fact that Oliver was being tightlipped about it made some rumors fan out about it. And it just got worse as it went on.

"I've heard from a classmate of his that Davis-senpai was caught slashing his wrists with a penknife in his room when his mom suddenly walked in and saw him," Michiru told me with a worried tone one morning after the bell rang for dismissal. I shot her an incredulous look as I arranged my books and stuffed them in my desk.

"Are you serious?" I told her flatly. "He's the ace of the soccer team, the rep in his class, the possible valedictorian in his batch (it was a known fact that Oliver and he were at constant loggerheads over the top spot ever since they both started school), a strong candidate for prom king this year, and the most popular student in this school. He's got no reason to even think about suicide."

"Well, that's it, right?" Keiko, at my other side, sighed. "Sometimes, the most popular people tend to commit suicide because of stress. I mean, it happens all too frequently in Hollywood…"

I just kept silent after that. Eugene Davis and suicide? Somehow my mind wasn't even able to comprehend those two things together. Weren't the popular guys supposed to be all cheerful and happy? And Eugene, certainly, was the very epitome of content and happiness for me.

No, this was probably just another rumor. It was unheard of that someone such as Eugene Davis would do such a thing. The school seemed to think he had such a bright future ahead of him.

I convinced myself after a moment. Yes, it was just a stupid rumor, that was all.

…And yet, a week later, after the rumors about Gene trying to take his own life had already developed into its own entity, I saw him one day, before the bell rang for the morning assembly, as he stood in the corridor that housed both of our classrooms, not looking as he always did. He didn't look different, per se—He was still dressed in the same school-law-defiant style, the top buttons of his outer black school uniform undone to expose the immaculate white polo shirt underneath (I would have taken him to be Oliver if he had buttoned them all the way up). His face still had those same breathtakingly perfect features. Nothing seemed out of place with him.

At least, not physically. I just noticed that he appeared to be… rather withdrawn.

There was no charmingly mischievous smile on his lips. There was no strong and confident posture. There was no energetic voice or chipper shout to his friends across the hall. He was just… there.

The hall went nearly silent as most of the students caught sight of the golden boy, and many stared. Gene fidgeted, almost seeming nervous, as he smiled a smile that just reeked of self-consciousness, in comparison to his usual confidence, and told all of the people shamelessly gawking at him (in other words, the whole corridor), "Morning, guys. You can stop staring at my cuteness and go back to your classes now!" which earned him appreciative laughs before he entered his classroom, as if he was trying to seem more positive than he really was. And yet, as he was going out of my line of sight, I couldn't help but peek curiously at his arms.

—His hands were nonchalantly put in his pockets and his uniform covered everything else, so that investigation was out.


A few days after Gene had returned to school, everything seemed to go back to normal. Gene went back to trying to play the part of his old popular self, and I hate to admit that he was quite good at it. But there were flaws with his acting. His smile would sometimes waver, or he would pause for a moment whenever someone would again ask him where he had gone. However, to the untrained eye, Eugene Davis's performance would be flawless.

But from my everyday glimpses of him whenever he hung out with his friends in the corridors or in the study halls, I could see all of these things. I didn't know why I was suddenly much, much more observant of his actions, more so when you compare it to my past infatuations with him, but I was. I thought that it was because he had done… you know, that. But since it was only speculation, I had nothing to go on. Eugene never outright came out and said that he had tried, and failed, to take his own life. He kept silent whenever a questing somebody would ask why he was gone from school, and no one had thought of pressing him.

However, the days were fast, and the rumors were faster. Soon, all of the people wondering what the hell happened to Gene and he had managed to land himself in the hospital had fabricated stories about what happened. I didn't pay attention to any of those stories, but I was losing my faith in the cheerful front that Gene was bravely keeping up.

I saw him a few more times at school, but we were nothing more than schoolmates passing each other as we went off to our separate ways. Until that one day came, a few days later after his return, wherein I first managed to secure a first conversation with him.

He was goofing off and practicing soccer with his teammates in the field as usual while lunch break was going on, while I was watching him on the side with Keiko and Michiru and getting increasingly edgy as I saw him flawlessly act out the part of the confident jock that the student body had already written up for him, when suddenly, the ball hit me right on my forehead in a smashingly fast strike. And did I mention how hard footballs really are?

"Mai!" I heard Michiru scream.

I was thrown off my feet at the impact and pain, and I heard a well-known voice call out to the others about something like… what is it again? I was too disoriented to think about anything else.

"Are you alright, miss?" the voice was suddenly beside me, kind hands helping me sit up groggily as I tried to get my eyes focus clearly again. Then I looked up, and to my surprise, I saw that the person who had been helping me up was none other than—

"D-Davis-senpai?"

I must have taken that ball to my head a bit too hard…

He smiled, a quick flash of true mirth that I hadn't seen him use lately around his friends ever since his comeback, and patted my shoulder bracingly. "Are you okay?" he repeated, smile widening as he stood me back up on wobbly feet. "We'll take you to the nurse's office, alright? I'm sorry, Takeuchi kicked that ball a bit more forcefully than was necessary…"

"I— okay…" I mumbled, consenting to be led away with that warm, kind hand enclosing mine as he guided me to the school, both of us painfully aware that a thousand eyes were watching us curiously, including those of my friends'.

I noticed something that made my heart stop, though.

The jacket sleeve covering his right arm had rode up as he pulled me, and I saw gauze peeking at me from behind the cloth.

Bandages.

Moreover, that afternoon was also the same afternoon wherein I heard him being confronted about his suicide attempt for the first time.

It had been usual for me to take my bicycle to school, and when I was about to head for my transport to detach it from its chains, a loud conversation caught my ears. I glanced off to the side to see Gene and some of his soccer teammates by the gate. The tallest boy in the group had his arm looped around the shoulders of the girl beside him, a grin slipping onto his face as he poked Gene playfully in the ribs.

"C'mon, Gene. You can tell us what happened. It's killing us to not know!" he was saying heartily.

The girl (I think she was a cheerleader) that the tall boy was anchored on to was stifling a giggle. It was evident that they were an item. "Maybe you meant that it was killing him."

The rest of the group laughed at the pun, while Gene smiled slightly and fidgeted in obvious discomfort. "It's nothing, guys. Just forget about it," he said with a shrug, trying to cut off the talk.

"But someone told us that you cut your wrists in your bathroom," another girl commented. "Another told us that your mom saw you."

"Where did you hear that?" Gene muttered uncomfortably, his honest eyes faltering as he looked around the expectant faces of his mates.

"From the coach!" exclaimed a boy to his left. Gene's smile wavered, a look of shock momentarily flashing in his blue eyes. I paused from keying in the lock of my bicycle when I noticed how still he got, and how his friends seemed to border on carelessness, all the while not thinking about how sensitive this topic was. Perhaps Gene's mom told his homeroom teacher about what happened and it spread around the faculty, and that's why the teachers all knew of his supposed suicide attempt.

"So is it true?" the tall boy asked.

"Guys…" Gene tried tentatively, with the best smile that he could muster. But I almost felt it as it sank in his heart like a rock.

"Did your mom really find you after having Noll break down the bathroom door?"

"You didn't fight with the paramedics and try to open the window and jump out on the street, did you?"

"I heard they stuck you in the nut house for observation."

"No! There's no way Gene would survive that," laughed another boy, nudging Gene with his elbow. I noticed that Gene had by now gone completely silent. My fingers tightened around the key to the padlock before I turned my heel at the last moment and strode casually over to the group of students who hadn't noticed how pale Eugene had gotten. They only noted my presence when Gene noticed me and looked up, surprise and recognition hovering over his face like a cloud.

Dammit. Was I really going to do this? But then, he smiled warmly, and I was suddenly determined to make him smile like that more often if it killed me. No pun intended.

He was about to say something to me (presumably to ask if my head was feeling better, while I knew that what I was doing was certainly the craziest thing I've ever done) when I interrupted him confidently like a practiced actress.

"Excuse me for intruding, Gene-senpai," I began to lie smoothly, directing my words at Gene, who was looking every bit as surprised as his friends were, "but I just remembered that you had promised my brother that you'll start to tutor me in Chemistry today, and you've also left a soccer ball at my house last week. Maybe you'd better get it before anything happens to it."

Gene blinked quickly at me and I could almost detect the cogs working in his brain to place the pieces in their proper places. While his pack of mindless buddies were still looking absolutely bewildered, he was already smiling with a bemused quirk of his lip and nodded enthusiastically.

"Oh, I see," he played along, and I could see that he really deserved to be the batch valedictorian as he quickly bent my white lie to suit his needs. "I nearly forgot, I'm sorry."

"Last week?" his friend asked, shooting Gene a humorous expression of confusion. Gene looked back at him, still with his bright smile. "Wait, you were at her house last week when you were gone? I thought you were in the hos—"

"You're mistaken. Gene-senpai and my brother, who's in college now, had been childhood friends and they caught up with each other's lives last week when my brother returned from Hokkaido," I interrupted calmly. "If I were you, I would ignore the senseless rumors drifting about the school corridors. You can never trust whatever nonsense others can chew out." I looked over towards Gene, who smoothly strode over to my side as if that were the most natural thing in the world.

"Sure. I owe your brother a lot," he said slyly, the double meaning of his words stamped clearly in his tone as we turned to go to the place where my bicycle stood. "See you later, guys?" he called back to his friends, who were still a bit confused over what just happened.

"Uh, yeah, sure," the tall boy said uncertainly. "Just, um, text us later, will ya?"

"I will," Gene said with a laugh, and we quickly walked away.

When we reached my bicycle, which was completely well out of earshot from the others, he smiled at me and said, "Hey. Um…"

"Taniyama Mai. And what was it?" I replied flatly, fumbling with the lock on the chains entwined around my bicycle.

He smiled shyly at me and I suppressed all desire to just faint on the spot. "Thank you. For, you know… that."

I looked away from his grateful eyes and focused back on the damned lock, since the cursed key kept slipping. "Don't mention it."

"No, seriously. What you did was—"

"I said, don't mention it."

He looked sheepish. "Er—alright. If you say so."

I blushed furiously. "Um, shouldn't you be going home now?"

"Not right now," he sighed. Then he brightened. "Can I just walk you home, perhaps?"

"Er, n-no!" I stuttered. "That's alright. I also have a bicycle… so…"

"Oh…" He looked so disappointed that I almost went back on my word. "Okay. Taniyama… Mai, right?"

I nodded. "And you're the famous Eugene Davis. As if anyone wouldn't know your name nowadays."

He laughed infectiously, making me grin. "Yeah, well, it's not convenient for everyone to know that now. Why the hell is everyone so prying these days?" His smile vanishing in an instant, he sighed instead and looked down at his feet. I watched him for a few moments, the opened padlock dangling off my left hand as I stayed still.

It was silent once more, Gene unconsciously biting at his lip, as he glanced at me. "Why'd you do that anyway?" he finally asked curiously.

"I believe I said to not mention it," I said firmly. Even I didn't know why I did that. I was aware, after all, that I was going to be questioned and included in this suicide stuff about him (which I had already half-confirmed) as soon as school started again on Monday.

Why did I really do that? Perhaps it was the trapped look on his face? Perhaps it was the sensitivity of the topic? Or perhaps it was because he was still one of my inspirations after all of this? I don't really know, nor did I intend to find out.

"Yeah, but it's weird. You and I are on separate batches, so of course we never talk, and now you help me. I just think that it's natural to ask you why—"

"Would you rather I didn't get involved?" I asked, my blush fading as I stared at him defiantly. He smiled with a bewitching crookedness and shook his head. I smiled back. "I guess that's that then."

"I'm also curious about one thing— How come you haven't asked me about… you know?" he paused. "Everyone else has, but you…"

I stared at him for a moment before smiling blandly at him. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Gene stared at me for a while, before deciding that he liked my answer. He tried his old mischievous grin on, although it wasn't as powerful as it once was, before raising a hand in a mock salute at me. "See you on Monday, then, Taniyama-san."

I wistfully watched him as he walked away, hardly believing at both my good and bad luck. And when he was out of sight, I quickly flung my bag in the front basket of my bike and pedaled away as fast as my skirt would allow me.


"Hello. Having fun?"

I looked up in annoyance from my Chemistry textbook. I had been trying to study in peace at the library, since we have a quiz and Keiko and Michiru would rather watch the varsity guys playing. "No. Chem is hard." Then, I saw with some surprise that it was Gene.

It had been almost a week ever since that last incident, and while Gene and I occasionally exchanged hellos in the hallways whenever we see each other, we never really went out of our ways just to talk with each other. We just fell back to our usual routines, our paths never brushing. Just like always.

"Chemistry? Hey, that's my best subject last year," he commented. I pouted sullenly.

"Of course. Now, please let me study in peace." I was about to turn back to reading when he suddenly grabbed the book. Taken unawares, I could only stare dumbly as he stared at the lesson that I wad reading.

"Conditions for nuclear fusion," he read out loud. "A substantial energy barrier of electrostatic forces must be overcome before fusion can occur. At large distances two naked nuclei repel one another because of the repulsive electrostatic force between their positively charged protons. If two nuclei can be brought close enough together, however, the electrostatic repulsion can be overcome by the attractive nuclear force, which is stronger at close distances." He looked at me. "Don't tell me you could understand all these scientific gibberish."

"Well—"

"Unless you're Noll reincarnated, that is," he continued, as if I hadn't spoken.

"I—"

"Would you care to have an explanation served up, Eugene Davis style?" he interrupted gaily.

I grimaced. "Okay. I know you're not going to let me rest until you do."

"How right you are, Taniyama-san!" he exclaimed, then proceeded to the lecture. I was quite amused when he took my mechanical pencil and wrote 'G'.

"Let's say that this is Girl. And then, she meets Boy." He wrote a letter 'B' on G's right side. "Well, let's say that they're both nice, helpful, thoughtful, all those boy- and girl-next-door characteristics. Which makes them both positive, in a sense. And let's say that G fell for B." He drew a plus sign between them. "However, B is rich, popular, and smart, while G is just a common girl, or so she thinks.

"So that means that G will have to overcome that factor in order to, as we were saying, enter into a fusion, or relationship in this context, with him."

"Yeah." I was flushed pink as he told me the example situation.

"But you do know the maxim that 'opposites attract', yes?"

"Yup."

"And because 'opposites attract', that'll mean that similar characters repel, yes?"

I nodded. The typical romance novel cliché.

"Let's say that B isn't interested in her not just because they're a mile apart in regard of their status quo, but also because he thinks that a relationship will become a drag after a time if both parties are goody-goodies."

I can quite picture it.

"So what should G do in order to attract B?"

I had the answer already.

"She should find a way to overcome that barrier."

He smiled sweetly. "Quite right. But how?"

I stared at him. "How, indeed…"


"Really, I should come over at your house and tutor you in Chem," Gene teased me as he caught up with me right after the ringing of the dismissal bell.

"Are you implying that you think that I'm an idiot?" I said with a glare.

"Prettiest idiot I've ever seen, though," he said with a sweet smile, and I mentally smacked myself.

"Aren't you with your friends today, though?"

"Nah, I told them that I'm supposed home earlier today 'coz I have to make up for my missed classes," he shrugged. "Not exactly a lie, either…"

I was about to reply to that, when someone suddenly called out to him. We both looked back, I particularly mutinous as I've presumed that it was another one of Gene's popular, trendy friends. I was cut off, though, when I saw the intruder's face.

His similar blue eyes, straight nose, pale skin, and carelessly combed dark hair was indicative of one thing. That he wasn't one of them.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?"

Gene looked mightily guilty when he saw his twin brother.

"Go on home without me, Noll," he said uncomfortably, attempting to wave him off. The other, Oliver I should think, looked particularly ticked off at his brother's reply.

"Mum's already having kittens over you, you know," Noll snapped. "And I should think that you have to spend some extra effort on your school work because you've—"

"Just go without me? Please?" Gene tried a puppy face at Noll, who immediately looked as if he was very suspicious at the sudden unsheathing of his twin's secret weapon. In other words, a healthy dose of wheedling. "Give me an hour, tops."

Noll turned an icy-blue gaze on me. I tried not to flinch.

"New conquest, huh," he finally said, with a dry tone that I hadn't liked the least bit.

I immediately intervened. "Um, Gene-senpai was supposed to tutor me in my Chemistry today, but if there's—"

"Fine," Noll interrupted me coldly, his coolness upsetting my confidence for a bit. "I don't need another idiot to convince me to let this idiot go." He then shot Gene a glare. "And that's so you, by the way. You're too kind for your own good." And with a controlled expression, he turned on his heel and stalked off, dark hair ruffling slightly in the breeze.

Gene smiled at me. "Shall we?"

"My bicycle—"

"Can seat two," he finished. "Come, you go ride shotgun."

I consented, and after perching myself precariously behind him on my bike, he steered it onto the street and began pedaling at such a quick pace, going even more faster whenever he freewheeled at corners. I pointed out to him where he should turn, and all in all, it was a good ride. I just hoped that I hadn't flashed anyone my panties, though. I was too giddy to care at the moment.

"This is your…"

"Apartment," I told him with a sigh as we stepped in the doorway and removed our shoes. "I live alone."

"Why? Where're your parents?"

"Gone."

"Gone where—? Oh!" Gene blushed like a very normal teenage boy. "I see. I'm sorry for the, um, insensitivity…"

"That's quite alright. It even comes in handy in certain situations. Like right now."

"I see. So that story about your having a brother is a fib too?" he asked me, impressed. "Nice thinking."

"Yeah," I replied self-consciously, proceeding to prepare some tea in the kitchen as he looked around enthusiastically. "You can place your books and stuff on the kotatsu…"

We arranged ourselves on opposite sides of the kotatsu when I finally came with the steaming tea, and he gave me a grateful smile when I handed him a cup.

"Anyways, why are you doing this?" I asked hesitantly, as I opened my book.

"What?"

"Hanging out with me. I mean, I don't think that I'm even interested in your interests…"

"Huh?" He looked up at me innocently, and started to bite the end of his pen.

"Well, in the past, I wouldn't have even imagined you to go and make friends with someone ordinary like me. I mean, you're nice, you're the top athlete in the soccer team, you're smart, and…"

"I don't like it to be labeled like that, actually," he said shortly, his look dropping on the table.

"You don't seem to mind it much before," I said offhandedly.

He blushed. "Depends on which angle you'd look."

"The rumors are changing," I informed him with a sigh. "They're now saying that I was the one who gave you a blood transfusion after that suicide thing."

He looked sorrowfully at me. "Really, Taniyama-san, I'm sorry for involving you."

"I was the one who involved myself," I corrected him.

He gave a weak laugh. "So you did. Well, I guess it's going to be of no use to you now if I do tell you what really happened?"

"Er… if you don't—"

"I don't mind, just don't tell anybody." His face was very grave as he said, "I did try to commit suicide."

I wasn't surprised, so I kept my expression neutral. I had a lot of evidences to support that theory anyway.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked him.

"Because someone like you needs not be misled," he told me simply.

"Then why did you do it?"

"Never mind that. I was just pondering over the idea, and then I got Noll's scissors out from his room, went into my bathroom and did it. Five slices was all it took." He sighed. "If Noll hadn't needed those scissors at that precise moment when I've made the final cut, I wouldn't have been talking to you right now. Contrary to popular belief, it was Noll who found me in the bathroom, since my parents were out that day. The door wasn't even locked. Then he called an ambulance and my Mum just learned of what happened when Noll called them."

I winced. "Then why the bandages?"

"The scars are more horrible than hell. I wouldn't have anyone staring at me whenever they see them." He smiled sadly. "I think I traumatized poor Noll. We both get fidgety whenever anyone says something about cutting or slicing or anything remotely associated with what happened… And yeah, Mum still won't shut up about it."

I didn't remark that those bandages were more likely to throw suspicious glances at him.

Then, with a sudden smile which unsettled me, he said, "Shall we start?"

"Er… okay," I said uncertainly. Evidently, he wasn't talking about it.

"Well, starting from where we've left off…"

The little study session was quick, easy, and quite intelligible even for me, who was a hardcore science flunker. I was quite impressed at how easily he seemed to explain complicated words, and by the end of the hour, I was beginning to get an inkling of the lesson.

The thing that quite marred my little moment of sheer happiness was the bandages that kept showing whenever Gene wrote something or whenever his sleeve rides up. Frankly, I can't stop thinking about why he decided to kill himself when he was one of the luckiest people alive.

I also realized something when the lesson had ended.

That Gene's relationship with me, given his troubles, might as well be the exact circumstances present in a nuclear fusion. And that means that if I truly wanted to help him, then that means that I have to do something to break that barrier between us.


A/N:

Planning this to be an extremely wordy four-shot. Don't curse me, 'coz I know you all like your stories long.


Give a poor writer an excuse to update. Review!