DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. ALMOST EVERYTHING EXCEPT FOR THE PLOT BELONG TO OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR, J.K ROWLING ALMIGHTY.

Sunday 31 of August, 1977

That's it. They're all mad. Bloody mad, they all are. Barking mad. Raving mad. Absolutely unmistakably totally mad. Crazy, the lot of them. Dumbledore has finally had one too many glass of firewhisky. There's no other explanation. Who in their right mind would make me, Lily Evans, a common muggle-born Head Girl? Yeah, that's right. Me. Head Girl. Please. However, the letter looks pretty real to me. So does the badge, and the signature. This is exactly what it says:

Dear Miss Evans

I am delighted to inform you that I have chosen you to represent Hogwarts and become Head Girl. Please meet with the other prefects and your fellow Head Boy in the prefect's carriage on your way to Hogwarts. I shall ask you and the Head boy to meet me in my office, were further plans shall be discussed and instructions shall be given.

Congratulations,

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore

P.S. The password at the moment is ''nerds'', a muggle sweet I have grown rather fond of.

The fact that Dumbledore is mental however is not the only thing I have come to realize. Everyone knew Dumbledore was off his rocker a while ago. I've realized where the madness comes from. His parents. This may seem rude, but whoever woke up one day and thought to himself ''Oh! I shall name my kid Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. What a nice, unnecessarily long name that is.''? Honestly, that's one way to ruin their children's lives. My child will have one nice, short name. Like Jack. Or Ryan. Or Percy. Or even Harry. Not twenty rather uncommon names. Pshh. Although there is no need to think about that. It's going to happen in a very long time, If it ever happens. I'm pretty sure the person to marry me would be even madder than old Dumbledore, and that's saying something. Except for Potter.

Oh Merlin.

Potter.

I forgot about him.

Well, it was fun whilst it lasted.

I will have to see Potter tomorrow on the train. How lovely. I cannot wait. I swear to Merlin, if he asks me out on the first day back, I will not hesitate to hex him into next week. That little git, with his smug expression, and his soft, mesmerizing hair, and his gorgeous hazel eyes, and hi- Erm, in conclusion he's a prick.

''Hey, freak''

Oh great. Here we go again.

Ladies and Gentlemen (or witches and wizards): my sister, Petunia. My dear, wonderful, loving sister. Who hates me. Because I'm a witch and she's not. I know. Jealous much? What sucks is we used to get along so well. It's been years since I heard her calling me by my actual name, and not 'freak' or 'weirdo'.

''Hey freak. I called you'' I roll my eyes as I hear footsteps getting closer until the door swings open, revealing Tuney in a pink fluffy bathrobe with curlers in her hair and- I'm not even joking – Cucumbers on her eyes. Don't ask me how she can see. Must be her own kind of magic. And as she was quite the ridiculous sight, I snorted, not bothering to cover it.

''Think I look funny, do you'' she frowned at me and wrinkled her nose. ''I bet you won't laugh as much when I grow up and have skin as soft as a babie's and your face is covered with wrinkles to match these disgusting freckles of yours'' she replied, smirking when I touched my freckles self-consciously. She really is a pile of dragon dung, that one.

''Honestly, Tuney, the soft baby skin will probably be the your only feature that isn't completely repulsive.'' I fired back, giving her a satisfied smirk as she touched her nose self-consciously. I've insulted her long, pointy, toad-like nose for years now and I think it might have finally got to her.

''Whatever'' she muttered, the tip of her ears turning pink. ''You still haven't answered my question. Have you taken my hairbrush?''

''No, Petunia, I haven't taken your sodding hairbrush. Will you now kindly run along and do whatever you shallow, self-centered people do in your free time? Would you perhaps like to borrow a mirror, as yours has probably broken?''

Her blush extended to her neck and she walked out of the room muttering things I wouldn't dream of repeating. My sister, everyone. The foul-mouthed, petty, poisonous toad.

I just realized. Who's going to be Head Boy? Perhaps, if I'm lucky, it'll be Remus. Or perhaps, if I'm unlucky, it could be that preppy jerk, Amos Diggory. Please let it be Remus.

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Mine mother is a bit insane, I think. I mean, sure, be proud. But when I told her the news, she literally jumped me (in a mother-daughter relationship way, obviously). This is kind of how it went:

''Heyyyy mum. I have some great news for you''

''What is it, sweetie?''

''Well, you know how in Hogwarts, you have prefects?''

''Yes….?''

''And in seventh year, you just have the two Head students?''

''Lily…''

''Well, I'm Head girl''

For an awkward moment mom just stares at me. Still staring. Her mouth is opening. Slowly. Like a fish. It's kind of creepy, to be honest. I'm getting worried. Still staring…

''OH MY GOODNESS ME LILY! I KNEW IT''

Theeeeere we go.

''I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT! OH MY GOSH I'M SO PROUD OF YOU LILY! I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE BRILLIANT AND OH HEAVENS WAIT UNTIL I TELL YOUR FATHER ABOUT THIS. HE'S GOING TO BE SO PROUD, LILY, WE ARE ALL SO PR-''

I couldn't hold my laughter in anymore. I suddenly burst into a fit of giggles and hiccups, whilst my mom is staring at me with a puzzled expression on her face.

''Er, Lily, are you allright?'' she asks slowly, still gaping at me like I'm mad. Which I am, but whatever.

''Oh, my god, mom'' I manage to whisper in between my now increased giggles, ''It's just a badge. Honestly, woman. I haven't been elevated to the position of headmaster or something.''

''Well, yes, but it's still quite a deal'' she huffed, looking at me amusedly.

''All right then.'' I responded, my laughter replaced by a beam, ''I'd better go get ready for tomorrow.

That night, as I lay awake my in bed, rays of moonlight shining in through my window, and I let myself hope that maybe, just maybe, this year will be better.

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What do you people think so far? Do you like it or not? COMMENTCOMENTCOMMENT! I will never get better without your lovely criticism.

-AMW