Prologue


"Fuck, Fuck, Fuckity, Fuck!" I screamed as another golfball whizzed past me.

Don't those fuckers ever stop for anyone, oh right they don't have too, because the shit I was doing was the thing you only see in the movies.

Oh you wanna know what I'm doing, I'll tell ya what I'm doing cause I'm not doing anything busy. Hold on a sec, let me get more comfortable, oh wait I can't cause I'm running through a fucking golfing range.

Meet up to your standards?

Oh you think this is funny, do ya? How about you try running across the damn grass while 50 something people shoot golfballs at you. Yeah, that's what I thought.

Why am I doing this you ask?

Well that's tricky cause you see there's this girl, oh god I sound like a fucking cliche, anyway there's this girl who I have known for a while and we slowly went from friends to maybe becoming something more. Oh wait we did for a little while, until she decided to call it off because apparently there is another guy on the side who can offer her something better. Doesn't matter that we had sorta dated for about 2 months, doesn't matter that we had been friends for 4 months before that. No, no all that to her is like that gifts for christmas from your relatives you didn't even know you had,

"Oh gee, this complete series of 'Square Pegs' is great Aunt Hilda."

Seriously have you ever watched that show? After three episodes I have the theme song stuck in my head for the rest of my life.

Back to the girl, now her new "Boyfriend's" family is very very rich, so "Boyfriend" is rich. Not in rich in the heart or the soul, no I am talking gold toilet rich, as in he's gotta lotta Benjamins, while I have a lot Lincolns. Tragic isn't it?

So said "Boyfriend's" family frequently visits a certain country club and they decided to invite along their sons new girlfriend, how sweet. SO here I am running across the country club's golfing range trying to get to my fair maiden, ha ha fair maiden. Ahhh I'm a funny guy.

"Shit! Watch it asshole!" I screamed as I got hit in the cheek with a golfball.

Oh the things I do for this girl.


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