A/N: This story is somewhat AU-ish because I have not finished all of the manga. For that reason, the Akatsuki is not mentioned at all (sorry fans). It takes place after the time skip and Sakura is twenty years old. Oh, and I don't own Naruto.
What if I fall and hurt myself? Would you know how to fix me? What if I went and lost myself? Would you know where to find me?
Snow blanketed the streets of Konoha in swirling covers of white and silver. Children danced along the surface, mitten covered hands hooded over their eyes to block out the brilliant white of the sun glinting off everything in sight. Their laughter filled the area with cheer and good will as they hurried along in groups, rolling big snowballs in front of them. A few feet away the structure of a large snowman was in process, a fat, bumpy pile of snow marking his body.
Haruno Sakura sat in the background, perched uneasily on the edge of a snow covered bench. Her pink hair clashed with the bright, everlasting white around her, but the excitement and joy in the atmosphere left her blending into the background, forgotten. She knew she'd give anything to stay in that moment forever, completely and utterly forgotten by the world. Even though she wore no coat, and the cold air stung her bare skin, clawing at the residual warmth inside, she hoped that the snow would swallow her up in one swift movement, leaving no remnants of her departure. She especially hoped no one would be burdened with the news she was given today. Maybe, if she sat there long enough, everything would disappear, like the fleeting fear of a nightmare upon wakening.
"I'm sorry, Sakura-san…"
A few minutes passed sluggishly, and nothing happened. She felt like she was stuck on an endless loop, the children around her laughing in the same sequence, patting the same amount of snow onto the same lumpy snowman. It made her feel sick to her stomach all of the sudden and she turned away quickly. Suddenly she noticed the cold moisture seeping into the fabric of her clothes, and she shivered instinctively, but the tremble only reached the outer layers of her skin. Deep inside, her whole body was suspended in time, frozen by the shock and fear for her future.
"12 weeks…"
In an instant the endless loop around her was broken as a petite, little girl walked into her line of view, holding a ball of snow decorated with old, mismatched buttons. She smiled weakly at Sakura, and offered the snowball to her. Sakura stared down wordlessly at the ball of snow, recognizing the smiley face constructed by the cluster of buttons. The uneven placement of the eyes and nose should have made Sakura smile. It didn't.
The little girl withdrew the snowball, wounded. She dropped her eyes, her brown hair falling forward, shielding her wide, innocent eyes. Silence descended between the two, and the sounds of life around them seemed muffled in Sakura's ears, as if she was listening from underwater. She was waiting for the small girl to leave, oddly irritated by her presence, when a shy, soft voice spoke to her.
"Why are you crying?" The words thundered loudly in her ears and made her flinch.
Sakura sucked in a breath, and the air felt cold on her teeth. The words brought something alive to her, like nails scratching the surface of an old, oozing wound, and suddenly all she could feel was the roughness of her eyes as the eyelids scraped against the surface with each blink. The dampness on her cheeks felt permanent, as if the frost itself was freezing the tears to her very own skin.
She tried to find her voice somewhere deep inside of her, but all she could muster was a scratchy sigh. The condensation from her breath churned in front of her face and the heat of it stung the skin on her cheeks
The girl looked up, waiting. Sakura stared back, and then, as if a volcano erupted inside suddenly, a fresh new set of tears blurred her vision and spilled over her cheeks.
"I-"
"Chiyo-chan!"
The girl startled; the ball of snow slipped from her hands and fell to the ground in a powdery mess. Her line of view quickly switched over her shoulder, and she waved at a middle-aged woman dressed in an expensive wool coat. The woman's eyes peered at Sakura worriedly.
"Coming, mama!"
The girl looked back at Sakura, her warm, brown eyes pooling with emotion.
"I hope you feel better, miss. Sometimes when I feel sad I ask my friends to cheer me up." She nodded once, and then turned and ran in the other direction.
Sakura watched her as she went, her tiny feet leaving oval footprints in the snow. The footprints grew smaller and smaller until all she saw was the white line of the horizon.
She gazed down at the ground where the remnants of the young girl's gift remained. There, in the stark white of the snow, laid a pile of buttons. Only this time, the face looked wrong. The eyes were too wide apart, the mouth stretching into a slanting frown.
Sakura tried to think of what the girl said, but all she thought was… will I even have my friends anymore?
Sakura knew something was wrong when she woke up that morning. She awoke warm, and well-rested, feeling better than she had in weeks, only to find her alarm clock had fallen off her dresser, unplugged and useless. Panic struck her as she pulled open her drawer and searched for her watch. Missing. She had worn it for some unforeseen reason last week because she felt like it. Now she tore apart her closet looking for it. When she finally found it, she gasped when the time read 10:25. Almost two and half hours late!
She pulled on her boots, and fisted her arms through her coat, not even bothering to check her reflection or brush her teeth. She was out in the streets of Konoha in an instant, rushing among the crowd. She was so hurried she hadn't even noticed the crunch of fresh snow under her boots until a couple in front of her spoke with raised spirits.
"Can you believe it? The children were given the day off. A snow day they called it. Little Kimiko-chan was so excited."
Sakura glanced around, suddenly noticing the crowd was larger than usual, with children of all ages skittering along beside their parents speaking animatedly about sleigh rides and snow angels. She pondered momentarily about her own childhood and she had almost forgotten how late she was when a familiar voice called out to her.
"Sakura!"
She turned to see Ino standing a few feet ahead, looking posh and glamorous in a skin tight snow suit crowned with fur on the edges. Her face with stricken with surprise.
Sakura caught up to her in a few hurried strides. "Ino, something wrong?"
Ino eyed the pair of pajamas hidden beneath Sakura's down coat, a look of pure distaste on her face. "Well, actually, more than I thought."
Sakura narrowed her eyes at the blond. "Oh, shut-up, Ino-pig. Not everyone looks as glamorous as you straight out of bed."
Ino disregarded the comment, falling into step beside the pink-haired girl. She eyed Sakura's appearance, noting the sunken shape of her cheeks and the disarray of her unkempt hair. "What's with you lately..?"
"What do you mean?"
Ino stopped suddenly, pulling Sakura to face her. She grabbed a fist-full of her pink hair and displayed it in front of Sakura. "Split-ends? Knots? The Sakura I knew would never let her hair be un-cared for!" She dropped her hair suddenly, motioning to the pair of baggy sweats that swallowed up the petite girl in front of her. "And what's with the pajamas? Really, Sakura? Something's going on. Spill!"
Fury flashed in Sakura's face, reddening her cheeks. "Leave me alone, Ino! Ive been busy at work and you know it!"
"No, Sakura… I'm no fool. Something's happened to you! Is it a boy? Did he finally pluck your cherry?"
Sakura could feel the heat rising in her veins. She was losing it, fast. She stepped forward, ready to quell the anger with her blond friend, until a sight of a clock in her peripheral vision stopped her.
She turned quickly, shouting over her shoulder, "Mind your own business, pig!" And she was off again, pushing through the crowd toward the Hokage tower.
In the distance she could faintly hear Ino's voice over the crowd. "You better hurry, Forehead! She's in a terrible mood today!"
Ino's statement was way off target. Sakura had seen the Hokage in a terrible mood many times. Things were usually smashed and sake was almost always demanded for. But this was worse… way worse. She'd take a terrible mood over this any day.
If it could be described thoroughly in words, you could say Sakura walked in on a massacre that day. But it looked worse than that. It really did.
It was hard to recognize Tsunade's office. The desk was overturned, two of four legs were snapped off, lying in a pile of wood in the corner. Next to it, both bookshelves were overturned, the books spilling over the floor in a disorderly manner. The wheels of the upturned office chair spun madly in the air.
Sakura moved swiftly and quietly, hoping to disappear against the floral wallpaper. She pressed her back against the wall, and watched the madness unfold. She'd be a fool if she said she wasn't scared.
Tsunade held a jounin shinobi by his green flak vest, shaking him violently in the air. "He got away?"
She tossed him easily to the side, and he collided against the window. The window cracked and splintered under the pressure. The petite, yet frightening woman turned to the group of jounin huddled in the corner. They flinched as she moved towards them.
Sakura suddenly noticed who made up the group. Neiji, Genma, Tenzou, and Kakashi gathered closely, awaiting the wrath of the Hokage. The man lying in a heap on the floor was Shikamaru. He looked wounded and annoyed as he glared back at the Hokage. Sakura's attention paused on Kakashi. She hadn't seen him since their last mission together almost 3 months ago. His forehead protector was missing, revealing a sagging, bloody sharingan eye. She gritted her teeth, mentally scolding her former sensei. He'd overdone it yet again…
His eyes met hers across the room briefly, before he turned his attention back to the fuming woman. "Tsunade-sama, you must understand. We were outnumbered and he had the element of surprise against us. No one expected to see him this close to Fire country. His intentions seemed… odd."
Tsunade's perfectly manicured hand reached out and grasped Kakashi's vest firmly. Kakashi didn't even flinch; he merely peered back at her tiredly. "There are no excuses! Uchiha Sasuke is a threat to the village! He should be treated as such!"
The sound of his name made Sakura's breath catch in her throat. She clamped her hand to her mouth, fighting the urge to cry out. Her heart raced frantically at the thought of Sasuke, so close to the village. She hadn't heard his name in almost a year, and she was doing an excellent job trying to move on with her life. But he was like a scar in her heart; the mere thought of him peeled open the scab, leaving her bleeding all over again.
An emotion flashed quickly in Kakashi's eyes. "What? Do you think I was easy on him? Do you think I can't kill my former student?"
The acidity in his voice caught Tsunade off guard, and she faltered momentarily, releasing the hold on his vest. The fabric remained wrinkled and folded together.
"Don't you start with me, Kakashi! This isn't about you!"
Tenzou stepped forward, pushing his comrade behind him. "Tsunade-sama, we ran him all the way north towards Rice Country. We're sure he's headed to Hidden Sound. He had a group of 5-6 sound shinobi with him, including a medic."
Genma spoke this time. "But what the hell was he doing here with so few in his aid? Surely he wasn't here to attack. It's not like him to run."
"It sounds like research to me." Tenzou supplied.
Tsunade finally sighed, letting her anger slip away momentarily. Suddenly, she seemed very tired and old. "He will eventually take revenge on this village. It's in his blood. We need to kill him before things escalate."
Shikamaru stood, brushing the dust from his pants. "Hokage-sama, we can't counteract without a decent plan. We need time to figure out the correct strategy."
The anger welled inside Tsunade again, and she trembled impulsively. "Two weeks," She spat between gritted teeth, "I'm giving you two weeks to come up with a decent plan. DON'T YOU DARE LET ME DOWN!"
The windows rattled against her bellowing voice, and Sakura yelped. It was the worst thing she had done all day, slipping up like that. In an instant, all pairs of eyes were on her, including the darkened ones of her angered sensei. She swore she heard Shikamaru chuckle before…
"YOU!"
Sakura's ear drums throbbed and the window cracked and spidered towards its frame.
"HOW DARE YOU COME IN TWO AND HALF HOURS LATE? AND LOOKING LIKE THAT TO TOP IT OFF!"
Sakura squeezed her eyes shut and cradled her face in her hands, mentally scolding herself for not taking an extra two minutes to properly dress herself. Now she would have to face the residual wrath of her sensei, thanks to the dreaded news about Sasuke.
Tsunade turned towards the jounin group staring wide-eyed at a blushing Sakura. "You all are dismissed! Get to work immediately!"
The men nodded in unison, not daring to glance at Sakura as they shuffled out of the room. Except Kakashi… he paused in the doorway, scanned Sakura with one quick glance, and sent her a look of concern. Sakura didn't return his concern, just stared, red-faced, like a deer in headlights. Tsunade slammed the door behind the silver-haired man, and this time, the window shattered completely, shards of glass decorating the floor and the ground beneath it.
Tsunade turned swiftly, and Sakura flinched, awaiting her punishment, but only silence descended. The sound of faraway laughter on the streets echoed quietly in the ravaged room. The open window left a frigid draft seeping in, and Sakura shivered, but it wasn't due to the cold.
And then, "What's wrong with you lately?"
There it was. That damn question again.
Sakura peered up at her teacher with sad eyes, unable to answer the question. What was wrong with her? She seemed more tired than usual, and eating had become difficult, but wasn't that just a symptom of stress?
"Shishou… I-I…"
Tsunade sighed and ran her fingers through her sleek, straight hair. "What happened to my student with all the fire in her spirit? You really had something going for you… but now, you're just another girl who putters around my office."
The words stung and clamped around her already bleeding heart. Before she knew it, fresh tears pooled in her eyes, blurring her vision of her disappointed superior.
"I'm so sorry, shishou… I really haven't been feeling well. I think I need to get a check-up. Something hasn't been right." She sighed, "I know it's no excuse. Please, give me a chance. I'll go get checked right away."
Tsunade sighed again, anger lacing her voice again. "Go… I'm giving you the day off. But Sakura…" She narrowed her eyes at the pink-haired girl, "I won't put up with this tired attitude much longer."
Sakura nodded once, and quickly dashed out of the room. Her mind reeled with the news of Sasuke, and she was sure her day couldn't get any worse…
"Sakura-san?"
Hinata's quiet, feminine voice spoke across the packed waiting room. If Sakura hadn't known Hinata personally, she wouldn't have recognized her voice through the loud, bustling waiting room. With winter came the flu season, and the many people hacking and sniffling next to Sakura showed it was here in full force. She stood quickly, grabbing a shot of hand sanitizer before dashing off towards the dark-haired girl.
She nodded, smiling genuinely at her friend. "Hinata… I'm so glad to see you. I didn't know you were working at the clinic today."
Hinata returned her smile meekly. "Oh, I don't mind helping out when they're short-handed…" She motioned through the open door, pointing at a door at the end of the hall. "Room 7, please, Sakura-san."
Sakura smiled at the number perched above the doorway. Number 7… just like my old team. Suddenly she felt it was a good sign that everything would be ok. She marched in the room confidently, removing her coat and looping it on the coat rack. Hinata followed her in shyly, handing her a paper gown.
Hinata blushed furiously. "I'm sorry Sakura-san, it's protocol."
Sakura took the gown, smiling brightly at her dark-haired friend. She knew how things in healthcare worked. Leave it to Hinata to find changing into a gown embarrassing… she appreciated her friend's honesty, though.
"I understand, Hinata. Trust me." She chuckled.
Hinata nodded, and turned to leave, the door clicking shut behind her. Sakura dressed quickly, removing everything but her underwear. She folded her clothes in a neat pile, and began to ponder about her condition, lining all the symptoms up together in her head. The extreme fatigue and nausea were her main warning signs, although it seemed the nausea was getting better. She figured she had a touch of something that she couldn't seem to get rid of. It was flu season after all.
She twiddled her thumbs impatiently, trying to quell the anxiety in her. It was nothing… it had to be the stress… She'd seen what the life of a shinobi could do to people. Once, a few years back, Chouji had been so stressed about the chuunin exam that all he ate was oranges… for two weeks straight. Besides losing an insane amount of weight, he was fine. He went on to continue eating normally and he was unchanged by the whole experience. Sakura knew it had to be something like that. Her training with Tsunade and her job at the hospital could be very stressful to juggle at times.
Sakura sighed, watching the clock on the wall tick. It seemed like an eternity before Hinata returned.
A soft knock on the door prompted Sakura to answer "Come in." The door clicked open, and Hinata entered backwards, allowing Sakura extra time to cover herself. The gesture made Sakura smile. Hinata was always so considerate of everyone's privacy, an attribute that was hard to come by in the world of shinobi.
Hinata hid her face behind the clipboard in her hand. "Ok, Sakura-san, what kind of symptoms have you had lately?"
Sakura paused, suddenly realizing how nervous she was. She shifted on the exam table, and the paper gown crinkled loudly. "Well, I've been very tired… and very, very nauseous. Sometimes I vomit several times a day with no warning. It seems all I can eat is…" Sakura paused, and blushed, knowing how ridiculous what she was about to say was. "…ramen."
Hinata's whole face flashed bright red, and Sakura immediately knew her words reminded Hinata of her blond teammate. She took it as an opportunity to steer the conversation away from herself.
"How is Naruto, Hinata? I know you too have been spending some time together."
This obviously was the right move, because Hinata's voice squeaked as the clipboard fell to the floor clamorously. Hinata stooped quickly and retrieved the clipboard, shuffling papers in her hand nervously.
"I-I'm just going to run a f-few standard tests. Sakura-san…" Hinata's voice continued to ramble on about blood pressure, blood tests, and urine tests. Sakura was relieved the diversion was a success. She didn't particularly like playing patient and she was ready to get on with her life and get her focus back. No more tired, lifeless Sakura.
Hinata worked quickly, drawing blood, checking blood pressure, taking Sakura's height and weight. Sakura frowned when she noticed she had gained 3 kilos. It seemed impossible to her. She barely ate, and what she did eat, she usually ended up vomiting.
"I'm sure it's just a flu bug, Sakura-san. But I will run your blood tests just to be sure." Hinata blushed furiously suddenly, her voice lowering. "D-do you know when your last menstruation was?"
Sakura's eyes widened. Of course she'd ask that question… She thought very hard, and each passing second made Hinata more and more flustered. She couldn't remember having a period since a little bit before the mission she had with Kakashi, around three months ago. It was an occurrence that should probably have any normal woman worried, but Sakura was a kunoichi. The life of a kunoichi was stressful, and it wasn't an odd occurrence to skip a few periods.
Sakura hesitated before she spoke. She attempted to strengthen her demeanor. "September sometime," Sakura's voice was weak and shaky. "B-but that's normal for me. I'm never regular."
Hinata nodded quickly, attempting to hide her emotion. "O-of course, Sakura-san…"
The dark-haired girl dashed out of the room, and Sakura took her time dressing into her clothes. Her mind wandered back to the conversation in the Hokage's office. Were they really going to assassinate Sasuke? Was he really a threat to Konoha? And most of all, how would she feel about it if he was killed?
Sakura sighed, unable to think about it anymore. She should hate Sasuke with every fiber of her being; he was a cold, calculated murdered now, a pawn in Orochimaru's sick twisted game. But all she could see was young, lost school boy, crying alone among the corpses of his own family. Sasuke had become a part of their family, her family, in Team 7. She knew Naruto felt the same way. But what about Kakashi? His dark, bitter words surprised her today. Do you think I can't kill my former student?
Something about Kakashi had always left her feeling confused, longing to know more. His past was dark and cold, as Sasuke's was. Why was it that he could handle the loneliness and Sasuke couldn't? Maybe the truth was that he really couldn't. She'd seen him too many times standing at the memorial in the graveyard, just staring. Hours would pass and he wouldn't move. Was that why Kakashi was so mysterious? So difficult to get close to? She supposed she had no reason to get close to him anymore. His job as her sensei was over; Tsunade was now her subordinate. And the way things were, it seemed it would stay that way. She rarely saw her former sensei, and in passing he would only mutter a simple "yo" before slipping away into the crowd again. In fact, she was surprised to be teamed up with him on a mission a few months back. The mission itself brought back fond memories she wished she could relive. If only things had been different… if Sasuke hadn't made an alliance with Orochimaru. But she knew life had its own path. It was up to her to follow it as best as she could. She supposed she was doing an okay job…
The sound of the door clicking open startled Sakura from her thoughts. She glanced momentarily at the clock, realizing twenty minutes had already passed since Hinata's departure. She turned towards her dark-haired friend, ready to give her a convincing smile, when Hinata's expression stopped her.
Sakura froze. Hinata stared hard at the ground, her lips trembling. The color on her face was completely drained, and the flesh looked gray and pallor. Something in Hinata's eyes startled Sakura, and she shivered in response. Fear gripped at her throat, clawing and scratching into her chest.
Sakura leapt forward, and grasped Hinata by the shoulders roughly. She shook her once, twice, and searched the other girl's face for an answer… for hope. "What is it, Hinata? What's wrong?"
Hinata yelped and squeezed her eyes shut, trembling against Sakura's jarring grasp. She pressed the clipboard tightly against her chest, gripping the edges of the paper until her knuckles turned white.
Sakura held tightly to the dark-haired girl, her nails digging into the flesh beneath them. She tried to calm her voice, but it came out harsh and harried. "Hinata! Tell me!"
Hinata finally cried out, flashing her worried eyes at the pink-haired girl. She pushed the clipboard into Sakura's chest, ready to lift the burden from her hands. Sakura stumbled, the clipboard fumbling in her hands. The sound of blood pulsing in her ears was deafening as she searched the paper before her. All she saw was point 10 font reading numbers and letters that were all too familiar—the sign of a normal, healthy woman. She almost sighed in relief, until she saw it… there were way too many numbers there.
HCG quantitative: 227, 000
All of sudden the room felt very unsteady, and Sakura stumbled backwards. Panic stole away her soft features as she stared back at Hinata, her jaw trembling with each shallow breath.
Pregnant… she was pregnant.
The clipboard clattered on the floor, and the startling sound pierced through Sakura's frozen demeanor. She fell to her knees suddenly, her hands splayed out on the floor in front of her. She stared hard at a black speck of ink on the tiled floor, concentrating on each breath. Inhale… exhale… inhale…
Each passing breath came out shorter, harder than the last until Sakura was near hyperventilation.
Hinata's soft, tender voice shattered the silence. "I'm sorry, Sakura-san…"
Sakura was on her feet in an instant, grasping the dark-haired shoulders again. She squeezed tight, felt the muscle spring beneath her fingers. "Are you sure? W-what if you ran the wrong blood through? What if it wasn't mine?"
Hinata squeaked in pain, frightened by the sudden manic in Sakura's voice. "S-Sakura-san… I-I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"
Sakura released the trembling girl suddenly. "No! It's not possible! You don't understand!" Hot tears sprung from her emerald eyes. "It's not possible!"
Hinata helped the hysterical pink-haired girl into the chair, squeezing her hand with reassurance. "I think you're almost 12 weeks…"
Hinata tried with every ounce of courage to be an anchor for the trembling girl. But it was hard to see it. Haruno Sakura… strong, confident Sakura… diminished to a quivering pile of tears. For a moment, she thought of her former teacher, Kurenei and the small toddler she had now. Her life as a strong, independent kunoichi was over. She sighed, trying to think of Sakura that way. The image didn't fit.
Sakura's sobs stopped suddenly, and for a moment, the two girls remained suspended in time, clinging to each other for different reasons. Silence swallowed them up, stitching the bond between them.
Sakura pulled away, and the bond was broken. Now they were just two girls sitting in the same room, trying hard but failing not to judge each other.
"Hinata…" Sakura's voice was deeper, making her seem older and more tired than her twenty years. "Hinata, you mustn't tell anyone. Please."
Hinata nodded, and Sakura stood slowly, shakily. She turned and sprinted out of the room, passing the waiting room full of sick people, the street outside the clinic, and finally the marketplace where she talked with Ino earlier that morning. Her legs kept moving instinctively as her chest squeezed tighter and tighter until breathing was impossible.
She tried hard, struggling with an inner turmoil to believe Hinata would keep her promise. But today, nothing seemed as it should.
As night began to descend on the streets of Konoha, children of all ages retreated in clusters, their cheeks rosy and their mittens sodden with melted snow. In the clearing they left behind a very, robust and jolly snowman. His crooked carrot nose and toothy, button grin was the perfect personification of a day well spent in the snow.
Sakura watched the sun setting in the horizon, its bright orange hue casting a dreamy, tangerine tint on the melted snow. She wished she was in a different state of mind so that she could appreciate the beauty and magic of her surroundings. But something about it seemed askew to her, like watching rain fall on a sunny day. She wondered what it all would mean to her next year. Would she be a parent, just like the others, looking on as her child played in the snow? Would this be her last winter as a kunoichi, with nothing on her mind but medicine and jutsus?
No… it wasn't possible. It couldn't be possible. Somehow, everything in her world had lurched and rapidly changed direction, and now she was left muddled and dizzy. Everything that had once been solid and tangible was now just an illusion. And the worst part of all was it wasn't just one life she had to figure out, it was two-two pulsing, beating hearts intertwined into one body.
That thought had the bile rising in her throat again. She heaved forward, wrapping her arms around body. Counting to ten, she squeezed the flesh of her upper arms to quell the sickening see-saw in her stomach. Her fingers were numb and felt like cold stones against her skin.
The shock of the day could no longer keep her numb to the surroundings. She knew she had to get out of the cold. Sitting there pondering away in freezing temperatures wasn't going to help her situation at all.
And then, just as she readied herself to leave, she felt it—that warm, familiar burst of chakra. She knew it was him even before he came into view. His chakra was almost as familiar to her as her own; years of camaraderie gave her plenty of time to memorize it.
"Kakashi-sensei…"
He appeared suddenly beside her, his shoulder brushing against hers. The warmth of his body was blazing against her frigid skin, and she sighed, longing for more of it. She settled by leaning a little into him, and the heat swallowed her in an entrancing bubble. She almost forgot he was there, until he spoke, his voice deep and liquid in her ears.
"Sakura… what are you doing out here?"
His words shattered her momentary paradise, and the reality of the day came crashing down upon her abruptly. She withdrew herself from his warmth, and put her face in her hands, rubbing the flesh until it was raw.
"I-I…" She stammered, searching deep inside for the right words.
He peered down at her with knowing eyes, and then removed his green flak vest, wrapping it around her shoulders. The utter, blissful warmth seeped into the frozen, outer layers of her skin, and she gasped, struggling to keep her legs from buckling beneath her. In that moment, it was all she needed, and even the problem that lay beneath the taut muscles of her stomach seemed distant and trivial.
"Come on… let's get you home."
Kakashi turned, starting towards the street ahead, but Sakura remained frozen, staring back at him with widened, blood-shot eyes. She watched the back of his profile, studying the curve of his back and the disarray of silver hair, and suddenly a thought struck her, knocking the breath right out of her lungs in one, swift rush of air.
"Tell me…"
He turned, regarding her with one stoic eye. He shrugged, motioning for her to continue.
"What happened…?" She grasped the edge of his vest and tightened it around her. "That mission we had three months ago…"
Kakashi flinched, a look of surprise flashing in his face briefly. He quickly corrected his posture, though, hardening his features until only indifference remained. "What do you mean?"
"Did anything… happen to me?"
One silver brow rose as she spoke. "Injuries, you mean?"
She bit her lip, peering at him with nervous eyes. "No, nothing like that…"
Kakashi shuffled his weight onto the opposite food, crossing his arms. "I'm not sure what you're talking about Sakura."
She suddenly regretted asking, knowing the silver-haired man was not one to talk about such things with. But she pressed on, desperate for answers.
"Well, I mean, could anything have happened that would make me forget… certain things?"
Kakashi's visible eye widened, and he startled, lowering his arms by his side. Confusion swept over his features, and in the basking glow of the setting sun he seemed tired and old. In one quick, fleeting moment, understanding shone in his eye.
He narrowed his eyes. "What are you implying, Sakura?"
Heat flooded her face, and she suddenly realized the hole she had dug herself. "N-nothing… nevermind."
Kakashi stared at her through one narrowed eye, casting an aura of keen perception. The awareness in his lone, coal colored eye made Sakura shiver, and she turned away from him, desperate to break the suffocating atmosphere between them.
She waved her hand casually. "Sorry, forget it. I've just had a bad day that's all."
She turned to leave, brushing past him hurriedly, but his gloved hand reached out and grasped her wrist. She gasped, peering down at his big, warm hand in shock. With the flick of his arm, he twirled her towards him, pulling her closer in one, swift movement. The height difference was substantially obvious as he glared down at her with warning in his eye.
Sakura gulped, and then attempted assurance in her voice. "W-what-"
"Don't tell anyone about what you heard today." His voice was dark and masculine, and the words rattled Sakura's demeanor all the way to the bone. She froze, her heart racing erratically as silence surrounded them. She was aghast; completely and utter shocked. Did he know already?
He squeezed her wrist tighter. "Did you hear me?"
"Y-yes."
He released her, the warmth of his hand retreating, but he made no move to increase the distance between them. Sakura sucked in her breath and held it tight, knowing it was the only thing keeping her adhered to the earth.
"Especially Naruto."
Confusion struck her features and she took a step back. "What?"
"Don't tell Naruto about Sasuke. He won't be able to take it well, and we need to keep him out of this situation."
Understanding rushed inside of her so fast she felt the earth beneath her feet shudder. Something oddly similar to relief crossed her mind, but it was quickly replaced with disappointment. Somewhere deep in the back of her mind, she was hoping Kakashi would have an answer for her, anything to make sense of her situation. Now she just felt spent and completely hopeless.
"R-right. Of course."
He nodded at her once, and his eye crinkled slightly in a meaningful smile. "Now, come on. We need to get you home."
Sakura paused, not wanting the moment to end. She peered up at him with desperation, and then, reluctantly, she nodded in agreement. Kakashi turned, starting towards the street ahead. Sakura trudged behind him hesitantly, gripping his flak jacket and pulling it tightly against her. The streets were getting darker, and as they made their way closer, the streetlamps flicked on, casting an eerie yellow glow. She glanced back once at the snowman standing alone in the clearing, and in the dim, foggy light his button eyes squinted at her uncannily.
Today, she knew, was the mark of both a beginning and an end; both she was wholly unprepared to face.
A/N: Please review! This chapter was a little difficult for me because not much happened. It was almost a "filler"; a fluff chapter that introduces something much greater. I promise the storyline will get better. Thanks for taking a look!
