It contains some sex scenes, swearing and self-mutilaition...Be warned

Disclaimer: The original characters and plot are the property of me so please don't steal them I do not own Billy or Joe or the rest of the Darley Gang (Unfortunately!) But id o own the characters i create. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended so i apoligise if it has occurred.

"Hunger, love, pain, fear are some of those inner forces that rule the individual's instinct for self preservation"-Albert Einstein.

"Daddy…What are you saying?" my twin sister, Nicole's, voice came out in a pitiful whine, obviously unwilling to believe what her ears had just been told.

"I said, your Mom and I are getting a divorce…and I'll be moving out in a week. Now, it's entirely up to you kids who you want to live with, but before you make up our minds, just imagine me sitting all alone, in an empty apartment with no one to talk to but a cat named Marvin…oh, god, someone please pick to stay with me…you all know how much I hate cats!" although my father's voice held an air of humour, I could tell he really needed someone to side with him.

'Don't worry about it Dad…I'm sure your trashy mistress'll warm your bed…that is, if you can afford one on your shitty salary." My older brother Todd snapped sarcastically, smirking as the barb bit into his father as harshly as he intended. Even though I thought the comment was a little too cruel, I understood completely why he was so mad. Mom and Dad had been tense for months but none of actually thought they'd separate. Plus, Dad seemed a little too calm about it, as though he thought being easy-going and just making us feel like we were in control of the massive nose-dive our parents had forced upon our lives…I mean my little sisters were just twelve and Nicole and I only turned sixteen about 3 months ago. Todd was 19 and had moved out of home about a year ago, but I could tell the divorce was already having a tremendous effect on him, I mean, to find out the man you looked up to and admired couldn't even stay faithful to your mom was a pretty big blow…but, then again this whole thing was so sudden, we all felt a little frightened.

My younger sister Danni moaned miserably, and Mom crossed the room to envelop her tiny frame into a hug. Her twin Kylee clung to Mom's arm as she too, held back tears. Me, I was beyond tears and into that eerily weird place of acceptance, the one that people who have been in a terrible accident get, while everyone else panics. Todd took one look at his father looking forlorn on the couch and snorted in fury before grabbing his keys and running outside to his car. As we listened to it roar away, no one spoke. The silence was only shattered by Kylee and Danni's snivelling and Mom's gentle soothing words. I stared at the ground, unable to look my adulterating father in the eye. After a while, I excused myself and went to my room.

Once in it's comforting darkness, I picked up the photo frame that sat on my bedside table. As light from the street lamp outside poured in, from behind the shiny glass, my All-American family stared happily back at me. Mom and Dad looked completely in love and us kids gazed up at them with adoring looks on our faces. We were the perfect family…could it have only been taken the previous summer? Given the tension that had been floating around the house for months, it seemed so much longer ago. I glanced down into the joyful faces I saw staring up at me, and as I heard my sisters doors slam close, heard their sobs echo brokenly and heard my parents begin to scream blame at one another for the billionth time that week, Anger welled up inside me.

With a tiny scream, I brought the picture crashing down on my desk. The weak glass shattered like pieces of my soul, tinkling merrily, disguising the dangerous shards of imperfection and despair. I quickly picked up one long splinter and pulling back my sleeve, dragged the jagged tip across my tender flesh. Crimson blood welled against my white skin and I gasped as the pain tore up my wrist. Yet, release was immediate and I slashed a few littler grooves, before hastily ramming the shirt down over the oozing cuts, as my mom rushed in.

She looked wild and dishevelled, with tracks of mascara running down her cheeks. Running over to where I was crouched on the floor, she exclaimed sadly as she saw the shattered fame.

"Oh, honey, what happened?" Her sweet voice was full of concern and straight away, a feeling of resentment surged up from the pit of my stomach, filling my entire body. Why couldn't she act angry that her husband was cheating on her…or was that just it? Was it because she so fragile that he had to find some one else to sleep with? I hated her for being too weak and undesirable, for bringing my utopian lifestyle to an end…but, like the submissive girl I was, I swallowed my fury and replied not altogether nicely.

"Dammit, Mom, I tripped and hit it, is all. Chill out for god's sake." I flung, acidly, feeling the warm blood drip down my wrist. I just wanted her out of my room and out of my life.

She stepped back as though I had physically struck her, and with a cry, scurried from my room. I felt no joy as I saw her departing back, and a feeling of desperation filled me. I tried to shake it off by staring at my bloody wrists, at the marks I'd made to release my emotions but it wasn't until later that night, when I told Dad that I wanted to move in with him, that I truly felt a gush of triumph. It isn't that I truly hated my mother nor my brother or sisters, but I couldn't cope being around such a haunted place, because surely, Nicole was going to be melodramatic and act like she was dying, Todd would be moody and sullen and the twins would follow me around like puppy dogs, constantly seeking support. I couldn't cope with all their shit as well as my own, so I needed to get away…fucking far away! And as far as the cuts were concerned, they weren't particularly a regular thing, more like a fucked-up spur of the moment vent of frustration…definitely not something I was going to indulge.

As Dad and I drove into Boston a week later, the car was abnormally silent for one that contained a teenager. He tried half-heartedly to engage me in conversation, but after I nodded and uttered a non-committal grunt for the fiftieth time in ten minutes, he sighed and gave up. I was relieved, and as the words to "All over you" by the spill canvas ran through my mind, I fingered absentmindedly the skin of my left wrist, the one I'd cut that night. I now wore a thick bracelet over the scabs, the elastic jewellery beaded so extravagantly, no flesh whatsoever could be seen.

I saw Dad glance over a few times and frown slightly, so to avoid any questions, I gaily remarked "so Dad, what're you going to be doing once we get into town? As far as work is concerned I mean?"

"Oh, well Kate's dad owns a construction company, so I'll be working as a builder there." I stared shocked as I realised that he actually sounded content with being a manual labourer…my father, a lawyer, was looking forward to getting his hands dirty in a job that he didn't even win through talent but rather connections.

"Hmmm, sounds…great." I murmured before retreating even further back into my shell, fuming about how much of a pussy-whipped cock my dad was turning into. While we drove through the graffiti covered streets, Dad tried pointing out a few places he thought might interest me, but this time I didn't even feign curiosity, I just plain ignored him.

"Those are triple-deckers," he says as we made our way down Perverell Street, pointing to the rows of attached three-story houses. "Different families lived on each deck." On the corner is a tiny market. He pulls his car into the drive of a putty-coloured triple-decker with cement steps. In a quiet voice: "We're going to live right here, on the first floor, with Kate. You'll be going to Cratnk High school down the road. It's a nice enough place…I guess" he paused for a long second and I immediately became suspicious.

"You guess, or you know?" I demanded.

"Know;" He repeated more firmly. Doubt gnawed at my stomach, but before I could question him any further, Kate came flying out and immediately engulfed Dad in a tight hug. He laughed and gave her a kiss…I looked away quickly, but before I did, I swear I saw tongue…ewww! I began to gag, literally, and Kate pouted as Dad drew back to ask me what was wrong. I smirked and gave him an incredulous stare. He reddened then shuffled his feet like a naughty boy caught in the wrong. Kate went inside with dad and I was left outside, to deal with carrying in the bags. I struggled with them before slamming the back door shut…only to find Dad and Kate mecking in the kitchen…Yay…NOT! Uh, it is so disgusting I'm gonna puke, and I've only been here about two minutes.

"Where'm I supposed to sleep? I'm not gonna sleep on the Frickin' couch." I snarled.

Not breaking her lip-lock with my father, Kate pointed to a door down the hall. Dragging my bags loudly across the linoleum floor, I slammed the door open and threw them down. I pulled down the sheets and tried to drift off. Around ten O'clock, Dad and Kate went into their room, and I thought I'd finally be able to sleep. But as it was, God, there was no way that'd happen since I'm pretty sure you already know they were doing something other than sleeping. Loud moans and grunts came from down the hallway. I buried my face into the sheets and covered my head with a pillow. Since it did nothing to block out her screams, I chucked the pillow across the room and stood up. Then, as the noise intensified, I walked over to where it hit the ground, and once I lay back down, pulled the cushion back over my head and actually heard silence this time…Fuck, how I looked forward to tomorrow with such zest…