Solace
Pairing: Tony Stark and Steve Rogers (The Avengers, movie ver.)
Note: This isn't really so much about Tony and Steve as it is about Tony, Pepper and Rhodey, there's just a hint of Tony and Steve at the end really.
A lovely Thanksgiving dinner was thrown for the Avengers by Fury, Agent Coulson and Agent Hill. It was to show their thanks to the group of extraordinary people for all the good they've done and all the sacrifices they've made in their time here at S.H.I.E.L.D. Everyone had been shocked when Tony actually showed up with Pepper, no one had heard from the man in about four weeks and here he was in his best suit and Armani sunglasses… with not even a hint of a smile from the moment he walked in the door. Steve was still upset at Tony for not making any contact with him for so long, he was going to give the man a hard time and show him the cold shoulder, but lucky Steve, Tony did it for him.
This was red flag #1.
Thor listened intently while Jane, Clint and his wife, Bobby, tried to explain what exactly Thanksgiving was to the Asgardian. Bruce and Betty sat off to the side with Steve and Natasha, discussing movies and musicals, as turns out, Betty and Natasha share an avid love of CATS. Fury, Phil, Maria and Pepper talked casually about their plans for the holidays coming up, the four really seem to connect for some reason, Fury never thought he'd enjoy Pepper's company so much. Everything was calm and peaceful, everyone seemed to be in good spirits, until Pepper excused herself and walked over to Tony who had been chewing over which liquor would get him wasted at the proper speed with the proper taste at the moveable bar for the past twenty-three minutes. Steve didn't want to be rude, but he couldn't take his eyes away from the two, their behavior towards each other tonight was distant, uneasy and irate.
All Pepper did was walk up to Tony's side and whisper something, Steve blinked in disbelief at the nasty glare that she received from her boss, her friend. The only reason he knew Tony was even glaring was because Tony had made a point to take off his sunglasses before turning to give her the look. Everything about Tony in that moment, his posture, his deep breathing, his fisted hands, his clenched jaw, the way his lips were pressed together like he was trying to hold something back set something off in Steve. He had already guessed that Tony was in a bad mood when he showed up, but after being non-existent for the past four weeks, showing up without saying a word to anyone and giving this attitude to Pepper? Something was definitely wrong.
Pepper continued talking, keeping her eyes straight ahead while Tony continued to glare. Eventually, when Pepper finished talking and walked away, Tony visibly relaxed and slipped his glasses back on, walking away from the bar.
This was red flag #2.
Finally, dinner time. Before they dug in, each person at the table stood and said out loud what they were thankful for, some were cheesy, some were sweet, and some, Clint's in particular, were just downright stupid and made you want to slam your face in your plate. But that's why we love Clint. When it came to Pepper, she stood and gave her beautiful genuine smile.
"I'm thankful, every day, for every last one of you amazing people and all of the wonderful things you have accomplished. You don't just go around beating up bad guys, you save lives, you lose lives-" Pepper looked down and swallowed, "and you do your best every day to keep pushing on when you could just walk away without anyone stopping you. I'm thankful that you all are in my and Tony's life, you've given us so much and I only hope that we can return to you the generosity and friendship that you've given us." With this, she raised her glass and nodded her head, smiles and warmth filled the room and immediately disappeared in a wave as she sat down and Tony remained still. Clint smiled wearily and leaned forward against the table.
"Come on, Tony, I've been dying to hear what you're thankful for, man. Don't let me be the only one bringing the laughs tonight, I need my partner in cri-"
"I don't do this stuff." Tony turned his head to Pepper slowly after she cleared her throat. Steve ducked his head and gave a small shake.
"What stuff, Tony?" Bruce glanced at Steve and Clint cautiously.
"Guys, if he doesn't want to talk, he doesn't have to." Tony gave a small nod of gratitude in the doctor's direction.
"Tony, why don't you tell them what you told me at home today?" Pepper softly remarked, keeping her head down.
"I'd rather not."
"Why?" This was when she couldn't take it anymore, she was tired of keeping her head down and acting like some wounded dog trying not to disturb anyone. Tony needed to hear it, maybe it wasn't the best time but this woman was not standing down. "Because you're Tony Stark? Because you're Iron Man? Because when you're all alone, you don't have a problem getting drunk off your ass and expressing yourself to the world but when your around others in a time of need, you shut down and turn into the one thing you know best? An emotionless piece of metal?" Tony stood abruptly and held his glass in the air with his signature charming smile. Fury sighed and deflated a little, this was going to be a disaster.
"Ladies and gentlemen, aren't we having a lovely Thanksgiving today? I'd like to thank the big guy at the head of the table here for putting this all together, it sure is nice of you. Since Pepper is just idying/i for me to tell you all what I'm thankful for, I guess I'll be a gentleman and humor her. I, Tony Stark, am thankful for all of my new buddies here at S.H.I.E.L.D. because now that you're in our lives, Pepper doesn't have to babysit me nearly as much as she used to, and god bless her, we all know she needs a break from that."
"Tony-" Pepper fisted the hem of her skirt.
"I'm also thankful that I haven't died of liver poisoning yet, because holy shit, that should have happened ages ago, in fact, I think even though I have this pretty blue light coming out of my chest to keep all the shrapnel from shredding me up on the inside, I should be way more concerned about dying of alcohol poisoning since apparently everyone and their mother seems to think I can't go through any kind of emotional disturbance or make a decision or even breathe without shoving a damn bottle down my throat. And finally, I'm so so soooo thankful for that fucking god everyone's talking about all the damn time killing off good, hardworking, innocent, loving, respectful, generous, wonderful, brave, honorable, faithful people for no fucking reason and that I'm not allowed to have a fucking break down every once in a while, because iPepper forbid/i, one of these days, I might actually do something to embarrass her, myself or my company." Tony downed the glass of wine and slammed it on the table before turning to Pepper, tears welling up in her eyes. "That human enough for ya?"
"Stark, that was completely out of li-" Phil pushed himself up from his chair in a rage and pointed at the door, cutting himself off when Tony slowly raised two middle fingers to the agent with a straight face and walked himself out.
"Please, it's okay Phil, he's just… We're both suffering a bit right now, I just really thought being around all of you would be good for both of us. I'm sorry everyone." Steve stood and brought Pepper a napkin to wipe her tears, kneeling at her side.
"Pepper, whatever's going on, he shouldn't have said those things to you or about you. You don't deserve that." Pepper shook her head and blew her nose after wiping her tears.
"You don't get it, Steve, do you remember meeting our good friend lieutenant colonel Rhodey-"
"I remember him, you and Tony are really close with him. Sometimes I'm even jealous at how close they are. He's a good g-wait, did something happen to him?" She nodded silently until her composure fell apart completely. Her face scrunched up and she brought up her hands to smother her loud sobbing. Steve put two and two together, hugging the poor girl close until the other ladies pulled him away kindly and took over comforting their friend.
After she had finally settled down, they had agreed that she would stay with them to try and cheer her up while Steve would take Tony home. After spending four weeks keeping that drunken emotional wreck and his suit on lock down, making sure he doesn't go overboard, trying to cater to his wounds while she couldn't tend to her own- it was hell and she needed to escape, so a night away from the emotional black hole with friends was well deserved and needed.
Steve stepped out into the cool air of New York, his hair bounced softly as he flipped his head around to pick Tony out from the crowd, if he was even still here. And he was. Tony was sitting on the edge of the sidewalk, elbows on his knees, palms rubbing his temple and running through his hair. Steve took a deep breath and sat next to Tony, nothing but silence between the two for several moments until Tony cleared his throat.
"Phil was right, I was out of line. I'm sorry. I should go apologize to Pepper but I have a feeling I'm just going to make it worse."
"You should wait till things have calmed down. Take some time away from each other. I can take you home." Tony nodded his head, his mind was like a supernova of pain right now and talking was only making it grow bigger. Steve comfortingly wrapped his arm around Tony's back, resting his hand on the side of his belly. His lips brushed lightly on Tony's ear, "I'm so sorry about Rhodey, Tony. I'm so, so, sorry. He was a good man, a wonderful man and I know how much you two cared about each other, but it's going to be okay. I promise, everything is going to be fine." Tony hunched and tucked his head securely under Steve's chin, his face pressed firmly into his thick neck.
"I miss him, Steve, oh god, I miss him so much." Tony pulled desperately at Steve's shirt and held his shoulder, digging in his nails. Steve brought his other hand up to rake his finger through the weeping man's hair, rocking him back and forth as tears smothered his skin. He planted soft kisses on Tony's head, remembering the pain of losing his best friend, Bucky. He knew exactly what Tony was going through, he may not have had the exact relationship with Bucky as Tony did with Rhodey, but he knew that Rhodey meant more to Tony than even himself. At least he thinks so.
"Come on, let's get you home, Tony."
"No- no, I don't want to go back there, it's so lonely there. Can we go to your place?" Tony wiped his eyes with his sleeves and stood up with Steve, straightening himself out.
"Of course. Pizza, pop and a movie over candle light?" Steve smiled, his smile, it always made Tony feel warm and fuzzy inside for some reason.
"Sounds wonderful." With a quick, though lingering, kiss before getting into Tony's company car and leaving for Steve's not-completely-furnished flat. The Thanksgiving dinner wasn't good, but it wasn't bad. Both Pepper and Tony finally had a chance to have their minds taken off of the pain of their loss, Pepper with her dear friends at S.H.I.E.L.D. and Tony with his lover/boyfriend/emotional-outlet/whatever-Steve-is.
It was nice. It was peace. It was a little slice of solace.
