Inconceivable Love

Part 1: A promise made

Chapter 1: The Wedding Day

7:00 a.m. Lana's POV:

Ughh the alarm, normally I would not mind the shrieking sound in my ear especially because today is the best day of my life or at least it should be! However, last night I couldn't sleep a wink. I was tossing and turning all night and now when I finally collapse with exhaustion, that alarm continues to buzz in my ear like a warning that falls on deaf ears. I turn around slowly with my eyes still closed and hit the off button with a little more force than I intended. I opened my eyes and sit up on the bed only to be flooded with the extreme brightness of the sun streaming through the window. God Lana, what is wrong with you- you are acting like you are hung over! You have been waiting for this day since –since, well truth be told if someone told her a year ago she would be marrying Lex Luthor she would have laughed in their faces. I get out of bed and sit down at the mirror. Maybe its wedding jitters, everyone gets them. That's what I am telling myself even though I know it's something more. I start to get my things ready to go to the church when I pull out from the draw a scrunched up newspaper hiding under some of Lex's ties. I take out the newspaper and look at the front page that read -"When I was with Clark, I would have said yes without hesitating." I sighed and sat back down on the bed. Is that really what this is about? Am I having second thoughts about marrying Lex because I am still in love with Clark? I slid my head back on the chair and closed my eyes suddenly feeling a headache coming on. I allowed myself to think back to a simpler time or at least what I thought was simple. I had always known Clark was different and I always knew he liked me even when I was with Whitney but I didn't allow myself to think about it because I always felt some misguided loyalty to him. After Whitney was no longer in the picture, Clark was still very shy and didn't make a move until he was sure that I was over him. Clark was always so sweet to me and even while I felt a strong connection to him, I also felt that he wasn't being honest with me about who he was, deep down inside. Like it was an act. At the same time when I was with him I felt as though I couldn't be myself. I felt as though Clark held me up on this pedestal and almost worshipped me because I was so pure and perfect. All the while, I was holding back this side of me that was darker, outspoken, aggressive and more sensual. I felt as though I was putting on an act too. The hardest thing I had to do was to break it off with Clark but I knew deep down that Clark might never accept me wholly if I let him see this other side of me. I opened my eyes and sighed. Maybe that is how he felt about telling me his secret too. I knew we just couldn't last if we couldn't trust each other. I was heartbroken and lost because I truly did love Clark. But then Lex swooped up and saved me from that heart break which was something I truly never expected. Here he was all this time, my business partner and friend who had been there for me when I needed him the most. It started with late night discussions about the Talon and then we began to discover that we had so much in common even though we lived in such different worlds. The main thing to bring us together was the meteor shower. I saw the space ship and the aliens that arrived with that meteor shower and I was scared, confused, and shocked all at the same time. I mean it's not that I never thought about life on other planets. I just never thought that the aliens would really attack us like in the movies and why would they chose Smallville to come to? When everyone said I was crazy; Lex believed in me. He saw the same thing and we both began this quest, more like an obsession; to find out more about the ship, the aliens and their connection to the meteor freaks that had been constantly hurting us. As Lex and I got closer to the truth, we also got closer because with him I feel that I don't have to hide the darker side of me. I sat up and walked toward the window. Lex has done nothing but put his trust in me from the beginning. That is why when I looked in his eyes, I felt safe and content. I knew that he accepted me for exactly who I was and most times he helps bring out different sides of me that is so free and liberating I feel as though I can do anything! I remember the first time he kissed me and all the love that I felt in that one kiss. Love that I didn't think he was capable of giving. Love that I knew he wasn't used to having returned. I laughed a little to myself remembering the look of shock on his face when I kissed him back with all the emotions I had been holding in for so long. Yet, there is a dark side to Lex too. Even though I try to ignore all of Clark and Chloe's warnings I can't ignore the warning that goes off in my heart when I see his obsession with aliens and the supernatural. I know Lex would never hurt me but who is to say that he won't or hasn't hurt the people close to me. Chloe, Clark- Clark….I have this nagging feeling that if Lex and I find out the truth it could affect Clark. I have thought many times that if Clark would have told me his secret we might still be together but then again if I find out that Clark is meteor infected or some kind of alien then would I be putting him in danger and could I keep that from Lex? My head is pounding with all these thoughts running through it. Can I accept Lex's dark side; could I accept if Lex tried to hurt to Clark in his quest for the truth? I don't think it's a chance I am willing to take. Knowing Clark's secret would do nothing but put her life and love in jeopardy and she didn't think the quest for the truth was worth it. Besides, it wouldn't change her feelings for Lex and it wouldn't change his feelings for her. I look down again at the newspaper article and shake my head- how could I have said that I would have accepted Clark's proposal when he has done nothing but lie to me? Alright Lana- get it together- I threw the newspaper in the trash and began to finish what I started earlier which was packing my things. I looked at the clock before I left the bedroom- 1:00 p.m. Oh crap Lana! now you are going to be late for your own wedding! I hurried out the door and down the stair.

I was running so fast down the stairs that I didn't even notice Clark standing a few feet away from me in the hall and I bumped right into him! "Clark", I exclaimed, "What are you doing here." Clark held his hands out to steady me from falling and he looked down at me with a very determined look on his face.

"Lana, I can't let you marry Lex. You are making a huge mistake." He said as he continued to stare at me with such longing that I couldn't help the tears from swelling up in my eyes. I quickly turned around to hide my tears in case Clark should misinterpret them. This was going to be harder than I thought. I turned around to look at Clark still watching me waiting for an answer. I sighed and looked away again. No-it's time to face the truth. No matter what Clark's secret is or why he chose to hide it from me, he will never be the man I need him to be. He will never accept me for the women that I have become. He will always see me as the small town princess made of glass. Clark is my past. And then of course there was the baby. She was having Lex's child and she was certain Clark would never be able to accept that part of her no matter how much he said he loved her. She secretly hoped that this baby could bring Lex out his darkness once and for all. Lex is my future.

"Clark, I know this is hard for you to accept but I am in love with Lex. I don't want to hurt you but we both need to face the fact that we are not the same two people we were in High school we have changed and grown apart." I turned around to face him again.

"No Lana, that is not true. When I look at you I still see the girl I fell in love with. And I can't let you marry a monster disguised as a saint." Clark said as he walked toward me.

I started to get angry and a little annoyed at Clarks persistence but I knew I had to let him down easy. "Clark, I am not the same girl I was in High school. What we had was special but it wasn't real mature love. We were kids and it ended for a reason. It ended because we couldn't trust each other. What I have with Lex is a real relationship, we have trust and love and we accept each other for who we are. I am not blind Clark and I know Lex can be dangerous but I also know that he doesn't want to be that way. He has been fighting his own nature for so long and he can't do it alone anymore. That is why I am going to help him." "We are going to help him" I said as I looked down and placed a hand on my stomach.

"Lana, if you think that you can change Lex or that having this baby will change him you are in for nothing but heartache and I don't want to see you get hurt. I love you Lana, I always have and I always will." Clark said as his desperation was becoming more evident in his voice.

"Clark, I love Lex and he makes me happy. I hope that he comes out of this darkness but if he never does I can accept him and forgive him because I love him." As I looked in Clark's eyes one last time I saw the devastation and disappointment he felt at what I said because deep down I knew he had come here hoping I would come back to him. "I am so sorry Clark; I never wanted to hurt you. I have moved on and I am happy and I have no doubt that one day you will do the same. I want you to find someone that makes you happy too." I held his gaze for a few minutes and then willing myself to let go I quickly walked past him not giving him a chance to come after me. Clark stood in the hallway of Luthor Mansion tears streaming down his face as the girl he loved walked out of his life forever.