can't stop crying from every word that leaves us.

I feel so awkward..

I just let it fade away through my tears..

xXXXx SHINJI X HIROKI xXXXx

I feel nothing.. I sit in my room staring into space. I can't think. I'm not sad or angry. I'm just emotionless. Why can't I move? I'm just.. numb.Then someone knocks on my door. I blink and regain anything I forgot while I was staring into space. Back to reality Shinji.. The door opens and in comes Chigusa! My favorite.

"Mimura-saaan.." She started with a phoney voice,"I've been hearing around school that Yoshitoki saw you and MY boyfriend in the changeroom.."

Shit

" The idiot said he saw you and Hiroki fucking."

We weren't "fucking" .. I just barely kissed him..

Chigusa was really pissed at me..but fuck. When isn't she pissed? Actually.. Thinking back she's always jealous when Hiroki and I are

together. I have a distinct feeling she will end it in the most violent and dramatic way she can.

" Mimura. Is This True!"

She's so beautiful.. Why does she have to turn everyone off when she enters a room? I think I should just tell her the truth before anything bad happens, no reason keeping it in anymore. Maybe she'll realize how much I love Hiroki..

" Chigusa. I'm sorry. It's really true.. that idiot, Yoshitoki, isn't lying. I love Hiroki more than anything, and I'd do anything for him. I'm very sure he want's nothing to do with me now, so you have nothing to worry about."

Now get out of my house..

I was crying from these words. She gawks at me. She has this slightly confused look on her face, like she doesn't understand me. But at the same time she looks disgusted. She's says enough with her expression so I continue.

" I'll explain the situation in simpler terms for you." She glares. "You see, I LOVE him. He does not LOVE me in the same way, So cannot force him to LOVE me. He does not LOVE me because he LOVES someone else. That's you! So I am staying away from him because it's the best for him. SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT. GET IT NOW?"

Chugusa fists are clenched. She looked down muttering to herself.

" SHINJI! I swear to GOD if you come near us I will claw YOUR FACE OFF! DON'T EVEN THINK OF APOLOGISING TO HIM! JUST STAY AWAY! WE DON'T WANT YOU!"

Are you deaf. Did you not hear what I just said?

She whiped her eyes and stormed out of the room. I sat there as if nothing had changed.. I wish it could stay this way. I felt weird and oblivious to everything around me untill I heard a voice outside. Wait. Is that Chugusa talking to herself? I hope that hag goes slowly insane.. much like me. The words continued. It got clearer.

"Hiro.. If you love me you'll stay away from that freak."

I ended up listening to a long pause and almost stopped listening beleiving she was on her cell phone. Anger built inside me knowing she was talking about me like that..

freak...pah, she's a psycho.

"He's not a freak."

I scrambled to my window. I listened more intensively.

" HIROKI! You know what I mea-"

" No. I don't care what happened. He's still my best friend."

A burst of joy over came me. I started giggling to myself like a schoolgirl.

God what the fuck is wrong with me..

" What he did today could have meant anything, I'm not going to hate him for that choice he made."

" SUGIMURA! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY? DON'T YOU LOVE ME?

" No. I don't think I do if you resent my best friend that much."

I made myself to the door in time to hear that. Here I am, in plain veiw of Chugusa getting dumped over ME! I.. won. Her eyes swelled with tears and she looked down to hide the fact.

" I... I can't beleive it.."

Hiroki just stood there with a stern face and showing absolutely no sympathy. This is probably The only time i will ever feel sorry for Chugusa. She turned at the doorway expecting only to avoid Hiro's eyecontact but found me with my jaw droped and eyes wide.

" YOU! I HATE YOU SO MUCH!"

She gave me this look that made me want to die, as she probably intended. Then she hit Sugimura's shoulder feebley before she ran away.

Hiroki looked down. I bet he thought this was really awkward then he lifted his head to me and I saw there was tears going down his beautiful face.. I wanted to kiss him and make his sadness dissappear and for him to focus on US. I couldn't do that though. In fact I stayed where I was and decided to listen to Hiroki. I managed to make out what he was saying.

"Shinji.. Oh GOD... I LOVED her...but.. but... She said that AND..."

He burst into more tears he was holding back while trying to talk. I walked closer to Hiro and put my arm around him and tried to comfort him. "Hiroki... thank you for defending me.." He cryed even harder. I've never seen him in such misery. But I wouldn't say it's not turning me on.. I took him into my room and sat him on my bed. I sat beside him and listened to his rambling.

" I only wanted.. to make everyone happy.." he whispered through tears, " I didn't know.. I would go so fucking FAR!... OH MY GOD...why am I'm so STUPIIID?"

Hiroki's shakey voice made me want to hold him. It made me want to own him. It made me want to controll his feelings so that he would never feel this way. But all I could do was be a friend. I pulled him close to me and rubbed his back...

" Mimura... MIMURA.. I-"

" Shut up for a while.. Fuck. Don't you know you're rambling?" I laughed.

I pulled him closer. I could feel him shaking and sniffling into my chest. He pulled my clothes and cryed harder into me. I felt like his mother.. Then he lifted his head and collected himself. His face wet with tears.

"Shinji, I love you.. I want to lose my virginity to you..."

It was so sudden I couldn't make out my feelings on this.. I looked at him as if I didn't understand him.

" Shinji. I love you. Don't you love me? Haven't we always loved eachother?"

Yes..

My voice squeaked.

" ..Now? Umm... uhh... THANK YOU. I, uhh.. Me too. You mean You chigusa never did it?"

I felt my face heat up and looked at my lap to hide my blushing.

STU-PID

Then I felt Hiro put his arm around me and his lips meet my neck softly. I blushed even harder.. and I didn't know why. I held him back though. Hiroki smirked and kissed me on the lips. He pushed me down onto my mattress.

" Shinji? Don't you like me?"

" I always have.."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

END - CHAPTER 2

The second chapter.. this is where it almost gets to it but I feel to cut it off

once it get's good. And it's true.. Mimura is so confused/angry/confused/scared

that he can't stop crying.. Poor Mimura..